UK
UKbride Member Request 11 Jul 2017

We are looking at getting married abroad, yet my in laws to be seem to be...

We are looking at getting married abroad, yet my in laws to be seem to be trying to make this very awkward for us by continually complaining about having to drive with their caravan and dogs, and insisting that we invite various family members that I've never met. How would everyone deal with this? Thanks

30 Comments
Angie Norris
Angie Norris 11 Jul 2017

It's your day, do what you want

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Just do what you want and ignore the negativity. No matter what you choose they'll whinge till they get their way. I let go of my desire to get married in my home county which is about 200 miles from where I now live because of similar complaints and a big part of me wishes I hadn't compromised because it was quite important to me, but anything for a quiet life eh?! Stick with what you want to do and block out their moaning, or compromise and do it in this country but I guarantee they'll find something else to complain about, you can never please everyone!

Alanta Emoh
Alanta Emoh 11 Jul 2017

I would not have people i dont know and personally would not let people dictate your venue either they have a choice whether to attend do what you and your spouse want we are having 15 guests to the wedding only but being lenient on reception guests its your day make it about the two of you xx

Jade Goodwin
Jade Goodwin 11 Jul 2017

I had quite a lot of people at my wedding reception that i didnt know and i dont think it was a bad thing they were all lovely an all people my husband knew so i don't really see the issue unless your aim is to have a very small wedding, and what you may see as constantly complaining is them feeling comfortable enough to tell you how they genuinely feel rather than moaning behind your back, at least they havent said they wont come most of my family didnt an mine wasnt even abroad

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Go abroad and get married without them!

I've just had a big church family wedding a few weeks ago and I certainly gained a few grey hairs from it!!

Go abroad get married without them. Just you and your man is all you need, just have a party at home afterwards x

Stacey Brett
Stacey Brett 11 Jul 2017

It's ur day not theirs , end of , if they don't like it then tuff

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Tell them to put their dogs in a kennel, get on an airplane and stay in a hotel?! It's your wedding! Tell them you'll think about it next time they mention inviting people then 'forget' about them when it comes to sending invites! Then conveniently there will be no space for them! xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Do exactly what YOU both want to do, otherwise you will regret it afterwards. It's not their day!!!

Emma Richardson
Emma Richardson 11 Jul 2017

Your wedding your choice tell them to mind their own business it's how you want your day and who you want their..,

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Its not their wedding, try not to fall into the trap of pleasing parents & in laws. Plan it your way make memories for yourselves

Brigid Gribbin
Brigid Gribbin 11 Jul 2017

Do what makes you happy. I've learnt that xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

I gave my inlaws 5 invties and told her to invite people from my husband side of the family that i did not know and my mom did the same for her inlaws as they had so many people they wanted at my mum and dads wedding that my parents said ten invites you invite who they want to come no more after that

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

We had this with my FIL. We have gone ahead with wedding plans for Cyprus. We have said that we are paying for the wedding ourselves so they can't have any input. If they want to come there will be there. It turns out they are training their dog with every couple of weeks he will be going into kennels and each time it will be for a longer period. And my FIL has booked to get to Cyprus

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Do what you really want & only have people there who truly care - talking from experience ️

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Me and my fiancé decided to get married abroad, most family members have been very supportive but some have made us feel like we are awful people for doing what we want, saying we're selfish and making it hard work for other family members...we have decided it's our day and they are more than welcome to celebrate with us but keep all negative comments to theirselves...

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 11 Jul 2017

Hi don't invite the people you don't want there but you say you are looking to marry abroad it sounds if you haven't quite made up your mind. If your in-laws really don't want to come then that's their decision good luck :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

I am getting married abroad and had the same, my sister even said my date doesn't fit with her and can I change it. It wasn't a random date it is our anniversary! Just say that you are getting married abroad but you totally understand if people cannot make it. To suffice, I am having a celebration back in the UK too For everyone that cannot attend my ceremony

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

We are getting married in Rhodes in August! We have 44 guests and not had too much hassle, we gave plenty of notice and yes there are a few who aren't coming but that's the choice we made so it's on our heads either way we will have the day we dreamed about and we will have those who want to be there instead of a bunch of random or long lost family! Can't wait now, we all get a nice 2 week holiday thrown in too!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

We are getting married abroad and had the same problem. We didn't invite family members we hadn't seen for years or ones we had never met. It didn't go down well but we just explained there wasn't room. I personally don't think that you should have to invite family you have not seen for years just because they are family. We just sent out invites to the people we wanted to come and said everyone else would be invited to a party when we got back which helped diffuse the situation. We really wanted to get married in Thailand but due to some of the family being older we chose a closer location. The way they have all been about the wedding had made us wish we just went to Thailand on our own. My lesson learnt was do exactly what you want and not what anyone else wants xx

Kate Harrison
Kate Harrison 11 Jul 2017

Tell them to bugger off as politely as possible x

Rachel Hardwick
Rachel Hardwick 11 Jul 2017

Tough one. It is YOUR day overall but these people are going to be your family going forward and obviously their dogs mean a lot to them if they are prepared to drive abroad just to stay with them. Maybe a compromise to get married somewhere they can reasonably easily reach (France etc)

Victoria Frary
Victoria Frary 11 Jul 2017

Tell em it's your wedding not theirs x you invite who you want to be there x remember you've got to look at photos in years to come and not go who the heck is that lol x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

You could always ger married abroad then have a big party for the people that cant make it when you get back

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Just to put yhis out there... who says they can drive to your wedding abroad - it could be anywhere!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Run away

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jul 2017

Ignore them! It's your day! About about the two Of you did no one else! ️️ xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Jul 2017

I had this problem so we ended up having wedding closer to home xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Jul 2017

I'll be abroad from my family when we get married (from the states, but fiance's family is Scottish and we're marrying over here)--we've told everyone our plans as soon as we knew we'd marry in the UK and are giving them as much notice as possible so they can plan accordingly, while also making it clear that this is how we've chosen to have our wedding.

As far as inviting family members, if you're paying for the venue/catering, it's up to you who to invite! If you and your fiance want you can have another party after the initial wedding when extended family/those who can't make the day itself can come and celebrate with you.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Jul 2017

Just say it has to be a small do so you're only inviting people you want there most. If they choose to drive rather than book kennels and fly then that's their problem not yours

Amy B
Amy B 13 Jul 2017

Its your wedding, you and you H2B should tell them this is what we want to do, so you should be supportive of this! They will know someone who can look after the dogs for a few days...

Comment

Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?