Advice needed... My partner has booked a holiday for us and has asked me to marry him the day before we go. Just me and him at the ceremony though. We both have kids to previous relationships who are inn there teenage years. My kiddies will be there but his kids live away so couldn't. I feel if all kids are not there then we can't go ahead. I want the photos to have all of the kids included. The other thing is years ago before I got with my partner he had a fling with his brothers partner (his brother doesn't know) I personally can't stand her as my partner isn't the only person she has been with behind her partners back. Problem being the party when we get home from our holiday. I can't get my head around the fact that she will be there but if she isn't invited it will open a can of worms.. would you turn a blind eye for the party or refuse her to be there.. she chases after my partner like a lap dog when she's around him..
Surprise him n get the kids there if it's possible. Also tell her personally that she's not invited and why. Hopefully she won't bother x
Let her go this happened before you were with him so it's none of your business really and she is his sister in law so regardless yous will need to get on x
I'd have a quiet word and tell her your fiancée would rather have steak at home rather than a burger out.
Hell to the no, she clearly has no respect for boundaries or relationships and without causing offence does your htb? To sleep with his brothers partner is the most hurtful betrayal of all, it will come out eventfully, these things always do. I certainly wouldn't have her there, to be perfectly honest I wouldn't have her anywhere near my family full stop. I'd consider asking the question if you were in the position your soon to be brother in law is, wouldn't you want someone to tell you .....
As for the children I agree it would be nice for you to have all of them involved, it could cause a lot of upset if some aren't there, have you though about asking the children how they feel about it? If not you can always hire a photographer for the party, then you can get lots of pictures with everyone! Good luck xxxx
Its your day dont invite her if you dont want her there shes only an inlaw so shes not a blood relative and tell your partner shes not coming and how you feel if he takes her siade and dosnt listen to how you feel or if you feel you cant talk to him about this then you need to ask yourself is this the man to be marrying do u want to marry into a ralatinship when theres people around him you dont trust
I would never have anyone at my wedding who i know has slept with my partner weddings are for looking to the furure not being riminded of the past and having people there who your partner has slept with will stop you being happy on your big day
I would try to get all the kids there other wise some will feel left out.
You could tell the partner that she isnt invited but be aware that she may turn up anyway x
Have her there and parade your wedding dress again and flash your wedding ring in her face. You'll be his wife, you can do what you like lol!
Tell your partner she isnt coming then if your parners brother wants to kick up a fuss about it then i think its time to spill the beans dont marry into a family where theres secrets its only asking for disaster
Im not entirely sure i'd want to marry somebody who thinks its okay to sleep with his brothers wife....
Takes 2 to Tango!!!
Tell her straight why she's not invited and why! Arrange for the kids to all be there. It's your day, it's about your future not the past.
My children were not present nor did they know anything about their dad getting married until afterwards. Her children were there and mine have never forgiven him.
As for the SIL she might not come anyway if she is still holding a torch for your h2b, but remember it is you he has chosen to marry and spend his life with, not her xx
That's awful for you! You're in the middle here and the innocent party. Why should you suffer at the hands of other people's deception. If your husband to be loves you, I would question why he doesn't want things to be honest & open so that the start of your married life has no cloud over it.
This really is NOT a problem that you have created, so it isn't yours to shoulder.
It was in his past before he met you. X
Completely mind boggled as to why you are going ahead with a marriage and long term commitment to someone who had a "fling" with his brother mrs !!! And the brother don't know .... how much more "flings "
Have happened that you don't know about .
I would say yes kids to all be there n I think with what you have wrote deep down you want them there too. As to the brothers Mrs - if you don't want the brother to know then let her come Partyyat end of day he's married you because he loves you n if she wants to be his lap dog then let her embarass herself. Deep down only you know what's right for you both x
He didnt go behind ur back with her so id just invite her but tell her u know and if she doesnt act appropriately round him ul spill the beans. Ur partners respected u enough to tell u he could have kept it secret so i wouldnt make things awkward for him and his brother over party invites.
Tell her that she will be having a migraine that day ... or the truth gets spilled. That way his brother can go and she can stay at home
Only have people at your wedding that you want there. Her problem, let her deal with it.
Was u with ur partner when he slept with her if u wasent then what's the issue why make one if don't need to be one
Tell her straight u dont want her there o ly the kids,, exes are exes for a reason they shouldnt be involved in your future thats how i see it kids with them or not... i wouldnt want my partners ex at my wedding F,,,k that lol... xx
My Dad recently got married in Australia without me or my brother there but her daughters were. We were hurt, but at the end of the day, they are happy together and your children will accept and come to terms with that I'm sure.
Good luck. X
That sounds like a lot of baggage before the marriage has ever started. I'd cut and run if i was you,sounds like a shit situation and doesn't seem like it'll resolve itself any time soon. F*ck that, weddings are supposed to be a joyous time.
I agree with all the kids being there. Invite the slag , get her on your own tell her to back off. You've got him not her. Feel proud X
My first opinion is that all the kids should be there yes as you'll look back in years to come and wish those photos had all of you in! If you want them all there I'd try to make it happen.
Second opinion, you've obviously forgiven your partner for cheating? So in that case I would swallow it up for the sake of a party if you don't want everybody knowing the truth about her and him! As there will be lots of questions as to why she's not invited! Unless she opts to not come?
I definitely wouldn't want her there either, but it it can't be avoided then just float around looking sensational and show her what a loyal wife looks/behaves like x
Hi I definitely wouldn't have her there :)
Definitely agree that the children should be there. As for the fling I would invite her and take the high road. Like others have said, flash the ring and the photos of the day. You're the one who has him and she is obviously not happy with herself or where she has ended up to be doing things like that behind her partners back! It would make her feel worse than if she wasn't invited!
This is a marriage i think will not last to long he will only get the erge to sleep with someone else
I would tell her partner of what a ...... she is and not invite her !!!
That's soo romantic!
Cannot comment on the brother partner sorry... but i would say DONT get married without your children!! My dad did this to us a few years ago and i was absolutely gutted :( it hurt a lot and has been the topic of a few heated discussions ever since. You no doubt love your children but trust me they love you just as much xxxx