Hi everyone, I'm having some troubles with a couple of my bridesmaids and I really need some advice.... So my sister is 16 and has planned my hen do single handedly! (it's a surprise and I'm impressed) But none of my other bridesmaids have helped even though she has asked several times (one lives in the Bahamas and helps where she can but the others live 5minutes down the road) The one in the Bahamas and my sister have tried on their dresses were there for make up trials the lot! The others are no where to be seen!!! The only thing I've asked them to do is pay for their shoes and they haven't and they have now said they may not be able go come to the dress fitting in September and we get married in November!!!! I honestly don't know what to do! Am I over reacting by getting so upset over this?
I'd be upset too. It's an honour to be asked and if anyone behaves with such indifference then they clearly don't care. At least you have two you can count on x
Well u hav to tell them straight if they dont come to dress fitting then they cant be bridesmaid, this is why i only had 2, its to much hassle & u hav enough stress to deal with
If it was me I'd be telling them they're not bridesmaids ... if they can't even turn up for dress fittings then they really don't care x
If they aren't willing to even try a dress on for your big day then i wouldn't want them. Think about it this way. You need help on your wedding day to get ready ect can you really trust them to help you and not stress you out more? x
I don't think you are overreacting at all! They should jump at all opportunities, its an honour to be asked to be bridesmaid! xx
I would tell them that they can still come to the wedding but not as bridesmaids. That's unacceptable behaviour. The whole point of your bridesmaids is to share it with the special people you have chosen
I think you should an email to each bridesmaid telling them how you feel. I say email because then their forced to listen to what you have to say and emotions have time to settle. State the facts and how it's making you feel when you're love ones won't supports you at such an important time in you're life. Good luck
Sack them off keep the ones that actually give a shit! Don't fork out loads of money for people who can't be bothered to turn up x
I had a similar issue with one of my bridesmaids. It was really stressing me out that she paid no interest in the wedding. So i explained to her how i felt and politely told her that i no long wanted her as a bridesmaid but she was still welcome to attend the wedding
I've had similar issues with one of mine, took ages to try on dress, agreed to stay and pay for a room then pulled out after we had paid for the deposit etc. Nightmare and it stressed me to bits, she now isn't coming and I am glad. Truth is no matter how important you think your wedding is, it's at the bottom of everyone else's priorities lists. Some people are amazing, really helpful and great to deal with. Others have their own lives and sometimes have bigger things going on which they need to deal with. Then you have the minority which are jealous, unreliable and frankly when it comes down to it terrible friends. Tell them how you feel, don't fly off the handle but be firm and if they are fine with it great, if not then they don't deserve to be there. Simple :) good luck
I would be upset too it is a great honour to be asked no need for that type of behaviour if i was you i would say to them you accepted my invite to be bridesmaid so if your not interested in the preparation side of bridesmaid then dont bother an come as a normal guest its your descision.
I would be really upset too Hun. If they can't make a dress fitting then I think I'd have to tell them they can't be bridesmaids x
If your friend in the Bahamas is able to make an effort then Surely the ones who live 5 minutes away should be making an effort too. If they can't be bothered to make an effort I'm not sure I'd want them as bridesmaids at all. I would speak to them about it and tell them how you feel and just go from there xx
ur not overreacting hun I would be the same way that's part of the reason I'm having a small wedding less stress
If it was me I'd tell them not to bother turning up for ur wedding, if they cant be bothered with all other bridesmids duties then u don't want them there. My maid of honour didn't even turn up on my wedding day, had to ask one if my guests to step into the roll x
Bridesmaids have certain responsibilities and attending dress fittings is definitely one of them, you need to tell them its not on! Well done to your sister though x
To be honest.. id just have the two who are showing interest. Xx
I see a lot of posts about nightmare bridesmaids and it boggles me as I wouldn't pick anyone I couldn't completely trust or who disobeys me . Hope it all works out okay
Honestly if any of my bridesmaids (7 of them!) pulled that nonsense I'd be telling them where to go. Two of them live quite far away so obviously would get an inch but if they took a mile I would not be standing for it.
I think you need to put your foot down. You don't want to be worrying about them when you've got a wedding to plan xx
Cut it down to the 2 bridesmaids u can count on u won't b stressing nd will enjoy it day more xxx they have had ample chances by sound of it xx
Personally I would sack them off. They are not showing any interest so why have them. Awful way to treat a friend though
I think they are being so selfish if they cant be there for you now what makes u think they will be there for the wedding tell them they either committ to being a beidesmaid or you wont have them this would upset me dearly and i certaintly wouldnt have them as bridesmaid
Your not overracting, you need to sit down with both of these bridesmaid and explain that they need to think about what they have been doing. They should be thrilled and excited they are your bridesmaids.