UK
UKbride Member Request 4 Apr 2019

Do we pay for everything?

Hi, we are having 5 bridesmaids for our wedding. However, we don't know what it is custom for the bride to pay for or if the bridesmaids would contribute? The cost of dresses, hair and make up, jewellery, shoes etc is all starting to add up. Are we expected to pay for it all?

149 Comments
Hayley Marden
Hayley Marden 4 Apr 2019

It's up to you at the end of the day. I have asked mine to pay for trails I will be paying for hair and makeup, flowers and up to a set amount for dresses if it comes to more I have spoken to them and they will pay the difference.

Jodie Spindler
Jodie Spindler 4 Apr 2019

I'm buying their shoes and gifts hair or make up they can choose 1 and there buying the dresses or... We're gonna total everything up and then split the total for everything

Fiona Smith
Fiona Smith 4 Apr 2019

I’m paying for hair and my dad paid half their dress price 🙂 also getting them gifts 😍

Samantha Small
Samantha Small 4 Apr 2019

I bought the dresses there all doing there own hair and make up as they know how they like it and there buying there shoes as some can't walk in heels and some won't wear flats

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I bought their dresses let them choose their own shoes and I paid for hair they wanted to do their own make up

Anne-Marie Johnstone
Anne-Marie Johnstone 4 Apr 2019

Im paying for everything and giving mine gifts x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

Yes you should pay for everything. Otherwise you shouldn't have 5 bridesmaids.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I only had as many brides maids that I could afford, we paid for everything! If you want them to co tribute you need to make that known when asking them. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

YOU asked them to be part of YOUR wedding day — of course YOU pay!
It’s incredibly rude (and a very American thing) to expect them to pay their own way. Of you couldn’t afford it you should have asked fewer people.

Jo Ferguson
Jo Ferguson 4 Apr 2019

In my opinion, if you are expecting specific dresses/shoes/hair/make up/accessories you should be paying for it. If you are happy for them to pick the dress eg if you just give them a (reasonable) colour, wear the jewellery/shoes they want, and have the hair/make up they want then there is more flexibility. It’s your day, not theirs, so why should they be out of pocket for things you want?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

My bridesmaids bought their dresses and I paid for their hair and makeup. I also got them each a necklace as a thank you.

Kirsty Thomas
Kirsty Thomas 4 Apr 2019

I'm paying for everything

Jo McPherson
Jo McPherson 4 Apr 2019

I’m paying for everything (sine offered to pay) but since I asked them and will be choosing (with their input) I didn’t feel right asking them for cash.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I'm going to be my best friends bridesmaid and I'll be buying my own dress and shoes :) there's 3 of us x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had 5 bridesmaids and I paid for everything for them, dresses, shoes, make up, hair and nails. I asked them to be part of my big day so didn't expect them to be out of pocket.

Nikki Knickerbocker Glory
Nikki Knickerbocker Glory 4 Apr 2019

I've brought dresses, hair, makeup, flowers. Brought them champagne glass and robe as a gift. I've only asked them.to sort their shoes as I'm happy for them to wear any style so long as they are comfy.

I wanted them to be bridesmaids so I've paid

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

If you didn't tell your bridesmaids they had to contribute before you asked them, you can't ask them now!! You can tell them however to pay for there own hair and makeup, as in my opinion that's on optional extra that isn't actually needed!

Tim Evans
Tim Evans 4 Apr 2019

Both times I was a bridesmaid, I did my own hair and make up. One wedding the mother of the bride paid for my dress the other was paid for by the godmother of the bride.

