#MemberRequest - I'm getting married in May and me and my OH are literally paying for everything for the wedding party (7 groomsmen, 5 bridesmaids and 3 flower girls)except their shoes and I have made everything as easy as possible for everyone. My nephew and niece are part of it but my sister is just not playing ball, and trying to be extra awkward....we don't really get on but are pleasant for the sake of our kids...anyway all the dresses are being made by my mother in law as she is a couture dress maker. These are now ready for fittings so asked my sister to bring my niece up one weekend to have a dress fitting n the reply was I'm busy, football takes over at the weekend, I also asked about meeting somewhere for my nephew to try a suit on and her reply was he won't go shopping!! I haven't the time to buy suits then run them down to her (she lives 45 mins away) and then keep taking it back til it fits, he is very awkward sizes and I work full time also. I don't want to turn into a bridezilla but they have known for nearly two years that this wedding was happening and everyone else is playing ball....my OH and one of my other bridesmaids have said what they think I should do....just wondered whether anyone else has had a similar problem and how you dealt with it. Thank you in advance.
I'd tell her if she doesn't come for the fittings then her children will have no clothes for the day, I'd also offer to pick them up to take them for the fittings xx
I'd offer to collect the kids for fittings, then if she has an excuse for that you may have to let the kids down (unfortunately)
Ask her if she wants them to be part of the bridal party as her awkward behaviour would suggest otherwise. Can your mum not have a word with her and tell her to grow up and stop acting like a child. Sounds like she is jealous of your wedding.
I would give her such a slap then ask the children personally if they want to be involved. Horrible person
As a last attempt would it maybe be possible for you to pick the children up and spend a day doing the things you need to with just them? If this is refused I'd tell her that unfortunately they won't be taking part x
You say you don't have time to go down there, she says she doesn't have time to come to you. If neither of you are willing to take in turns then just don't have the kids in the wedding party. It's that simple really.
You m get need to make the time to get the outfits the first time and run them down to her. At that stage if further trips need to be made then you have more leverage to ask her to do some leg work.
Sounds like you need to have a breakdown and tell your family EXACTLY how you're feeling. Tell her you feel like no one cares and you just want to run away and get married in Vegas or something, just you and your HTB. I had a breakdown before I got married and it was like a verbal waterfall once I started I couldnt stop...had a good cry and my family all got the message and reassured me everything was OK etc. My Mum had a cry with me, my brother and Husband had a few words and my Dad rang me again the next day to reassure me he approved of my husband! Might seem dramatic but its how it happened and it worked x
Are the kids bothered about doing it? If they're not fussed they can just come as guests and she will have to take them to get an outfit for the day and pay for it herself. Job done. You can't keep jumping through hoops for people who don't seem to care, it's a waste of your time, money and energy. Good luck. x
I would give her three chances.
Offer once again for her to come to you.
If that fails
Offer for your mother in law to drive with you to them
If that fails
Offer to have her kids for the afternoom and do rhe fittings then and then take them out for a treat. That is more than fair.
If she says no to all you must think is it worth it?
I hope you get it all sorted
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