RSVPs - If people do not respond at all by the given RSVP date, despite...

I would just ring and if they don't answer leave a message and maybe a text too incase they don't pick up a voicemail and just 'politely' say

'Hi we're just calling as we need our RSVP's by 'date' we hope you can make it but if we don't hear anything we will be assuming your not coming to our wedding as once we've given our final numbers we are unable to amend them. Thankyou'

I am going to assume that they arent coming. I have enough to deal with and if they cant be bothered to send one piece of paper back i would rather spend the money on the guests who were helpful tbh

i would just assume their not coming, brides have plenty to do and i personally wasnt waiting around for anyone :)

I personally wouldn't be chasing. If people don't respond after you gently reminding them of the date all rsvps need to be back then put them in the "no" pile. Our invites have just went out for our wedding in May and if people don't rsvp by the date stated on the invite there will be no meal for them etc. Its just rude if they don't respond. Its not that hard to say yes or no.

I feel your pain! Our deadline is tomorrow and quite a few people haven't responded. We've chosen to chase x

Definitely do a final chase but advise them that this is it, if they don't get back to you before the numbers have to be in then that's their own fault.

I'd send a last email or text giving them 24 hours to respond. If you get no answer they're a no.

I'd try one last time, but make sure they know you'll count it as a "no" if they don't reply. Haven't had our wedding yet, but I can imagine having guests turn up who didn't bother to rsvp, expecting a meal, would be as annoying/stressful as paying for meals that don't get eaten.

I would be putting them in the 'not attending' list. You are inviting them to ur day and u are paying. It's disrespectful not to respond.

I hate this as it's not fair on you as a bride/groom to have people not RSVP! Everyone knows they have to RSVP so why don't they do it? I know I'll be chasing guests for my day! Evening I'm not worried about but day guests should have the courtesy to let you know! We are assuming that if we don't get an RSVP or response to a reminder then they aren't coming!

I reminded everyone the week before rspv return date and also made it clear if i didnt have a reply id be offering the seats to others as we was limited to 70 guests and had to leave friends off our list.. so the ones that didnt reply i replaced x

Ask them outright, are you coming, or not. Unless they have a good reason for not being able to say yes or no, assume no, and tell them!

Mine haven't been sent yet, but I've included a line on mine to say of we've not heard back by xdate we will assume you are not able to attend

I think you need to be quite blunt and ask them out rire. Just say are you coming to my wedding or not, tell them if you don't answer by (maybe give them a day or 2). then
you will assume they are not coming. Some time people need to be told straight. X

No rsvp - no dinner! Ain't nobody got time to be chasing!

It's very rude not to reply. It's not bloody hard is it. If it was me I'd prob send one final message saying I'm giving numbers and meal options in first thing tomorrow morning so if I haven't heard by the end of the end I'll just have to presume you're not coming x

Everyone RSVP'd luckily but I would put them in the no pile and maybe, last chance saloon, text them and say 'haven't received your RSVP saying yes so sorry you can't make the wedding. :-(' maybe that will prompt them!!

I posted this and got some responses but thankfully I didn't have many to chase...

I'm in this position right now, the deadline date is 1st April so on 1st March I kindly reminded people to reply this month. But we haven't received anything since that reminder. It is winding me up, how can people be so rude, it takes 2 seconds to tick the box!! And if they can't be arsed to post it just call me, it's really not hard!!!

I'm getting married in September this year and have asked people to rsvp by June, I will be messaging people that haven't yet done so at the start of the month and if I haven't received it by the deadline date on the invite I shall be messaging them stating that unfortunately as they have not responded in time they cannot come to the main day however we would love them to attend our evening celebration, I don't feel like I should be chasing them when they will of had 5/4 months to get back to us x

i would write to them or phone and just say right are you coming or not? lol i need to know. people are careless and forgetful. could be that they just haven't remembered to send in the RSVP itself.

