#MEMBERREQUEST - Sorry for the long message! I need some serious help. I...

My advice uninvite them all, it's your day! They are ruining it before its even happened, seriously it's not worth it they obviously don't care about your special day so why should they be a part of it

You get one day and one day only (most times) and it's your day, not theirs. I did everything I could to make sure I considered everyone and what they'd want on the day and regardless they all did what they wanted. i don't remember much of my day it flew by and mostly because i was worrying about everyone else. Tell her to be there or she's not a bridesmaid. Everyone else is playing their part and if she can't then can be a guest and sit with the others. That's it. it's not your MIL day either... don't even consult them. Be polite but be clear, the day is bigger than whether she has her nails done or feels comfy in her dress and unless she wants you to order the next size or send it back she will cooperate. End of.

I would stop messaging them .. if they really want to be part of your day they will ring you ... stop stressing because the important people will be there. It's so annoying that family members can act in such a selfish way .. good luck on your wedding

If it was me Im afraid it would be tough love. This is yours and your husbands special day! The one day it should be just about you two and what you want! I personally would say you come to the dress fitting 6 weeks before or I'm afraid she can't be a bridesmaid. Your mother in law should respect you and your future husbands wishes but equally let her wear what she wants. When you look back that won't even matter because it's about you two getting married and starting your very own family ️ as hard as it is I'd still k to your guns! Xxx

I would uninvite the whole lot. Tell them as they are so unhappy with your requests that you would prefer they stayed away.

I would tell you SIL not to bother coming it's not her day it's yours what's so wrong about getting a bigger size and then if she gets the weight off then you can get it taking in..

It's YOUR and ur h2b wedding not hers! Remember that....that people who love and care about you will be the ones that are there on the day! Whatever happens u will still marry? So I'd ask ur SIL to do one...u don't need stress! Good luck 😊

I've found that the closer it gets to your wedding, the more people will start to moan, want things to change, take over, make the day about them etc. and usually, no matter whose side of the family it is, the woman gets all the slack; trust me, I know. I know it's stressful and you want everything to be perfect (I was the same), but my one piece of advice is apart from you and your hubby, nothing else is important on the day. Just try and stay calm and tell your partner to talk to his family so it's one less thing for you to stress about x

It's your day I'd tell them to like it or lump it

How selfish of them. You seem to have been doing all the chasing. Speak to your other half about the stepping down and see what he says. If he agrees with you then ask her too. Why should you have more stress in your shoulder for a pampered powder puff girl that acts like a little flower girl making it about her.

Sounds like there's some underlying jealousy. I would try sending a handwritten letter to your future SIL explaining that you're trying your best to accommodate her but as nicely as you can, try to get her to look at the situation from your point of view. Planning a wedding is stressful & I expect she doesn't appreciate that. Sounds like you shouldn't have picked her as a bridesmaid but now that it's done, you'll have to do your best not to fall out forever over it. Good luck! I hope you can enjoy your special day.

Cancel her appointment then and save yourself some money, if she looks stupid that's her fault! I would just ignore the whole situation and enjoy your day. They are not worth your time and effort and certainly not worth getting yourself worked up over x

Leave her to it!!! Tell her she can go 4 weeks before but you won't be able to attend with her. If it doesn't fit and they can't fix it then it's her problem, not yours, she's the one that has to try and squeeze into a too-small dress on the day, not you! If she doesn't go to the trial and her hair and makeup don't look at nice as they could, she's the one that has to look like it all day. I wouldn't put myself through the stress of it all if they're just going to be difficult, if it's not stopping you doing any of the things you want then just let them get on with it. 2 of my bridesmaids are having their hair and makeup done elsewhere, 1 is doing her own and the other is just having her hair done. They've all taken their own dresses to get them altered wherever they like so if they don't fit right it's them that has to deal with it, I'll be too busy on the day to worry about all that. As for the shoes, if you're paying for them I'd tell her a price and if she doesn't like it, she either buys her own, goes barefoot or doesn't be a bridesmaid, if any of mine had said that to me they'd have been told I wasn't having them as a bridesmaid. It's your day, not theirs, I think I'd tell them all where they could shove it personally!! xx

I think all uninviting them would do is aggregate things further.