Nicola Bishop
Nicola Bishop 4 Apr 2019

I’m paying everything for mine I think I’m asking them to be a bridesmaid so they shouldn’t pay ( remember they will also pay to go on Hem dos etc aswell) xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had 3 adult brides maids and 1 moh- asked all 4 to pay for thier dresses and shoes, and they were all more than happy to do so as i really couldn't afford it all.
I paid for hair and make up .
I think if you want someone to be your bridesmaid, but can't afford to pay of everything (because lets face it, everything wedding is crazy priced) then discuss it with them. I don't think it's rude in this day and age to ask for help. None of my bridesmaids even questioned it, they were just made up to be asked and to be apart of my day. X

Sammy Sandison
Sammy Sandison 4 Apr 2019

I too will have 5 .3 of which are my adult daughters I wouldn't dream of asking them to pay anything. I have also bought them all gifts to thank them for being a part of our day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I’ve been bridesmaid a few times and either contributed to the dress or make up. If I was a guest I would be paying out for a new outfit no different If your a bridesmaid x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I gave my bridesmaids a contribution to the dresses (I only asked for colour, they could choose their style) and then half to hair and make up xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I didn't feel right asking them to pay for clothes they wouldn't wear again. It can be quite expensive and I didn't feel it right they shud pay when it's my day/choices. That's literally just my view tho x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

Yes it’s custom for bride to pay for her bridesmaids dresses. There are lots of sites with affordable dresses

https://www.ever-pretty.com/uk/

This is where my latest bridesmaid dress is from as I’m one of 6 bridesmaids

Michelle McGee
Michelle McGee 4 Apr 2019

Had 3 bridesmaids. I bought dresses, flowers, jewellery and paid for hair. They were happy to pay for shoes and their makeup (if they wanted it doing).

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

When it comes to sorting my wedding out. I’m getting them to pay for their dresses and I’m paying for everything else x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I paid dresses only sort there own make up hair n shoes etc that way they have what they want n fell cumfy

Debbie Osborne
Debbie Osborne 4 Apr 2019

It is customary to pay...hence why I just having MOH...to expensive to have more and I don't see point...only need one person to be there as witness...never understood the want of vast array of bridesmaids!!

Karis Strong
Karis Strong 4 Apr 2019

Personally I think it’s up to the bride.
I’ve been a bridesmaid twice. Both time dresses were paid for- both time I paid for my own shoes.
One time hair and make up paid, other time it wasn’t.
You just need to be upfront and honest from the get go so there’s no confusion.
I don’t think it’s unfair to ask them to pay for their hair, makeup, shoes or adjustments to dresses. Good luck! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

Personally I am paying for everything for them - I've asked them to be a part of the day in that capacity so feel it's unfair to lump the cost onto them. The only thing they need to pay for is their trials (if they want them) and their rooms for the night of the wedding.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

All my bridesmaids put half towards their dresses. I was going to pay for the hair but my mate did all of the hair for free. They did their own makeup and if they wanted a professional they had to pay for it themselves. We were on a tight budget and my bridesmaids are all wonderful and we're just happy to be part of the day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

We paid for ours except for makeup as we did our own. I just told them what colour palette/tones of eyeshadow and lipstick I'd prefer.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had 3 bridesmaids I bought their dresses and shoes, they paid for hair

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses and make up (some didn't have it done professionally so i left that up to them) and I paid for their hair. We all chose dresses together though so i wasn't expecting them to pay for something I chose!!

Tracey Beet
Tracey Beet 4 Apr 2019

For my bridesmaids I've bought dresses,shoes,accessories.my maid of honour is doing their hair

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I’ve paid for dresses, make up and hair. Shoes are a very personal choice as to what they feel comfortable in and would wear again or already have. The dresses need altering as bought online, they are covering this relatively small cost. All are receiving gifts. I have3 adults and 2 junior. Adults are receiving a necklace the juniors a customised teddy bear and bracelet. Also made customised hangers for their dresses, and buying a customised T-shirt for all for the morning getting ready. Our ceremony isn’t until 2.30pm at our venue, so robes felt a bit daft for so long. Feel free to message me if anyone wants info of where I’ve purchased stuff. Good luck all x

Anna Kain
Anna Kain 4 Apr 2019

It’s your wedding. Do it your way. I got my bridesmaids dresses and paid for my maid of honours hair and makeup but everyone else sorted themselves out to their own preference. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I’ve got 3 bridesmaids I’ve brought their dresses and 2 are having hair and makeup paid for, 1 wants to do it herself I would happily of paid if she wanted. They’ve brought their shoes, and accessories and bags x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I would say yes for the dress and shoes, if you don’t mind how they have their hair and makeup you can say I’m having these people do my hair and make up if you want it done to here are the prices. if you asked them. I would be miffed if a bride asked me to pay for it all though.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had 2 bridesmaids and bought both dresses for them and paid for adjustments to them.I paid for their hair and make up and hair accessory’s and flowers.
I only asked them to get their own shoes x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

