Heather Muirhead
Heather Muirhead 17 May 2017

Ive got some friends and family coming in the day but their partners only...

Ive got some friends and family coming in the day but their partners only coming in the night, how do i put this on the invitation?

36 Comments
Jayne Timmins
Jayne Timmins 17 May 2017

ooh I'm not sure, to be perfectly honest that sounds a little bit awkward. Maybe send them separate invites??

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 17 May 2017

Hi I agree with Jayne :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Send desperate invites also maybe explain to them you cannot invite them to day time if people you see regular

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I would send the invites with just their names on and a little slip inside saying that although you would have loved to invite everyone, restrictions on numbers has meant that only closest family and friends are being invited. I personally just invited everyone and their partners to save the awkwardness lol x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Send the partners a separate invitation so then there will be no confusion or awkwardness :) xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Put Day guest name on the main invite, and inside it enclose the evening invite with their name on it. Also I would maybe text the friend and just explain due to numbers their partners are invited to evening, and tell them that's why 2 different sets of invited are in post xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

We sent seperate invites as we simpley couldn't afford to invite everyone but still wanted them to come to the evening! But it still caused problems! Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Seems abit harsh to be honest with you I understand it's money and what ever else but I wouldn't attend if my partner wasn't either I get married in September and I wouldn't dream of doing this

Olivia Brown
Olivia Brown 17 May 2017

I must warn you it is considered rude to invite half a couple, particularly if they have been together a long time or are married. however, i understand costs and desire for a more intimate ceremony may be more important here. but just wanted to give you a friendly warning

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Personally, I think that's a little unfair and awkward if they're a well established couple. If my husband got invited to the day and myself just the evening, he probably would only go to the evening too. To save yourself trouble, and upset from others I would just invite them both, maybe just to the evening if you can't afford the day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Exceedingly rude. Tbh I wouldn't go to a wedding without my husband unless it was someone he had never met, work friends or gym friends etc, but even then the invite is normally addressed to both of us I just rsvp as only myself attending.

Amy B
Amy B 17 May 2017

I think there are some unnecessary comments on this thread. It depends, if you are talking 'boyfriends/girlfriends' then you can probably get away with it but 'husbands/wives' then i think that will cause problems. If it is a 'boyfriend/girlfriend' scenario then most people will understand, anyway. You could follow a pippa middleton "no ring no bring" approach to the ceremony

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I'd love to be invited to things on my own, I'm not physically attached to my husband! I'd do the 2 invites thing, and maybe an extra note saying you know it's not to everyone's tastes, but you're tied with numbers.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

This is so rude. If i had a wedding invite where my husband was only invited to the evening i wouldnt go. Just invite them to the evening.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I've invited 2 of my friends and their partners are only invited to the evening do, I have a package deal with my venue so can only invite 40 day guests and any extra I am charged for, our family take up the full 40 so I'm paying extra for my 2 friends, I can't afford to be forking out for their partners too, I've explained to my friends about the cost etc and they have been very understanding as to why we can't pay for their partners x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I'm having a small ceremony and can't extend invites to partners to the day. They are welcome to join us in the evening but if we don't know them well as a couple we shouldn't be forced to invite them. I'm really against having half the room full of strangers to such a personal day. People who think your rude not inviting partners shouldn't be so rude to expect them to be invited! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

This is an awkward one to be honest this has happened to me 3 times now either just me or just my partner to the day, it's a hard one and I think what it has to come down to is how well you know their other half , ie if you have any contact with them or not. I am also in a situation where I don't want one of my friends to bring their boyfriend at all but that's another story lol, I think if you know your friends and family well then just be honest, you can't please everyone, i agree with the sending separate invites ...... x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Hmm I'm not sure? Could you speak to them and say that you are sending the invite for them and partners are evening only so no name will be added! Or Maybe put like
Emma (day) & Andy (evening) or can you send a day to one and evening to other?
When my friend got married, we had our partners come in the evening and I'm sure the invite only said my name but obviously I told my partner to come in the evening as per their instruction? Or maybe separately add a note into the invitation saying 'partner to join you for the evening'. Sorry it's not much help? It's awkward when trying to sort invites.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

i would either put the main persons name on the main invite and an evening invite with the partners name... or i would put both names on the invite with a little note inside explaining the situation... in my opinion i feel that if it is a boyfriend/ girlfriend scenario then its fine to do this however if it is a husband/ wife that is being "split", this may cause issues... not only could they be offended but the transport to/ from the wedding for them could be a disruption and may cause more of an issue than is necessary. The main invitee may also decide just to attend at night to avoid any arguments etc... i can totally understand why you'd do it, but i'd just be prepared for some backlash on it... even if you plan it to a T, they could still take it the wrong way... especially if they've had a bad day (obv not your fault)... just use caution when doing it... good luck

