Hi everyone, I wonder if this has happened to anyone else? It's a couple...

This doesn't help but I would also be upset and would want a reason, wether they think it's my business or not, if they had a good reason surely they would say...

I am surprised that u can't change the numbers .they won't have got the food in so wots the problem. Enjoy your day no matter wot.xx

I had everyone confirm and on the day 5 people didn't come. 2 we knew about a couple of days before but the others didn't have a great excuse. £500 down the drain. I just sucked it up and got on enjoying my day x

This is what I'm worrying about too.. I'm thinking about inviting a few extra numbers as no doubt a few people will fail to come

Like you I would like a reason why they couldn't make it seeing as they have had 2 years notice but I wouldn't let it stress me too much. Yes it's annoying and hurtful but they are the ones missing out. A contingency plan I have is We have a list of evening guests that We would have liked in the day but couldn't afford and would invite them instead. Hope this helps

I was told certain people would turn up and on the day I was getting texts saying they wasn't coming (rubbish excuses) and some didn't even tell me they wasn't coming! In the end I was happy as the people we had at our wedding wanted to be there (some wasn't due to illness or other reason which was completely understandable) and it was an enjoyable day. Wouldn't change it (well actually the people who gave rubbish excuses I wish I just didn't bother inviting!) xx

Unfortunately, you just have to get on with it! I had someone do this to us 3 days before our wedding - I'd made the table plans etc so I had to reprint it all (lucky we did it ourselves, or that would of been more money lost!)
It was really silly too as it's because they couldn't get childcare and in our invite it said if you cant get childcare then let us know and we'll arrange a meal for your child etc etc.

Some people don't understand the amount of money you have spent on them!

But best thing is just to get on and enjoy your day! try not to worry about it and ask your venue if there is anything they can do with the 'extra' money - like an extra bottle of wine or a few more drinks at the drinks reception :) xx

Had something similar. I'm sorry you're going through this. I have had to change my mindset to think, whoever wants to be there, will be there. If they don't, their loss. It sucks you can't get any money back for the places you have paid for. Try explaining everything to your venue? Is there anyone else in yours or your h2b/w2b lives you could invite? If it's really getting to you you could try talk to these people but I know that's difficult and may not be worth it (wasn't in my case). I think the main thing I have learned from this whole process is no one will give a s**t about your wedding as much as you do so it's so important to make it what you want. Again, sorry you're going through this but just appreciate the people who will be there to make your day amazing.

Have you actually asked the venue about getting your money back? That's a lot of food going to waste plus your money! If they say no can you not invite evening guests to take their place? X

That's awful. I would want to know reason too. It's their loss just concentrate on enjoying your day. I had 5 people not turn up on my day I was told one week before and 2 days before so couldn't get it back but they all had valid reasons. I've been married 5 years in July and these people still feel bad about it. They all had hotels etc booked too. Hope all goes well on your day xx

Call the venue. They won't refund it but they may let you transfer it into money behind the bar x

I had the same problem a week before our wedding, although not as many as you have, one we knew was a possibility all along and they gave as much notice as they could, others told us but in my opinion not with a good enough reason after they had rsvp'd that thet were coming. I was always told to have a few back up people that were invited to the reception so if needs be could bump them to all day, so this is what i did, thatvway no money was lost and a few reception people were then happy they could be a part of the whole thing. Maybe you could do this.

Don't let it ruin your day just carry on
My uncle didn't come to my wedding as 'he couldn't get the day off' - HE had 1 & 1/2years notice of the date . So was a pretty shite excuse really!

We had the same they just didn't turn up its so infuriating bit nothing you can do, although I did hear of some one sending those guests a bill for their meal lol if I had the nerve I would have too. We also had some o e bring an extra person which really annoyed me to as I had to get the venue to squeeze in another place ( we didn't know the others weren't there at this point) xx

I had the same happen to me, some with explanation, some without, some who just didn't tell me they weren't coming. Some at the time really got to me, as I started to take it personally, one in particular was who I thought was a really close friend, he let another guest tell me he couldn't come. Never even got an apology. These things happen. Better to let it go than take it personally.

