UKbride Member Request 21 Aug 2019

Am I being unreasonable about the day guest list? *fed up bride-to-be*

*wedding day guest rant* I need some unbiased help from you lovely ladies, please! Ok so an overview before I get to the point (this is a long one, I apologise)... my parents are giving us a large chunk of our wedding fund. My finances parents are also generously giving us a large chunk of money too (albeit half of what my parents are offering - understandably the bride's side is giving more). Because of the generous donations from both sides this does mean they both are very opinionated in regards to the guest list! My finance has a big family. My family is small. However, most of his family he doesn't associate with and only a few of the ones he NEVER speaks to are invited - I have compromised on this and said those few can come (4 people who I've never met and my fiance never speaks to). I've also agreed that his mum's 2 best friends can come. My biggest compromise has been to have a BIG wedding that I NEVER wanted. I wanted a close, intimate wedding with our favourite people - immediate family and best friends (with their partners). My finance however wants to invite everyone and the dog because there are a few family members who we have attended all-day weddings for and he feels he has to repay the favour, but this also means he can't ask those family members without asking ALL of their siblings, parents, partners etc. I wanted close family and friends as my day guest list, but it's turned into a current list of 92!!!! day guests, instead of the 40 I want - the majority on his side. My parents aren't happy about this because they believe it should be the brides side to take priority and they are giving the majority of the money. And it's ridiculously expensive to invite all these extra people (thousands). I also keep being told that I MUST ask my fiances 2 sisters to be my bridesmaids... I have been told since our engagement party that I MUST ask them. His parents even threatened that the sisters wouldn't attend if I didn't ask them. Nice... I have AGAIN compromised and agreed, and therefore will be letting down some of my closest friends! I will be having 4 of my best friends, his 2 sisters and therefore need to ask my sister-in-law too to be fair, so 7. I have compromised on having a BIG day time guest list (we can have 1000 evening guests, I wouldn't care, but day guests should be personal!) I have compromised on the preferred function rooms at the venue because of the big day guest list! Including giving up the outdoor wedding I really wanted. I have compromised on my fiances family members coming who don't make much or any effort. I have compromised on bridesmaids. I have agreed to have less guests on my side despite it upsetting my very generous parents. I am now putting my foot down... I have given the decision that EITHER we revert to the small intimate wedding of 40 OR having the big wedding but because there are 13 children belonging to our cousins that we should remove them from the day guest list and only have kids in the bridal party (our daughter, my baby nephew, my finances nephew and my bridesmaids baby). My finance refused to entertain the idea of the small guest list (due to upsetting family members) and after some persuasion agreed to remove children. Finally some slight compromise from him/his side!! Hurray! However he has remembered his half brother who he has never lived with and isn't too close with (sees a few times a year, if that) has 2 children (8 and 17) that he insists must be there because his dad would expect it. I reminded him they aren't part of the bridal party so wouldn't be invited. I said however if they can't work around this then they all are welcome to attend the evening instead (as are any of the other day guests with children). He blew up at me for suggesting that his half brother's kids can't attend the day and it ended with a big argument. I refuse to back down on this, I've compromised so much already and this is getting ridiculous. Thoughts of unbiased people would be appreciated, please. I'm losing my mind over this day guest list. Ps we have reserved a date but not booked/paid deposit yet. Wedding in 8 months time. Pps £64 per head day time adults, £35 for kids.



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