Hi! We've just booked our wedding! ???? We've got a huge guest list....

To be honest if my aunt uncle were getting married and I'd only been with my partner a few months I'd understand but they've been together long periods of time I'd actually be quite taken aback by it. Sorry it's not the reply you wanted

I wouldn't worry to much about it. I've also got a big family. we are having 80 day guests and 120 evening guests. We've decided to split it in 2 so we've each got 40 day guests. the way it's worked out h2b has been able to invite all his side of the family but me on the other hand can only invite close family members and aunty and uncles. so all my cousins and their partners will be invited to the evening. it's your day so just do what you think is best. your not gonna be able to please everybody. hope it all works out for you x

You've got to be practical, and if that's what you feel is the best solution then I'd stick to it. My dads side is big and I didn't know who to invite because once you invite one cousin you invite them all so we invited my cousins to the evening and just had my dads siblings there in the day. Plus ones we only gave to people either engaged or in very long term but one family on my partners side there are 4 kids and they all had partners so for ease we just invited the partners to the night time. You're the one paying for it and it should be up to you who comes, especially with him being from a massive family they should understand that xxx

You will find they don't come without their partners
We did aunts/ uncles only to day and all cousins and partners to night
It was the only fair way to do it
Everyone understood as it had happened at several weddings

Danielle

It is what it is. You have a limit. So long as you explain the situation most people understand. We've done the same and invited partners to the evening. If they kick up a fuss and get the hump then are they really the people you want at your wedding anyway? I'd say so long as u explain and are clear why then it should be fine.and if it's not it's their issue not yours (you have to grow a thick skin when it comes to things like this and remember it's your day, no one elses)

I've been to weddings before where I couldn't take my partner in the day but he was able to come in the evening! I didn't mind as I knew it was expensive and also it still meant I could at least see my friends get married! They shouldn't be angry... they should understand and respect your decision! Can you give them the option of partners coming in the evening? I've got 90 to my day but we invited others in the evening.

Another option you could do is for those that kick up a fuss/want their partners there ask them to pay for them after explaining of course the reason you couldn't add them was due to how many ppl you could afford initially?

Also like others have said just invite aunts and uncles to day do and cousins to night do

I think that's fine as there will be enough family members for them to not be alone. BUT do any nieces /nephews have children? Are they invited? Or do they have to stay home with the parent that's not invited?

We didn't have room for everyone and partners so we stopped at aunts and uncles for day doo and cousins and partners for evening reception. The only exception to this are the aunts and uncles with cousins who are travelling a distance to be here. We didn't feel it was fair to make their children wait alone until evening reception stuck at a hotel. Everyone seems to agree so far that it's the fairest way to do it. If I was married to my partner and they weren't invited I wouldn't attend, if they were a reletively new partner id understand. You can't please everyone just remember that. My cousin got married and actually chose basically just family they liked, there was no rhyme or reason to it and out of all his family me and my sisters were the only cousins not invited to any of it. I thought that was damn right rude to be so blatant that we weren't wanted and I won't be doing that when my invites go out. It's bad manners in my book

I think it's fine to do it this way, but I do think it's better to take the time to explain to them personally why that's the case. If they just receive an invite with their name on it you run the risk of them a) assuming it's for both and two of them turning up, or b) them being offended by their partner being left off. Once you've explained in person or over the phone that you really are tied on numbers then I'm sure they will be more understanding.

My husband and I got married a week ago and for about a year before it we worried so much about this! My closest family members (12 cousins) all wanted to bring partners but we didn't have the space .. like you we said that partners could be evening guests.. we spoke to my cousins before sending invites to avoid any upset and make sure they knew it was just down to space and they all were fine with it .. a few chanced their arm trying to get their partners to be full day guests but we stayed strong.. and everyone had a great time.. the partners who wanted to came at night and had fun

I hope you have an amazing day ..

Gosh, what a huge family! Starting with a positive... Wow lucky you, how wonderful to have so many people in your life. Your guest list is huge, even though it's limited to those you have regular contact with. That means you and hubby-to-be spend a lot of effort and time building and maintaining your relationships. The fact that you are anxious about offending people shows what a kind and thoughtful person you are. The fact that you can't fit everyone in is exactly that, it's a fact. You can't do anything to change it. It sounds like you are a great family member and the people who appreciate that will understand. You are inviting partners of nieces/nephews to the evening, which is really generous. Don't beat yourself up about it. Take care to communicate your reasons for who is being invited to which part of the day and don't give a second thought to anyone who has an issue with it.

Be honest with people. Tell them you cannot afford to invite partners to the day part and it isn't fair for you to pick some who can come as that will be more upsetting to ones you don't pick so it's fairer that none of them are invited. People should respect the wishes of the bride and groom and make life as easier as possible for them so shouldn't make a fuss... If they don't like what you do then they have the choice not to come. I'm total bridezilla!

Just to add more food for thought- does this count if they've been together and married for only 2yrs or 7yrs, just the same as if they're together but not married for the same amount of time?

Tbh I think as people above have said, your better just inviting the cousins/nephews/extended family to the evening. If I was invited to the day and my husband (or partner) was on ly for the evening I'd probably just come to the evening with him.

Or something we did was invite almost everyone to the church (ie. Friends, extended family) and then to the evening but not the 'day' section. Worked well for us as it wasn't too far from home so people could come and go easily and also as ceremony and meal were different venues x

Myself and my partner both have large families (we also have around 90 day guests!). We have invited our cousins but can't afford to give everyone plus ones. Unless the couples were married or had been together a while (and we had met the partner) they haven't been given plus ones. This has caused some issues with family members complaining but we have been honest and said we cannot afford it, plus why would we pay £85 for someone we've never met?!?. We've offered their partners evening invites instead. I think you need to draw the line somewhere. Remember it's your day not theirs. Good luck! Xx

I think u should consider cutting out nieces and nephews totally rather than not inviting their partners - I would not expect my husband to be to go to a wedding that I wasn't invited to.... nor would I invite a person and not their partner all day - that could cause them arguments/discomfort as they may feel like they have to come but wouldn't want to come without their partner! x

We are in the same situation... 120 guest.. but to get to that we have only invited the cousins we are in constant contact with and their plus ones. The we also cut down on aunties and uncles that we have no contact with. We preferred to have friends that we see often and get along with rather than relatives that never call to day hi. Good luck. X

If I had been with my boyfriend for 8 years and he was invited to a wedding without me I would be fuming ..... if you can't afford to invite them both then don't invite any xx