Best thing to do - let it go over your head. It really doesn't matter what colour or clothes people wear. You're marrying the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. All this is small secondary stuff. Not worth falling out with family over.

Sounds like she is very used to getting her own way and for once you're saying no to her!! We had something similar but you have to stick with what you want as it's your day not theirs. I'd stop making the effort to involve them n just do what you're doing. If she doesn't want to get her nails done there, fine. If the dress doesn't fit then she isn't a bridesmaid. Don't stress yourself about it anymore you have enough to think about xx

First of all, it's no one's special day except yours and your fiance. You don't have to give it to what anyone else wants, this is the one day you get to have exactly as you like.

On the subject of your sister in law - let her get on with it however she wants. If she doesn't want her nails done with you, fine- she can be the one who misses out on all the fun and I'm sure you won't miss her.
If she wants her dress fitted 4 weeks before, fine - let her leave it until then and it possibly not fit and then let her worry about what she's going to do about it. That's not a problem you should have to worry about or fix. She should have to pay for and have to sort out any further alterations. As the bride, you've got enough other stuff to worry about with 4 weeks to go.
And make her buy her own flipping shoes!!

Be strong. It's your day, not hers. She doesn't get to dictate your day. Let her do this bit her way - you'll soon see the satisfaction of seeing that your way would have been better. Try to just let it all go and not let it get to you. She sounds like she's not a team player at all so since she'd rather do things her way, let her do what she wants and deal with the consequences by herself.

If she's too fat to fit in the size frock she wants that's not your problem. Bridesmaids arnt a necessity. Maybe get your H2B to suggest to her that it may be in her best interests to find herself a back up wedding outfit to come along as a regular guest (not all girls want to be bridesmaids and get stressed out at the concept)

Personally I'd tell the SIL that u don't want her as bridesmaid if she's being such a unco-operative, unhelpful, nasty piece of work. If she doesn't want to go on the date you've planned for dress fitting and have her nails etc done with everyone else, why would u want her to play such a big part in your special day. As for what the future in laws say.. it's not your SILs big day it's YOURs and your Fiancées. Your SIL is only thinking of herself and that's not right or fair. Hope you get it all sorted and have a lovely day. Don't let a lil madam ruin it for you. X

If you're paying, get the dress exchanged! No way do you want to be lumbered with a dress that won't fit!

Why is the mil saying it's also the sil day aswel. I am sure your marrying her brother not her. I would just ignore them they will have to either ring/text you or partner to find out what's going on and where they have to b on certain days and times. Enjoy the rest of your time b4 your big day and don't let people put u down or get stressed as on your day everyone will have eyes on you and your new husband!! X

I wouldn't uninvite them, but I would say, "these are the plans/appts and if you can't manage them, then - with the greatest respect - that's your responsibility". If their dresses don't match or fit, that's their problem, not yours. Nobody will care - all the guests are there to see you and your husband. Please let it go. Enjoy your day and ignore their childish behaviour. Be the adult. You will have the most amazing day, despite them.

It's your big day and if there not happy tell them they can wear what they like but they will just be guests not part of the wedding party they are not doing as you ask so they will probably own more drama and you will all fall out x

I'd have told her to do one by now.

I would call the shop and see if you can order the next size up without telling her!

Whatever you do, I would make sure your H2B is fully on board as anything hardline might risk alienating them, it's his family so he needs to be prepared for any consequences. You should have the wedding you both dream of, and no-one should get in the way. If he's prepared to risk the fall out then I would tell her to step down, sooner rather than later, to give her chance to accept your decision. You both have to be ready for them to threaten not to come though & if they don't then can you really call them family?! I hope you get it sorted xx

I'm sorry i can't get over the "it's her big day too" bit. It's so difficult when it's in-laws, you really only have three options, grin and bare it, talk with them and tell them that it's not acceptable to act like this and if they're truly happy for you and care about their son they'll stop acting like todlers or uninvite them. Personally I'd try talking to them, get to the bottom of why they're being so childish and insensitive. Is you sister in-law single? There could be abit of jealousy and bitterness.