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

We did this. But only with the couples whose other half we had never met. Prior to sending the invites I text them all telling them the situation and that we wanted an intimate and personal day with people we knew. We said that they would be invited after the wedding breakfast so they could spend the evening with their loved ones and we looked forward to seeing them there! Everyone was fine with this! We got married last Friday and it went perfectly! Don't worry about what anyone thinks. At the end of the day, it's your wedding! Any real friends will understand! xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Separate invitations are the best thing to do I think. But send together so the fully invited person doesn't assume their partner is invited and the partner doesn't feel completely left out :) x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I don't think this is unreasonable at all. I have already spoken to my friends about it. Basically, if we don't really know their other half then I have mentioned that they are welcome to attend the evening but will not be invited to the day/ sit down meal. I will just be addressing the invite to the person invited. My friends that I have spoken to have been fine with this. I have a lot of relatives/friends that I would love to invite to the entire day but can't due to cost. I have a big family so day numbers are already over 100 so I don't see why I would invite someone I don't know when I can't invite people I do know to the whole day. I think inviting them to the evening is very reasonable but I would speak to these people in person about it rather than putting it on the invite to explain the situation. If their partner doesn't know you or the groom very well then they should understand. My partner has attended a wedding without me before but I didn't know the bride or groom so I didn't mind at all.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I have done this with a few people. If we don't know the partners or they arnt close. We also have some children invited after the ceremony and the main meal. We are having an early wedding at 12 and a meal around 2.30 so they can join us for the outdoor games but we just didn't have the space at the meal. Everyone is quite happy with it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I put the name of the person and then 'plus' an evening guest. We limited partners in the day to either 1. People we knew well enough 2. Couples that had been in a long relationship. This upset a particular family member and caused trouble but at the end of the day it's your choice. I wasn't willing to have strangers at my wedding to suit others. More than welcome in the night time but to me daytime is for people who you care about xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Stevie Mould

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I talked face to face with the single invitees. They were more than happy to have a partner/kid free afternoon. Our evening doesn't start until 7 so I've said that people who have partners coming only to the evening are welcome to come at 5 instead. People, weirdly, are actually very understanding!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

At the end of the day it's your wedding invite who the hell you like if people don't like it then they don't come!!! Maybe write something like "we would love you to join us on our big day but restrictions apply - partners in the evening only!!" X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

I dont understand why people take issue with this at the end of the day it's their wedding they can invite whoever they want, the wedding is about them not your pals partner you've never met, personally I plan on doing this at my wedding in 2 years time, its my day noone else's.

Sian Lias
Sian Lias 17 May 2017

Chris Knott - this is quite interesting with how to overcome some of the discussions we've been having. Separate invites at the same time seems like a good idea and also to avoid confusion etc. Xx

Natalie Edmonds
Natalie Edmonds 17 May 2017

Send separate invites. Day ones to those that are invited to the day and evening ones to those invited on the evening. Failing that just have the conversation with them that their partners are very welcome but due to number restrictions only to the evening. I've had the same with a couple of mine and they've been perfectly understanding but I've been very up front. 😘 Hope it works out x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

When my friends have done it they have just spoken to us all, we understand - just be honest x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 May 2017

Send separate invitations. On the evening,you put both names

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 May 2017

I'm doing "no ring, no bring" too. It allows singletons to meet other singletons. Nobody wants expense of strangers & looking back at photos of a friend's ex (because they weren't a commited couple). Obviously a co-habiting couple, living as civil partners, would be looked upon as "a couple". I also have the venues specified limited numbers, so would rather have my own friends & family attend.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 May 2017

I have done this for some of our guests.. I previously spoke to the guests about the situation before even making the invites. I then added a little tag to the invitation saying 1 to the evening reception xx

UKbride Member 21 May 2017

Thats so not done, and so rude! If they are together unless there is a reason they cant come they should both be present all day.

Heather Lloyd
Heather Lloyd 31 May 2017

One thing I would recommend, think about distance and how easy it would be for them to arrive separately. I was on the receiving end of an invite like this once and I ended up not going to the day purely because my other half (now husband to be) wouldn't have been able to get there at all as it was about a 2 hour drive away (I'm the one that drives)

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