When I asked mine asked at the time of they would mind getting their own shoes. Thry need to be comfortable and I'd rather they bought something that fits well and is comfortable, but everything else will be paid for by us x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had 4 bridesmaids and paid for their dresses, hair and make up. I only had one girl have the hair trial. I gave them their jewellery and hair piece as part of their thank you gift. I let them buy/pick their own shoes as I wanted them to be comfortable knowing they would wear their shoes all day. They all had long dresses so shoes weren’t visible anyway x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

There is no set rule, it's down to personal preference. I was a bridesmaid twice a couple years ago, 1 wedding I paid for all my stuff, the other was paid for by the bride and groom. I got married last year and was doing it on a budget. I wanted my nieces and nephews who are mostly young to be involved and my sister and sister in law happily took on the cost of their dresses/suits and shoes. What I did do was shop online for dress ideas, the older 2 had dresses from Amazon that were no more than £40, the younger ones got their dresses in the debenhams 20% off sale. The kids shoes were in a clearance sale at Tesco, the older ones on sale at debenhams. As a thank you I bought them all a personalised gift and jewellery to wear on the day. Paying for their own attire doesn't have to be an expensive affair!

Rebecca Saunders
Rebecca Saunders 4 Apr 2019

We paid for everything apart from shoes as they are such a personal thing!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses they are my sisters so that probably makes a difference I am doing hair and makeup and I bought everything for the three flowergirls I do not think it is rude to ask if they could contribute so long as it is not overly excessive and if they are family members it can be part of the wedding present to you.

Jan Haslam
Jan Haslam 4 Apr 2019

My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses as they were so happy to be part of my wedding. They did their own make up and hair too. I bought them all gifts. I think it all depends on your budget and if your bemridesmaids don't mind helping xjx

Clare Hoog
Clare Hoog 4 Apr 2019

I'm having 5 bridesmaids too. It definitely is starting to add up with everything but I will be paying for all as I wouldn't expect them to pay for anything as I don't think it's fair to ask them to pay when I have asked them to be in the bridal party. 2 out of the 5 bridesmaids are doing their own make up as it's their preference, so least I'll save on that small part!!😁

Claire Shone
Claire Shone 4 Apr 2019

I have paid for anything that I want them to wear specifically, so have paid for dress shoes hair, make up and jewellery they are paying for anything else they want to add such as nails and bag x

Kirsty Cleall
Kirsty Cleall 4 Apr 2019

We are getting married in two weeks, I paid for bridesmaids dresses, petty coats, flowers, hair accessories, they are buying their own shoes so they can choose and adds their flare to their outfits ...xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I have 9 bridesmaids & I'm paying for it all. I wouldn't dream of asking them to pay! I'm asking them to be a part of my wedding, why should it cost them money for something I want? in my opinion if I couldn't afford it I wouldn't ask them.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I'm having 3 bridesmaids. I'm a student and 2 of my bridesmaids are aswell. I've said I'll get the dresses for them, and a friend of my mum's are doing our hair for next to nothing, so I've said I'll cover that too. They're paying for shoes, accessories and whatever else they might want, and they chose themselves what they want :) they know we're on a budget, and they're all fine with this arrangement x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had six bridesmaids we paid for dresses, flowers, shoes, shawls and accessories for all of them - other than the dresses for my two little sisters as my mum insisted on paying for those. We had our hair done for free by a family friend and I asked them to do their own makeup I had quite a few people who offered to contribute or pay for their outfits but said no - it's up to you, but if you talk to them about it I'm sure you will be able to come to an agreement that is suitable for all of you.

