Hello everyone, I and my partner not yet confirmed the date. We’ve work the list out how many and the size venue that we would need to accommodate our family and friends. We have the issues with my partners parents that not on talking term at all they hate each other very much his grandparents on his mothers side and she refuse to be in same room as his father. How do you would solve the problem? Should we just invite one of them or not at all ???? thank you xxx
I'd invite them all if they dont want to come that's their problem then x
I would invite both and tell them they have to be civil for your day and if they can’t do that for youse then not to come
Invite them ,if they can’t be grown up for one special day they lose out xx
I agree with Amy. It's your day and you should feel free to invite everyone that matters to you. They're all grown-ups and can surely put aside petty feelings for one day?!
Invite them, let them know that the others may be there, tell them that you hope they can put their issues aside for one day because it's your day, and that if they can't it's a real shame and you'll miss them being there. Don't add to your stress by worrying about the reactions of others!
Invite them they can only say no
I agree invite them all and tell them they can be part of YOUR special day or not. It's not fair that you or your partner should feel put in the middle (I've been there) tell them the invite is there but if they feel they cant be civil on the day for you both then they cant come x
I agree invite them both and if they cant be civil or even avoid each other for 1 day thats their problem, i had the same issue, one of my aunts ob my mums side hasn't spoken to the rest od my mums family in over 20 years but they all came (except my nan and grandad who were too ill to travel) and they all spoke to each other apart from my 2 aunts, my view was if they couldn't be grown ups for my sake for the night then they would be removed
Me and my ex don't talk but for our kids will be in same room my son getting married in September but I always make sure its fine on the day for my kids
Invite everyone and don’t tell them. When they find out on the day, are they really gonna kick up a fuss on your wedding day? They wouldn’t if they really care about you.. But obviously try and keep them as far away from each other as possible lol
A similar post was made a few months ago. It was a longer post but basically they need to grow up act there age and put the differences to one side. They can be put other end of the rooms all they have to do near each other is smile for photos. Even then they dont have to be near each other long and even maybe not the same pics.
I would like to think they can be adult enough to behave for 1 day .... if your important to them they should be able to do it
Invite them then it's up to them to put there differences to one side for the day if they cant do that there is something very wrong then it's up to them to RSVP but at least you didn't make the decision
Tell them all to grow up.its your day and they can then choose to come or not.tell them if anyone makes any trouble they will be asked to leave.
Invite them all. I'm I the same predicament but as o have told my parents and step parents they do not need to interact with each other what so ever on the day and to be adult as it is ure day and don't want it spoiled
Just be firm and tell them you want them all there and they need to be adults for one day and if they refuse or cause problems they can either leave or be removed from the venue .
I have a very similar situation in my family. You just have to tell them that you want them there and that's it's YOUR day, not theirs. So they need to set aside their differences for one day and tolerate each other, otherwise they won't be invited
Tell them it's not about them. They don't have to talk. They don't have to look at each other. They just have to be there for this special day in your lives
I would say if they cannot put aside their differences for YOUR day then neither should come! It should be about you guys not them.
Invite them all. It's their choice then whether they can put their differences to one side for your special day.
I would invite all and they can choose to be mature for your special day or choose to not come .. I have 7 local brothers and sisters and even though some do not talk at all they have all agreed to attend, be civil and get along for my wedding day .. if they didn’t agree then that’s their loss xxx
We had the same problem. We invited them and didn’t tell them who else was invited. And they were fine on the day x
Invite both you can't be blamed then it's there choice if you mean anything to them they should put their differences aside if they can't then they can only blame themselves for missing your special day x
Invited them all. Its their choice. If they'd rather miss their son's/grandson's big day... it says more about them.
You don't solve the problem, they do. Invite everyone. If they can't put their differences aside for one day for your partner's sake that's their problem and their loss. Also, as a backup, assign one trusted and preferably neutral groomsman or bridesmaid to make them leave if they start bickering on the day so you don't have to deal with the stress of it. Two of my husband's groomsmen hated each other, but we just told them to put up or pisoff, and everyone ended up having a great time.
