Nicolle Vincent
Nicolle Vincent 30 Dec 2019

Guest List Dilemas!

Anyone else struggle with the guest list for the day? We want to try achieve a wedding within a budget which would = less guests but people will then say "oh your auntie & uncle" who I love to pieces but not seen in years! Best way to sort the list?

43 Comments
UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Invite people like that to the evening do? Evening guests are much cheaper then they’ve still been invited x

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We're inviting close friends and family (40) to the day doing a buffet and then everyone can come in the evening

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We're inviting close family and friends to day time which is 65 people ish then whoever to evening

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Hopefully people will understand if your day do is limited numbers, everyone knows that weddings are expensive. Invite everyone else to the evening

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Invite the people you can’t imagine not being there on the day seeing you walking down the aisle.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I'm organising mine and have only invited the closest friends and family in the day and friends that I don't see that often but are important to me in the evening.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Invite the people you see on a regular basis and invite the rest to the after do.. Easiest way to do it!

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Personally I invited my parents, brothers sisters. Nieces nephews and my auntys and uncles but it depends where your having your wedding xxx

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

the H2B and i have had the same issues and honestly we went with... who do we actually want to be there, who do we want to see on our special day. but equally if you havent seen people in years and they havent bothered with you just as much.... why pay for them on your big day. the day is expensive enough as it is.

We decided that some of the people we still wanted to see.... so we invited them to the evening. It's cheaper but they are still invited. At the end of the day its your day no one else.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We have a limited space for ceremony so only inviting close family and friends, and we also have a member of his family trying to interfere and tell us to invite some of his family ive never met. We have put our foot down and not changing the guest list as its our day and we are paying.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Honestly you've just got to be brutal. Need to have a cut off at some point. Just invite who YOU want, don't listen to anyone else!

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Invite your nearest and dearest all day and if you have space an evening invite at least guests cant say they havent been invited

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

It works out cheaper to buy a package and add people on than to get a bigger package....xx

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Invite immediate family and close friend (what we are doing) as our ceremony area will be small!
The invite others later! 🙂 just explain that it’s not malice and it’s to keep in budget!

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Be brutal i didn’t have my sister and nieces and nephews at mine. I don’t have a relationship with them and we don’t talk. Put what you want first not everyone else its your day and your money!👍🏻

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We struggled and had so many versions of our guest list! But in the end, we said we wouldn't invite anyone to the whole day who we hadn't seen or talked to in the last 2 years. Anyone else we wanted, we invited to the evening. We also only automatically allowed 1s where we could name them or they were engaged or married; any other 1s had to be asked for by the guest and we had the right to say no. It was hard, but it was such a lovely day in the end with all the right people there at the right time.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Close family & friends. I didn't invite family I don't see as none of them have really met my partner, we had 50 guests. But I chose just family I see a lot and close friends xxx

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

My fiancé is the only child but my family there is ten of us and all of our children and their wives/husband's etc. I'm doing the guest list because my side of the family outweighs my fiance's. I'm doing the list today so I know who I'm inviting. It's 50 people max so choosing carefully but will get invited to the party

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I’ve been quite savage ... can I just bring my .... it’s a no from me 😂😂 my day my way xxxx

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

You have to be ruthless. It's your day and your money, weve said immediate family and close friends. No contact in 6 months, not coming. Weve had to be brutal with plus 1s to the day too. And children. People wont like it, but its not their wedding. If they choose bot to come over it, then they arent real friends. I know it sounds harsh, but people will understand.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Be ruthless if you haven't spoken to them in over a year then put them as evening. You can always make a list of people who you would bump to day if room becomes available. Also we aren't doing plus ones unless they have been in a long term relationship with the person or are married,

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I’ve been ruthless. Those aunties and uncles I haven’t seen or spoken to for years, sorry but you’re not invited 🤷🏻‍♀️

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

My family is massive and my partners is only very small. We had to cut back on numbers so started thinking about who we genuinely love, who genuinely loves us and who will make our day special. My family originally wanted me to invite random cousins but I put my foot down. My theory is if they don’t know where I currently live or I don’t know their phone number there’s no invite.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

