Looking for advice. My "dad" has never been a fully active part of my life,...

1) has your dad said sorry not being there if not it's up to him if he dose not want to be there just like your whole life
2) your mum's been there so she should be the one standby your side
3) you don't have to have a daughter and father dance have you got a father-in-law
It's your day you do what you wanna do and whoever wants to turn up have good day 😄

This is such a crappy feeling to have and an even worse predicament! I'm the same although not close with either of my parents but every one says I still have to do the "father walking me down the isle" thing! I was considering having my daughter do it or a close friend? Hopefully everything works out for you and just remember it's your day no one else's you do what makes you happy and if your father wants to be offended let him that's his issue 😘

Mother daughter dance! Your mum has raised you so she should have the honour of doing everything a father would have done! If your dad wants to be petty that's fine this is your day and let your mum enjoy it with you ️

If your close to people from his side, invite them, if your not, don't! And you don't have to have a father daughter dance or you could have a 'mother daughter dance' instead. Weddings are what you want not what a book says xx

Mum-daughter dance, yes invite dads family if you get on withem and want them there. Other close family members can do speech. Remember its yours and hubbys day, whatever makes you happy, theres no rules! Good luck!

I'd just have your mum do his roles she's done it all your life anyway, don't stress come the day you'll just be so excited to make the person you love your husband/wife x

I'm sorry you've had a poor relationship with your Dad. If he doesn't want to come, that's his choice. You've kept him in loop and explained your choices to him (which you didn't need to do). As for his sideof the family, invite who you want. It's your celebration. You decide who us lucky enough to share that day with you. I'm a Celebrant, and I'm always asked about protocol or etiquette. I always advise people to do what they feel right, not what'd expected of them. And doing something different doesn't mean it's wrong. I hope you have a fabulous day when it comes x

My dad came to my wedding but I still had my mum give me away, it's what I felt happiest with. Neither of my parents wanted to give a speech and we didn't dance either. My maid of honour said a few words after the best man.

My dad isn't invited to the wedding so will not be walking me down the aisle. I used O say when I got married ud have my mum walk me down the aisle, however my son is now 17 so decided he hold have the role in the wedding. It's you and your H2b's day so do what's right for yous not what others say is right

Men. We are having similar with my FIL. He was also supposed to be best man... bloody nightmare! In regards to the invites we have a rule. If you would normally buy them a birthday gift or would consider paying for their meal - invite them. If not either no invite or evening only. I would also invite your father even if he says no. At least you will
Always know you were the bigger person.
I just wouldn't have a father daughter dance - it's not necessary. And I would ask your mom to do the speech. But it's your day! So what makes you comfortable

I went to a wedding where MOB walked the bride down the aisle and did a speech. There was no dance though so don't worry about that. Also if you are close to that side of the family then still invite them they will understand the strained relationship between you and your dad as aunts and uncles would have seen it all throughout your life. Have the most magical day

Same thing happened to me. It didn't feel right to have him in that role and he decided not to come. Luckily I have an amazing step dad but otherwise I would've had my mum walk me down the aisle. I didn't do a father-daughter dance or an alternative because it wasn't really my thing. There are so many 'rules' when it comes to weddings, that you really don't have to take any notice of - it's your day so work with your partner to make it special for the both of you x

Personally I'm not having a father daughter dance, I couldn't think of anything worse. What's your relationship with your dads side? I would send them an invite out, as it's your dad in the wrong not his side of the family

It really depends on how you feel about your aunts and uncles on his side. Are you close with them? If you are then without question yes invite them. If not then don't. Weddings are so expensive and they are the best day of your life. You want to be surrounded by people you love. Why not have a mother daughter dance? If your mum is giving you away she is assuming the role of your father anyway? Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you. Go with your heart and have an amazing day. Xxx

Your day is about you... & Your hubby-to-be!
Invite who you want, have people there that feel right to have there, so if aunts/uncles/cousins have been a active role in your life even when your father wasn't then invite them. Or invite them to the evening celebrations.
I had my grandad walk me down the isle as I see him as a dad, my dad & his family have not been in my life since I was a baby. So my grandad walked me down the isle & we didn't so any father/daughter dance anyway (to be honest I didn't even think of this dance getting done!) but also the only speech we had was from my brother-in-law. It was a lovely speech & we didn't want a load of people standing to talk.
My husband's father has also never been a big role in his life, he got a invite & did turn up for the ceremony but then left before the evening celebrations. Families are awkward but just enjoy your day!

Invite who you like and do what you like! We had so many people/close family say they couldn't come which I was upset about to start with but on the day I didn't give anybody a second thought. My mum and maid of honour gave speeches. We didn't plan on having a father daughter dance but my step father was such a proud dad I requested his favourite song and we had a beautiful dance together. It will be the best day of your life who ever is or isn't there. You don't have to do things just because it's tradition. Do what you like and enjoy your day.

