How has everyone arranged the morning of their wedding? In my head I had it planned that myself and all my bridesmaids, my mum and my fiancé mum would get ready at my mums house and all the ushers would get ready at my house with my fiancé. After mentioning this My mum is now saying that I am selfish and a horrible person because I haven't included My sister in law in the morning of the wedding when her daughter will be with me and my brother with my fiancé. In my head I was thinking that she would like to go and have her hair done and get ready as my hairdresser says she has too many to do so can't fit her in. But now my brother is saying that he is going to be getting ready at home with his wife and child and meet us at the church. Am I been totally unreasonable in not wanting 16 people in the house the morning of my wedding as if I let her come I have to invite the other mums of the bridesmaid ( my sister in laws from the other side). My mum is now not talking to me other this and my fiancé is just wanting to cancel the wedding and go get married on the quiet. Advise please.
I think she's being selfish tbh, other people tend to forget it's your day, and only think about themselves, however she may feel left out or not want to get ready/arrive alone or without her daughter. Maybe allow her to come with her daughter but let her know shel have to get ready beforehand. Maybe think wether you'd be invited to join the day guests if it was the other way around etc xx
I totally understand where you are coming from and I agree with Jodie that she is being selfish but she may be feeling left out as she has to get ready etc on her own. Have a chat with her to see how she feels or if it is just your mum that is making a fuss for nothing x
I have two hairdressers coming as I didn't want anyone left out
That would be a hell of a lot of people getting ready in one room...it isn't selfish at all! The only people I'm having in the room getting ready with me are my mum, one of my aunties and my bridesmaids/bridesman...not even MIL to be or anything, I want as few people as possible to see me before I walk down the aisle and I don't like big crowds anyway. Just do what you want and ignore what others think
Really ??? Why is anyone making a problem of this ???
What about making this a time of relaxation for you, as you are most likely to be nervous enough !!! Do whatever MAKES YOU comfortable. Other people have to leave their ego's for another day x
Can't think of anything worse than having so many people around on the morning of my wedding!!!!!!!!
I think to many people try getting involved in your ideas! Stick to your guns! Dont let people get involved. We have said if people have any problems with our ideas then don't come.
I had my bridesmaids and my daughter with me at my dads house plus my friend who had come from London. We all got ready together then my dads gf come to take my daughter to the church. It should only really be bridal party I think, otherwise it becomes crowded and will be stressful xxx
Do it ur way the less people involved the less stress xx
I'm only having my mam and my daughter its my day I'm the one paying for it so I'm being the queen for the day. One day being all about us brides is not much to ask for. I'm paying for my bridesmaids hair and make-up but they are having that done somewhere different and meeting me at venue an hour before guests arrive x
16 people? How many bridesmaids are you having??? How about getting ready with your bridesmaids and letting your mum and mil get ready themselves. I only had my bridesmaid with me when I got married, and it was enough.
I stopped in the hotel the night before along with all my bridesmaids. I made them all stop in their own rooms and I got ready on my own. Stress and people fussing over me was not what I wanted. I was calm, relaxed and excited!!! Xxx
I'm sleeping at our house the night before my wedding with my 2 daughters who are my bridesmaids (they will 5&7) my mum and my sister who is my MOH, my h2b is staying at his mums with our son who is page boy, we'll have my photographer here the morning of my wedding for my bridal party photos so I don't want an over crowded house. X
One more person isn't going to make a difference surely? I'd feel a bit singled out if I where her to. I'd stick to just you and bridesmaids maybe x
I only had my 2 adult bridesmaids & my 2 daughters who were my flower girls & obviously the hairdresser & make up artist. And it was a lovely chilled morning & early afternoon with no rushing round without everyone getting under my feet. I think too many people will overwhelm you & stress you out. I just think bridesmaids should be with you & maybe your mum c
So your self your mum and your mil that's 3 so you have 13 bridesmaids ?! I think if you have that many bridesmaids I would tell them to get ready yourself and just have you your mum and mil all together
Why on earth would your Mum stop talking to you? On the day of my daughters wedding, her and her six bridesmaids got ready together getting hair & makeup done - went to see them all in the morning, leaving me plenty time to get ready - then was there at the venue to see everyone- get real its not about who's with who - just what "The Bride" wants! Good Luck!
