What does everyone do with regards to guests partners ? Not if they’re married obviously . But I have cousins / friends who have girlfriends/ boyfriends . Am I meant to count them aswel ? Most of them I have only met once or twice . I have such a limited guest list unless I pay a lot extra pp to include them . I feel selfish but it just all adds up doesn’t it . Tia x
If they’ve not been together a while or you barley know them I’d say no to the day do and yes to the evening. It can get so expensive and so frustrating for you. Don’t stress too much. And if your friends or cousins aren’t happy about it that’s their own problem unless they’re willing to pay all that money themselves for their partners to attend!
We did. No ring, no children together, less than 3years no invite to day yes to evening if willing to wait around. Sound harsh but we had a 140 without inviting everyone boyfriend/ girlfriends xx
I would say only immediate family and closest friends get boyfriend/girlfriend invites, so that’s really just siblings and if you want maybe first cousins depending on how close you are. Spouses are different as married couples should be invited as a pair
This is the dilemma we have. We're from two big families and most of our family and friends have partners/kids. We're having family only kids cos I couldn't leave them out, and if the partners have been around less than a year or we hardly know them then they're evening only x
We did initially state "no ring, no bring" but we've made a couple if exceptions with some family members for ceremony but evening guests, unless partners are known, invite us e, tended to said person only x
My rule was if they had been together x amount off time then yes
We’ve done it so if they aren’t living together, no plus one. Some might find it restrictive but it’s your day 🤷🏻♀️
We didn't do any plus ones for guests at all.
But we allowed my siblings to bring a plus one as my husband elderly grandparents dropped out 4 days before our wedding and didn't want to lose £300. X
We invited everyone with partners (unless we knew for definite they were single then obviously not). I just felt really bad for anybody having to attend on their own especially if they didn’t know many people on the day. Also I thought who am I to judge whether their relationship is “serious” enough or not. I mean some people know it is going to be forever early on (me being one of them), not everybody gets married (so seems ridiculous to exclude somebody just because they are not married). We had to cut the numbers down in other ways (i.e. didn’t invite all of the cousins as some of them we are not close to anyway, only the closest ones really). I don’t agree with saying married couples should be invited as a pair and not married shouldn’t - that’s an extremely outdated view in my opinion. And do you want people to enjoy themselves at your wedding or not? I attended some weddings on my own and there were times when I felt like a spare wheel as I didn’t really have anybody to dance with etc. Also if somebody invited me to the day and my partner just to the evening I probably would also just turn up to the evening do only.
I think it should go by how long they have been with the partners, dosent seem right to me just inviting them if they are married as people get married at diffrent stages of their lives so potentially you could be inviting someone thats married that say got married after 2 years together and not invite a someone thats not married but been together 10 years if you go by the no ring rule
Ive decided for mine il going to name the people im inviting and if they want to bring anyone not named to let me know in advance and they pay for them, that includes partners or children i dont know
Most people won't bother coming if their partners aren't invited xx
We have said u less people have been together for 2 years then they don't get plus ones as we just can't afford it plus we don't want strangers at our wedding. We have said they can invite them to the reception though x
I'd say it depends how close you are to them and how long they've been together. If it's a second cousin you hardly see, and you've never met their partner of 6 months, don't bother; if it's a close cousin with a partner of 10 years that they're not married to, then yes. As long as you're consistent with regard to equivalent 'position', people should be ok with it. Invite the partner to the evening do. Also, talk to people about it. If they're prepared in advance as to why you've made the decisions that you have, they're less likely to be arsey about it! We did this with children at our wedding, just messaged people with a 'save the date' message and let them know that, while the wedding wasn't child-free, to keep in mind that if everyone brought all their children our numbers doubled! Most people, especially those with children that we didn't really know, were happy to have a kid-free day!
The one I've met is coming, other than that I'm afraid i don't have the room!
We done just family then there partners could come along to the evening for cousin's and so on x
If they are in committed relationships it goes without saying that they get invites. In the end I’m a firm believer in do it right or not at all. For those in new relationships I invite to the evening do. In the end how will you ever meet them otherwise?
We're saying only partners we've met, at the end of the day it's your wedding to be surrounded by the people you know
It is your day and you want to spend it with those who really count. Maybe invite them to the evening? The sit down is the expensive bit x
I’m surprised that everybody invites so many people who’s partners/children they don’t even know. If you haven’t met their loved ones than maybe you are not that close to them yourself? Maybe just don’t invite them full stop. Or evening only.
I’ve not invited partners unless they been together a really long time but I have give the option for them to pay for themselves because at 28 a head I just can’t afford it x
I invited them to the reception. I explained to my friends that we had minimal space at the actual wedding and they were all perfectly fine with it.
I've slashed loads of peoples partners off our list (yes even spouses) haha purely because we wanted a small wedding and numbers were getting out of hand, plus I realised that if I don't personally know them, then why the hell am I inviting them just to keep everyone else happy? It's my wedding. Might sound harsh but who cares? We spend far too much of our lives worrying what other people think as it is, why do it on the most important day of your life? It's your time to be selfish! 😜
I am only inviting them if I know them well. I have friends who's other halves I have never met and others who I've only met 2 of 3 times and we are extremely limited on numbers x
I would say, if they live together or have been together a few years, then it's no different to being married and they should be invited, especially if they are travelling to get to the wedding.
I only had people who I actually knew really well and had actually met at our day, and invited thier partners to the evening. Put a few noses out but it's your day.... Do what you want 😁 xxx
Some of my own family isn’t invited so don’t feel any pressure 🙂
My partner has a big family so we agreed that cousins would only be invited to the evening. We’ve also said no kids to the day (except nieces and nephews as they are bridesmaids and pageboys) because you still have to pay per head even for children. We have said they are welcome to collect their children for the evening if they want to.
I guess I have a different view, I gave everyone a plus 1 if they wanted it. Been to lots of weddings without our one and ended up feeling lonely as all my friends were couples or didn’t know that many people and didn’t want anyone I love to feel like that x Do what’s right for you x
I based it on how well you know the partners and also invited a couple when the guest didnt really know anyone else
I’ve only invited who I actually know. All the girls that I work with are invited on their own even though they’re all married! Money is tight, I would rather have my close friends and family there over strangers 🙂 no one has complained so far!
For my friends we've had to limit partners because of cost. Most of them are ok with it. Only those that we know well are invited to the whole day, with the others invited to the evening (feel bad as some have been together years but I've only met them once). I've suggested they all meet up for a bonding/drinking session beforehand as our ceremony is at 4 and evening reception doesn't start until 8.30. At the end of the day it's your day and if your friends/family want to be there with you then they'll accept these things
I'd give a 1 if the person I invite doesn't know anyone else at the party. I'd do that even if I don't know their 1 personally because I'd want my guests to feel comfortable.
Think of the guest not having their partner to chat to. If you can't afford a wedding just do it in a registry office and fo out afterwards for a meal with close family!
I did plus 1 for everyone I invited but it’s up to you xx
My thoughts.. If they're engaged / live together then you should be inviting them. If it's been less than a year and isn't really serious, they can stay home.
We invited friends partners that have been together for years. Family we only invited brothers partners and older first cousins that were living with each other. It’s hard as I didn’t invite some of people’s partners and they didn’t come either maybe because of it.
We invited partners who one of us knew but not ones we didn't This was hard but only turned out to be a few people at the meal. At the service we had a anyone is welcome.
We have limited seating during our meal so we are saying that if they have been together for a long time they can come but less than a year then no :)
Make them evening only