I didn't meet my dad til I was 27. We get on fine but I want my son to walk me down the aisle so that is what I will do. I haven't mentioned it to my dad yet but I would hope that he would be ok about it. There won't be any dance as we aren't having a disco.

My dad walked me down the aisle and made a speech, but dancing was for me and my husband :)

It's your wedding day, there's no rules. Forget what you feel 'should' be done. It's up to you. Invite the people who matter to you. Have speeches/don't have speeches, dance with your uncles cousins great auntie for all it matters- again, it's your day, it's not for anyone else to dictate what the 'rules' are.

My dad and I do not get along. My uncle (my mum's brother) will be walking me down the aisle and he'll do a speech. Won't do a father daughter dance. I have to say I haven't "planned my wedding around it". I've just planned my wedding. Only people on my dad's side that I've invited are my half brother and sister and their families. Your wedding so for one day be selfish and do what you want!

Huni my dads dead and i wish he could see me get married. But its your day do what you want. If he ain't bothered up till now then bollox to him. Its his loss. My ex wasn't apart of his daughters life and refused to go to her wedding because she was adopted by her mums husband. My exes daughter had a beautiful wedding but i couldn't go as my ex carted me off to spain. Your wedding your way. Good luck xxx

I would say invite who you want there - whether they are his relatives or not. If they have had a part in your life while growing up then invite them if you want them there. And anything that would have been for your dad to do, do with your mum - she is the one that has put in the love and effort. Mum and daughter dance would be awesome!!

My step dad gave me away as he raised me.

Im having my brother walk me down the aisle at my wedding as my dad has never been in my life. My brother will do all the "dad" stuff on my wedding day, give me away, speech, the dance, all the stuff a dad would be expected to do. Hope you enjoy your day when it comes x

My dad died before I get married and didn't have the chance to do any of this. Do what makes you happy. My brother gave me away and we had no speech or dance. People don't expect it anymore

Haven't been in the exact same situation, however I have a stepdad who's been in my life since I was 2 and a half year old and altho my dad's still been there we are always falling out and saying really unkind things to one another... We've been close however since I fell pregnant so I was put in a hard situation on who to ask to walk me down the Isle as I didn't want to upset either, however I decided to ask my dad as at the end of the day he's my biological dad and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him and my mam but I'm also going to have my stepdad sat at the top table with me instead of my mam (my mam is looking after my daughter so she's happy about this) and hopefully doing to have a dance with both my real dad and stepdad. I must say they don't get on very well so rather nervous about having them in the same room all day and night :/ xx

My mum gave me away
I danced with her to a classic, savage garden we used to sing full power ballard style in the car xxx

I haven't been on speaking terms with my dad for over a year and half now and my mum past away 4 years ago so I'm gonna have my eldest sister to walk me down the isle I unsure I'm even gonna invite my dad c

I'm just going through the begging stages off my Dad. We decided to not invite him (for everyone's sake) but he caught wind about us getting married as I we hadn't even told him and now he's begging, saying he's always loved me blah blah blah. My Mum has always been both parents to me so she's doing all the father of the bride bits. She's the only one who has the right to. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

Not the same as my dad has passed away but my daughters are going to do the father daughter dance with their dad and im going to dance with my sister to remember him.
Its your wedding you dont have to even do the dance. If i was you i wouldnt. Good luck x

Depends how close you are with aunts and uncles etc on his side, if you're close with them and want them there then why not? Father daughter dance doesn't have to be a thing, I don't know as I'll be having one and my dad will be a part of the wedding...you don't have to follow all traditions :)

Your mum can make a speech if she feels comfortable speaking in public. But you don't have to have a FOB speech. My dad didn't do one for any of mine and my sisters weddings because he's not happy speaking in public. It wasn't an issue for any of us and there wasn't any 'reaction' from guests either.
Father and daughter dance was the same basically. We didn't have one. And I know lots of people that haven't. You don't have to have these things if you can't / don't want to. Alternatively dance with your mum! Or a brother or close male family member.
Re inviting your paternal aunts and uncles ... if you're close to them and want them there then invite them. If you don't then don't. I expect they're aware of the relationship between you. If they choose not to come for whatever reason that's up to them.
Basically don't do things because you feel you 'have' to. But if something is important to you then do it and make it work in maybe a slightly different way. Make it unique! Good luck

I walked myself down the aisle, and my mom walked my little girl down. My mom made a little mother of the daughter speech before the groom, best man and bridesmaids. Then we had a first dance mash up of songs. If hasn't of done that was just going to invite wedding party to join us after half of the first dance.