Honestly I think if you're already having so many people one more can't hurt. Ultimately it isn't your house, so be a little flexible. Will it kill you to have her there? If so, maybe your mom has a point about you singling her out...
Immediate wedding party at the house was my rule, I got ready at my mums with my bridesmaids, mum, dad and brother, then my husband got ready at his best man's house with his other best man and the ushers - everyone else got ready elsewhere and met us at the church - the only exception I would make is if you have young bridesmaids who would want their mum there x
Go get married on the quiet. A lot less stressful, at the end of the day it's about you two not everyone else.
I had immediate wedding party only, so me, mum, dad and bridesmaid. Best man and groom got ready together and ushers met them at the church. I know everyone wants to be involved and not left out but wedding planning is so stressful that you don't want the morning to be stressful as well having people bussling around. Can she not get ready with your mum in law instead maybe, rather than mil getting ready with you? I can see how she may feel singled out if mil will be with you as well x
Your mum needs to give her head a wobble! I had me my mil and my step mum and bridesmaids with me while we got ready
I'm having me my 3 bridesmaids, (1 of which is my younger sister) 3 flower girls (my daughter my step daughter and my neice) my mum and my older sister who is doing our make up, and obviously my hair dresser and I'm stressing at having that many, have who you want there not who everyone else wants there, it's your day from start to finish no one else's (well except your h2b haha) x
This is why we are eloping! you can't please everyone and someone will always be moody over something so we aren't having any family, just 8 close friends. No-one other than our guests will know the date! Hope you can get it sorted and have a stress free day- your way!! Xx
That is way too many people!! I'm staying in a bnb I think cos out place is fairly out of the way. It will be me my 2 bridesmaids and probably my mum. Everyone else will meet us there. Even my dad! You'll have too much to think about to worry about all those people. I did it recently with my sisters wedding. There were only 7 people in the flat and I was stressed!!
I got married in Italy and chose a variation of the two cultures... I got ready at my sister in law's house along with my 2 bridesmaids, everyone else was left to do their own thing and then close people were welcome to visit during the morning. As I had a lot of people travelling long distances to be there, it was a nice local tradition I felt worked for me, letting them pass by without having too many people actually getting ready in the same space (I had 2 rooms for the day, so 1 was open to visitors and the other was a bit more private for doing my own make-up, actually getting dressed, etc.). I also had 2 very supportive families who were happy to help with anything I needed.
I ended up with my sister in law, nieces and nephew, my parents and sister, and a few good friends passing through during the morning, and my husband got ready at his parents' home along with his parents, his other sister, her husband and their baby daughter. Everyone else happily met us directly at the church.
If her child is there I would expect she would want to be and you would too as otherwise you will have to keep an eye on her. Also I doubt MIL will be with you as they generally arrive with the groom and get ready in the morning with the grooms party.
Stick to your guns, it gets ridiculously busy the closer it gets to the ceremony, most of the morning we had 9 people in the house, and that was more then enough, then the photographer and the driver arrived pushing it too 11 and then when it came to leave it was absolute chaos, when really you want five minutes to just be quiet and enjoy the peace ! X
I just had my two bridesmaids and mum! It was nice and relaxing, just what is needed before you head down the aisle.
