I am after some advice! One of my parents are terminally ill, I can see them deteriorating each day and I know they will not make my new date. I moved my original wedding date forward in hope that they can still celebrate the day and help plan it but literally weeks before our big day COVID happened. Every time I try to move the date to make sure they can be part of the day, another curve ball is thrown my way. They have had to shield the whole time, I literally got to hug them for the first time last week and now I just get the feel like I can’t do anything! I obviously want them to be there and would love to have a little registry office and maybe a meal but with the new 6 person law coming into play on Monday, it’s not worth me paying out another large sum for me to use the venue for a separate date and it’s not safe for them. Can anyone suggest anything for me?
You could do the ceremony soon and the reception on your planned new date? That way your family could be there to see you married and you celebrate your marriage with everyone else later.... Plus you get to wear your dress twice that way 😉 x
Statutory ceremony costs £50 but you can only have two witnesses. Meal somewhere nice afterwards?
The 6 person law doesn't include weddings... You can still have a wedding with 30 people as the current rules stand :) hope it works out for you x
The 6 people rule doesn’t apply to wedding xx
Do the ceremony! Have your parents there. Little get together afterwards. Take photos but keep them to yourselves so no one sees your dress. Then in your ‘big’ day - have a blessing . Release all your pics together. But have one of you and “poorly parent “ on the side when you have your blessing so that they are with you . I have a friend I’m who’s in a very similar situation - Infact... you may be her ! Good luck hope it all works out.
I did the same so that my Dad could give me away; there were just eight of us- parents, siblings, best man and maid of honour, and we had the reception at our house with M&S sandwiches and nibbles.
It’s nice to have some pictures with him, and people will understand.
I would have the ceremony as that really is the most important part then they can see you walking down the aisle in your dress and watch you take your vows 😊 good luck with whatever you decide xxxx
It would absolutely be worth paying the extra money to have your parent with you.
I unfortunately didn’t have the chance for my dad to walk me down the aisle and I would have given anything!
Money comes and goes, may as well spend it whilst your here. X
The 6 doesn't include weddings you can still have 30 ☺ xxxx
Could you have a blessing instead of a legal ceremony you may not be legally married but at least you do your own vows etc. Do they have a nice garden
Aren't covid safe wedding still up to 30 ish people? Good luck whatever you decide xx
If you change the venue and have already given Notice to Marry then you will have to give notice again for your new venue. If you have already given notice then you could decide to marry at that venue within a couple of days if 2 registrars are available, so maybe just bring the ceremony forward with a meal afterwards. X
30 people for weddings
You can still book weddings of up to 30......its really confusing as the guidance says you can only meet up as a 6 (unless your household or support bubble is bigger) but the guidance for venues regarding weddings and funerals is still 30 people, I think all other events/gatherings have been reduced though. You'll just need to be extra careful and make sure any venue you book has the proper precautions etc in place! Good luck figuring it all out x
We got married on 08th August 2020 for the same reason. We compromised on lots of things, including no reception but it meant we had my mother in law there to see it happen. One of our guests took photos. We had a meal after and booked a hotel for the night. We are going to have a blessing and reception next year on our 1st anniversary. It's worth it and every where are so strict on distancing etc or shouldn't be an issue. Good luck xx
Small ceremony/blessing with parents now and a lovely day together then a big party with everyone else when all this is over with 💕 make some lovely memories while you can, thinking of you 💕
I lost my dad suddenly a couple of days before my wedding, I wish I’d had him there obviously and regret not at least showing him my dress rather than keeping it as a surprise, I’d Defo have the ceremony with only parents before hand and a meal, then keep the main wedding for the date you have booked and have that as a blessing ceremony and a reception with everyone else. alternatively you could have a celebrant come to you and have a blessing in your dress with your parents there, they will even come to your garden as doesn’t have to be anywhere in particular legally, thinking of you xx
you can still gave 30 for a wedding reception xx
As others have said weddings can go ahead with 30 people still x
Its a different situation to yours however myself and my husband got engaged Oct 2018 and planned to get married on June 1st 2019. In between us getting engaged and our wedding date coming around my husband became very poorly and spent the best part of 2019 in hospital. We decided between ourselves that we would postpone the wedding until he got better so that we could both enjoy our wedding day. However it got to a point where the chance of him getting better was very slim. With this in mind we decided we would get married in the critical care unit of the hospital and hopefully renew our vowels at such a time when he got better. Although we had planned a service with loads of our friends and family and a massive reception, in the end it was just myself, my husband the nurses and drs who had been looking after him and my sister and best friend. It wasn't any less special than if we had done it the way we originally intended. 11 days later my husband passed away. Looking back I'm so glad we didn't wait and although not the outcome any of us wanted i am so privalidged to have had the chance to marry my best friend. If you have the opportunity to get married with both of your parents present I would take it. I would have regretted it for the rest of my life had we waited. I hope this helps even though the situation is not the same xx
I moved my wedding date forward so my mum could walk me down the Isle and be part of my wedding whilst she still could she had stage 4 meloma cancer 6 months later she passed peacefully. She walked me down the Isle as my dad sadly passed 2 years earlier of a brain hemorrhage. X
Hold a "ceremony" dress up. Write some vows and celebrate the day after. An unofficial wedding x
The six person rule doesn’t apply to weddings. I hope that helps
If you can't do the registry office could you have a ceremony for you and hubby 2 be and your mom ect. Do your vows exchange rings so it like a wedding then have the legal part after on the date planned that way mom gets to be part of your day. I was heart broken my dad wasn't able to give me away.