My Dad left us when I was about 5yrs old. I saw him a few times but hardly ever so lost touch. My Step-Dad brought me up and I changed my name to his. He has passed away so won't be there for my special day. I am having my two brothers walk me down the aisle and they'll do a wee speech. There won't be a father-daughter dance. I'm having my Step-Dads ring wrapped into the flowers so he'll be with me while I walk down the aisle.
I'm inviting my "blood" father but just as a guest and nothing special and it's upto him if he comes or not. I'm not bothered if he's there but feel like I'm being the bigger person by inviting him.

My dad has never been a stable part of my life but I wanted the whole dad walking me down the Isle father daughter dance etc. Anyway everything was planned until the day before the wedding when the suit shop rang me to say he hadn't picked up his suit that was the first time I knew he wasn't coming. He didn't have the decency to tell me. So at the last minute I asked my mam to walk me down the Isle my father in law done a speech as did my grandma. And the Dj took it upon himself to arrange a mother daughter dance which was amazing! Not a dry eye in the room! The day was perfect and he wasn't missed. I hope everything works out for you and you have the most amazing day!

This happened to me as we'll dad didn't want to come so mum walked me down aisle, didnt do speeches (think they are too long and boring lol) and only dance i was actually bothered with was my 1st dance with my husband and day/night was perfect :) dont let it ruin your day do what you want xxxxx

Why don't you do a mother daughter dance and have your mum give a speech,exactly what a 'father' would do but your mother do it.
If you still speak to your fathers relatives I don't see why you can't invite them,your dad has decided not to come it's not like you haven't invited him

Your wedding, your day, your choice. The ones that matter will be there for you. Speeches aren't compulsory, nor is FIB dance. Be happy

It's your day! My mum passed away 8years ago and my dad 7months afterwards so I have other people who have played a massive part in my life with me on my big day- my dads cousin who I class as an "auntie" is walking me down the aisle & doing a speech. We aren't having a grand march & all that- just nice and simple!

My son walked me down the aisle, my mum did a speech and I just did a first dance. It was all perfect. Please remember your dad's loss, your day will be wonderful x

I'm currently in this situation.
My mum was always there my dad was not.
He's taking a huff after not being in my life he was expecting to walk me down the aisle.
He has threatened not to come and I'm not all that bothered.
My mum is doing the father of the Bride speech xx

My dad passed away and so my mum is giving me away and she is doing the speech. I've not been to a wedding where there has been a father daughter dance so I'd never even considered it. With regards to the extended family on your dads side, do you still see them? Do you talk to them? If the answer is yes then don't shut them out of your wedding just because your dad is being ridiculous. If the answer is no, then I would say don't invite them. Xxx

My dad and mom didn't come to my wedding and nor did my partners mom didn't effect our day at all so don't worry x

Personally I wouldn't invite anyone who isn't in our lives. Therefore, only invite his family members if they bother in your life. Just because he isn't going doesn't mean his family can't if you still talk to them.

My best friend is giving me away and I haven't invited my dad. Have around you whoever will make you feel good x

My parents broke up about 5 years ago and my Dad isn't coming to my wedding. My little brother's giving me away and therefore taking his place with all the other stuff, speeches, sitting at the top table, etc. I'm just skipping the father/daughter dance. Don't think it's really expected these days anyway. The day's about you and your partner! Try not to get caught up with all the other politics. X x

I think your mum walking you down the aisle is a wonderful idea, and a mother/daughter dance will be beautiful. If this is what you want, then do it!

Regarding family on your dads side, I suppose it depends on how close you are with them? Did they still keep in contact at birthdays and Christmas? If want them there, invite them. If not, don't. Xx

We didn't have a father daughter dance, I have only ever been to one wedding where they had this. I would also invited everyone regardless X

I've got my step dad doing it all as my real dad is not in my life at all and neither are his family xx

My dad disowned me 3-4yr ago & my fiancee doesn't get on with his dad either. So we're not having either father at wedding.. Those invited know the situation so not gonna let it affect our day.. Mum's are attending and can sit together should they feel like it.. Sounds like you need to do same.

My dad didn't come to my wedding because I asked my step dad to give me away! My aunties/uncles from his side still came! We didn't do father/daughter dance anyway as it's not our thing but he still did a speech and made a toast!

My brother give me away and I had a mother daughter dance to your simply the best. How close are u to the family? If your not close don't invite them. It's your wedding your choice. Good luck xx

Ive always said if i didnt have my dad it would be ny grandad walking me down the aisle or my mum or son. You dont have to keep it traditional. You can do a mother daughter dance instead. Theres loads of songs on youtube for that one. If you talk to them and they talk to you and have an interest in your life then invite them still.. they will either say yes or no. Just because they are "family" it doesnt mean you need to invite them. If i did that i'd near on 200 day guests instead of the 100 i've got it down to its a hard situation but it your wedding. So if you want ya mum.. you have ya mum. You want bob & harry instead of auntie trace & uncle jimmy you do that.

