A week before my hen one of my bridesmaid has pulled out of coming because she has 'made other plans'. She has made a lot of people now out of pocket! My MIL also isn't coming (they are related). Do I have a right to be angry / should i demote her from being a bridesmaid.
We had same problem people letting us down its ur day u do what u feel is right x
I would be fuming your bridesmaid should most definitely cancel her other plans. If it were me I would demote her very rude and disrespectful x
If she isn't coming I think she demoted herself 🤣
Why has she cost people money ?
I'd be ****** fuming
I'd still make her pay. As it's not fair on other people otherwise.
Yep - demote!!!
I'd still make her pay, or hopefully she's already paid so don't refund her x
Definitely demote her, you've every right to be angry, it's one thing to say you can't make a hen do because of existing plans but it's another thing entirely to make new plans even though you've already agreed to go, especially as she's now cost people money! I'd sack her right off!
Id demote her too! If also ask for any money she should have paid!
Still make her pay she made a commitment
I'd make her pay anyway
It would depend on wether or not she is family or not as it might cause more problems to demoted her from being bridesmaid. But on the other hand if people is going to b out off pocket for the hen I would ask her to pay what she was ment to pay xx
I would demote and I would be fuming. I would also make her pay still so other people are not out of pocket x
Someone had to drop out of mine was more notice than a week and she found out she was pregnant so totally understandable. But when I told the booking they just took her off and she lost her deposit our amounts did go up but only £3 per person x
Hi has your bridesmaid paid anything towards the hen do if she has then she shouldn't get her money back. It is up to you if you don't want her as a bridesmaid is your H2B close with this family member :)
Cancelling a week before is unacceptable rudeness, it doesn't matter if she's a bridesmaid or a regular guest, if your other friends will now have to pay more out then that is not on. I would be suggesting to her that she should still be paying her share so it won't impact on your other guests. It's up to you if you demote her... although unless it's a funeral she is going to, I don't see what would be more important to her then her friends hen do. Unless she can't afford it now and is looking for another excuse to give you? X
As a bridesmaid she should want to be there and should have told her other plans no! Unless it's something disastrous but surly that would only happen last minute. I'd denote her! She doesn't sound like she cares much?
I would say that she had enough notice and that because she has pulled out last minute she still has to pay whatever to make sure no one else is out of pocket. I would also consider demoting her as she doesn't seem very reliable. Xx
She should pay. Not fair on others. Speak to ur OH but i'd b tempted to demote her. It clearly doesnt matter to her
Sounds dodgy that 2 have dropped out at last minute id say pay up and consider dropping if shes not being reasonable
I would be angry and well within your right to be!! They should still pay regardless as it's going to put others out of pocket. I'd be well annoyed
I would talk to her, she may have just found out that she is pregnant but it is too early to announce and not drinking would give it away xx
She's your bridesmaid and made other plans for the weekend of your hen do......she knew full well taking on the role of BM would include going on a hen weekend/do......unless there were exceptional circumstances etc......I'd be questioning whether she will actually turn up to your wedding!
I'd find out what the other plans are , there might be something behind it that's made this happen, for example she's found out she's pregnant therefore can't drink, she might have something personal going on that she hasn't wanted to go into detail about there for you need to be supportive in this instance, at the end of the day she's ur bridesmaid for a reason u wouldn't pick her to be bridesmaid if you didn't want her to be a big part of your day. If use have already all paid then just explain to her that it would put everyone's money up and see what she says she may offer not to have the money back or it may be a money problem in which case depending on how much it costs extra try and help out to give her it back by paying that wee bit extra if it's not a crazy amount of money or so that she can still go don't just jump to conclusions and demote her like a lot of people are saying. If it turns out there isn't a very valid reason like money or health or personal things that it's just literally a night out or sumin then tell her how u feel and take it from there xx
Very right to be angry!!
I'd be a bit annoyed but it'd be good to find out what the other plans are just in case it's something health related or a mental illness.
Good luck with your hen do and wedding. x
If she has cost you money then she needs to pay her part!
I'd make her pay her share but Demote her? Isn't she supposed to be your friend? Bridezilla or what
I pulled out of a hen do a few weeks before, my reason being were that I were pregnant, early days and I didn't want everyone to know. She were family, so by telling her everyone would have known at the Hen do, then possibly at the wedding. I ended up telling her the real reason as I felt awful, but I also didn't want to tell her to take her glory from her on her day too. I'd ask her what her plans were, as it may be something similar to that.
I think just invite someone else like a friend of a friend or friends relative to fill the spots you get on with and have a good time. Then have a quite word saying you feel hurt that they cancelled on you last minute and would like to know if they would still like to be involved. They are the ones missing out, they won't make or break your hen do by being there and you probably won't even remember in a few years that they weren't there. X
If she can't be bothered to come on your hen do I'd be wondering if she'll do the same for the wedding!! I'd hope bridesmaids would take part in all wedding activities tbh x
Tell her there's no refunds for cancellation so she still owes the money 👌 x
Wot are all these terms?? Bm/mil ect im new to this lol but she wud be gone if that was wedding xx
Send her a bill!!
Bridesmaids are chosen to support you not to let you down and stress you out. I'd sack her off!
You are all so self obsessed! Surely a friendship is worth more than your wedding? Seems I am in the minority on here!