Is your sis in law a bridesmaid I take it? If so get shot of her lol anyone who's making it difficult for you doesn't really need to be part of it.. sister or not x

I think as a mark of respect to you both for having her as a bridesmaid she should make every effort to do as you request. If she refuses then get he'd the bigger dress or make a tough call and tell her your sorry but you have decided to no longer have her as a bridesmaid. 4 weeks will not make much difference in size if its already tight unless she does something drastic in her dieting. Why is it also her big day? It is your big special day not the attendants or in laws or guest just ypu and your husband. I think your partner needs to have a word with them.

I would order the larger dress without telling her, it's easier to take in a dress than extend it. If the did extend it it may look odd. Sounds like your SIL is being a spoilt brat. It's not about her. Put your foot down and if she doesn't want to join you in getting ready the night before, then stuff her. Let her be miserable, she'll look the moody one on the day no matter what you do! Best of luck and try not to stress! x

Your in laws sound like very selfish people!!! And it sounds like your sister in law doesn't even deserve to be part of your wedding party!! I'd tell her that she can either cooperate or she can come to the wedding as a guest not a bridesmaid

Try not to stress as it will ruin the exciting lead up to the wedding and all of the fun bits like the make up trial etc. I would just say leave it to her, if her dress doesn't fit she will have to step down and that will be her own fault. Definitely get your fiancé to agree with you before you say anything but it's your day. I have immediate family not invited to my wedding because I don't like them....my family got over it and now everything is great. Sometimes you need to put your foot down and let people know that this one day is yours and you will not be upstaged by your SIL being a brat! Good luck Hun xx

I would stop running around after them, they seem to be enjoying it. Send one more message to SIL saying these are the dates, everyone else is coming and you've got enough to do 4 weeks before the wedding than tk drive to another fitting so she will have to go alone that is if she wants her dress to fit

It's a real shame they're putting this pressure on you. It's COMPLETELY unacceptable of them imo and an utter joke. Personally I'd just tell her to do one and tell her (not ask) that she's not longer a bridesmaid. It's YOUR day, and stupid that they're saying you need to consider her wishes! You don't need the stress and you're doing all you can to accommodate them all. I hope it all sorts itself out for you and you have a great day in August

Don't pander to her every wish! If she doesn't show and the dress doesn't fit she ain't a bridesmaid simple! She won't have a dress... problem solved!

This is 110% not acceptable at all. They are making it out like she is the bride rather than you which really isn't fair to you or your H2B especially as he is their son.
You need to speak to them all and point blank explain the day is about you as a couple not anyone else. Speak to his parents first and explain they have hurt you both and what is meant to be a very special day is turning into a nightmare. Then sit down with SIL ask if she really does want to be a bridesmaid and ask why she has been so difficult, you have more than enough changes you don't need to make anymore she does. Anyone given a special role should be honored. She will have her own wedding one day and if she doesn't buck up her ideas I would say you will be returning the favour and behave the way she has.

She's be out and if that caused a fallout then tough. They sound horrendous!

It is YOUR wedding and what you say goes. If she is unwilling to budge then ditch her as a bridesmaid. Bridesmaids are there to HELP you during this time, not make it more difficult!

Errr, WTAF?! It is not her big day. She is a fucking wallflower in comparison to you on the day. She needs to get in line. Let your H2B sort them out (or kick them out!). Good luck, you don't need this shit from them.

Ditch her. You don't need the stress x

It doesn't matter if she's your h2bs sister, this behaviour is brattish and spoilt, her parents allowing her to do this is just making her feeling more vindicated in her behaviour. It sounds like it's time for a serious face to face talk with his parents and sister to straighten out the issues, as they clearly also have some - it's not her big day in anyway shape or form, the wedding wouldn't be cancelled if she didn't turn up!
My MIL and 3SILs didn't turn up on our big day because of their own issues, yes it hurt my husbands feelings at the time but we still had an amazing wedding which is what you will remember xxx

I would say I've tried my best to cater to your needs but I don't have the time to put any more effort in . If the dress doesn't fit she will just have to deal with it or come to the dress fitting on the day I have chosen it's just one day of her life . She either joins in with the bridesmaid activities and continues to be a bridesmaid or she doesn't and can no longer be apart of the wedding party . I've really tried and can't do anymore I hope she considers that this is the most special day of her brothers and my life and would love her to be apart of it with a smile on her face

