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UKbride Member Request 28 Aug 2019

Groom to see the wedding dress before the big day...

Is it weird that I'm asking my H2B for advice on Wedding Dresses? His opinion is the only one that REALLY matters (after my own obviously!) so to me it makes perfect sense that we talk about it and I show him pictures etc. However, a lot of people are saying this is completely wrong and I shouldn't be doing so. Is it weird? To be fair, it's not like he's giving me "fashion advice".... he's a stereotypical male saying "you'll look better with it off..." haha! But he has said he doesn't like some of the dresses I've favoured. Bottom line is, it's my opinion that counts the most but I'm getting a little fed up of hearing how outrageous it is for him to see the dress before our wedding day. Has anyone else done this?

36 Comments
Becky Mitchinson
Becky Mitchinson 29 Aug 2019

I personally wouldn't but it's your choice x I've asked my OH what he would like to see me in but his response is much the same "it will look better on the floor" but you do see it on the tv shows x do what makes you happy xxx

Kerry Higgins
Kerry Higgins 30 Aug 2019

Thanks for the kind advice :). Glad to see I'm not completely insane lol... I guess everyone likes to have an opinion if it's not how they would do it.
Good luck with your big day! Xx

Hayley Wright-Mitchell
Hayley Wright-Mitchell 15 Sep 2019

Either way, he’s gonna think you look absolutely beautiful on the day itself. But if you wish to consult him, just show him different styles, and once you figure that out, you go on your own and pick a design based on that style. That ways there’s still the element of surprise.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

If I hadnt had my mum and sister to come dress shopping my husband would have come. It's an old tradition and like many other traditions you can follow it or not. I found it very hard not to show my husband my dress as we share everything and hes my best friend. I dont care about what people think, we even bucked the tradition of changing names and kept our own for our own reasons!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I completely understand, I have found it really hard to not show him my dress cause I would normally ask him " does this look okay?" I don't feel confident enough without his opinion. I mean I love the dress but I do wonder and have moments. For a man he's pretty good at telling me if it looks good and I have always liked his opinion xx

katie Lou
katie Lou 15 Sep 2019

My HTB was with me and helped pick my dress and bought it for me so i say do what you want people have said he shouldnt have seen mine but i dont care what otherd say x

Courtney Bartlett
Courtney Bartlett 15 Sep 2019

No, I took mine with me to choose the dress and he's coming to the first fitting with me

As far as I see it, they should know you better than anyone, so why not bring them along?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I do the same thing it’s usually bad luck see the bride bull*** but in all fairness 2020 soon so ya no stone age rubbish

Ashley Power
Ashley Power 15 Sep 2019

I've had my future hubby's in put on dresses I've picked out that I like and he's given me feedback. He's seen pictures of bits of the dress I actually bought which people have said they don't agree with, but the pictures don't do the dress justice and he won't see me in it until the day so no big deal.

A wedding is about a partnership and it's both the bride and the grooms day and it's the 21st century, so all this superstitious nonsense is totally out of date and he has to see me in the dress, so why shouldn't it be something he likes too?

Do you and your hubby darling and fudge everyone else!

Elizabeth Pratt
Elizabeth Pratt 15 Sep 2019

I was with mine when I bought my dress! We where at a wedding fair and I fell in love it! Who cares if he sees it before the big day, after it’s been altered and hair and makeup has been done it will look completely different! I say you do you! ☺️

Katrina Hallett
Katrina Hallett 15 Sep 2019

I'm slightly wishing I had chatted to my H2B now because our friends daughters made him watch say yes to the dress and his opinion on one similar to mine has worried me! it's opposite of anything he saw me browsing online because my BM just asked me to try it on even though it wasn't was I was looking for!
but I'm also having no input into the suits because I wanted to see him for the first time in it on the day as well

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 15 Sep 2019

I shown my husband loads of photos of dresses and I took his opinion into account but I didn’t show him the one I had chosen x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I’d show him loads of dresses see what his opinion on styles were etc but he wouldn’t see THE dress until the day x

Kayla Greenberg
Kayla Greenberg 15 Sep 2019

I don’t see the problem at all. My fiancé helped me pick my dress and was the first one to see me in it when it arrived. He can’t wait to see me in it again on our wedding day.
I really value his opinion and I know he’s 100% honest with me to if it suits me or not.
You do what ever you feel is comfortable for you, it really doesn’t matter what other people think.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I asked my fiancé. I showed hind pics online and in magazines of loads of different styles and for him to show me what he liked and what he didn’t. He also said he wouldn’t like to see me in a non-traditional colour and that he’d like to see me wearing a veil. I think he’d put more thought into it than I had!

Sarah Sharpe
Sarah Sharpe 15 Sep 2019

I asked. I ask my other half about everything else I buy, I trust his opinion the most, so it seemed alien not to! Dont worry about what anyone else thinks, I'm pretty sure that most of the people going on about it arent worried about why its traditional or sticking to all of the other traditions. Weddings are stressful enough without worrying about something you dont need to. Have a fab day xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

Nope! My thought was whether H2B would like the dress too. He’s the only one I wanted to impress so it’s only natural to consider him. I wouldn’t ask for advice as what you think you may want/like could not be what you actually choose so
I think you need to go in with a clear mind and decide on the dress in its own merit and not eliminate any dress before you’ve tried it on!

