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UKbride Member Request 19 Jul 2020

We have recently started looking at wedding venues after having to delay due...

We have recently started looking at wedding venues after having to delay due to lockdown. The first venue we visited I fell in love with, it has always been my number one to want to view when researching online. The problem is that dates at this venue are extremely limited for the year we want to marry and would mean doing it on a week day. A lot of my family are teachers and as it won't be in the school holidays they have expressed that they would prefer it to be a weekend so it is easier for them to attend. Plus it would mean my nieces and nephews will not have to miss any time off school which my sisters are quite strict about. We have since viewed a second venue that is in the process of being built so only had a building site and photos of the finished venue to see. They have availability on a weekend the time of year we would like but these pictures did not give me the same feeling as the first venue, particularly in the ceremony room as isn't quite what I had envisioned, but the grounds are beautiful and much larger for photo opportunites. Do I go with a venue I may not be 100% happy with to make it easier for family to attend and keep them happy or go with my heart but risk feeling selfish?

46 Comments
Verity Cunningham
Verity Cunningham 19 Jul 2020

As a teacher, I know it's possible to get a day off during non-holiday weeks, although these are unpaid and do depend on the headteacher!

I'm getting married next year on a weekday, but I have managed to find a date that is during a half term. Maybe that would be possible - what time of year have you chosen?

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Maybe try finding another venue?

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I would do what makes u happy it’s your wedding day no one else’s. Don’t take another venue then look back and regrete it. Could u look at a different year to have it on a weekend? X

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I get married on a Friday, I have 2 family members that work in a school. Both can have the time off. One being my step mum who is having more than 1 day. It is possible. Go with what you want it’s your day. It would of been easier to get married on a weekend but we didn’t want that. We went with what we wanted. Good luck. X

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

It is yours and your partner’s day so you need to be sure that you listen to your heart and that whatever you decide you will be happy with the outcome. I don’t think personally I would be able to book a venue without viewing it properly as pictures are often far from what it looks like in reality. It also depends if you would be happy with some people not being able to attend if it’s in the week. In all honesty you will never be able to cater to everybody’s needs, some people might be working weekends and not able to attend on a weekend etc. Anybody that really wants to be there to celebrate with you will find a way to do it. X

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

1st venue 100%. You're doing this day for you and your partner. Understandably you want the most important people there, and they will be if they want to be. Yes it may be a slight inconvenience for some but you cant please everybody. Maybe put off til the following year when more suitable dates are available. You and your partner need to weigh up what is most important and go from there. Xx

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

The wedding is for you and your partner. 100% go with your heart.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Im getting married on a weekday. Me and my partner are getting married on Tuesday 14th 2023 because of it being a lot cheaper! We absolutely love the venue we’ve chosen and it also falls in half term that year so its perfect for all our guests but I would go with the first venue 100%!! If you and your partner love it then go for it. People will accomodate for you if they want to go 😊

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Go for the venue you are most happy with... I'm a teacher and I was able to get my Friday wedding off work.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Why not view some more venues? Why does it have to be the first one or one that isn’t even built only? You might view another one that you love. We viewed about 13 venues.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I would say if you love the 1st venue go for it but be prepared for the teachers not to be able to come, some schools it's very difficult/ almost impossible to get time off for weddings unless it's like your sisters. It's not them trying to be awkward it's just the reality of the job

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Maybe look at the school holidays I'm get married in th school. Holiday as it make it Easyer all round xx

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

You could always have a look at a few more venues to really make sure the first venue is definitely the one.
I'm having to have a weekend date due to guests working in schools, it's going to cost a bit more but I really want them to be there. So when looking at venues I kept this in mind.
We looked at plenty and when we found the one we knew and I didn't mind paying the extra. We did keep comparing venues to one we loved it just didn't have any grounds we saw at least 10 after then came across one that just topped the one we originally fell in love with. The only downside is public transport will be difficult for those without vehicles. I'd be willing (and have done in the past) to make numerous changes to get there for others so I'd assume they would for me.
When we found our venue any concerns went out the window...