I'm in the exact same situation! My dad left when I was 2 we reconnected when I was 18 and he turned down our save the date without any explanation or even a message. He was never going to walk me down the aisle anyway he doesn't deserve that so instead I have my nan as the head of our family walking me down the aisle and doing the father of the bride speech. The father/daughter dance I'm thinking of having it with my new father in law as a token to him to say thank you and involve him in the wedding. You don't need to have your dad there doing all the important stuff see it as who is important to me in my life like my dad should've been and have those people. They will be more than over the moon to stand in for you! My nans very old fashioned and traditional but she jumped at the opportunity when I asked her to walk me down the aisle! Enjoy Hun and just remember all those who love and care about you will be there sharing with you your father doesn't matter or deserve to be there. Wishing you the best day!

Before my wedding, I hadn't seen/spoken to my "dad" for about 10 years, a couple of years before the big day we only got in touch due to my Grandma's health and after her funeral I haven't seen/spoken to him since. I still invited my Grandma's sisters and their daughters, he didn't get an invite. My Great Uncle gave me away & did the "father of the bride" speech but we didn't dance. Maybe your mum could do a "mother of the bride" speech for you? Just remember it's your & your other halves day & you can make it your own, do what makes you happy

I'm in a similar situation. My father re-married. Both my parents were coming to my wedding so to ensure my top table was equal I wanted my parents and my other half parents up there, however they would be separate due to my parents not being married. My mum would have sat next to my OH dad and my Dad would have sat next to my OH mum. According to wedding table etiquette this would have been the correct way.

Now because I didn't want my Dads new wife on the top table with us (I don't like her for one and I wanted my little nan to have someone to look after her during the meal and the speech)
My father decided that he will not come to my wedding at all.
He has done the same to my sister who is getting married in a few months.

Of course I'm upset but I won't let him ruin our big day.

My mum is walking me down the aisle and my brother is doing a speech on behalf of my fathers absence.

Just because your father has chosen to put himself first doesn't mean it has to ruin your special day honey.
You work around it and show him that his absence doesn't make a damn difference

Xx

My speak to my dad but dont see him as such he didnt come to my wedding and my mum gave me away. Didnt bother with a dance and mum gave a speech during the meal. I did invite his niece her partner and children (my cousin) and they came. No one really questioned it as it was my choice to have it this way xxx

My mum is doing all the things the father of the bride should do (as she has always done all my life) xxx

I hadn't had contact with my Dad for 8 years prior to my wedding... I was thinking about *possibly* contacting him when we got engaged but he died 3 weeks later.

Anyway. I asked my Godfather to walk me down the aisle. I had considered walking solo... I considered asking my best friend, partly as at the time she wasn't sold on the bridesmaid dresses! Ultimately i asked Andy, my Godfather because he was the only person there that had been close to my Dad so felt like a good person to fill that role.

So really... it's a very personal choice based on your personal feelings. Andy gave his own version of the "father of the bride" speech (I gave my own too!) and we had an unceremonious dance, plus the standard photo groups with him. I think they're important parts of the day to consider *whoever* you want to share them with you, in whatever way *you* feel is best. x

My htb threatened to walk me down the aisle to himself! My mum is walking me and making a speech, do what you think is right!

My parents separated when I was young.. teenager, couldn't decide between my parents and the only person who had been honest and stood by me no matter was was my sister! Best choice ever!! Xx

Neither of my parents will be at my wedding so I have asked my lovely brother in law to give me away x

My mother raised me from 4 years old, however she is a bit of a 'class clown' type so I could see her doing something to upstage me. My father is putting a fair bit of money towards my wedding but in consideration of both I will be walking solo, this I see as the best course of action as to either not offend either party and also not be upstaged by my "outrageous" mother

I never invited my father to my wedding, nor did I send invites to his side of the family.... as for father daughter dances I danced with with both my wife's dad and stepdad xxx

I have been lucky enough to have a fantastic step dad. So I asked him to do all the father daughter parts of the wedding.

I'd say ask your mum if she is happy to do it and you have that close bond. I would have been doing those things with my mum if I didn't have a step dad.

No I didn't invite any of that side of the family as I knew it would have caused problems but it's up to you xx

My mum walked both my sister's down the aisle and she will do the same for me and give a speech. Its about what YOU and your future husband/wife want do to. Sod everyone else!

My dad did come and we didn't do dad daughter dance. Just don't make a thing a bit itx

My sister had both our parents walk her down the aisle. It's your wedding, do what YOU want!! Your mum has been the one who was there for you, I think it's perfectly fine to have her walk you down the aisle. For the dance, you can have it with your mum, or another family member you are close with (brother, uncle, cousin, etc) or just not have it at all. Again, its your day, make it what you want, not what others think it should be. Hope that helps!