I'd ask tell her to fall in line with YOUR big day because it is definitely not her big day and if it's too much trouble don't bother at all .... and if the other in laws want to take sides so be it ... it'll be cheaper on meals anyway

I'd be tempted to tell them not to bother coming at all. It seems as they're doing anything & everything to make it difficult for you x

I agree a bit of tough love might be needed - order the next size up and tell her you will take it in if it's too big - as someone else said that's much easier than letting a dress out! The other thing is make sure your husband to be is on board and supporting you with this - it's his family and his wedding too so don't shoulder all the responsibility. And just try to ignore them and enjoy your day - because it's yours and his, no one else's, no matter what your mother in law says!

100% ditch the bitch !

She is my age and acting like a pathetic spoilt child and her parents are allowing it ?! If that was my child I'd tell her straight it isn't her day so get in line or sod off.

Perhaps get somebody more deserving to fill her dress for the day, or if not publicly list the dress for sale on Facebook and shame her !

Behaviour like that needs to be nipped in the bud before your married x

No offence but why are you going to so much trouble for them all? I'd just say to the SIL that she can now sort the dress herself-if it doesn't fit on the day that's her problem, leave the parents alone they obviously don't care about their sons wishes or yours so just tell them where he wedding is and if they're there great if not it's their tough luck! They're missing out at the end of the day. Let the SIL pay for her own nails etc-I don't mean to sound rude to you or anybody in similar situation but you need to stand up for yourself and stop bowing down to their demands-it seems like you'll never win so stop bothering.

You and ur h2b seem to be on the same wavelength, so get him to deal with his family, and if he agrees ditch the sil2b neither of ya need the stress at this moment. Also u don't have to have many picture with them in!!

Its a difficult as a MOB who still believes a shop sold us a bigger dress than my daughter needed and then recommend one of their seamstress to alter it and bridesmaids dresses for 7ft giants! Then I am afraid arguements comes part of the wedding package. It's your day and your hubby to be's so do what is in your heart. If they don't come it will be their loss. But don't get torn between arguments as it will ruin your day. Hope it gets sorted soon

Please put yourself first, if they are like this now, they will be a nightmare on your wedding day! Make sure everything is perfect for you and hubby to be... Enjoy your very special day x

1. Your SIL sounds like a selfish spoilt brat and 2. Forget all the hassle, go abroad just you and your h2b and get married there, from experience, less family = less drama!

if it was me i would un invite them all, sounds like a lovely familt your marrying into, it should be the happiest day of your life not the worse. sorry if this sounds harsh. hope all works out ok & you both have a beautiful day to remember.x

I would just say that if she isn't going to work with you she won't be part of the bridal party - who the heck do these people think they are?!

Totally unacceptable, I would leave her to it and then when she can't fit into her dress 4 weeks before she can pay for the alterations! They're all behaving like children to be honest and you deserve better. For them to say it's your sister In laws big day too is bang out of order...it's yours and htbs big day, no one else's!!! I would cease trying to involve them and just enjoy the time with your friends...they've had plenty of chances to get involved, if they're going to act like kids let them strop off and regret it down the line because no doubt they will!

In my opinion if family members are going to be this difficult tell them not to come, it's not worth it.
I must be extremely lucky with my in laws as they treat me like a daughter and are 100% supportive with everything I do. But, if they weren't, I wold have no problem telling them where to go!
It's YOUR wedding so if they won't cooperate it's them missing out!! Don't put yourself under added unnecessary stress x

It's your day! How very inconsiderate of them .If this was me in that situation I'd uninvite her you don't need the stress. Just remember that it's yours and your h2b special day x

Excuse my language I'd tell the sil to f..k right off
& don't bother coming if it was me!

Say bye bye, she is acting like a 6 year old not 26. Talk to your h2b and see if he would mind her just being a guest instead of bridesmaid. It is not her big day either, its yours and your h2bs xx

Do nothing. If she wants to wait until 4 weeks before let her. If it doesn't fit she will have to get the changes made herself. If she doesn't and it doesn't fit what have you lost? An un cooperative bridesmaid. That sounds like a win, win to me.
That way you have the people you actually want rather than feel obliged to have. Just say Ok, I will leave it to you to sort.
X

Personally if I was in this situation, I would cancel the beauty appointments your SIL does not want to attend with you (or at least her bit), if she wants to miss out on this, it won't be your issue. I would also advise that she can get her dress altered at 4 weeks if she wants but that you won't be attending this appointment as you had scheduled it in to be at 6 weeks. If it doesn't fit that's not your issue at this point. If she gets stressy, calmly advise that you arranged appointments which she did not want to attend but as you have had to plan a whole wedding, you're not going to pick this up with a couple of weeks to go.