Invite them all, let them know you will be inviting everyone if they cant put there differences aside for one day then they are not to attend.
I had a similar problem and my grandad has chosen not to attend and thats his loss but I refuse to not invite people who id like there when the drama is nothing to do with me 🤷🏼♀️ id just not sit them close if u are having a seating plan
If you only send invites to (for example) his mum then you could be seen as taking sides if I was you I'd invite everyone and let them make the decision if they want to miss an important relatives wedding!! Also id be honest when they ask you have you invited so and so!! X
You understandably don't want to pick sides. Invite them all but let them know you've done so. Ask them if they can please just be civil for the day. They don't need to sit together etc. If they really don't want to be there for the whole day or at all then that is their loss. They are all important to you and you care about what they say, just remember that their response is not about you, it's about them. If you have a good friend you can trust to look out for any trouble, let them handle it and you focus on the two of you. Good luck x
Invite them and tell them that if they can't be civil for one day then don't come.
Invite them all and let the ones who want to be there, be there... I did this with my three sisters, and it was actually my maid of honour that was difficult, in the end I told her not to come 🤷️
Invite them all, they should be civil considering it’s your day. My mum and dad aren’t together but were civil with each other for my sisters wedding. My h2b parents are separated also, I’ve just told them that if they can’t be civil for one day then they don’t come. Just don’t sit them next to each other and tell them to keep out of each other’s way
Invite them all but make them aware this is your day and you will not tolerate bad behaviour. They can then decide to “suck it up” and stay out of each other’s way or not come. My parents don’t talk and would rather not be in the same room as each other but they will both be at my wedding, just not together
Invite them all and tell them that the day isn't about them so put their petty problems aside and smile for one day x
invite them all and tell them its your day and not about them!! if they cant be adult enough for one day then just say you would rather them not attend! i would also remind them that over the coming years there may be other times they have to be in a room together (ie. if you have children their birthday parties etc) so they may as well just suck it up and get used to it :)
Sit them all down and tell them to grow up. If they can’t put it to one side for one day then don’t come. Be harsh. I had to do this and don’t regret it at all. This day is not about them it is is about you x
We had this problem. We invited everyone. Didn't have a head table and placed the family members who didn't talk or get on on different tables different sides of the room
Tell them either they come regardless of who's there or don't. Simple as really
Its up to u nt them....if they carnt put there differences aside for 1 day then fuck them there be begging to come if u didnt invite them then thats when u say r u gonna act like children then i woupd rather u didnt come its my and my ot day with our friends n family and i wont put up with daram as it costing us money for this day xx
Yep invite all of them then give them the choice whether to attend or not. At worse they will just avoid each other xx
Tell her she’s an adult and needs to act like one or she’ll be kicked out
We have a similar situation. Went through not inviting any or splitting one at ceremony one at evening reception.
As it stand one settled it by saying if we’re inviting the other don’t even bother inviting them whilst the opposite was willing to accept what was decided in order to be present happy to say that one will be getting the invite.
Invite them all! Im pretty sure they can be grown up enough to put aside their troubles for one day....
To be direct...
Confirm your date, or you'll risk loosing it
If you aren't on talking terms, don't invite them
If they're not on speaking terms, invite them all, make it clear they're all invited, and that you expect them to act like civil adults (not all adults are capable of this!) If they choose not to attend, can't put their differences aside for your wedding, it's their loss
Tell them that the day is not about them and you expect everyone to be civil
Sounds like you're in the same boat as me. My partner's parents haven't spoken to each other in over 10 years. He is going to be telling them if that want to start any arguments they will be escorted out and they will need to pay for their wasted space. At the end of the day they are there to see their child to get married who they both love
Let them host their own tables and have a sweetheart top table that’s what I done. X
It's both of your special day, so they need to just be civil for one day, and if they cannot, then they can decided not to come