Kelly Gill
Kelly Gill 14 Sep 2019

Guests not turning up.

One thing I have noticed is how many guests pulled out last minute at my sisters wedding on Tuesday. They had their invite waaay in advance as her wedding was on a week day and night guests just didn't bother turning up. Any idea on how to deal with this situation or how not to spend a fortune on guests who don't bother turning up? Photo of my Sister, Brother-in-law and Dad on Tuesday 10th September.

A member uploaded image

Charlotte Ward
Charlotte Ward 16 Sep 2019

Dont have it on a Tuesday? Thats a hard day for people who work, people who have to get kids to school etc.. you might think you can do it, but then there are after school clubs and youve had a busy work day, homework, got to get up for work the next day, etc ... its a tough call as you save money and you are still married at the end of the day but you may not get all the people you wanted there...

beverley summerhill
beverley summerhill 16 Sep 2019

I got married on a Sunday and had to change my seating plan around 15 times. We picked guests who we knew wouldn't let us down. We were very particular who we invited day and ceremony and then invited the guests who were unreliable on the evening where it didn't matter to us much. Out of 90 guests we had 1 not turn up but a message to say her child was poorly in hospital. Choose correctly give them ample notice of your marriage and the rest will just fit into place

Hayley Andrews
Hayley Andrews 16 Sep 2019

That’s awful for your Sister, I’m sorry that happened to her. I guess you can’t stop people from not showing up, but perhaps only invite people who you know would definitely be there, although that can be hard to gauge. I’m looking at keeping my wedding small and only inviting the most important people in my and my OHs life

Emily Coleman
Emily Coleman 16 Sep 2019

I had the same, I think it's just how it is, I would def go under the guest number when ordering evening food!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

We had guests pull out last minute for various reasons, we asked evening guests to come all day instead and explained why. The icing on the cake was the best man telling us on the Tuesday he could no longer be best man as he and his now wife were collecting a puppy instead, but he (not both) would come for the meal. He appeared half way through the meal. You will always get people who say they will come then don't turn up. Under order for the evening, usually the venue will recommend 10%. Not much you can do for day guests not turning up but have people on standby who you know will come if you get told in plenty time.

Anna Rush
Anna Rush 16 Sep 2019

I don't think the weekday wedding has anything to do with guests not turning up. If they RSVP and commit to come, it's just rude not to turn up, unless it's an emergency of course which can happen to anyone.
We have a small wedding and inviting the same guests to daytime and evening do, as it's a long way for them to travel. I doubt anyone would turn up for a few hours of disco if they had to drive 3hrs each way. That way we have more guarantee that guests will come, as they have to stay somewhere and the full day makes it more worth it. But still, not turning up without letting the bride and groom know, is rude

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

Two of my husbands groomsman never came. One we knew was unlikely to show, and the other informed us the night before. On the day of, I was informed another guest wasn’t going to be there. Thankfully, my venue just took out the chairs and crockery/place names. It’s very frustrating. And something you can’t always account for. In the end people, it wasn’t about the money but people didn’t seem to get that I had paid a stupid amount of money for them not to attend.. we got married on a Tuesday but it was Easter half term, so it wasn’t so much of an issue for people. Just try and invite who you want there. The important people will show. I’m still angry about the guests who didn’t attend/wasted my time and money. But I’m married to my best friend and on the day I didn’t miss them!

Karen Wernham
Karen Wernham 16 Sep 2019

Only invite the people who you really want there, its not about the most glamorous or the biggest wedding etc.. we had 54 to day and 100 nearest friends and family.. we had no one pull out..

Katy Nelson
Katy Nelson 16 Sep 2019

Happened to me too haha quite a few people contacted me the day before to drop out. One scheduled an interview for the same day 🤣

Stacey Gill
Stacey Gill 16 Sep 2019

Evening guest numbers are never accurate, they're will always be guests who decide they don't want to go for different reasons, some forget. If you feel like you may have the forgetting problem, then you can always issue a courtesy email, card or note of some description about a month before hand so they can check closer to the time. Some people have good intentions but then they haven't been given their work schedule until a week before.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

I had 2 not turn up just because and 2 cancel 2 dsys before due to a family member being ill and needing to travel, night guests i think around 15 never turned up but we had only catered for 80%so it worked out well. People will not turn up if that's what they decide regardless of whether you have a weekday or a weekend wedding because they are rude and nothing else

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

Happened to me and my husband 15 didnt turn ypnto the day even after RSVP back and we had paid for them all to eat and it's more annoying than ever those people arent your friends .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

I only invited the people we really wanted, 50 people included, all but the mother in law and two friends didn't turn up x I loved it was so intimate x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

We had our wedding on the 6th September and we had about half the evening guests not turn up.
We didn't really notice until the next day talking about the people that were there. To me, yes its a bit disappointing but you can never tell what people are going to do and also, as I said we never noticed till the next day so does it really matter? The people that wanted to be there were, and to me that is what matters more.

Teresa Robson
Teresa Robson 16 Sep 2019

We had to do the day plan a few times and a few days before one said they couldn't come so we just left the seat empty and shared the food... Fortunately for us we didn't spend as much on the day guests as we did on the evening. We invited around 10% extra for the evening and didn't include the 6 children in the figures. Only 5 people didn't turn up out of the 80 adults invited but we still had plenty of buffet food left over.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

All three of my husband's groomsmen dropped out a few days before our wedding. One of my bridesmaids and my flower girl dropped out the day before. Several other guests messed us around too. Now, if anyone asks me for wedding advice, my top tip is: don't have any guests! 🤣

Keisha Hull
Keisha Hull 19 Sep 2019

It doesn't matter if it was on a weekday or not. We had ours on a Saturday and we had all types of drop outs. People who told us a few days before because of something that happened last minute, someone who knew they might not be able to come and still ended up pulling out and even people who said they were coming and didn't bother telling us they couldn't make it in the end. There will always be drop out but the people who matter are the ones that make the effort. Its just a little distasteful that you pay for somone who ends up not coming when you could have put the money somewhere else.

Becky Mitchinson
Becky Mitchinson 29 Sep 2019

God I honestly wouldn't know what to suggest this would worry me I would hope that once people RSVP that would be it but I dont think its something you can control x


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