Don't stress about it. Leave them to their bickering. Enjoy your day xxx

I'd say send the dress back and get the next size up anyway. If it's likely to need adjustments either way, it'll be much easier to bring it in then to try and take it out!

If that was happening to me then I would just dump her as a bridesmaid the hassle isn't worth it , it's urs and ur h2b day no one else's and if the in laws say they won't go chances r they will but if they don't then ur better off without them hun xxx

Leave her to it! Tell her if it doesn't fit now it is less likely to fit 4 weeks away and if she doesn't fit the dress she can just come as a normal guest! Harsh but fair I think! Also if its a long dress tell her to buy the shoes herself! I personally am not bothered what shoes my bridesmaids wear under the dress. I can't see them! Also why do you need to be there for the alterations? Just send her the dress! Shes 26 i am sure she can figure it out and if she cant her parents obviously can.

Why are you worrying and fussing and stressing yourself out over outfits and colours? If they don't participate it'll be their loss, if they don't fit in they'll look stupid, if they don't show up to your fittings it's their loss.
Relax, sit back, chill. You're wedding day is to marry to man you love, not to stress over what others are wearing. Leave them to their own devices and failures, they'll regret it in the end.

If the dress doesn't fit it is her own fault! Let her get on with it!!!!! Mardy cow 😂

sounds like H2B is supporting you which is great. Tell them these are the arrangements re fitting, nails etc. If you don't want to be included in these dates let me know so I can cancel your appointments and we'll see you on the day at (whatever time). Time to stop letting them stress you out. Your Day, Your Way

This sounds like jealousy and attention seeking

I would get your h2b to tell them all to behave like adults and give his sister the choice of sorting her own dress and shoes out and then it's her fault if she looks fat in her dress

As for the appts, you will have a much better time if the brat isn't there, enjoy your day

I would let them get on with it, you have enough to organise and worry about. If the SIL turns up in a dress that doesn't fit then that's her problem. She sounds very spoilt for a 26 year old, more like 6! Sorry but I think i'd be hoping they don't bother to turn up at all!!!!

I would leave her to it! To be 100% honest I actually would stop contacting her after you've told her dates ect....its her choice to be there or not! Iv been a really laid back b2b and pretty much said to all my bridal party family and guests they can wear what they want and luckily iv had no back lash from it! But if that was my bridesmaid acting like that I wouldn't be contacting them at all and leave them to worry about whether they can come to the wedding or not! At the end of the day it's your and your h2b day and no one else really matters! If you guys are happy and have YOUR day the way you want it...really what else matters? Don't let her ruin your experience of being a bride! Other option...go bridezilla on their ass's and tell them what for! Hope you get it sorted and have a great day when it comes

Agree with Rebecca, let her do things off her own back cancel everything you have booked for her. She needs to grow up n act like a 26 year old not like a 3 year old!! I would personally tell her she is no longer involved in the wedding party, or maybe doing what she is doing may be her way of saying she doesn't want to be!!

Ignore what she says, send dress back and order 2 sizes bigger. It is easier to take a dress in than let it out. Or tell her that she either acts like a member of the bridal party or she isn't being a bridesmaid simple as. I lost a bridesmaid over the choice of dresses. Tough. My day. My rules.