See if you can use the extra behind the bar or something like that if they won't give you the money back xx

I've been stressing about people not giving me a firm confirmation of attendance and not sending RSVPs back and they have got shirty with me! It's like people don't realise how important it is to confirm numbers. Obviously you need to know to order food, chair covers, place cards, finalise table plan etc. Even by ONE person pulling out last minute you lose a lot of money so you have every right to stress. Good luck x

Are there any evening guests you could 'bump up' to the day? Save wasting the money you have paid and I'm sure they would be delighted to go.

We had this problem. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do. Just enjoy your day xx

So Sorry ...that's hard ....if they won't swop food to extra bottles of wine ... transfer to giving food away to a homeless our kitchen
" Random Acts of Kindness " , have a look at their Facebook page ....it really makes a difference passing it forward ...

We had 7 people who didn't come, some of them didn't even have the good grace to tell us. My cousin and his three daughters didn't come but he let us know as they were unwell.. My husband was speaking to others the night before and apparently they were coming but didn't show and on the day they didn't answer his call before the ceremony.. which I felt was a bit odd .. turns out they were unwell too .. in total we were out of pocket by about £500/£600 too .. unfortunately it happens.

It's odd now too because they still haven't spoken to us and it's been 2 weeks... I don't really know what to say but I'm not holding on to any bad feelings because our wedding day was perfect... it was the best day of our lives and everyone who was there had fun and there was no drama... if people don't come.. it's their loss .. they miss spending a fabulous day with you and your h2b .. x

I hope that you can get past this and you will see that your day will be magical.. xx

Unfortunately things like this does usually happen.. You always get messers, that's life! Try not to get upset though, focus on the people who matter & who wants to be there celebrating your special day with you. If people can't be bothered to make the effort, there not worth worrying about x

If people rsvp yes to us then change minds without good reason then I will be asking them for the 80 quid (that's the cost per head) as once the numbers are in it can't necessarily be changed especially if there is a minimum number required for the package.

This happened to us, we just called.some of the evening guests and said there was now some spaces for the day time if they were able to make it for the whole day. We managed to fill quite a fee seats out that way.

Id make them pay for their place if they couldnt give me a valid reason. Id be fuming xx

A week before my wedding an uncle I've seen a handful of times phones my dad upset he weren't invited so my dad called me asking for him to come an he'll give up his seat. Well he never came no apology nothing
We had a few people not turn up which upset me because there was a couple of empty table where we could've invited more people.

In a few years you won't be bothered by it you'll just remember your amazing day xx

I had 9 ppl just didn't turn up at my wedding but their loss as it was a great day, just rudeness on their part just let them run on I no it can be annoying especially since you have already paid for them.

I had this happen, over a grand down the drain as a result and big gaps at tables as they pulled out last minute or just didn't show up. 2 lots still haven't given an explanation why one didn't show and 6 months on and just ignores me and the other guests. The other just didnt say a thing. Least the others apologised. Really upsetting I totally feel your pain and frustration. I now see it as a lesson learned, we've cut 2_ groups of people from our lives who obviously weren't v nice and didn't respect us as friends to give an apology or reason, and those that did make the effort really love and care about us. A win win really :) keep your chin up and eff them! Their loss! Xx

Would definitely be upset, they should be able to give a reason at the very least. We only lost three guests on the day but it still equated to us being out of pocket by a fair amount whereas had they said they weren't coming we could have moved a couple of evening guests up into the space.

I would genuinely think about upgrading evening guests, or filling the spaces with people you otherwise couldn't have invited. If neither option is applicable tell the people letting you down you have already paid for them to be there and as such they should either make the effort or pay you back the money !

I know that sounds to some like it's quite harsh but people seem to be oblivious to just how much it costs to feed and water one person at a wedding, and it's a total kick in the teeth to see the money wasted after two years of planning ! X

In my wedding day a friends wife was seriously ill (she has a serious medical condition) so they didn't come which we totally understood. However the night before the wedding my fiances brother text him (didn't even bother to ring) and said he couldn't come because he had no money. Everyhug was paid for, we'd even paid to his room so his only expense was petrol money. What made it worse was 3 days later he posted on Facebook about buying expensive gig tickets. My fiance was heartbroken. People can be awful!

I had exactly the the same thing happene and some no shows in the evening that had confirmed they were coming. I was so stressed, in tears and having panic attacks and nightmares that I would turn up and not a soul would be there. To be quite honest, I didn't notice the absence of the ones that didn't attend. I looked around the room after the ceremony and saw people we love that loved us in return and my heart felt full. I didn't notice the missing evening guests until the next day because I was having such a great time with those that WERE there. The loss of money is annoying but for me it didn't affect my wedding day in the end.