Martine Andrews
Martine Andrews 4 Apr 2019

Iv asked mine to get a navy dress that suits their shape size , il pay for makeup and hair

Joanne Simmons
Joanne Simmons 4 Apr 2019

I think it all depends on individual I have paid for dresses (bracelets as presents ) flowers they can wear what ever shoes that they are comfortable in but I won’t be buying them my stepdaughter is one so I’ll be paying for all of hers and I have also paid for a house the night before with meals and breakfast, and drink,I’m happy for them to have there hair and make up done how they like it but won’t be paying for that, I have 6, you have asked them to be on your bridal party but as close friends and family they should Understand the cost of the wedding and to please everyone is impossible you have to be straight forward with what you are going to pay and what your not.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

We paid for dresses and for them to stay at the hotel the night before but they paid for hair, makeup and shoes because we were having some money troubles.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I got married last Seot. I bought the bridesmaids and flower girls dresses and their hair accessories. The bridesmaids paid for the make up and up do. I got 4 bridesmaids and maid of honour. They bought their own jewelry , and shoes. I think the major thing are the bridesmaids dresses and hair accessories if you want them all to match. It was an honour for them to be a bridesmaids and to play a big part on my special day. No one demanded extra luxury. For that I was grateful. Enjoy your Wedding Planning , it comes so quick. May you both have a Blissful Married Life Together. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I dont think there is a right answer.

For my wedding, I covered all costs as I felt it was my duty as I'd asked them to be a part of my day..

But, I was asked to pay for my own dress when I was a bridesmaid and was more than happy to do so...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I kinda thought it was expected of the bride to pay, seeing as though she asked her bridesmaids to be part of her wedding

Heather Hawkins
Heather Hawkins 4 Apr 2019

Dress shoes and hair..

Bethonie Lewis
Bethonie Lewis 4 Apr 2019

It’s totally up to you and what your bridesmaids can afford! I’m buying their dresses and flowers but that’s it! I’ve told them I am hiring a hair and makeup artist who will be able to do them too but at their own cost! However ive said its a choice as i didn’t want to say you have to be professionally made up but i cant afford to pay for it. I wish I could afford to do it all but it soon adds up and weddings are expensive enough as it is! Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had 8 bridesmaids (🤦‍️)

I paid for their outfits, flowers and shoes, they sorted their own hair and makeup if they wanted it doing, some just did each other’s hair in the morning.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I personally wouldn’t expect to pay but I also wouldn’t be upset if I was asked to contribute. I’m paying for my bridesmaids dresses, hair and make up. But because it is so expensive I’m only MOH, junior bridesmaid and 2 flower girls. I think it’s up to you, if you can afford it or not. There are some nice dresses that aren’t expensive and you can pick things up in the sales x

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2019

I had 3 bridesmaids and with me being a student at the time we were doing everything on a very tight budget. I decided to go for long navy blue dresses but let them pick what they wanted (gave a bit of there own personalities into it, and them being them is why I chose them) but they made sure I was happy with them to, some were less than £20 I believe but they paid for them themselves as ut was there dress. Everything else they got to choose whatever they wanted, if it was slippers I didn't care as long as they were comfortable as being uncomfortable can show in pictures. I only paid for the flowers and hair and make up which was a great price once I shopped around

Anne Shields
Anne Shields 5 Apr 2019

I'm having 3 bridesmaids and a flower girl paid for all there dresses. They paid for there shoes etc without me asking. I'm paying for there hair to be done and there doing there own makeup even tho I'm having mine done professionally they know I'm on a tight budget so they understand xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I paid for their dresses they paid for their shoes (and kept with my colour scheme) I didnt pay for hair or make up. I bought then little gifts of hair accessory nd bracket each as a bridesmaid gift

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

The only thing I’ve asked Bridesmaids to buy are shoes and it’s only caus I feel shoes are a personal choice, I’d hate if someone told me what shoes I had to wear. In my opinion, the couple should pay. Bridesmaids aren’t a necessity so we would have done without if we couldn’t have paid. It was always part of the budget.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I had 3 bridesmaids and a junior bridesmaid - I bought their dresses, they paid for any alterations. They bought own shoes (they chose what they wanted), and they paid for/did their own hair and make up and accessories (whatever they wanted). Altho i did ask for a specific hairstyle that they could tweak a little. We had a baby a couple months before the wedding so had to cut costs and I won a competition for my hair to be done so didnt even pay for mine anyway but was important for me to pay for the dresses.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I've bought the dresses and paying for hair, but shoes I'm letting them sort their own and to their own comfort. They are happy to get their shoes. We've got all sorts of colours too so they have some freedom on colour too.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

