how has everyone cut down their daytime lists? We have 135 plus children at the moment, and want to get it to around 100 plus kids. Some of the family, we feel like we have to invite to be polite, even though they don't make the effort to attend anything else, as we would have their siblings attending. Do we just say no evening only to all cousins etc, or pick and choose and maybe upset a few? X
I'm having the same issue!! It's so hard isn't it
We have cut out cousins and just went for immediate friends and family aunties and uncles is as far as it goes except for friends everyone else is invited at night :)
We've cut outs down by only inviting really close family members to the day. No cousins kids etc. And only people we see on a weekly/monthly basis. We have 50 adults and 10 kids for the day xx
Mine is immediate family, close friends, aunts & uncles - cousins are only invited in the evening x
In my experience there will be people who can't come. Our limit was 120 and we invited around 145.
I went to a wedding not long ago where they cut out their aunts/uncles and only invited certain 'immediate family' children like their own and nephews and nieces to keep the numbers down.
You have to be cut throat we have went for immediate family and close friends only for the daytime x
On my dads side I have loads of adult cousins who all have at least a few kids who are all adults. Inviting them would have added another 15/20 easily so what we did was just invited my dads siblings and invited all the cousins to the night, nothing was said
It's hard, we've gone with no cousins or children because we need to keep our daytime numbers to 60 max so we've had to be a bit ruthless. I think the key is only invite those you actually want there, don't worry about being polite or trying not to offend, go through your list and think honestly about who you want there, guarantee you'll manage to cut it down by a fair few :)
My husband alone could have invited 150 . We said, whoever we haven't seen or heard of in the past two years is off the list. x
We invited over 140 and initially priced for 130 with our venue. With 10 weeks to go it looks like we'll be having 116 (including 16kids and 3 babies). My advice is only invite people you really want there. We've invited our first cousins and their children because we want a big family gathering. We also decided to only invite our local family so relatives that live miles away that we never see aren't invited. Good luck x
Invite those who mean something to you. Don't invite those who don't. Don't get hung up on 'if I invite one cousin I have to invite them all' mentality. You have the people at your wedding that matter to you and will be with you going forward. I've never understood inviting people just because they're an aunt, uncle etc.
think of it this way - only invite someone you would take out for a £100 dinner. as essentially that's exactly what it is.. it's your wedding at the end of the day, therefore your choice! anyone who kicks off can pay for their own meal! xx
We are in the process of making a list atm; anyone we haven't seen/heard from in the last two years won't be getting an invite. I've already had people kicking off saying "what about xyz? They'd be upset to not get an invite" and I've just had to put my foot down and say no. We will be having only immediate family and friends at the ceremony and morning breakfast (around 50) and then about 110ish for the after do. We could have more, but we're mindful of the cost x
I am so glad me and my other half only have small family's and very close friends looking at round 40 for day do 🙈 x
Im inviting certain people and if others dont like it tough shit wd both have massive families and dont see or talk to half of them so there not invited
Don't worry about upsetting people...you will never keep everyone happy. Invite those you want to share the day with & who will want to be there with you. Are they wanting to help you celebrate or just there because they feel they should be?? My first wedding my mil insisted that people were invited that I hadn't met & even my husband hadn't seen them for years!
My second wedding we invited people we wanted to be there & share the day with. We had to be a bit ruthless due to number restrictions so we had to say to some to come without their kids (they were more than happy to have child free time!) There will always be some that can't make it so even if you over invite by a few, there will probably be a few that decline due to previous engagements, work, holidays....
We had to have immediate family for the day and then friends and cousins in the evening
We had to reduce our day list from 150 to 65 kids.
People we hardly see or have not had much contact with will be on our evening list only.
We are not even inviting some family members as we never see or speak to them. We don't care if it upsets folks. It's our day and we want people there celebrating with us, that are important in our every day life xx
It is hard and there will always be arguments. Me and my partner have agreed on just immediate family for the day. Friends and extended family come to the evening.
To keep numbers down @ the ceremony we're only inviting immediate family (parents siblings grandparents aunties uncles) & bridal party/best man. Cousins & friends r evening
We've decided immediate family, closest friends and the closet of cousins are invited to the day do. We are going to be inviting some aunts and uncles and not their children, also some cousins are going to be invited but not their parents, it's your choice, don't be guilt ridden into inviting people, it's your day!!
I said evening only to all of my cousin's and his. There was just too many! 21 cousin's plus partners plus kids. No one seemed upset. They all understood that we had a budget and a limit.
I've got 60 day time guests and 120 evening. Not inviting half my family as I don't even speak on a yearly basis! My wedding is about those in my life and that's it for us. I know it's different for others tho x
All the way through making our list we kept asking ourselves would we pay for a meal for this guest normally? You should have who you want on the day not who you 'should' have.
I've got a huge family most of whom I'm not close to at all, as has my fiance. We are only inviting people we are close to and regularly see. Our venue holds 70 people max in the day including kids so absolutely no one is being invited just for politeness sake if we aren't close.
We had to cut our list. We have over 30 cousins with partners and kids between me and my h2b so we invited them to the evening instead, physically couldn't afford to invite all of them for the day x
We are concentrating on immediate family and close friends that we regularly see x