I say let her wear it as it is then when it splits and shows her naked in front of everyone you will have your own back ahhaha

To be honest I'd just ask my h2b to tell this sister and his parents that's it's causing unnecessary stress and ridiculous money that you don't have to spare, and that the shoes and the dress and being sent back and that sil is welcome as a guest! Nip this bollocks in the bud, if he's family decide to be a nightmare and threaten not to come let them crack on! It's not your problem, don't entertain the insanity that follows them. Good luck! X

Go with your H2B

Ditch her!! Would I he'll be having this stress...if your hubby to be is in agreement that they are causing aggro and he doesn't want her to be a bridesmaid then drop her....if it causes drama then that's their issue not yours. Xx

Your wedding so you decide what you want. Sounds like an awful.lot of stress that you don't need. If they are capable of this on the run up to the day can you be confident there won't be a drama on the your special day? Go with your gut instinct and do what you want and that will ensure you and your fiance have a day to remember for the right reasons and not months full of stress and worry. Sit them down talk it through explain how your feeling and see their reaction they may have not realised how stressful they are making it for you if they have not had to plan a wedding themselves. If nothing changes after the heart to heart chat then reevaluate and decide what you need to do to ensure you have the best day. Good luck x

I would tell them to do what they want and you and your HB2B focus on you two, I understand it can be hard to not invite people I myself haven't invited my grandparents to my own wedding but sometimes you just have to kick negative people to the side and tell them to get lost. Your partner also seems to understand so I don't think he'd have an issue just telling them not to come.

It's your day pick someone else x

I agree with a lot of the other comments, it's your day (not theirs! How dare they even say that to you!), I would leave it to them, not attend her fitting 4 weeks before as you are way to busy with others things, and issue an ultimatum and say if the dress doesn't fit her on the day then she is not part of the bridal party. Cancel any appointment you have made on her behalf and she can pay for her own treatments. Not a lot you can do about the MIL outfit unfortunately but do not allow yourself to be bullied by them! It helps that you have your H2B on your side, both of you need to put your foot down and say it's my way or the highway!

Sounds like she is jealous for some reason. Personally I would ring her from withheld number and just tell her that you have reconsidered and that you don't feel having her as BM is viable any longer. Then I would back that up with a text, and also text the parents in law and tell them that you are no longer having her as part of wedding xx

Ur wedding ur way. U have booked the appointments and if u have other BMs I would imagine they have made arrangements to be where they r needed and when. Do what u need to plan and make sure the shop know that if u r not there to confirm the alterations then they r not to go ahead then let her do what she wants as long as she isn't on holiday at the time u r going then tough it's her choice

If it was me I'd tell her she wasn't a bridesmaid anymore. It's your wedding and it's suppose to be stress free and fun otherwise what's the point.

I would say take her out of the wedding party. If she can't be happy for you both then sod her!!!! Also sounds like she is jealous and wants to be centre of attention

This is so horrible to read that I just want to send you a hug. Really. Just have a hug from a stranger.

Stick to your *own* plans. Make sure you've got support and backup from your husband to be. Do what you both want *together* and to hell with anyone else.
It is just a day... But it is *your* day. If someone ends up upset over a manicure or how fat they allow themselves to get on holiday, or even being demoted when it comes to it... they will get over it. It's just a day.

But don't forget.... *your* day.
Good luck! x

OMG WTF.... poor you its your and your H2B day... your in laws sound like complete nightmares.... do what u feels best but I would certainly consider choosing new BM.

It all sounds horrible and it shouldn't be so stressful. Do what u have to do, it's yours and your fiancé day. We all know how wedding are expensive, it's u that's got to pay for it. Do what u feel is right even if u lose a bridesmaid, I know it's hard I've lost a bridesmaid myself through different circumstances. Good luck guys and be happy

It is yours and your H2B special day. Leave her to it. She sounds like shes being a spoilt brat! And for your FIL 2B saying you should drive 4 hours to suit your SIL 2B ... screw that! Weddings are stressful as it is and even more stressful when people like the in laws cause extra stress.

Dresses are easier to take in than take out! It would be better for her to get a bigger dress and then that way it can be taken in! Not all dresses will have extra material to take out xx

Lots of already good advice on here. The less stressful way is obviously let her get on with it and she can lump it all day with what she ends up with. If she decides not to wear the dress, then put her at the back of all photos, won't spoil it all then. The stress really isn't worth it beforehand, you have enough to deal with rather than a stroppy guest. Personally, if it was me, and I never do anything easy, I would tell her where to go and the in laws. 26 years old and its her big day, sorry, I didn't realise you were attending her big day. But then, I very quickly adopted the attitude as its my day, get used to what I want, if you won't go along with it then you were not welcome. But then again I had very little hassle with my day. Good luck!