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Personally I would rather have my family there as they are who I want to spend my special day with. Yes the venue might not be as good but you can do a lot to the venue and its about who you want to be there.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

My best friend is a teacher and for me it was more important having her at our wedding than any venue every could be, you need to weigh up whats more important a room and how its looks or the people who might not be able to come. Also speak to these people they may be able to get the time off and then that may help your decision, or even look at a later ceremony time and have the best of everything

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I would seriously consider viewing other places. I had so many people I cared about that are teachers I wouldn't have compromised and gone for a week day. But I suppose it depends on how much you want those people there, I would have got married anywhere as long as I had those around me I cared about x

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Is the first venue not available on any weekdays during school holiday time? That would solve both problems! If not then I would go with the venue you love. My mum and I both work in schools and we're allowed days off for my cousins wedding which was a weekday. I wouldn't say its selfish for wanting the venue you love for your wedding day! Noone else can tell you how important it is it you, different people have different parts of their weddings that are important to them, if you love the venue then go for it 😊

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

It’s your day don’t compromise have what you want ! those that are truly important no matter what day will Be there and if people
Can’t Be there they can see the photos after it’s about you and your husband not your family xx I never felt guilty when I chose a Monday 😂

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I would agree with people suggesting to see the places first. Photos on websites can be very alluring but when you go you find that they are taken in a very flattering way of the venue that you might find you prefer the other. Or you'll find yourself confirming your first impressions and finding a way to make a mid week work.

I am a teacher also, policy at the schools I've worked at have always been only allowed the day off unpaid for immediate family weddings. Maybe different in other schools.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

We got married on a Thursday and had no one that couldn’t attend due to it being a weekday. My sister in law is a teacher and she was able to come, as well as lots of others who work during the week. If enough notice is given arrangements can be made

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I'm a teacher, and I would not be allowed time off for a wedding unless it was a brother or sister. It would also be unpaid, and children being taken out could receive a fine for missing school. It's totally your choice, you could try doing a late ceremony on a weekday, say 4-5pm so anyone close can possibly work a school day and still come. If anyone had to travel a distance who is a teacher it will probably be a no go for them as there is no way I would be given more than one day off. I have had to decline very close friends weddings because of it. I would discuss it with the people you really want there and see what might work.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Personally my outlook on this would be it is ur wedding. U are not getting married to please other people its ur day and u should be able to do it the way u want it.. u shouldnt be worrying about trying to suit guests. At the end of the day if ur wedding is important enough to them they will make the effort regardless of what day it is or what time of year. I may sound selfish but ive had to apply this persepctive to my own wedding planning. My family reassure me that its our day and we have to do what makes us happy and what suits us. Not every1 else. You do you! ❤

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I'm afraid that you will probably find most venues are well booked up for 2021 and even into 2022. The virus has delayed a good 6 months of weddings.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Can u do it on a weekday in the kids holidays so everyone wins

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

We got married on a weekday (at the time we booked I
I worked in dementia care and when we got married I was a teacher).

My school gave me a week off because I told them about it during interview. But three of my friends could only attend the reception and one of my bridesmaids had to tell her school I was her sister so she could come.

If there are people you have to have there in order to have the day you want, you will have to marry on a weekend I'm afraid.

Maybe aim for a late afternoon slot? We married at 3 so even though my friends missed the ceremony they were able to attend to reception for first dance, dinner, speeches e.t.c.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Be selfish !! Its your wedding ! You do whats best for you you simply cant please everyone however if its important to them they will make the effort xx

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I personally don't want to compromise my family's ability to attend. I'd settle for 2nd venue to me the most important thing is our families being there to share our day. Xx

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Only you know how important those friends are. I am a teacher but also My MOH is a teacher. Although my school would have allowed me time off, my MOH wouldn't have been so I wouldn't have even considered a day where she couldn't attend, but if it was a more distant relative who you would like to come but it wouldn't ruin your day if they weren't there, go with your venue. Unfortunately, people who say "if they want to be there, they will" don't understand that schools simply don't allow time off for anything except weddings and funerals of immediate family and as others have said, that too would be unpaid.
As others have said, I wouldn't book a venue I hadn't seen. As we were looking 3 years before, the venue were open with us that they were making some changes (for the better, I might add) but the room itself and the golf course it was on were staying the same.
I know one person who had their wedding on a Friday evening, relatively late so people could attend after work finished but with the Saturday to lie in. Alternatively look at Sundays/Mondays when there are bank holidays as most schools are off on those days.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Consider postponing for another year if they have more weekend dates available at your chosen venue? Then you get the best of both worlds which I think is well worth the wait. X

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I think it depends on what is important to you, is it the nice room or spending the day with more family and friends

Personally speaking I got married in 2019 and although its nice to have a nice place to marry its the family, friends and loved ones i remember.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