You pay for whatever you want to pay for. If they don't like your decision they don't have to be bridesmaid. Just makes it cheaper and easier for you. Sorry to be so blunt but I realized that you can't take any s***, planning a wedding is stressful enough without people moaning. As long as you and you OH are there and both happy that's all that matters. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

You should pay, they shouldn’t have to be out of pocket because you want them as your bridesmaids, costs them enough as it is with hen parties and gifts and money for drinks etc, being a guest at a wedding is costing an arm and a leg as it is let alone having to buy your own bridesmaids attire , I paid for all my bridesmaids outfits hair make up shoes and jewellery

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Traditionally in this country you’d pay for the dress. If there’s any specifics you’re wanting ie all matching shoes hair or makeup done a certain way you’d pay for that too, if you’re fine with them choosing what they want for these things then you don’t need to pay. Don’t forget you asked them, it shouldn’t cost people a fortune to be part of your day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I find it really frustrating when people choose dress etc and then expect the bridesmaid to pay. If you have somethint specific you want them to wear, you pay. Especially if you add make up, etc. I'll be paying for dresses (there's lots out there for only 30/40 each, i don't expect them to pay to have hair and make up (we will do ourselves), i might get them to get their own shoes.

But again, have a chat with them and see what they say.

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 5 Apr 2019

I paid for the dress and flowers, I give them the option to pay and hair and make up if they didn’t want to do it themselves. All but one paid for make up and they all paid for hair, I told them they could wear any shoes they want! Literally!

Not a lot of people would agree with me not paying for hair and make up because I wanted them to be my bridemaids but they all offered to help me with the cost so I didn’t have to pay! If they didn’t like it they would have said.. simple as that! I don’t see the point paying for everything for them just because I’ve asked them to be bridemaids.. I’ve never been one but if I did I would pay for things myself as it would be an absolute honour to be someone’s bridemaids..

Don’t go spending loads just because they are bridemaids and you think you have to.. well you don’t!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Shop savvy get dresses from non bridal shops as triple the price I got stunning dress s from marks and Spencer’s for £49 each full length they all bought there shoes kept flowers simple not massive, makeup they did themselves hair I had a mobile hairdresser amazing - Glam Ward... Sasha. Buy things in the sales but avoid bridal shops as charge more for dresses and accessories. Sorry to anyone I offend. But used to do this for a living and when you are on a budget you need to know how to save pennies

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Shop savvy get dresses from non bridal shops as triple the price I got stunning dress s from marks and Spencer’s for £49 each full length they all bought there shoes kept flowers simple not massive, makeup they did themselves hair I had a mobile hairdresser amazing - Glam Ward... Sasha. Buy things in the sales but avoid bridal shops as charge more for dresses and accessories. Sorry to anyone I offend. But used to do this for a living and when you are on a budget you have to save where you can

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I had a tight budgeted wedding with 3 bridesmaids and I paid for the dresses but requested them to arrange there own own hair make up and shoes.. I allowed them to make there own choices with all these decisions as it was them paying they could do there own or arrange their own I only asked that everyone's shoes were the same colour which was silver pretty fair if you ask me x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

It depends on you and your bridesmaids really x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

