Hi I'm just looking for some advice on timings for asking bridesmaids... we aren't 'officially' planning yet so to speak as we are saving for a house first (renting atm). We aim to have enough by summer next year, so are probably looking at getting married in 2019 or even 2020 money depending. Having said that, we've been having a look at a few venues and getting some very basic ideas about the kind of thing we want from looking online, just so when we do get our house, we don't have to start from scratch and at least know where we want to get married. I had just planned on asking my bridesmaids nearer the time, once we are in our house and ready to start planning the wedding 'properly' but my fiancé said last night that he thinks I should ask them soon since we've been looking at venues and that. Now I'm not sure what to do.. maybe I should ask them soon? I just don't know whether it seems daft saying will you be my bridesmaid in 2 or 3 years and by the way there won't be any real planning to get excited about or involved in for about another year! Or am I underestimating how long it takes to organise things and maybe I should just get underway with planning at the same time as saving for our house? Argh help!! What would you do? And did your fiancé ask his best man etc around the same time as you asked your bridesmaids?
I asked my bridesmaids like a month after we got engaged before the venue was even booked! Got engaged may 2016 and asked my bridesmaids in like June/July 2016 we now get married August 2018! Fiancé asked his best man & groomsmen a few months after! There's no correct timing just do what suits you :)
It took me three years to plan my wedding I asked my 3 bridesmaids straight away but by the time the years passed me and one friend drifted apart and had made such good friends with another so ended up not having the first person I asked and then ended up asking another two people.
My fiancé and I got engaged last August, and are getting married next July - we've had the venue booked for the last 6 months, but haven't yet asked bridesmaids etc as we felt they would have nothing to do - so we'll ask in the next month or so probably...
Me and my fiancé are in exactly the same situation, getting married in 2019 and we have already asked our bridesmaids and best man just to keep them in the loop with our plans
I'm in the exact same position as we are about to buy so are booking our venue for spring/summer 21019 (date tbc). I'm personally going to wait until venue is all booked and the planning begins properly - they say bridesmaids are for help planning right?!
My H2B Is a typical man so has already said in passing already to his boys who is going to be his party.
I guess it's totally up to you tho!
I asked mine when we got engaged and id never do it again. Me and one of them fell out. If i could do it again id ask 6 months before. Od wait but thats me x
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I got engaged 2 years ago and only set a date last month for 2020 as we wanted to wait till we brought our house, I'm asking my MOH & chief bridesmaid this week as I know nothing will change and I feel as we've booked it it's the right time, but my oh asked his best men just after we got engaged xx
I'm getting married in June 2020 and asked them as soon as I was engaged in December 2016! I was too excited to wait and already have the venue booked :)
I asked mine once we booked the venue - which you could do soon as you decide because you'll just need a deposit. Then you've got something to aim for ☺
My advice would be to wait until you are in the house and know how much money you have left. Sadly weddings can really tot up! The other thing to bear in mind is that from a bridesmaids perspective there might not be much that you need them to do other than dress shopping and planning a hen! That being said some brides might prefer to have a conversation with their bridesmaids to understand if they plan on starting a family in the time scales you are looking...my fiancé hasn't asked his best men/ushers yet despite me already asking my bridesmaids - I don't think it really matters either way but normally people get officially engaged first before asking - everyone has their own ways of doing things so do what works for you both
I got engaged September 16 and asked my bridesmaids at my engagement party in the October we didn't book our venue until February this year it's up to you tbh
If you're absolutely certain who you want then ask them anytime. If you haven't decided yet I would wait until you're ready to plan and are sure of who you want there.
I'm getting married start of 2020. But not going to ask bridesmaids till about a year before because I know circumstances change and a lot of things can happen. Don't want to risk asking someone then changing my mind
Personally me and my h2b only decided on getting married this year and I've already asked my bridesmaids for our wedding in 2018 so maybe it might be gd
To ask sooner rather than later because u may need there help with stuff and I've already sorted the registry office and venue and hopefully getting my dress in few weeks but we're saving up at the same time hope this helps x
Just be careful as relationships change. I asked my best friend of almost 10 years to be my maid of honour and about 9 months before the wedding she grew very distant and ended up not coming to the wedding at all. We only had 14 months between getting engaged and getting married and a lot changed in such a short time! Hold off a little while longer just in case things happen as it can be tricky to ask someone not to be your bridesmaid whereas it's very easy to do the opposite!
Wait until closer to the time. A lot could change in 2/3 years
Me and my fiancé aren't getting married until 2020 and we have already asked bridesmaids and ushers and best man and booked venue and church x
You can ask but you may change your mind on later on about who to have. I asked my bridesmaids last year and it's not till next year. They were fine with it but you never know what could happen till then! X
I asked mine once the venue had been booked and we had estimated budgeting.