If your wedding is in an afternoon, your teacher friends/family may find getting an afternoon off easier than a whole day. If they still can't get the time off, our close friends got married on a Friday and my husband managed to leave work as soon as school finished and got to the venue in time for the speeches and food. That would mean they'd perhaps miss the ceremony but would be there to enjoy the rest of the day with you. In terms of the children missing school, if it was me, and the bride/groom were close family, I'd probably just call in and say they were sick that day. Missing one day for a family occasion isn't going to impact their education.
It really depends if you'll always look back at your photos wishing you'd chosen the venue you loved or wishing you'd chosen the venue everyone could have come to.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I was supposed to get married this september on a saturday and because of everything that has gone on we have had to postpone to next year. The only dates available were fridays so thats what we have to pick a few of my family work in education too and they all said they will be there with bells on fortunately for us. But truthfully if there had been an issue I cant see what problem it would be getting time off school for a wedding and kids have just missed 4/5 month of school so what difference would one day make. Also I work in retail and I take plenty weekends off for peoples weddings and other occasions so people working in education should atleast try and do the same. So honestly id have your day your way and the people that matter and want to be there will be there :)

P.S sorry if I sound awful but when you've waited 3 years to get married and now have to wait another year I hate seeing other brides stressing over stuff like this! Hope you get what YOU want for YOUR day xx

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

A lot of dates for 2021 and 2022 will be taken with 2020 postponed weddings too, which doesn’t help. I’d say, if you know in your gut a place is right for you and you won’t be happy anywhere else go for it whenever they have availability, even if it delays it by a few years so your close friends can come on a weekend or it is on a week day and some people might have to make exceptions. A venue may even have a cancellation list if a previous booked date gets moved? It is your day and your partners, no one else’s, you gotta go with your gut 😊 best of luck 💕

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

You say so I have a date which will make them happy. Surely a date we’re your immediately family can attend would be what you want too? If not I’d go with that venue, otherwise keep looking til you find one you are happy with that has a date you want x

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Go with your gut instinct... I only had wow factor with one venue which is one we chose... its taken me ages to accept that its my wedding(and fiances of course lol), not everyone else's. Stick with what you want to do. Xx

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I’m a wedding videographer and recently married. Weekday weddings are becoming the norm and more and more popular. What year are you aiming for? If I’m honest, my gut tells me that weddings won’t be “normal” for several years so if you’re planning a big wedding then I’d push it back and go for the venue you really want on the date you want but in a few years. It’s nice to have plenty of time to plan anyway. If you’re planning something more intimate then go with the weekday wedding, people will book the day off if you’re important to them. Good luck x

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

How about delaying an extra year so you can get the venue your heart is set on on a weekend?

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

*Lesson learned* no matter what you do, people will moan. You could turn the world upside-down for your guests and they'd still bitch about it. Do what feels right in your heart, if your first venue feels like magic, go with it. You only get to do it once and its your day. If people really want to be there and you give enough notice, they'll work around you xxx

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

I was in a similar situation to you. Found the dream venue but absolutely no availbility for next year when I was hoping to get married - except for during the week. As both of our sisters are teachers, we decided to postpone for a year rather than settle for a venue that we wouldn't be completely happy with, or risk them not being able to attend.

Ultimately I would say is that it's your day so do whatever will make you happy :) Best of luck x

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Look at more venues, we looked at several before we chose ours. You may find one you love more.

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

It is YOUR wedding day, so if you want the first venue go for it...the people that really matter will make sure that they are there! I got married on a Sunday, everyone we invited came and even the ones with kids who had school the next day stayed to enjoy the evening! I wouldn’t have changed our wedding day for anyone 😊 Hope this helps

UKbride Member 20 Jul 2020

Go with exactly what YOU want 🙂

UKbride Member 21 Jul 2020

It’s your day not there’s they can come to the after party in the night

UKbride Member 21 Jul 2020

I didnt get the wedding i wanted, but it was a celebration i shared with my most important family and friends. The wedding was special because who was there, shared my day :)

UKbride Member 21 Jul 2020

Teachers wouldn't be able to get time off in week and children can't either sometimes without facing fines.

UKbride Member 5 Aug 2020

UKBride. If you knew that your supplier portal how no information what so ever about when your supplier's contracts are coming to an end, any information on how to cancel or even a button to cancel. What could you do differently?

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