Need some Bridesmaid help!! When I originally got engaged 2 years ago I...

It's your day, just think about what you want and what makes you happy and what makes it less stressful for you. If they are true friends then they will understand your reasons for what you decide to do. Good luck x

Wow I was stressed just reading this !! I hope your okay, honestly I'm quite harsh when it comes to situations like this and just do away with anything that causes
Me stress! Xxx

Can I ask why your not her Bridesmaid? As surely it works both ways if your best friends? X

Isn't the whole point of having bridesmaids is for them to ease the stress and support you etc. If having them is creating so much stress for you, then just don't have them :S

Oh big hug !! Please stop worrying about everyone & do what is right for you ....at the end of the day it is your day so give yourself some rest ...I understand it is so emotional when people are involved .... A lot of my bridesmaids live far away too ....so I have had to resolve myself doing most of it on my own .....so far had 1 visit with me on January sales shopping ...& another one visit a wedding shop with me ...& 2 make wedding fairs with me ..... However I am planning my hen do myself to remove stress & get what I wish to do ....
Please look after yourself & book in for a massage ....
Warm wishes for your special day ,
Love Sarah x

I think it's terrible the way they are acting. It's your day, your choice of bridesmaid dresses and should be exactly how you want it. It seems to me she isn't supporting you. If they can't get with the program then tell them to piss off. My bridesmaids are 200 miles away and I have had no problems. The wedding is also nearly 200 miles in the other direction and no one has complained. I've had to juggle dates a little but everyone is making the effort. Go and have a spa and rewrite your guest list hunny xxx

Dont re ask her.....if shes tryin to dictate to u about the big day and wants to winge about dresses ull spend ur time tryin to keep her happy amd the day isnt about her its about u.....id just say if ur gonna stop hein difficult then yeh if not its best for our frienship if ur not...if u choose to be bm again...i need to stress that the dresses are not up to u...just be thankful u aint in a curtain

I had a very similar situation with friends/bm living/moving away and upsetting people wanting to please everyone. At the end of the day it is your wedding. So regardless of what others want, if you want your best friend as a bm you have her as one and make it work. But only if you think that would make you happiest. If it's an extra stress you think you don't need then just keep it as it is. Have you thought about involving her in another way? Maybe get her a corsage to wear or get her to be witness etc. Have her with you the morning of the wedding to prep with you. There's ways you can involve her without her being bm. But ultimately do what you want. Friends will understand x

Take a deep breath and do what you feel is right. Distance shouldn't be a barrier if you don't want it to be. My marriage was international (US to UK). I had bridesmaids in 3 states across the US and one in the UK. None of them had ever met each other and none of them lived within 1,000 miles of me. It meant we couldn't do some of the standard things together in the way that most bridal parties do. But when the time came and everyone travelled in, it was perfect.

We also made the dress situation simpler by giving everyone a designer, a set colour and a few ground rules about the dresses, then let them pick their own. Not for everyone I completely understand, but it meant they all had something they liked and it removed the stress of trying to find something all could wear.

I wouldn't re ask her tbh, she was the one making it difficult and causing issues in the past, what if u did re ask her and she decided again she couldn't afford it, wasn't available, doesn't like the dress etc, I'd leave things well alone and the one who has moved away further, has given u no reason to stress over her yet so she seems like the better choice up to now, if u feel bad and want the other one then by all means ask her but be prepared this time just in case. She's already let u down n fallen out with u once so could do again x

I had four bridesmaids, two lived in America, I got there mum to do their measurements, I choose the still I wanted, when they were maid they were sent to America for them to try on, all four went as I forgot to mention two were to come to me. They tried them on with the shoes that I choose and ordered and had delivered also to America, one was pinned up and all sent back to me, they were all packed in bags with names on, then me dressmaker took the one up, didn't see the bridesmaids till the morning of the wedding, all went perfect, my Moto don't stress it's your day you need to enjoy it!

I live in Gloucestershire and my bridesmaids are both in Glasgow. Not been an issue- phone calls, messaging and meeting up when I can go up to home. It's really not hard!

I had 4 bms, 2 guys, a page boy and a flower girl. 2 lived in Aberdeen (approx 600 miles) as did the page and flower girl, one lived near Heathrow and one in Cambridge plus my two guys lived in Crawley. We still made it work! You can do it! TBH I didn't need them for everything but when I did they made the effort and were there! It's your day, have it your way and have who you want not who you feel you should have! X

Please don't worry, I have 3 bridesmaids that live 5hrs drive away, so I went upto them to go bridesmaid dress shopping which was a success and now gives me an excuse (not that I need one) to go up and see them once every 6 months, I'm not worried at all about the distance, I know I have there full support and I know when it comes to the wedding they are going to be with me the day before. It doesn't matter if they are far away but if your friend has said she wants you to ask her again and your closer than ever ask her xxx

Could you compromise and ask her to do a reading instead? That's something quite special just for her but doesn't require trips for special outfits, just emails between the two of you and then any meetings you do have will be for the fun of it