Corryn Banham
Corryn Banham 13 Oct 2019

Bridal Party

Bridal party dilemmas! I have a few, any help appreciated! 1) I am torn between my sister and best friend as Maid of Honour, I know my sister would be so happy, but my best friend and I have always said we’d have each other... she doesn’t have a sister so might not understand! 2) how do you deal with a friend who is expecting to be a bridesmaid, but you don’t want to ask her...! She is friends with my best friend and I, I don’t want to upset her, but also don’t want her as a bridesmaid on the day :(

53 Comments
Sarah Edwards
Sarah Edwards 14 Oct 2019

A maid of honor is traditionally married however if they both are you could have one as maid of honor and one as chief bridesmaid as really they could then both have equal responsibility. I don't have a sister but I'm very close to my cousin she is married but my best friend isn't so easier for me I also have another friend in mind I'd want to ask but I know she'll be uncomfortable in a dress so Im going to ask her to be my best women as apposed to a bridesmaid. It's your wedding and you can bend the rules if you want.

Victoria Holt
Victoria Holt 14 Oct 2019

Have both? I had 2 maid of honours and so did my sister 😘 we both had each other and our best friends xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Have 2

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Just have them as bridesmaids and no maid of honour? Then you can’t upset anyone x

Kirsty Thomas
Kirsty Thomas 14 Oct 2019

I’ve got my sister as maid of honor and then my best friend is matron of honor as she is married xx

Tina Bagley
Tina Bagley 14 Oct 2019

Go with whatever your gut tells you. I have 2 maid's of honour even though it's not the norm! With the friend that is expecting to be a bridesmaid... you don't need to explain to anyone why they haven't been chosen, just ask whoever you do want x

Katie Hedger
Katie Hedger 14 Oct 2019

Have both! That’s what’s I’ve done! And it means they can work together on hen do planning etc 💕💪🏽

Mandy Dale
Mandy Dale 14 Oct 2019

Im having my sister and my bf as maids 🥰

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

I've got both my sister and best friend as maid of honour!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Im just having my bf as maid of honour and no bridesmaids

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Have 2! Or a chief bridesmaid and a maid of Honour. As for the person you don’t want to ask, just don’t ask them. They probably don’t expect to be asked anyway. But if needed just take them out for a coffee and explain why you didn’t ask them and that doesn’t mean you don’t like them but there has to be a limit.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

You can have more than one maid of honour. You shouldn't feel obliged to ask someone to be a bridesmaid. It's your day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Have 2 maids of honour and have who you want us bridesmaids regardless of who is expecting to be asked. If they are a true friends they will understand x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

I have two matron of honors. Both have been married which is the meaning behind matron of honor and therefore both have experience to offer. Don't ask her to be bridesmaid.. simpels

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

I decided in the end not too have one. My best friend and sister in law (who has become a best friend too) both mean the world and they will both stand next to me because they both belong. They don’t need to be maid of honour. Do you need to have one or can they both share the role of most important? xxx

Jordan Alexandra
Jordan Alexandra 14 Oct 2019

Have 2 maids of honour. I have 3, couldn't choose

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

I had my best friend as my witness so she had to come up at ceremony and sign the register, she loved it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Can have more than 1 MOH (the only difference between a matron and maid is her marital status - maid refers to unmarried,matron if she's married). Don't feel obligated to ask the friend of a friend to be in your wedding, she's just being entitled and it's the quickest way to trouble

Niki Clarke
Niki Clarke 14 Oct 2019

I had my sister and best friend xxx

Rachael Watkinson
Rachael Watkinson 14 Oct 2019

I don't have a sister and my cousins are flower girls so my best friend was the obvious choice for me. Its your wedding don't feel you have to do anything to please someone else. Do what feels best to you.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

I have 2 sisters so it was difficult to choose so I had one of my best friends as maid of honour and another as a witness. I had 1 of my sisters do a reading at the ceremony x

Kirsty Cleall
Kirsty Cleall 14 Oct 2019

Be honest and just do what you want ... you can explain calmly and politely... ask your sister to do a reading instead of being maid of honour ( she could still be a bridesmaid) xxx

Danielle Woods
Danielle Woods 14 Oct 2019

I am one of 5 girls (and my poor brother who had to deal with all of us growing up) so I didn’t wanna pick a sister.
I went with my best friend as Maid of Honour, my youngest sister who is 12 is a child bridesmaids/older flower girl and the other sisters have no input because my friends are my bridesmaids.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Where's the rule book to say you only need one MOH? Shake it up and have 2....your wedding, your rules.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

I didnt have a maid of honour. Just 2 bridesmaids

Zoë Cansdale
Zoë Cansdale 14 Oct 2019

I had my daughter as my maid if honour, my best friend and my sister as bridesmaids.

