UKbride Member Request 10 May 2019

I have a anonymous query which would be interesting to hear peoples thoughts...

I have a anonymous query which would be interesting to hear peoples thoughts on... thanks. My parents were in a happy relationship; however my mum died about a year ago (18 months by Sept when my fiance and i get married). My dad is in a new relationship now which started 4 months after my mums death so naturally I wasnt happy with it. My dad wasnt forceful at all but after much deliberation I decided to invite the new gf to our wedding, as part of the reason my father is with her is because he doesn't like attending events alone and I feel like he probably would have brought her anyway. However now we are discussing table plans and I said I dont want the new gf on the top table but she can be near the front on a table with people she has met before. My dad is now kicking off saying why do we have a top table etc. Am I being completely unreasonable by not letting her sit on the top table with us? Am I being insensitive to my father? What are your thoughts? Has anyone been through or going through something similar?

Marie Aspinall
Marie Aspinall 10 May 2019

It must be so hard for you and I can’t imagine how hard it must be but if I could make a suggestion that might help. To keep the peace with your dad put his lady friend on the top table . She might be at the table but your mum will be in your heart and she will be with you for your special day . It will be bitter sweet but the day is all about you your day and your mum will be very proud of you . All the very best for your special day big hugs xx

Rachel Hoskins
Rachel Hoskins 11 May 2019

Our top table is going to be slightly unusual, although we haven't completely decided. You can change it around to what suits you but I personally wouldn't have her on the top table and I feel like your dad should respect that decision. X

Christine Morton
Christine Morton 11 May 2019

I think your dad needs to respect that it's you and your soon to be husbands day and if you don't want her at the top table then that's your choice, I think you're being completely reasonable by putting her on a close table with people she knows, she should also be more respectful of your feelings and not even want to be at the top table, good luck with everything hun xx

UKbride Member 11 May 2019

I think you should probably tell him how you feel about his gf. My parents are separated so naturally it will be awkward for them to be at one event together anyway. However it's my wedding, I made up the sitting plans and they'll just have to go along. Sometimes you have to be strong and not let the feelings overcome this, because they are adult and it's your special day. I think most people will sit at the table just for a meal anyway. Hope you'll find a way x

Hayley Marden
Hayley Marden 2 Jun 2019

I'm in the same boat my mum passed away and my dad started seeing someone not long after we had arguments as I was not happy. Anyway he begged me to invite her to the wedding I explained it's to hard for the day so she can come to evening and he is happy with that. As for table plan my gran who is my mums mum will be representing and sitting in my mums place. It's up to you it's your day and your dad should understand

Katie Ross
Katie Ross 4 Jun 2019

I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you. I’m sure it’s something you have already thought of or perhaps the venue won’t work well, but you could have a top table which is just you and your groom then tables with the important people closer etc. It means you two get more time just the two of you.

Becky Mitchinson
Becky Mitchinson 28 Jun 2019

No I dont think so I am the same my parents aren't together but my dad has a fiancee and i dont really want her on the top table I've told my dad once but weve not really mentioned it again you have to explain to your dad it's your day and if it comes to it dont have your dad on the top table x


Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?