Hey, I'm looking for some advice about who I have to invite to my wedding....

Hi I think you should invite them as your mum's partner is part of your family who happens to have daughters I think it would be unfair not to you don't really want to cause awkwardNess really if you can help it but I do understand how your feeling hope you get it sorted...!

Unfortunately you can't please everyone. I don't see why they should come all day if you hardly know them, just because they're family. I think you just need to sit down with your mum and have a gentle chat about it, it's your wedding and it's about who you want to spend it with! Shouldn't be up to them x

It's your day! Not your mothers invite the people who you are closest to and who will make your day special for you and your h2b! People who know you as a couple and who are part of your every day life should be a priority over people who you don't even really know/ impact your life. I know who I'd rather invite. Don't let your mum make you feel guilty it's your wedding -not hers. X

It's your and your fiancés wedding. Nobody else's. Sit your mum down and be gentle but firm that you won't be pressured into anything you don't want and that they are evening guests. X

Don't miss out on inviting folk you've known or have grow up with for X mumber of years over people you barely know. It's your day, you expenditure, your call!!

Could you maybe still keep them as evening guests, but have them all round for a special meal not long before/after the wedding? It's a hard one, as like others have said it's your day, but I can totally understand that you don't want any bad feeling.

I'd only invite them for the evening. Get those that are important to you guys to attend the ceremony.

If your limited to numbers you invite who you want not because you don't want to upset parents etc.
They had their day! This is your day!

What's wrong with them only coming to the evening.
Yeah his daughters might be a big part of your mums life but it's not her wedding it's yours & if there's no space then that's tough.
Close family & friends come first xxx

Its your day, not theirs.. You do not know them that well.. Invite your closest friends and who ever else you want there.. If your mum see's her arse over it.. Tell her straight.. Our day, our wedding.. Unless she is paying for everything then its not a problem really

I agree with your idea after all it's yours & your h2bs wedding - make your decision & stick to it, no arguments or discussions. Hope you have a brilliant day ! ️

How dare anyone tell you that you "should" invite people to your wedding !!
I would only invite them to the evening and I'm sure they would and should be grateful !
I would not invite anyone to my actual wedding / dinner who I had only met 4 times -I am keeping mine for very close family and friends only-small and intimate then the rest of those I love and add on's can come to my reception.
If anyone had a problem with that then I would tell them straight. If any tension was caused between me and my mum because of something like this i would tell my mum exactly how I feel and that she was making something out of nothing and those invited to my reception would be lucky to get an invite as it would mean I though of them!
I won't have anyone making me feel wrong or funny and if they do I speak out !
It's YOUR day Hun -just do what you feel , stay true and loving, smile and carry on and let others deal with issues they may have because that's exactly what it is ...THERE issues not yours !
Hope you have a wonderful day when the time comes xx all the best xx

This is yours and your partners day... they are not your daughter's... not have your grown up with them your whole life as sisters. You invite who you please do your day... also if your mum can't except that,then she will have to get over it.

Who's paying? an extra 8 is a lot! Stick to your guns!

It's your wedding invite who you want

Weddings will always bring the worst out in people it's a shame not everyone can be made happy I agree with everyone that says it's your day if you barely know them just because there your family through marriage doesn't take priority over people that are closer and have spent more time in your life than these people. I had a similar issue I had a venue that could only hold 26 guests so had to cut my brothers and sisters kids out but organised a creche for some of them and the rest were all invited to the evening I informed some of them beforehand others I put a personal note in with their invitation I hope you sort through it and have a very beautiful day good luck x

If your mum is paying for the wedding then I think it is fair that you invite some people at her request, however if you are paying yourself then make sure you are with the people that mean the most to you.

I personally wouldn't invite them if you're only inviting them to please someone else. You should only invite close family and friends to the daytime and shouldn't, in my eyes, not invite anyone that you don't want to share your day with. It's an expensive thing to add on 6 people if you didn't really want them there yourselves. I'd say stick to your gut feeling but depends how it affects your relationship with your mum. I think it's sad how many people come on this page and say a close relative/friend has caused an issue about having someone invited, it should be yours and your h2bs choice xxx

Personally I'd keep them as evening guests. You want your absolute nearest and dearest at the ceremony xx

Its your wedding day!!!! You invite who you want. Trust me you need to be brutal. You will never please everyone but the main thing to remember is its your day no one elses. Dont do it to please others

Invite them only to the night do.i had same problem at my wedding.they ended up only comin to night do as cud not afford it or had space.its your wedding.

My mum always says you can't have a wedding without offending someone. It's your day. Ask you mum to compromise it's not like you were excluding them at all. You wanted them to come to the evening. Stick to your guns. It seems like the best compromise.

Keep them as evening guests. They're not a big part of your life, so pick who you want there! Good luck!

