UKbride Member Request 30 May 2017

My mother in law is planning to throw a party the day after our wedding. Her...

My mother in law is planning to throw a party the day after our wedding. Her initial intention of the day is to invite those who aren't invited to the actual wedding, as she feels they should be invited but we don't wish for them to be a part of our special day. She's decided to hire a marquee, have caterers, have a florist do the flowers, have a live musician for the day and then hire a band for the evening. She's planning on inviting the whole wedding guest list to her party. I feel really upset and quite angry that she's decided to throw what seems to be a second party as an extension of my wedding. I wouldn't mind if it were for close family and friends, and more of a casual party (not hiring caterers/band/florist!), and to expect the whole wedding list to attend (near 100) I feel she's trying to overtake my day. And to invite people that aren't invited is rather embarrassing, for her, I think. My fiancé and I aren't planning on being there as I'd rather rush off on our honeymoon than endure a 2nd day with the whole crowd. I would love for people to enjoy the day, and not feel it's 'gone on' for an extra day too long. I've spoken to her about my feelings, but she's assured me it won't be too much bother and people won't be too tired. I just feel it's too much! Please could I have your opinions on this and any advise you can give to try and stop this rather unnecessary continuation of our wedding. Thanks!

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 30 May 2017

Hi your future mother-in-law is not hijacking your day as this party follows it. If she wants to waste her money let her, just go on your honeymoon and have a great time. :)

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 30 May 2017

Hiya, you can make it clear to guests that you and your h2b are not going to be there. They can then make their minds up on if they will be too tired etc. At least they wont be disappointed that they don't get to see you 2 again x

Samantha Miller
Samantha Miller 30 May 2017

I would be surprised if many of the wedding guests actually feel like going. I know that after a wedding I'm usually to tired or hungover to do anything. I honestly wouldn't worry about it and like Lucy says if she wants to waste her money then that's her choice. Just enjoy your day and then your honeymoon x

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 31 May 2017

I would make it clear to your MIL and the guests that you will not be in attendance at this party and they will wonder what she is throwing a party for. If you were actually going to be there people may make the effort to turn up, but if you're not I imagine not many guests will actually want to go. Let your MIL waste her money if she isn't listening to you

Emma Carroll
Emma Carroll 31 May 2017

Think that is ludricous. She should listen to your wishes

UKbride Member 4 Jun 2017

Bloody awful ! You poor thing!! Words fail me! Bigging her part up stealing your thunder , i wouldnt go if i was invited! I think she just wanted to be a bride and centre of attention again! Selfish totally and utterly! People will think its another planned do for you then when you are not there will think theyve been duped to spending more money and time and effort!
Weddings in france go on for a week but they know that!!!

Just so unnecessary and heartless.


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