Natasha Finn
Natasha Finn 14 Oct 2019

I have a maid
Of honour and a chief bridesmaid both friends ❤️xx

Sarah Foley
Sarah Foley 14 Oct 2019

I have known people to have two maid of honours, or a matron of honour and a maid of honour. We didn't want to choose, so we had three bridesmaids, one in her 30s, one in her 50s, and the other in her 60s, and a 10 month old great niece as flower girl xx

Sarah Foley
Sarah Foley 14 Oct 2019

If you are not close to the other girl, then there is no reason she should be bridesmaid just because she's friends with one of your bridesmaids, it's you and and you husband to be's day, if they don't like it, though xx

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 14 Oct 2019

Have them both, tell them you couldn't possibly choose as for the other friend be honest tell you arejust having X, Y and Z

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Weddings are expensive, just have who you want there. It's your day and don't let anything worries ruin that

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

You’re not responsible for other people’s emotional reactions to your wedding day. If she’s assumed she will be bridesmaid but you have people already in mind that’s not your fault. If you ask her out of guilt you’ll taint your whole bridal experience. It’s really rude of her to expect to be asked anyway lol x

Anna Rush
Anna Rush 14 Oct 2019

A lot of stress and politics if you ask me. Be honest with people and follow what you want to do. It's your wedding

Bryonie Cooper
Bryonie Cooper 14 Oct 2019

Why not have both?
Nothing stopping you from putting them both as maid of honour or both as chief, or one and the other.
It's your wedding, do whatever makes you happy!
In other words screw tradition

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

If you don't want someone as a bridesmaid don't ask them, if they aren't happy about it it's their problem, it's you& your partners wedding day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Don't have a maid of honour at all, and only ask who you want to be bridesmaid x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Don't have a maid of honour. Have your sister as chief bridesmaid and your friend as bridesmaid. Keeps everyone happy and you don't potentially lose a friend.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Have two! My hubby to be is having three best men as he couldn’t choose..it’s your wedding..you get to have whatever the hell you want.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

I had both my daughters and my husband to be' s daughter and didn't thinking was fair to choose so just had 3 bridesmaids. They were all special and made our day special.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

My best friend had her sister as her maid of honour and then I was Chef bridesmaid. I was really happy with that, I was just thrilled to be apart of her day Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2019

Im just having 3 bridesmaids, my 2 best friends and my daughter who will be 5 i couldnt choose one over the other because they are both my best friends for different reasons and i love them both the same. And then i have my neice and god daugter as flower girls

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Oct 2019

My maids of honors and only brides maids were our two girls because honestly I didn’t want the bloody arguments ! And did not think of any two people more important , special and deserving then the people who will be with me for the rest of my life! Literally best decision ever ! Also my other half’s best men were our three boys !
Saves arguments and no one can kick off ! Choose close kids sooooooo much easier and it’s sooooo much more special ! Xx

Danika O'Connor
Danika O'Connor 15 Oct 2019

I didn’t make any of my bridesmaids maid of honour as they were all equally important to me, I couldn’t choose so they were all just bridesmaids

Christina Adams
Christina Adams 15 Oct 2019

I'm having 2 maids of honor!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Oct 2019

First of all it is your day so have who you want. Just make sure you explain to your friends/cousins what you want clearly to avoid awkwardness (I made that mistake! )

As for a friend that may be expecting to be a bridesmaid give them another job - witness or reading is also super important!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Oct 2019

Have Ur sister and best friend as equals, no reason u can't have 2!!! It's Ur wedding!!! As for the other girl just don't ask her, don't have the conversation and if she brings it up just say there's no money for any more bridesmaids and if she offers to pay herself for dress etc just say no u don't want that u don't have to explain urself xx

Christina Branson
Christina Branson 15 Oct 2019

Simple for the expectant bridesmaid don't ask her and if she brings it up say No you have not been asked

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Oct 2019

I had 2 maids of honour and my husband had 2 best men. As we were on a budget I made it clear to my friends who weren't in the wedding party that I couldn't invite many friends but that I really wanted them there so invited them as friends

April Wild
April Wild 15 Oct 2019

Have two or have none. I had none. Doesn't make blind bit of difference

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Oct 2019

I have just bridesmaids, you don’t have to add a hierarchy to it if it will cause problems. I have asked my bridesmaids because I know they will bring different things none are better or more improper at than the others. Keep it simple!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Oct 2019

Have 2 Maids of Honour. It's your wedding, do what you want and be different

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 17 Oct 2019

I’ve just gone for bridesmaids, no one is a maid or a matron, they’re all the same. I was lucky that my sisters knew how difficult I was finding it and both opted out anyway!
With the other issue, I really think most people will understand if they don’t get chosen. You can’t have everyone as your bridesmaid, and if she’s your best friends friend, then I’m not sure why she thinks she’d be so heavily involved anyway?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2019

Listen to yourself and what you truly want. With regards to your sister/ best friend, if you cannot decide do a ‘co- maid of honor’. I saw it in an American wedding, there were two Maids of honor and everybody was pretty happy.

With regards to your friend...I know it is tough and probably it is not a nice conversation to have but at the end of the day it is YOUR wedding. Do what you & your other half want. If you don’t want her as a bridesmaid, that’s your decision and it should be respected.

I hope you have the wedding of your dreams ️ x

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