Katharine O'brien
Katharine O'brien 5 Nov 2019

Advice

This may sound like a petty thing, but Mum and I are clashing about cupcakes.. I'm getting married on Sept 19th 2020. I would like a traditional top layer with cupcakes. I tasted the most amazing cupcakes earlier this year at a fayre. Honestly, the best I have ever tasted. My fiancè has not yet tried them but because the lady lives the other side of county Mum is not considering it and saying "I don't want this" and "it will be a stress on the day". I am aware that there is less stress if the person is closer but obviously don't want to dismiss it out of hand as we have plenty of options with friends willing to help... am I going mad?

51 Comments
Becky Mitchinson
Becky Mitchinson 6 Nov 2019

its up to you and your husband to be if you friends are willing to help then go for it
its your day do what you want ive had my issues with cakes and pricing and in the end decided to get the one I want even if it means me paying the difference as someone has offered to pay for my cake xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

It's your wedding. Simple as. I'm sure you could arrange a pick up/delivery the day before to get round that issue and 1 day isnt going to make a huge difference!

Julia Shepherd
Julia Shepherd 6 Nov 2019

Any reputable cake maker will be able to discuss delivery options with you way before the wedding day. You are paying them a service so it's their job to handle any stress regarding the cake! Just bear in mind they may charge for mileage

Mellony Bell
Mellony Bell 6 Nov 2019

Your wedding..your way..do what your and your future hubby want to do..its your day..not your mothers ... xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Get what you want not what your mum wants it’s up to you and ask cake lady what she charges to deliver cup cakes are wonderful
Idea xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

If your mother isn’t paying for the cake then she has no right to tell you what you can and can’t have. It isn’t her wedding, if she was paying for the cake then her input is valued but again she can’t dictate as again it isn’t her wedding

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

It’s not your mothers wedding though is it? So do what you want to do. If you feel you have to go along with t because she’s paying then pay for it yourself instead. Don’t have what someone else wants when it’s really nothing to do with them

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Do what you want but make sure your mum does not have to go and pick them up. Sounds like she thinks the logistics will land at her feet.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

It’s your wedding....tell your mum to bolt

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Hun, it's yours and hubby's day not mums, have what you want

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Its your day, do what you and your partner want. You can always collect the day before or ask her to deliver on the day for an additional cost x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

You’re day do what you and your husband to be want! If they sound as good as you describe they sound too good to not have

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

It's your wedding your choices.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

We had cupcakes with a small cake to cut on the top layer. We saw the idea at a wedding fayre and took pictures and a local baker copied them! They also gave us samples to taste to decide on the flavours. Looked and tasted great.

A member uploaded image

Suzanne Hunton
Suzanne Hunton 6 Nov 2019

Who's paying? If it's you, then get what you want. If it's your mum, then you're going to have to negotiate

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

It’s your wedding not your mums! Do what you want xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

My mum has a cake business and doing cupcakes are actually much easier to transport on the day. Easier to transport set up and eat. Have what you want c

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Is it an issue with "cupcakes" or with distance. If its distance then maybe she is concerned they wont be delivered on time which would stress you on the day. Im sure if this is the reason you would be able to find a supplier closer. If its an issue with cupcakes altogether then why not compromise and have a traditional cake and cupcakes as favours. Its your day to be fair but maybe shes just worried they wont turn up. Im sure all she wants for you is perfection on your day. Its strange how one little thing going wrong on your wedding day becomes a massive issue and can change the whole vibe.

Natasha Finn
Natasha Finn 6 Nov 2019

Honey it’s your wedding you have what YOU want xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

It's your day and if the baker is delivering, what is your mother's problem?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

My parents paid for mine and my husbands cake but they left the design up to us. They said it was our day not there’s x

Suzannah Hall
Suzannah Hall 6 Nov 2019

My dad made my cake we had a fruit cake sponge cake and fairy cakes it was perfect it was just what I wanted and at the end of the day it is yours and your hubby to be's day no one else's xx

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

We had cupcakes and they went down a storm.
Also my cake lady lived reasonably close, yet was hours late due to her car breaking down and needing to find someone to bring her. So if something is gonna happen it’ll happen regardless of distance lol