Planning my wedding in July is giving me palpitations and non stop headaches, nausea and other things that may or may not just be down to illnesses I have

I too, have very close family members whom I value dearly not attending all because it's 30 mins away from the city ( transport is provided)

Should have just pissed off to Vegas and done it but my partners parents are almost 81 and 76 so I think it's the least I could do,to have it close to them as Julie is their eldest daughter and her dads girl

Also my kids are 18 14 and 12 and I've never married so vegas didn't seem ideal to take them

I'll be glad when it's all over to be honest
Never knew it could be so stressful x

I had the same with mine. I managed to fill 2 spaces and 'upgraded' friends to day invites instead of just evening invites. I'm so glad I did. However I still think it's darn rude of guests to do that so close to the day unless they have a really good reason (mine didn't )

Speak to your venue i was able to cancel people an have it refunded but i had to do it by the middle of the week we got married x speak to your co ordinator and ask them x

We had some people we had to chase to say are you coming or not and most said they could then a lot of them cancelled last minute and my sitting plan was already done but was able to cancel the food at the venue so didn't lose out on money then we had 2 people not turn up. So lost money on them. We could of asked different people to come for food instead but had a limit. So annoying.

I am 8 weeks away from wedding and I have had 5 people drop due to sickness which I understand. I have sent messages out saying I need to start table plans and doing the menu so I need to know if everyone can make it. It is annoying when I have had it booked for well over a year and now some people are complaining as there is a boxing match on that night

I couldn't and wouldn't hide the fact I was upset. Surely they should be offering their reason on telling you they now can't attend. I'd definitely ask why. It would need to be something important for me to find forgiveness. Disgraceful behaviour on the guests part!

I'm having the same worries. Some people are not RSVPing properly and I'm having chase. Then I am also having doubts regarding certain people turning up or cancelling at the last minute which will cause us to lose out on a lot of cash which could be better spent else where. I am confirming with everyone 6 weeks beforehand to ensure no-one pulls out. I am stressing over this also so I'm glad I'm not the only one. Speak nicely to your venue and see if they'll remove the costs of the people not attending at least this could put your mind at rest slightly xx

Unfortunately this always happens- I had people who didn't turn up on the evening of our wedding and still to this day I don't know why they didn't come x

I was in almost exact same position my husbands family let us down massivly and messed us about alot and a friend went into labour day before so their whole family couldnt come (obviously that one i understood but still had 4 numbers to make up) I simply asked more friends to take their place! If you are going to loose out on money anyway why not ask your new work friends its a good way to break ice n not going to cost you extra? Xx

Happens to everyone including myself. (Got married last weekend). The people who make the effort to come are the people you want to have memories of having been there! Remember the reason you're doing it in the first place is to marry your best friend, not to keep everyone happy.
We asked the venue to put more drinks and canapés out since we couldn't get a refund and they were more than happy to do so.
Honestly there's always folk that will let you down, there's really no point in stressing because on the day you certainly won't notice they weren't there.

We had a couple drop out just after we'd confirmed numbers and could no longer get money back and another person dropped out the day before. We didn't get a detailed reason for all of them but it wasn't worth the stress to give it too much thought. Yes it hurt to have them pull out, but it was an amazing day and ultimatley they are the ones who missed out!

Just ask them straight out to see if they can change their minds as you have already paid. U have nothing to lose if they get "grizzly" again, u will then know if they do that they r not worth it, family or not. U have given 2 yrs notice surely their plans could have been arranged round one day out of 356! Maybe time to cut loose and enjoy ur wedding day.

We had hubbies family let us know by letter the day before (they live 3 miles away) and some of his friends not turn up but our venue were amazing crediting our room so we could have drinks food etc. We got married in June and still nothing from them. It will all work out try not to stress it won't change anything you will have an amazing day regardless. We found out although weddings bring out the best in some people they also bring out the worst xxx have an amazing day chick x

It happened to me too. We had some guests let us know a couple of days before because they were poorly and a few no shows for the evening. We also had a few guests in the evening who only stayed for about an hour! Try not to stress about it. It's them missing out on a great day x