Plan it how you want. I'm a nightmare,I'll be doing it mostly by myself
When I got married I had my then 3 year old niece as my bridesmaid and my sister in law to be dropped her off gave her a little talking to (tell he to be a good girl and all that) wished me luck and used the free time to get a few things done and get ready herself, she also helped my then future mother in law get ready as I only had my mum, gran, bridesmaids and page boy at my mums house. At the end of it all it is yours and your husband to bes day and what you guys want should go imo. Good luck xx
I only had my parents and bridesmaids at the house. One bridesmaid, my husband's sister, is seriously disabled, so her carers got her ready at the hotel and took her straight to the church. I don't think you're being unreasonable, if your brother and his wife and child decide to get ready separately as a result then let them, it's not your problem, and neither is your mum. You're not being horrible or selfish, it's your day.
I think it should only be you and those in the wedding party. Thats what i am doing! As everyone esle has said, its your day, so do it your way and thats all that matters! Good luck
Elope all day long
All I'm bothered about is where I'm getting ready. Stuff everyone else. Got too much to worry about
Your wedding, your plans. Everyone else needs to fall into place, and know their place! Xx
If i was you ide have them all at the house then sod of somewhere else to get ready so you can enjoy getting ready in peace thats all part of the fun have a great day
I'm just gonna say ur not being horrible or unreasonable its ur day it's ur choice what u do
Also can I ask everyone how maybe bridesmaids and all that they had/having at there wedding
Uninvite your mum. She sounds like a horrible individual.
I got ready on my own for my brother in law and didn't think a thing of it! And actually was able to enjoy it without running around after everyone else!
Stick to your guns, they're just being silly!
Have you spoken to the sister in law directly? It could be a case of your mum trying to be 'nice' but your sister in law doesn't care and would enjoy getting hair done etc and meeting later. If she does feel abit left out, You could invite her for the last half an hour for a Buck's Fizz and be in few photos but I don't think your being unreasonable. I will be having 11 at the venues dressing room but we are alternating people out and I have asked for just my bridesmaids for last hour. Goodluck xx
Sounds bizarre....only one bridesmaid my mum and dad my son and me were at my mums.....my other bridesmaids got ready at home ....my hubby and best man in a hotel and my page boy and flower girl with their mum and met us there x
Hi I think your Mum is wrong, your house will be full , speak to your brother about this if his family are ok with this then he should tell your Mother it was his choice. :)
Its onlybselfish if you invite other inlaws Nd not hed
On the other hand she should be able tomget ready with her daughter shes her mum at the end of the day but your day what younsay goes
Best thing is to have who you feel comfortable around - I got ready at my house and my HTB went to his best mans house the night before.
I had my sister and my niece who was my only bridesmaid.
We had our hair done and then they did my nails, decorated my car then we set off to the hotel in our shorts to get ready!
Once there, the three of us were joined by my nephews girlfriend who helped with makeup and my mum came up when they arrived.
Too many is nerve racking as they are bound to try to tell you what to do and you just need to do things at your own speed in your own order!
I'd cancel and bugger off somewhere quiet and get married. Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people x
F***! Really? Your mum isn't talking to you because your brothers wife can't get ready at her house on YOUR day! I agree with your fiancé run off and get married
Bridal party only. The more people that are in your space so to speak before your wedding, the more chaotic it will be.
My sister in law was my bridesmaid as was her three kids. My daughter and best friend. We all got ready together with my mum and my husbands mum in and out of the room. I wouldn't of had it any other way. My mum also tried to control certain aspects of how I imagined stuff in my head like she refused to come get my dress unless it was just me her my sister and daughter.. just do how you want to it it is your wedding after all xx
I had my bridesmaids and my mum, and hubby's mum getting ready together. My sister in law came over to where we were getting ready so my mum could do her hair for about 30 mins. Then she went back to the other house where my hubby, the groomsmen, my dad and the rest of our family were getting ready. My brother even turned up at one point in the morning, as did my auntie and uncle (they brought the flowers though) I think it's important to not stress about the small details, you have enough to worry about....as long as you concentrate on your hair and makeup and the bridesmaids, it shouldn't matter. In fact I hardly noticed what was going on, as I was more concerned with my nerves, and getting glammed up. But at the end of the day, it is your day. So essentially it's your decision. Xx