I would contact them one more time saying something along the lines of 'as we've not had a response yet we are assuming you can't attend and won't be catering for you-if it's simply slipped your mind please let us know asap before we tell our venue/caterer/give your spot to somebody else'. Or words to that effect being as nice or as blunt as you feel lol. X

I think it depends on who it is. For instance, friends and distant family, it's probably safe to assume 'no'. However, my now husband's siblings weren't sending theirs because they assumed that we knew they were coming (which we did) and it wasn't necessary. I had to get in touch directly and point out that knowing they were coming and knowing what they wanted to eat were two different things.

See I've set my rsvp date ridiculously early. Once that's gone, I shall chase up and give a couple of weeks and state that if I don't hear by that deadline then I shall have to assume they aren't coming and therefore they will not be catered for. To be honest though, I am rather chilled about it, but that is because of how long I've given myself between the rsvp date and the wedding itself. Give them a week after, then contact them and say "1 more week to notify me due to requests from caterers/venue and if I don't hear by then unfortunately we will have to assume you are not coming and there shall be no place or food". Good luck! X

Our final numbers date was two weeks before. The RSVP came and went as it does. With a month to go I sent a bunch of fb group messages reminding people they hadn't rsvp'd and I needed to know in the next couple of days due to planning food etc. It got a good response as they could see they weren't the only ones who'd forgotten x

Depends how many you need to chase but just phone them and ask them directly?

Some people on here are being very harsh! Sometimes people just forget. One of my aunts hadn't replied so i sent her a very nice message just saying that I presumed she was coming but just wanted to check as I'd not heard from her and she replied really appologetic saying she thought she had already told me and was really sorry. People have lives and people forget, it'll probably be you who forgets one day so go easy on people. Pretty much everyone who we had to chase up is now coming and was really sorry. The ones who now aren't coming generally had things on and were trying to rearrange but couldn't. I wouldn't just assume it's a no if they haven't replied :)

We had ones who were in the 1st batch sent out in July with 4 weeks for reply date, 2nd set sent out in Aug again with 4 weeks. That left us 8 weeks or thereabouts. We received an acceptance 1 week after the final date, from 1st batch! Was a friend of hubbys dad n we knew he would be attending, but I was so close to sending a wee note to say tough sh1t you are far too late! I would say it really depends who it is that hasn't replied xx

The only people that didn't respond on time were my auntie, uncle (separate families not a couple) and my grandma. I just text them and they replied with menu choices. I think some people just assume you know they are coming or have forgotten to reply. If they don't reply to a message then make a decision, either knock them off the list or call then to chase again. Don't fall out with anyone though...unless they RSVP yes and then don't turn up after you have paid a fortune for them...haha

Not coming

assume they declined that's what we're doing:)

I directly messaged mine and was just honest saying I needed to give venue final numbers and either was fine but if they could just let me know x

We've put them down as not coming. If they can't be bothered to respond then why make the effort? It's frustrating but you don't need it, a lot of stress goes into planning a wedding as it is without adding that on!! xx

I chased people for possibly a few weeks after the date I had given on the invite, a gentle reminder a couple of hinting statuses and then straight out with it asking if they were coming or not and if they were what they were eating! after bugging everyone we had invited we got all answers just in time Haha but I will say if ur venue need to know very soon bug the life outta people or u will just end up getting stressed out xx

I totally get that people have their own lives and your wedding wont be in the fore front of their minds but to not respond to an rsvp for a wedding is just rude in my eyes and unfair on the bride/groom who will already be busy/stressed organizing everything else!! Of course some people do forget, I'm sure we have all done it but if they still haven't responded after a gentle reminder then I would assume they are not coming and not cater for them. We did this for ours, most people did rsvp but some didn't (was mainly family) so I sent a polite message to all giving them 7 days AFTER my rsvp date to respond and if we didn't hear from them we would assume they were not coming and would not include them in our numbers. At the end of the day we needed to give our venue final numbers plus organize table plan/place cards etc and I didn't want to be doing it all last minute. I don't think that its been harsh either, its a wedding surely for something that big you would know weather or not you could make it & if you wasn't sure then at least message the bride/groom to let them know your not sure if you can make it. To me that would be the decent thing to do