I invited people my mum or family wanted there on the condition that if it means so much to you, you can pay. Ultimately I don't see why I should pay £100 per person when I don't know them well enough to be there. As it was my cousin was on and off with her boyfriend so much that 3 weeks before the wedding she asked if he could come and I said the above to her, she gave me the money and 3 days before the wedding they had broke up! My mother insisted I invite my uncles new girlfriend and having met her and not thinking much of her after one meet up and guessing they may not be together for long I said I wasn't prepared to pay for her either. Mum gave me the money for her. And what do you know they have broken up less than 6 months after the wedding! I was all for inviting certain family and friends that were expected and actually had my mums 5 best friends and husbands but you have to draw the line somewhere. I may sound mean but it's not ok for everyone else to have an opinion and tell you what to do when it's you forking out the massive bill!

My mum and her partner have been together for about 4 years and I didn't invite his grownup children, I've only met them once or twice. No one even expected them to! If they got married in wouldn't expect an invite, that was my logic for a few people.

Inviting them to the evening is a good compromise. I see no issue

Stay firm! Invite who you want, it's your day. We did and didn't care who we offended and had the best day ever with our family and closest friends x

If you've only met them 4 times why should invite them to the day? You've said you'd invite to the evening so tell your mum to grow up. Not her wedding. Xx

It's your day, you should do what you want. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks

I had a similar situation. Invite your mum round for a cup of tea & have a chat. Explain that you just don't have the space/ money to invite everyone & there are people you are closer to that you want there. But add them to a reserve list in case someone can't make it. For me my dad relaxed about it when he realised there were actually loads of his family invited!

No just to the evening we have a similar situation and we're invitig them to evening only which they are more than happy with! The best advice my mum gave me was remember its your wedding its about, what who and where you and h2b want it!!!

I don't know why anyone but the bride and groom think they have so much say in a wedding, it's ur wedding, and with limited numbers I would explain that to ur mum, if they are so desperate for her stepchildren to be there why don't they pay for them to be there, so u can still have ur friends there...that said, I personally wouldn't invite anyone I didn't want there x

I personally wouldn't invite them! It's your wedding day do what YOU want! Xxx

I would probably invite the daughters to the day and partners to the evening, as a good will gesture, they will probably say no as you haven't invited their partners but it will look like you've tried. I would perhaps say that because you are limited on numbers that is the best you can do

My H2B dad remarried and she has 4 sons we are not inviting any of them because we do not know them they make no effort to know any of us they are all childless but we all have children so get so busy but still make the effort to go to special occasion for them. I agree if you want them there for the evening only invite them for that part but if yuh rather none of them go don't invite them this is your day not your mums. She and her husband should respect that. Sorry my opinion rant over good luck sorting it all out xx

My mum and her partner have been together for 8 years. I'm not inviting his children during the day but they are invited at night. I don't see anything wrong with you only inviting them at night. I agree with Jen Wicks if you mum and her partner want his children there then they should pay for them. It's your day.

Myself and sister wasn't invited to my dad's partners sons wedding but my brother and his girlfriend was we wasn't bothered anyway xx

It's your wedding, invite who you want. Tell your mum straight out what you have just told us and if she can't understand what you're saying then tell her that her partner is not invited either. She will be upset and mad but at the end of the day it's yours and your partners day not hers. If they decide to get married then his daughters and their partners can go to that.

It is your day and you should have the people closest to you there fornthe whole day. If there is room for them, then invite them, if not then your mum needs to understand that it is your day

I wouldn't invite them at all, full stop. You don't know them and they aren't related to you. I certainly wouldn't expect to be invited to someone's wedding I don't know!

It's your wedding, you two are paying for it, invite who you want. Evening invites are fine. X

It's your day! I did a very similar thing and it may have caused tension but that's how I wanted my wedding day so that is how it was going to be! They got an open invite to the church and the evening... X hope it gets sorted X

Hmmmm... i can c ur point totallu. But ur mum is probably trying to bring u altogether as one big extended family. I would ask her if she sees ur point of view that u would have to sacrifice close friends for people u do not actually know v well to keep ur mum happy... when it is actually ur day so u want the people u r closest to there.
I had a lot of hassle about inviting a gf i hadnt even met! But i didnt want upset and tension so i said if i there were people who declined the day invite, i'd have a space for them. It wasnt that i didnt want them there... i didnt have room for them. Luckily not everyone could make it so i had a space.

