We are going to start sending out our invites soon and we need two little inserts with the invites and we cant think of how to put our words down with out it sounding like we will offend family members. For the day invites we only have limited space so we need family RSVPs by a certain date so if they cant make it we can invite someone else but we understand during these times that if they say yes they may change it closer to the time. Our issue is for the few family members who do say yes but change their minds and not tell us or say no and then turn up anyway. This has happened at past weddings. Our evening ones we need something that says we are more than happy for them to bring their children if they want but could they pay for them? It's only £10 a child however on both sides of the family their are 4 families with 8 children each and we would be happy to pay if we knew they were all definitely coming but £320 + the cost of other children is alot to pay out for them not to turn up. Any help is much appreciated.
I’m afraid, in my opinion, if you’re not willing to cover the cost of the children attending then you don’t invite them. For my evening food the venue have said they charge for 90% capacity as not everyone will eat then. Maybe ask your venue about something like this? Submit a reduced number of evening guests if you think your family will let you down. To be honest, if I had family or friends who I thought would be rude enough to not bother to turn up, I wouldn’t invite them to begin with.
I think you have to be prepared to pay if your having a wedding. Provide an rsvp for evening guests. Make a note of the ones who you think may let you down and ask them a week before if they def coming.
To be honest I don't think you can ask people to pay for children. If you don't want to pay for them don't invite them. Our evening reception is very informal so the numbers are quite uncertain therefore we have done "unlimited" catering for a set price and time length.
If you don’t want to pay for the children don’t invite children is my only advise x
Did no one read they are happy to pay if they all knew they were definitely coming? Or you just think people have money to waste for guest to not bother arriving.
We did consider asking for people to pay the head count for the children to guarantee them bringing them that way they don't say yes then don't bring them and we've lost a place for another guest. Money would have been returned once they arrived with the children. Our venue is really tight for evening space. However we know people ☝ are really judgemental and won't understand where we are coming from or just not understand how limited for space we are. Not everyone is but you don't know until you've asked, as seen above.
We are in the same position we have just under 50 children between both sides of the family and the paying for them isn't the problem its if they don't turn up we could have invited friends in their place.
We also have a set limit which means all our 130 guests are literally just family members at the moment, no friends or colleagues.
We are thinking we are going to have to say its a child free event apart for exceptions, example family who have to travel from a fair distance away and their normal childcare is also at the wedding xx
I'm sure if children are included (ie named) on the invitation they will turn up. Once you've had a reply and their attendance is confirmed, if you deem it necessary, you could just call the parents and just say if there is a change of heart before 4 weeks before the wedding can they please inform you. Venues are used to numbers changing. A general conversation is often much easier to turn to a subject you want to bring up, but personally, I think your are worrying unduly. As a wedding stationer I haven't come across this as being an issue in over 12 years in the industry so chances are if they accept your invitation they'll turn up xxx🤗🧡
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