We get married 21st july ..a week on friday... my advise is based it on what you can afford .. it has cost us approx ten grand .. in the whole of that time we have had to pay out large amounts a month on top of bills to have been able to have this wedding ..its caused us a lot of stress and arguing loads of overtime and a lot of sacrifices .. hence i cant wait to start having a life again as in going out, doing things rather than being stuck in practically 2 solid years. We are now a lot more relaxed and looking forward to big day but by hell we have stressed. If we had done it a lot more cheaper than we wouldnt have nearly split up ..we kept together and stayed strong .. when i look back paying all that money a month for one day I.ll finally now admit I need my head testing ...could have gone abroad and done it in half the price just as nice x
We got engaged 4 years ago, asked my bridesmaids 3 years ago and getting married in a few weeks It's never too early xx
I personally would wait till its booked at least...a lot can change in that amount of time and although you might not believe it now, you may find you have people ready to be bridesmaid that you no longer want and then you've got the awkwardness of having to tell them! If you're set on waiting till you've got the house before you book the wedding then it's probably best to hold off on the planning, if you're not in a position to start booking things then get ideas but don't do anything that sets any of it in stone, because your plans, preferences and ideas will probably change :) plus if you do it all now you won't have anything to look forward to! Once you've moved into a house and got all that out the way you'll have something new to start planning :)
We just booked our venue for july 2019 were asking ours at our engagement party on friday!! :)
I would leave it until maybe a year before. If any of you were to drift apart it could be awkward. You'd either have to tell them they are not a bridesmaid any more or keep someone as bridesmaid, even though it's no longer what you want.
i asked my bridesmaid about 6 months before venue booked but i knew for sure they would be there on the day sonny advice only ask if you have the strongest connection even when u don't see for weeks or months
We have just booked ours for aug 2019 all booked deposits paid i am have my daughter and nieces but may have two adults but not telling them yet incase i change my mind
My sister asked me in 2015, she's getting married in either 2018 or 19 because she found out she was pregnant the night we got her dress!
My bridesmaids knew they were going to be bridesmaids as soon as I got engaged that was over 7 years ago now lol.
If it's friends I would wait. There are so many girls that say they wish they hadn't asked this friend or that one because they won't commit to shopping days or fittings or help organise the hen party etc. I asked mine 3 years in advance because it was my sister and sister in law. But think about who you are asking and can they commit that far in advance xx
Wait! Your friendships may change by then and lt saves the awkwardness of having someone u don't want as a wedding part x
My advice would be don't bother with the huge expensive affair at all. Go abroad, get wed there and come back and have a party. The day is about you two and not all the fuss, aggravation and huge expense of getting married here. As soon as you mention wedding you can hear the cash registers ringing!
I asked mine not long after getting engaged so didn't have any dates etc yet. Only did because I knew they would be at the wedding no matter what and we are all best friends. If you know your bridesmaids would move heaven and earth to be there for you and support you on the biggest day of your life, it doesn't matter when you ask them. Xx
I asked one of my bridesmaids 6years before the wedding. she was a kid at the time and we talked all girly and wedding bits all night! she was my bridesmaid in December last year. my MOH was my sister and I think we always just assumed wed be each others bridesmaids so I didn't really ask her.
I think the sooner the better. Theres loads that you can preliminarily plan. Or at least get ideas and stuff together
Definitely waiting until the wedding is booked is the best idea I reckon! Especially as friendships can change ALOT in 3 years.
Me and my partner asked everyone we wanted to be involved, (speechmakers, people doing readings, bridesmaids etc) as soon as we booked the venue.
Personally I wouldn't ask people too early as I have a read a lot of things on here where people wish they hadn't asked one bridesmaid etc. A year to 2 is more than enough to plan your wedding so don't worry about that. My h2b and I asked eveyone at about he same time yes x
Ask when you have actually booked a venue
Even though I knew who my bridesmaids would be, we didn't ask anyone to be in our bridal party until we booked our venue. Going to ask readers etc closer to the time.
I have unoffically asked when we got engaged.. I don't really have aproblem with people straying away though as they are my family. I wish I had waited until I had booked the venue though.
Personally I would wait to ask your bridesmaids, because I probably would now change my mind if I could. But if you are absolutely sure then anytime you could ask them x
I've been planning a few bits for our big day & purchasing a few bits ready for the day (shoes, makeup, favour boxes, tiaras, ribbon for wedding car) all before he even proposed. There is nothing wrong with setting aside a bit of money each month be that £10 or £100 just for wedding expenses if your able.
As for bridesmaids etc. I'd wait until about 6months before your special day, unless any have any body image issues & will want to lose weight but I wouldn't say anything until a year before at most as pregnancies etc could occur at the most inconvenient time for your helpers