Rachael Watkinson
Rachael Watkinson 15 Sep 2019

Its a tradition and people are superstitious. People think it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before they wed, i think it dates back to when couples didn't even meet before they wed. If you are happy for your h2b to see your dress then thats fine. I invited my fiance to come wedding dress shopping with me but he didn't want to and said i'd look good in a bin bag. He won't even look at the pics despite the fact that all the dresses i tried are not the dress i'm having cos its being made to measure

Jackie Makin
Jackie Makin 15 Sep 2019

I asked for initial opinions on styles/material etc when we watched Say Yes to the Dress etc and found we had similar taste...when I found mine I knew instantly that he will love it on the day. He hasn't seen it but I asked him to browse the website for the shop i bought it from and out of the 100s he saw, he actually stopped on it and admired it the most and was smiling and zooming in on the detail so I knew I had found the one. 🥰

He has no recollection of my dress thankfully (I didnt tell him when he'd see it) haha and wont until July next year but I'm glad, the look on his face will be incredible when he sees me in it 😜xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I've been asking my fiance his opinion, he tells me honestly what he thinks will suit me and what he thinks will look stupid/less flattering. So why shouldn't I get his opinion?

Nicola Balshaw
Nicola Balshaw 15 Sep 2019

You do whatever makes you the happiest and most comfortable, I personally haven't shown my H2B my dress as I want him to be completely surprised by it, but the temptation to tell him or show him has always been there as hes the one I go to for advice on whether certain dresses suit me or not.
He says he doesn't care what my dress is like, as I could wear a bin bag and he would still marry me 😂

Helen Sharp
Helen Sharp 15 Sep 2019

I just asked mine if there was anything he would prefer me not to have - he'd seen a lot of say yes to the dress with me before i went dress shopping 😂😂 - and all he said was not too much bling, he didn't really have a preference. It really is up to you what you do - theold traditions are just that - old! So you do you and don't worry about everyone else!! 😘😘

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

It's not like you are telling him the exact one you are getting. It's just an opinion x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

It's up to you. I showed my husband some styles and talked a little, but he didn't see THE dress until the day. I picked it because I feel in love with it, but his opinions did matter. X

Claire Mceachran
Claire Mceachran 15 Sep 2019

Well my h2b seen my first dress and he said he liked it but he told me I deserved a princess dress so he paid for my new one he hasn't seen it yet but I went for the princess look x

Stella Shepherd
Stella Shepherd 15 Sep 2019

My husband came to see me try dresses on 😂 I ended up buying it online, but it was important to me that he liked the dress too

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I've asked my fiance as I dont really have any friends or family, so i think it's nice. Weddings are so modern nowadays that you can literally get married anywhere so why cant the views of getting your fiance involved more change. But at the end of the day, it's your day and it's up to you if you ask for his opinion or not. I hope you have a lovely day x

Lynne Banks
Lynne Banks 15 Sep 2019

Not weird at all, if you respect his opinion and don't follow traditions then why not?? I've been showing my h2b dresses to, he is a better judge than me when it comes to clothes

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I want to keep mine as a surprise but I'm really struggling not talking my thoughts through with him. It's so hard cos I'm torn between two dresses and I'm desperate for his opinion because he gets me so he will know which one will be better suited too.. So I can totally see why you're doing it and it's completely fine. Your day, your relationship. I just want the surprise more personally but I don't think there is a thing wrong with you showing him and talking it through with him. Lots of couples get ready together now too.

Rachel Doxey
Rachel Doxey 15 Sep 2019

I don’t see the issue. A picture isn’t the same as seeing you in it anyway, you will have your makeup done and hair. I showed my h2b a dress I really loved and he loved it too.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I showed my husband 3 dresses I couldn't choose between and asked him which would suit me best. He picked the one I then went and bought. I just didn't give anything away when he was looking and he didn't know which I'd actually gone with until I walked down the aisle. He knows me better than I know myself so he was literally the only person I could trust to help me make the right choice x

Sam King
Sam King 15 Sep 2019

My partner didn't pick the dress with me but he has seen it as I needed a hand getting stored away

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Sep 2019

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ask him for his opinion, some people really need to move into 2019. My FW and I went shopping together and picked our dresses together

Suzanne Marie Riches
Suzanne Marie Riches 15 Sep 2019

I like my guys opinion too, I don't care wot others think, at end of day we not marry them, we marrying our partner.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2019

I think it is more odd that you are asking strangers on the internet to be honest. Your future husband is the one you have picked to share your life with, is hopefully your beat friend and likely to be the one person in the world whose good opinion REALLY matters to you, so obviously it is fine to talk to him about this. I assume you are having some input into his choice of clothing/buttonholes etc too so why the hell not? At the end of the day ask for the opinion of whoever you want what does it matter to anyone else? Yes there is a tradition that the bride not be seen before the big day, but as I am guessing the two of you have actually met there is no reason to keep anything secret if you don't want. Have a lovely day.

Anna Rush
Anna Rush 16 Sep 2019

I think it's a load of superstitious rubbish. I had a bit of a dress dilemma and showed my other half what types of dresses I had in mind. He hasn't seen the exact one that I bought but definitely helped me make my final decision, which was whether to order online and have it made to measure, or order at our local bridal shop and have the seamstress do alterations. He liked my choice straight away and I just needed his support, and theres nothing wrong with making these decisions together. Great foundation for marriage if you ask me. Good luck and I hope you will look beautiful

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