Please can I have opinions... The person who said they wanted to pay for my dress and accessories as wedding gift has refused to let anyone, even me as the bride, have the dress before the wedding because they paid for it. Am I being difficult/dramatic that I'd like to store it myself to know it's OK? I understand traditions etc. people may have but we're having a very non traditional relaxed wedding so I didn't think it was too much to ask that I had my own dress before my wedding? Thank you
Is this a tradition? I would want the dress for peace of mind and to build excitement. I don’t think that’s too much to ask xx
Wow no way i would want the dress i think theyre out of order. Just because they offered to pay doesnt mean they keep the dress
Nope. Nada. Not a chance.
Not a tradition iv heard of? I would want the dress with me personally so I know I have everything I need to get ready, at least the night before.
What? Nah, get that dress. They may have paid for it, but it's not theirs and they can't wear. Also it's a gift, hand the pressie over to the bride!
Offering to pay does not give them a right to be involved, a gift like that is amazing, but it's a gift, no strings attached, it's not a loan
That's really weird
I would want my dress, to match things, to make sure my weight, body shape doesn't change, to try on with shoes, tiara, veil etc......and because it's mine .... You don't buy people gifts with conditions x
Why would they keep the dress? How would you know it was all okay and fitted well before the wedding? I’d see if you can get yourself tour own dress because you may well end up without a dress on the day if you don’t
Erm nope that sounds all wrong. What if the dress doesn’t fit? Needs alterations? Accessories don’t match? etc bit late just before the wedding
I personally wouldn’t accept a dress or anything off of anyone who wanted to keep it themselves til the day. You don’t know if they will change their mind and you’ll be left with no dress 🤔
Just to clarify.. you have chose them yourself??? .... no I dont think your being unreasonable at all.
I had this problem, my mum bought it and she's really superstitious but she also smokes heavily in her house, I told her I would take it to be stored at a seamstresses until I need alterations but it's really in a wardrobe in my daughters room!
Bizarre!! I'd decline the offer of payment for the dress if it comes with outrageous conditions.
No ur not hun u need the dress to keep trying it on to make sure it fits u may loose or gain slight weight so come the day u try on ur dress and it don’t fit of I was u offer to paye th back give them small deposit ect x
No they're out of order. You should have your own dress.
It depends on your relationship with the person. My Aunty made my dress and she kept hold of it until the day of the wedding.
To be fair I had nowhere to store it without my h2b seeing it and I trust her explicitly, I knew it would get to my venue. In fact I didn't see it until the morning of my wedding when she brought the dress and bridesmaids dresses to my hotel room,as she wanted to dress me.
I had seen the completed dress though so knew what it was like and that it fit, etc. But you have the right to choose if you want to have the dress before the wedding. X
Mine went to my mums, then seamstress had it for two months then we picked it up two days before the wedding, and it went to my mums but I was getting ready there on the morning but if I'd of wanted it at home I could of taken it and my mum bought my dress and sister and brother in law the accessories and no one ever questioned where it had to be stored, I'd buy my own if they are going to be like that xxx
Why wouldn't she want to give it to you, what if it needs altered. Sounds like your aunt is a control freak. Maybe a relative could speak to her and ask what the issue is.
Don't be beholden to anyone with their conditions. Buy your own dress and you will feel happier.what do they think you are going to do with it? Do they want it back after the wedding? My mum and dad bought my dress, tiara etc and there were no strings attached x
Have you even seen the dress? If you haven't then I totally agree you should have it. Also, I wasn't aware that keeping something after offering to buy something for someone else was a thing. Surly if you buy someone something you want them to have it?
What the... Why wouldn't they let you have YOUR dress? This person is crazy
My parents bought my dress. It is being stored at their house til i need to take it for alterations, not because they said so but because i asked them to store it for me. I know that if i wanted i could go and get it with no problems. I think maybe you need to explain your worries to them, if they don't understand you might end up having to buy your own dress x
My dress was kept at my mums house as I had no where to put it tbh, but it wasn’t until after the final fitting. I also didn’t want my husband to be to see anything to do with the dress at all. My dress was absolutely fine ☺️. X
My wonderful nan Sheila Hughes bought mine, it's at hers with no problem of her keeping it safe but I know I can also try it on if I need to at any point 😘
Depends on your relationship with them and if your comfortable leaving it with them, I left my dress at my grandmother in laws house, we have a really good relationship and shes got a spare room with empty wardrobe so I knew it would be safe and untouched in there. Of you're not comfortable with it you really need to speak to the perdon calmly and just tell them that for your peace if mind you would prefer to store it xx
No way you need your dress never heard of such a thing buy another yourself x
It’s different if you are happy for someone to store it if it’s your choice but this shouldn’t be dictated to you. Quite controlling if I’m honest and not considering your feelings.
Make it clear. Your decision, your dress xx
I kept mine at my nans as she had an big empty room and I was bring bits for the wedding to hers to store as had a busy household. Then started picking bits up when needed left mine and bridesmaid dresses to last to collect the day before so everything was ready for the big day. Its ur big day do what u feel right if u want it with u have it at urs I only put it at my nans to stop me trying to wear it all the time xx
That's a bit... controlling. My.bridesmaid offered to store mine as I knew full well I'd end up getting caught playing dress up in it hahaha
Id go and buy a new one or tell them keep it if there is conditions as somenody said u need to make sure it fits. I stored mine at mi mums then month before wedding took it to shop i bought from as she as seamstress then few weeks before took shoes veil tiara and tried everything on it fitted perfectly. Kept it at shop to save with veil as she was steam cleaning it the thursday for me picking it up day before wedding i had no problems with them letting me try on tho
To be honest, the wedding dress store kept mine until the day before as they need to keep it clean and steam it so its fresh for the day, so maybe that's an option for you. Also... if it's a gift, it's a gift so its either yours or it's not?..
Have you even tried it on? Wow I'd be gutted if my dress was held hostage.
Sounds like a bad case of control to me. The dress is for you, you should have it or go buy another.
I would just speak to them and say that you are so grateful for their contribution towards your wedding but you would like to have your dress with you and you are very firm on this point. Don’t give reasons, it is your wedding. The worst that can happen is they say fine, I won’t pay but the they are stuck with a dress etc. If your husband to be is closer to them, get him to say it. Good luck. X
My Mum bought my dress and is keeping it at hers (360 miles from me). I didn't know it was a tradition, just made sense as I live with H2B and have a very naughty kitten so it's less likely to be seen at hers. She's going to do alterations when I visit 1-2 months before wedding and then she'll bring it down with her 2 days before wedding. Really works for me as if I had it here I'd probably try it on and damage it.
My Sister (also my maid of honour) kindly stored mine at her place as she had space for it and I didn’t (plus hubby to be would have seen it at ours). I knew it was safe and I could try it on whenever I wanted. Your issue seems more to be about concerns of access/control? No-one should have the power to hold your dress over you - even if they bought it, it‘s your wedding dress and if you want it at your place then that’s where it should be!
I’ve had mine as a god send to match stuff to. And for alterations. And to just randomly stare at when I’m feeling stressed and wanna see it again x
I’d want it. That’s so weird that person won’t let you have it ? I’d go and buy my own and tell them to keep it