Originally I had decided not to have bridesmaids as we were trying to keep the costs down and just have our children involved in the wedding. There has been a lot of problems in our family the past few years, my sisters and I have argued a lot. But over recent months things have been resolved and after much thought I decided it wouldn't be right not to ask my sisters to be bridesmaid as I love them both dearly. One said yes straight away but the other sister said no within seconds and gave the most rediculous excuse. To say I am heart broken is an understatement. My family are making excuses for her and making it seem like I am over reacting, but my friends and colleagues find this disgusting and can't believe my own sister would decline being my bridesmaid. I havent asked anything of her, just to wear a dress of her choice and walk down the isle with me. (She gas her own family so understand she would want to be with them most of the day). From the excuse she has given me, it sounds as though she is trying to get out of coming to the wedding at all. Am I just being silly, is it quite a normal thing to decline being a bridesmaid? Has anyone else experienced this?
I think it depends on the problems that you've had, it's hard to form on opinion without knowing the situation. Maybe for her the problem isn't resolved, she might feel uncomfortable being that involved in your wedding after what evers happened, depending on who's the youngest, she might be trying to steal your thundee or she might just be doing it to upset you and put a dampener on your day. Have a long chat with her and confront her about what's really going on. If things are resolved and your other sister has said yes it is unfair for her to decline. My best friend/maid of honour is going through something similar with her sister who's getting married, my friend still feels like there's things to resolve but her sister wants to just carry on like nothings happened, noones really right or wrong, that's just their way of dealing with the situation. Just talk to her, if she's just being an asahole then accept her decision and focus yourself, if she doesn't want to be involved in the most important day of your life, then you're not really missing out on anything, as horrible as that sounds. What ever you do, do not let it get you down or ruin your day.
I'm just having my daughters, step-daughter and niece, because they're all young there's no excuses. Do your sisters have kids? Maybe you could have their children involved instead. I've turned down being a bridesmaid before but the bride was really understanding. I would be upset if i'd asked my sister and got turned down but maybe you could let the dust settle and in a while mention it again and let her know the offer is still there....
Look at it this way, one less dress for you to buy
There are so many questions on this site from brides whose bridesmaids have let them down, show no
Interest or make very little effort with the bride or getting involved with the planning. I always assume either the brides are asking people to be their bridesmaids without giving it much thought, or the bridesmaids are accepting the roll not realising that it's means more than wearing a matching dress for a day. I don't think you should be upset with your sister for refusing. There's a good chance that if she's knows she hasn't got the time, or isn't financially able to commit but agreed to do it anyway, you'd be posting on here in a few months time saying your sister is not living up to her bridesmaid roll.
I Personally think it's better for someone to refuse the roll of bridesmaid, then to accept the offer and do a pretty crap job at it. If you weren't originally planning on asking her, I wouldn't let it bother you. Not everyone can dedicate an appropriate amount of time to be involved. It's better to have her there as a guest where she's had minimal
Involvement, then to fall out with her before the wedding because she's let you down so much as a bridesmaid xx
I wouldn't be offended personally, it should be enough to know that's her choice. She may not feel close enough to you to do it. Hopefully whatever it is between the two of you will be resolved but in the meantime you just have to accept her choice.
It's much better that she says no now than end up making you unhappy throughout the planning or on the day. Being a bridesmaid is not and should not be just turning up on the day and wearing a dress and it could just be that she doesn't feel she would do a good job. Don't let it spoil your planning and your day :) x
It's your wedding but that doesn't mean everyone has to do what you want. You asked, she declined. You should respect that, move on and stop making a big issue out of it. X
Don't take it personally, she said no so now you can get on with it with the people that genuinely care. If she doesn't attend your wedding, it's her that will look petty, leave her to get on with her attitude. Put her to the back of your mind otherwise she wins the mindgames she is obviously playing. Enjoy the planning stress free(ish lol) and more importantly enjoy YOUR day x
My sisters didn't want to be my bridesmaids. I was disappointed but it was their choice and I didn't read anything into it. They still supported me on the day
My sister isn't even coming to my wedding....families grrrrrr
Thanks everyone, I guess I can see it from a difervent point of view now but I'm still quite upset. X
Join UKbride for FREE today to submit your questions to hundreds of thousands of UKbride Members.