I don't want anyone at my day who I barely know ! Im happy for them to come to the evening but why would you want to pay for people you hardly know. Im always shocked when I get invited to weddings of people I barely know or are friends with my H2B I don't think you should feel obliged at all x

I didn't invite my mums husband daughter to my wedding and if she was invited she would have had to pay to be there

Invite who YOU want I never invited my mums sister so my nana & grandad refused to come a year later I'm only just on speaking terms with them but that was their choice and they missed out on a fabulous day so their loss not mine xx

I have the opposite. My dad's partner has a son and they have been together about ten years. I asked if they would like me to invite him but they said it doesnt really matter. I'm tempted just to go straight to him and ask him directly if he would like to attend. Either day or night (but lives quite a distance away). My advice is to go with your instinct and heart. Go directly to them and talk to them about it (his daughters). Do they have families themselves etc. If so you might invite them to the day but their families to the night. Just remember it's YOUR day but you want to be relaxed on your day. Good luck!!! X

Sarah-Elizabeth Coates

Personally me and my partner have a rule where if we haven't seen or spoken to people more than a couple of times in the last year then they won't be invited.we are saving for mortgage so we are not shy about stating our reasons before people even get chance to protest.we aren't prepared to pay for people to be there when we likely wouldn't feel like we are close enough to them to go to their weddings either.anyone trying to add people to our guest list would be ignored by us as we just feel its rude.we also feel its quite old fashioned to have others pay for wedding so letting others have opinion on the basis that they are contributing financially,won't work with us either lol

Stick to your guns it's your day and you don't know them well I think just inviting them to the evening bit is fair enough x

I agree. If they are not directly related to you and you do not have a close relationship then an evening invite is total acceptable.

My MIL wanted people at our wedding all day that I had never met and my OH didn't know very well, we explained due to numbers it wouldn't be possible with out paying extra so she offered to pay the extra per/head costs for those people.

We still got to have our friends counted in the numbers and she was happy paying for the extra guests

On another note my aunties husband at the time was not invited to our wedding due to various reasons (they are now separated) I also hadn't spoken to my biological father and his family for a number of years. They had only met my husband once so none of them were invited I still don't even know if they are aware I am married! And we celebrate 3 years married this year.

It's your day and you and your partner choose who you want to attend. Good luck!! Xx

I can see your mum's dilemma. It is at "family" events where people who are part of an extended family get to feel accepted as part of the real family. Maybe your mum just wants all of you to feel like family. Having said that, she needs to understand your budget too and your feelings. If you think it would be positive to invite them and have a chance for them to integrate a bit more in your family, then explain this to your mum but also say that you cant afford the extra expense. if your mum can see you're thinking about them but can't afford them she may offer to pay for them. Difficult, but I know lots of people say it's your day, your choice etc etc, it is but it's also a day about showing love and compromise all round. Good luck, I hope you have a lovely wedding day

I invited my stepdads (see him as my dad) 3 kids (one was also bridesmaid) and his brothers & sisters and their partners. We literally never see them (we live in Wales and them England) but their his family. We was limited to 70 guests. He & my mum did pay for our wedding but even if they hadnt, they would of still been invited x

It's your wedding and it's entirely up to you and your partner who u Invite to whatever part of the day. They don't like it then tuff.

You're absolutely doing the right thing. Yes they're part of your family but if you haven't become close in 2 years then why should they take up a place you could use for your own friends? I'd invite them to the evening and kindly but firmly explain your reasons to your mum and just try not to back down. It's your wedding, your money, your decision who you spend your day with.

I wouldn't invite them to all day! I didn't invite my husband's step sisters to any of our day (long story) but why should they be invited? *

It's a special day for you and h2b, don't let your family dictate to you about who you invite.

Your wedding is exactly that, it's yours. Imagine looking around on the day and seeing 6 people you barely know in place of good friends, who are special to you. Have a good chat with your Mum and follow your heart.

I say stick to ur guns! we invited family because we felt we had to and wished on the day we had more of our friends with us, people might say yeah but their family now but I'm sorry so what, parents sometimes seem to forget that it is ur wedding day and u both have ur own friends u want to include because they mean a lot to u, ur not a child u should be able to make ur own mind up

The only thing you need to know and remind everyone of is that IT IS YOUR DAY. Surround yourself with the people you love and really want there to make it special for you and you husband.

I have step children (grown up ones) i am inviting my step son and his wife to the whole day but my step daughter is only coming to the evening. I have explained its a numbers thing and she fine with it. I see my step son more than my step daughter

Do what ever you want. Your wedding not theirs. Have the friends there that deserve it.

I personally would stick to what you want to do and invite them for the evening, especially if you are the ones paying for it all, I could understand if your mum was paying for it n u needed to make up numbers fair enough. Have you sent invites out? if not (I may get some kind of backlash from this but hey ho lol) explain to your mum that they are 100% invited to the evening and if people can't make it and tell you in enough time (when sending rsvps back) that her partners children are top of the reserve list? myself and my hubby both had people there that we had invited that the other didn't know well (some of my side I hadn't seen in years so my partner hadn't even met them) but they are our families and we wanted them there and numbers were perfect after a few dropped out in the run up to the wedding.
it is yours and your h2b day...you decide who is invited to what part of the wedding! lol

Ask her if she fancies paying the extra for them to come and then see how she feels about it..?

Just the evening. Your mum should not put this pressure on you. It's your day not hers. Family are so hard to please! Good luck x