Dudeeeee. Seriously f**k that. They are all being absolutely awefull. It's about them not you. Just leave it be. Don't text. Don't get in touch. When she's too fat to fit into her dress she automatically won't be a bridesmaid. Simple. It's your day. YOUR DAY. Buy her a pair of stilettos and tell her to ram them! Can't believe how selfish people can be. Chin up chest out shoulders back and be a BOSS!

Run away to the Maldives. Hope it all turns out for you . Would be dreadful. To have a miserable wedding day so do what you and your Hsb want xx

Selfish bitch, it's not her day at all....! Don't stress about it, if she's not doing what your asking then tell her to don't bother being a bridesmaid!! End of if the parents were any sort of parents they would still come to ur wedding

Tell them all to do one and enjoy your day without them! Selfish fuckers!!

Dannielle Ward... im pretty sure you will say the same as me...
They all need to be told to fuck right off

Tell her to get stuffed it's ur day not hers if she doesn't do what u have asked then she steps down as bridesmaid .if it was me I'd tell her to step down anyway and if the rest of them kicked off I'd tell them if they don't like it they don't have to come .and as for the mil picking a colour to clash just make sure she's not in a lot of the photos especially ones that will be on show

Tell her to hop it and she can get it all done herself at her own cost. You've tried, her choice. It's your day, don't let them spoil it! You MIL will look like an obvious monster in law, so don't worry!!

Edit: Wow. Talk about trying to take over someone's big day. It is nothing to do with her so not 'her day' at all!!!!! Why would it be a big thing for her?? Seriously, just leave them to it and do everything else that's needs doing, they can finance their own choices!

Hi
It seems that your In laws to be are been very difficult and I'm glad your h2b is annoyed with them I'd not worry over the nails and hair it's her loss and to be honest in a couple of years the only picture you'll look at is the one of you and your husband. Get you husband to tell his sister either to go with you to the fitting or she can go alone to get any adjustments made. This is your day enjoy it .

Tell them they're all being unreasonable and unless they change their train of thought they are not welcome .its your big day and your h2b 's day. Do what makes the pair of you happy .His family just being bloody minded by sounds of things. Xx

Oh my life my advice stop stressing it's your day you are getting married because you want to be together let your MIL wear whatever she wants who cares and for your SIL if she doesn't go to the fitting she will stoopid if the dress is too small. Trust me as soon as they see their antics are not upsetting you in the slightest they will stop. Stop stressing now start to enjoy it so long as you and your H2B look good who cares about anyone else xxx

Does she really have to be your bridesmaid? Do you really want a sour face standing next to you in the photos?

If i were you id wash my hands of their drama...this day is about YOU not them...if you SIL2B wont come to the dress fitting YOU have scheduled then let her get it fitted alone and let her pay for it...she chose to exclude herself and she cant have it both ways...i get shes got a holiday and wants to pig out if thats the case she gets the bigger dress...if she chooses not to and cannot fit in it then she doesnt wear it and steps down as bridesmaid End of simple as that...if you MIL2B wants to stand out...let her infact help her make a point of calling her colours out on the day...not in a horrible way just when u talk to her or others say things like..its alright at least we wont loose u...at least u cant himd in the photos so get that smile perfect darling coz no one will miss u out in the pics in those colours....or u look beautiful u really stand out like a fig amongst apples...things which have a edge to draw attention but nothing to snotty...otherwise plan your day and have a ball doin it. Go to the fittings with YOUR girls...go get your make up and nails done and empty ur head of them. Then look beautiful walk towards your man and your future say i do and live YOUR lives YOUR way together ..best of luck. Be happy xxx

Ypu know if it was me they would not be involved then ..if they can't come to fittings etc then don't be bridesmaid x

The comment about it being "her big day too" really infuriates me!! It is your big day not hers!!!
I'd tell her she's not invited anymore! She doesn't deserve to be at your wedding let alone be a bridesmaid if that's her attitude. I'm glad your h2b can see how ridiculous and irrational she and her parents are being. Remember that the wedding is about you and your husband, no one else. You are the most important people, anyone else attending is just a plus.

I'd tell her to do one! It's your day and your rules. She either participates your way or she doesn't come. Simples!