U asked them to be bridesmaids. U pay. Or if u can’t afford it then they can wear what they like ie I can say I’d like u in a particular colour but can say I need u in an exact dress that costs a silly price. Regarding hair and make up if u want them to have it done professionally on the day u pay or they can do their own. I had 4 adult bridesmaids and 4 kids I bought dressed in the sale of bus wedding department was £80 I paid £40 and shoes were £15 reduced to £7. Make up and hair was a package also included my mum.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Why do people even have to ask this? It’s YOUR wedding so YOU pay for everything I would never of dreamed asking my bridesmaids to pay to be apart of my day, that’s just downright rude!! If you can’t afford it rethink about numbers.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I paid for everything except shoes... dresses were long enough to cover them. One chose heels and my sister chose sparkley trainers! Meant they were both comfortable and their shoes fit rather than me choosing for them! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I had 3 brisemaids, 2 flower girls and a ring girl. We also had 2 groomsmen and father of bride. Every single one was kind enough to offer to pay for there dress/suit which helped us loads. We paid for accessories, shoes ect. We just maid sure we found dresses/suits that were not too expensive.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I’m also having 5 bridesmaids and I’ve paid for the dresses, hair & makeup. They all have their own shoes they’d like to wear and I’ve said they can wear what ever jewellery I like. If you’re worried, just be discreet about it... like ask if they have shoes theyd like to wear. Most girls do. Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I had 5 bridesmaids too, i paid for everything but their shoes... dress, flowers, hair, makeup, gowns to wear for the morning to get ready in, pj’s (which were for the hen do but they wore the night before the wedding too) & jewellery. If you add the costs up it’s a lot, but I wanted them to use my MUA & hairdresser so couldn’t expect them to pay

beverley summerhill
beverley summerhill 5 Apr 2019

I paid everything and asked them to pay for tan and nails which isn't expensive I even paid for their over night accommodation at the venue the night of the wedding, I chose to get married and asked them to be bridesmaid I don't expect them to have additional cost

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I got the dresses and shoes, I had 3 bridesmaids. They chose to do their own make up and had a friend that was a hairdresser come and do their hair very cheaply as a favour. I bought them some jewellery as a gift for being my bridesmaids, nothing expensive but a lovely set. I also got matching hair pieces and their bouquets. However I got their dresses in a sale in a bridal place so only £50 each, hair pieces also kn sale so I think £15 for them all, again jewellery was in a sale so sisnr come to alot. I got what I could afford. It wasnt an expensive wedding as we didnt wnat nor could we afford that.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I also am having five and am doing a mixture. I’m paying for their dresses (£80approx each) and said they can have hair or make up but not both or pay a contribution. Otherwise I’ve spent nearly £1000 on just my bridesmaids! I’ve told them that and they are all fine with it. It’s so expensive and I’m sure they’d understand this.

Jordan Alexandra
Jordan Alexandra 5 Apr 2019

I'm paying for dresses, jewellery and flowers, they are paying for hair, make up and nails and shoes

Laura Robinson
Laura Robinson 5 Apr 2019

Mine are paying for their own hair and make up and I’m paying for everything else. It was either that or they had really cheap bridesmaids dresses and they all agreed. If they want to be a part of your day then they’ll pay it xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

We payed for our bridesmaids dresses and asked if they were okay paying for Hair&makeup which they didn't mind x

Meghan McCrimmon
Meghan McCrimmon 5 Apr 2019

So what I’m doing is asking my bridesmaids to find a dress in a colour palate that they like and that way they buy something that they like and will probably wear again. I’ve had other friends that didn’t buy bridesmaids dresses either or even go for a colour scheme, just asked their friends to wear something they feel amazing in. I think if you want your bridesmaids to wear something really specific then you should pay for at least part of it, but if you’re willing to be flexible on what you have then it’s ok to ask them to pay for part or all of it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses and any alterations needed and also paid for their hair as they were the things that whilst obviously they helped me choose as I wanted them to be happy and comfortable, they were ultimately my choice and I wanted them to coordinate. Anything else that I didn’t have any stipulations over, make-up and shoes, they paid for. They all chose to have their make-up done and they bought shoes they would wear again. I didn’t even think about jewellery so they wore their own

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

When I was a bridesmaid I contributed a little my friend got the dress and my hair done and I payed for my makeup and shoes x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

You’re never expected to pay for anything, despite what you read on the internet about traditional weddings, it’s 2019 you make the decisions nobody else. Not to mention, your bridesmaids I’d hope they’d see it as an honour that you asked. The purpose after all is to be supportive prior and on the day and assist you where necessary. However, you cannot control how others interpret the role “bridesmaid”.

The number of bridesmaids you’ve chosen, could significantly impact on your budget if you were to pay for everything.

Maybe suggest you’d buy their dresses & hair but everything else they purchase themselves? They don’t even need to purchase anything else if they don’t want to, assuming they have shoes, accessories to compliment (of which most women do). There makeup is down to their preference and they don’t necessarily need flowers.