My Daughter getting married in July what she's done is close family and friends in the day and 1st 2nd cousin friends can all come to the evening if they wish to and that sounds good to me

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I'm writing my invites currently. Weve allocated certain people plus ones (mainly long term partners / children ) but if weve never met their partners / children or not seen them in 6 months up to christmas and new year theyve been cut - including family

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I would send day invites out to family etc and see how many rsvp we’ve had some people unable to make ours so considering inviting others to the day

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Ive done the if i havent spoken to you for upto 6 months your not invited. Also i asked myself would i pay for their meal

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I am battling the same thing. I wanted our wedding to be one full of people who are 'present and active' in our lives. Its gone from a list of 48 to 80 as my H2B has either invited people when drunk or is inviting people to bring joy to other relatives. I've said, if that's the case he can pay for them - which he has agreed to. So if your mum and dad are expecting it say, that's fine we'll have them if you pay for them xx

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We did the same, close family and friends for the day, the we invited others to the evening. We were very honest and told people this is what we were doing, people don’t mind if they care about you xxxx

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We wanted the bare minimum....... No aunt's and uncles, no cousins..... As I rarely see them...... But this caused problems with my father...... In fairness to him, he paid for half the wedding so we compromised and caved to aunt's and uncles but no cousins. Nearly got away with it but one night my dad got drunk and told one of my cousins about the wedding, they assumed that they were invited and bought plane tickets from America (where they live) and booked a room in the hotel we were getting married in, so I had to let one cousin and wife squeak through...... They turned up really early...... Before every one else..... So they could help me set up for the day...... I couldn't have managed without them...... Best accidental invite ever.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I invited who I wanted to share my day. That’s it. Who you want to be there. Everyone else doesn’t matter

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Omg it's a nightmare, especially when people are saying they have booked the day/Eve off 🙄 I have now said weather it's family or friends, if I haven't heard from you in the last year, or we have not been invited to get togethers or events in the past year, then please don't expect a night out on us. We have a budget and limited space. Amazing how many people come out the wood work when there's a wedding.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

My husband told his mum no when they were walking the dogs and shut her down early. Then when we had some cancellations we agreed 2 friends of hers but that was it as it was our day x

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Lyn Joyce see I’m not being too brutal with who’s not invited 🤣

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We had this problem. It resulted in us having to say we cannot afford them but if you want us to invite them you have to pay for them. Initially this caused further problem because my mum agreed to pay for her sisters and their familys but mum in law did not. Resulted in my h2b's uncle offering to pay for his children to attend. Now everyone is happy.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

tbh I wish I invited more as half of my guests stayed yes on the day no show make sure do people u know defo attend once people say yes or no u no where u stand then u can in bit more

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

I went tough an said we got a package that does blah many I’m not going over. We paid for the wedding ourselves so really had more say than some.

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

We’ve struggled with our guest list and I have a big family, we also didn’t want to say no children as it is a family occasion 😬 but it’s your wedding day so invite who you would like there try not to be influenced by parents 😊

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

It’s impossible to invite everybody, if we invited everybody we “like” we’d be nearing 300, I knew that if I invited certain ones, others would question where there invite was, so instead, I’ve done neither. 87 to the day, and around 130/150 to the night and it’s still over budget anyway. It’s so stressful trying to sort a seating plan, I’m pulling my hair out!!!!!

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

Dont listen to everyone else, dont try to please anyone but yourselves. Invite who YOU and your htb want there if people dont like it tough its not their day its YOURS. So invite the people that youll be happy to have there

UKbride Member 7 Jan 2020

My daughter got married Christmas she made her list up on people that have input in their lives now and who they wanted in their future lives together. You should have people that mean something to you both. It's your wedding nobody elses not your parents or in laws choices unless that person is important to you. Weddings are expensive why would you invite someone to your special day when you have only seen them once In a year or 5 years if you know what I mean. You are only getting married once so have people you want to share your special day.

UKbride Member 8 Jan 2020

Dont invite people you don't/ haven't seen in the last year, also don't invite people from work that you wouldn't usually spend time with outside of work

UKbride Member 8 Jan 2020

Haha I wish I knew 😂 I’ve ended up with 50 people than I planned originally 😭😂

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