I'd just cut them all out less money to spend and save the stress I had a issue with Mil not wanting to be colour scheme and not wanting her hair done left her to it and I'm gonna tell photographer to do minimal photos of her lol x

I had issues with some of my own family and was at the point I was arranging everything around them, they still weren't happy and never even bothered to turn up because they didn't feel I'd made any effort on their behalf! I regret not putting myself and my husband first and not doing our wedding the way we wanted to. You can't please people like that and I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. It's YOUR day, not hers. Leave her to sort herself out and just focus on yourself and your H2B. That's what's important. Weddings are stressful enough without having to deal with tantrums from spoilt people.
I understand how difficult the position you have been put in, I hope you have a wonderful day whatever happens xxx

I would stop trying to please them tell them when the dress fitting and trials are and say if she can't attend she will have to arrange her own and pay for it herself! You have enough stress don't bend over backwards 2 please awkward people x

Amber Wilson

Give her an ultimatum, if she wants to be a bridesmaid and be involved then she participates if she doesn't then tell her she's welcome to come as a guest then she can wear what she wants and have her nails and hair done how she wants. Sounds like you would have H2Bs support too! It's your day don't let her ruin it!x

Its not her day its yours tell her she's out if they don't come their loss

Sack her. She's going to be miserable no matter what so make it easier on yourself

I get it. My SIL and her hubby haven't been very considerate either and for my H2B she's a bridesmaid and after the stuff they've pulled so far I want them to be off the bridal party list. However, doing this would cause a rift in the family, which isn't worth it. It would break my h2b's heart if he and his sister didn't have a relationship. Equally, it breaks my heart to constantly see him and his folks treated badly by her, but it's not my place to say anything. Unfortunately she is just a selfish person and her hubby is even worse. I wish I had better advice for you but I think you deserve to have your day but equally you must also think about the future of ur relationships with these people. However, I do agree with another person who said to say she goes to the fitting or she's out.

Myself and my h2b have decided on what we want it's our day just like your wedding is all about u and your h2b don't let them stress u or spoil it for you

You poor thing. Bloody in laws are a pain in the arse x

I would definitely stop trying to contact them & if they don't bother getting in touch then it's their loss. Make it yours & your H2B's day & don't worry about anybody else

I agree with the majority here uninvite them but be firm in your decision you need to be clear and decisive it's yours and your partners day. Consult him on your decision and if he is happy for that to be the decision do it. It's not her special day, she can't throw a tantrum and mummy and daddy come running it's your day your the bride and I think the parents behave is bang out of order he's their son it's his day the mother should know better and the fat her too. If it was me it would have been the last straw along time ago, you tried and so it's not your fault if they want to be idiots let them do it at home where your not paying a lot of money for them to be there because I bet she's not buying the dress and I bet she won't be paying for the extra cost. I hope your big day goes wonderfully just sod everyone else and concentrate on you and your partner x

Uninvite the lot of them its ur day not theres ur husband to b is oviously on ur side so sod them all if any 3rd party trys anythin like this on my day thy wud b gone from the wedding an tbf my life 2

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. As long as you and your husband are on the same page, that's the most important thing. It's you and your husbands special day by theirs. How can expect you to fork out £80 for her shoes. Speak to your husband and see if you can come to an agreement in asking her to step down. Also maybe trying aksing him to talk to his mother about matching the colour scheme. If t was me I would warn them that they won't be in any pictures if they don't listen. It you and your husbands day not theirs. One thing I've learnt about in laws is that they try and see how far they can push your buttons. It's best to put your foot down now otherwise you are doomed. They will just continue to take the mock and become out of control. It's your day, don't let the inlaws ruin in. You should tell them that It's either they get in line or they won't be in pictures and they won't participate. Just make sure you communicate with your husband so you are both singing from the same hymn sheet.

Good luck!

I'm sorry, but who's special day is it?!! Yours and your husbands to be. No-one else's. You've gone to a lot of time, effort and especially money for other people to include them, but to what expense? The possibility of totally ruining your day!! I'm sorry, but to me, if family members are being awkward and uncooperative, then don't bother putting any more effort or money into them. Don't try to please everyone. Your husband is your most important person. Good luck honey. I hope my advice helps. Xx