Years later I still hurt over it and I would have paid out millions if I coukd of just to have him there.
Saying that however your wedding will be perfect it's about your love for one another you will enjoy your day soon as you look on his eyes and say your vows everything is great nothing can take that away. Xx I hope your mom can fight longer to be there for you. Xx
We moved our date for similar reasons from this November until next November. Sadly my dad passed away from leukaemia in August, I now feel better that I moved the date because he wouldn't have been able to get to our original date anyway. I've now got to spend one of the happiest days of my life without neither of my parents there as I lost my mam when I was 15 too
We bought our wedding forward in hope my Dad would still be with us but he passed just under 3 months before 🙁
I would have a small ceromony and then maybe a meal just you, your husband (children? ) and Parents.
Sorry to hear your news x
Everyone thinks of a wedding as a big party with a big pooffy dress...it's not. Or at least it shouldn't be just that. People that really love each other, should find memorable ways to get married to celebrate their love...that's what it should be about. Better than a registry office, now in the UK one can get married pretty much anywhere; having a social distance outdoor ceremony at a gazebo or waterfront can have more meaning...have a small ceremony maybe at a place that the terminally ill parents used to take you...like a fav park where you used to picnic as a kid, a fav pub or even your parents backyard...perhaps make it something that was memorable for you and that parent, so they feel like they shared that with you as a child and here you are all grown up. You can do the big meringue thing with hundreds of guests later, but right now focus on the love shared...I am sorry to say, this terminally ill parent has already suffered enough, they deserve a chance to see the wedding, because they won't get to see grandchildren or anything else. Make an intimate event, a 'minimony' that has meaning to the immediate people involved. I'd say the same thing for couples in love that parents dissaprove; at some point it is about the love [not a big party with hundreds of people that are there to party], but about the love shared between two people and those that truly love them...Off my soap box now. When people let Covid dictate their lives, I think they lose a lot about what really matters...
One of my cousins had the same situation not long ago. She ended up having a blessing and a meal with her Dad which I know she really appreciated, she unfortunately then lost him not long after but this time was so precious for her. Her actual original wedding date is still going ahead next year.
I got married last year and I can safely say that in the end the most important part is having the registrar there and exchanging vows and rings with your partner! It's lovely having all your family and friends there but if they weren't and it was just a small gathering with parents, grandparents, siblings it would mean just as much 😊 at the end of it all you can have a massive reception party with all the people in the world and maybe a small blessing if you still want the feel of your wedding day, but the official marriage is the most important part of it all and it's definitely worth doing with the most important people still around x
For weddings i'm sure it's still 30 guests x
Just move it to as soon as possible so your parents can be there and do it with whatever restrictions you can. My husbands nanna is 90 and wouldn't have made it to next year. We hung on changing it, hoping for our original date. We did manage to get married on our date the 11th of July but with 22 people in the church instead of 200 and then we bought a marquee and had the same 22 in our garden after. At the time you couldn't have receptions at all. We will do a big celebration when restrictions have lifted but we had the most amazing day and we're so happy wr got to get married with nanna there. Good luck xx
My friend had a blessing at her parents house because her mum was terminally ill. It was just them and their parents, not even their siblings went because of Covid-19. But it was really special for them and her mum really appreciated it. She even wore a simple white dress for the occasion.
Have a small wedding celebration with them there. Sorry, you must feel so down. They’ll love being a part of your special day💓
The rule doesn’t apply to ‘Covid safe’ weddings. I think that means socially distanced ones