A member uploaded image

Claire Newstead
Claire Newstead 6 Nov 2019

It's your wedding. If you want cupcakes get cupcakes! My cake came from 50miles away. The lady delivered it for a small charge :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

I wasn’t keen on my daughter having cupcakes but it was what she wanted so what she had she had a big one for top tier which she cut for photos

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

All I will says is its your day not hers

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Depending on whose paying I would say depends on the answer. If you are, then your decision, if it’s joint find a compromise and if it’s your mum find a way to negotiate. I went to a wedding where they had a huge cake as her mum wanted the extravagant look but 3 out of the 4 layers were polystyrene or foam! Then they had a cupcake tower and could afford both as the cake wasn’t all real!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Tell her you appreciate her concerns however this is what you want. At the end of the day it’s your wedding....it’s a special day so why not have the special cupcakes you loved!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

It's your day, your choice. Dont feel that if someone else is paying you have to do what they want.

Anna Harding
Anna Harding 6 Nov 2019

It's your wedding day not your Mums so if you want these cupcakes & cake....You have them, yes it would be even better if they were closer, but like you said your friends are willing to help and it's doable.....tell your mum this is what is happening, you aren't going mad at all.
Best wishes to you and your husband to be 💕😁

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

take your h2b and try them again make sure they are worth the stress before deciding. Memories can be false advertising x

Jaymee-Leigh McAliece
Jaymee-Leigh McAliece 6 Nov 2019

Your wedding. Your choice

Jaymee-Leigh McAliece
Jaymee-Leigh McAliece 6 Nov 2019

Pick them up the day before

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Cake makers generally deliver and set up for a fee?.... Why is mum involved in decisions for your wedding? Do what you want, its your day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Sounds like a cup cake issue rather than a distance issue. If she is a reputable Baker then she will be versed on delivering in time for weddings. It is what you want on your day that matters.

Lynne Banks
Lynne Banks 6 Nov 2019

Your wedding, your decision, if your mum doesn't like it then she does get any cake

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

I'm sure you could arrange collection the day before your wedding. Good cupcakes won't go stale overnight if stored correctly. Get the cakes you want. Don't sacrifice what you want because of others opinions. If your mum doesn't have to collect them then it isn't her problem to worry about.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Your Mam doesnt want it? Not her wedding - sort it and be happy :)

Teresa Burns
Teresa Burns 6 Nov 2019

I'm having cupcakes this time with top layer to cut into
The cupcakes will be easier for everyone to have a taste of the cake. Can do so many different designs colours flavours themes with cupcakes and top tier. Cake. Yes it's not traditional but check out the different designs on Pinterest and show her different ones. Once she see the different ones may put her mind at ease

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Not going mad at all. I think gently remind your mum who’s wedding it’s is and make the decisions you want

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Tell ya Mum to feck off!

Jo Marwood
Jo Marwood 6 Nov 2019

Not Mum’s wedding, so even if she’s paying for the cake, it’s not her call 🤷🏻‍♀️

Emma Louise Bennett
Emma Louise Bennett 6 Nov 2019

It's your wedding, you could have cup cakes hand delivered from France if you wanted too! Xx

Donna Hawkins
Donna Hawkins 6 Nov 2019

Doesn't really matter what your mom thinks about it

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Nov 2019

I don't think it even depends on who is paying.
You are getting married, not your mum. Ultimately, it's yours and your partner's choice.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Nov 2019

Thumbs up to you for thinking it’s going to be easy to collect them from the other side of the country the day before your wedding! I’m stressed thinking about fitting in picking up our cake pops and single cutting cake (so don’t think your idea is silly at all, just the logistics!) from 10 miles away the day before our wedding!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Nov 2019

It’s your wedding ... do what you want

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Nov 2019

Do as you like or regret it later

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Nov 2019

Your wedding. Your choice!

UKbride Member 7 Nov 2019

Depending on size of the county, the cake person might even deliver for a fee?

Michaela Sharp
Michaela Sharp 16 Nov 2019

I am having a cake and cupcakes I want people to have a choice. Plus I LOVE cake and scared I won't have enough lol

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