It’s your day, it’s your preference - do what you think is best. I’m sure they’ll understand why you’ve made your decisions and hopefully they’d find it within themselves not to challenge your decision and see the bigger picture.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I think if you are expecting them to wear a dress that you choose then yes you should buy it, again if you want them to have a certain hairstyle and makeup done by a professional then yes you should pay, if you’re happy for them to do their own makeup and hair then that’s fine! Just my opinion, as you can see from the responses everyone differs so it’s really your choice. Best to sit down with them and have a chat about it all!

Gemma Wheeler
Gemma Wheeler 5 Apr 2019

My bridesmaids (I had 4) paid for their hair and shoes as I’d let them have free-reign on styles. I paid for everything else. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I had 3 bridesmaids, I paid for dresses, flowers, shoes and jewellery. They were all happy to do their own hair and makeup. All but the shoes I got from jjshouse and shoes from new look! You asked them to be part of your day, you should pay if you want them all to look the same

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

We were on a very tight budget so we had to ask our bridesmaids to pay for everything. I didn't even pay for my own makeup and hair had it done as gifts. The only thing we did make sure was that they could choose their own style of dress, they all got to choose as long as it was from the same website in the same colour and they all looked amazing xxx

A member uploaded image

Lauren Nother
Lauren Nother 5 Apr 2019

I paid for dress and hair. They all paid for their make up x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

When my daughter was bridesmaid we paid for hair, makeup & shoes & the bride for the dress & wrap to cover shoulders

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Ladies.. every one who says it's rude and awful to ask a bridesmaid to pay for thier dresses.. let the shoe be on the other foot ( as it were)

What IF your best friend said to you "Hey i would love for you to be my bridesmaid and share my special day with me, but i'm struggling with the finacial side, would you mind paying for your dress and shoes as my wedding gift. I'll pay for everything else. You can all chose the style of your dresses and jewelery"

What would you say to her?

Would you cop a strop and find it rude that she asked you to pay? So much so that you say No to buying the dress your self?

Or

Are you excited for your best friend and of course would help her out to see her get the wedding she wants and get to be a part if it?

Because let me say, if you are half the best friends mine are.. you'd not bat an eye lid about it. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I've told mine they have to find their own shoes and that's it, I've been lucky enough to be able to say I'll get everything else and budgeted for it. But If they good with make up and happy to do their own. I thought it would be a nice touch to have all our make up done professionally x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Dresses and flowers usually, the rest it's up to you... however if u want their hair n make up a specific way, also yes B n G pay. If it's up to them either do their own or pay themselves, again if you want all matching shoes BnG pay or again get their own...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I'm on the fence about this. I can totally see why people would ask bridesmaids to cover the cost but on the other hand I think it's a bit unfair asking them to pay for everything when you asked them to be bridesmaids. Maybe have less bridesmaids so they fit in your budget?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Of course you pay!
I paid for my bridesmaids dresses, and flowers
The dresses were long, so they wore their own shoes (you couldn't see the shoes so they could all wear what they liked/were comfey in)
I gave them the option of having theirs hair and/or make up, but they paid for that (or didn't have it done if they didn't want)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I'm a bridesmaid for my best friends wedding and all the bridesmaids have had to buy thier own dresses, own shoes so far and I'm guessing we will be buying our own jewellery and if we want our hair and makeup done we will have to pay for that also. It's does add up unfortunately x

Donna Tunney
Donna Tunney 5 Apr 2019

Wow such highly opinionated people. You know your bridesmaids and their situations. I have bridesmaid twice as an adult on the first occasion my dress was hand made for me and I paid for my own shoes and hair/nails and did my own makeup. I didn't have a problem with this. The second time I kt 3 weeks later my dress and shoes were bought for me and my hair was paid for also. I did my own makeup and we were given specific jewellery on the day match the theme. Surely you do what is right and affordable for you and your friends /family. Good luck x

Stephanie Wood
Stephanie Wood 5 Apr 2019

I bought dresses and paid for hair for most of them but two used their own hairdresser and paid for their own. I said they could wear their own shoes so they bought their own and they did their own makeup. I think it’s fine for you to ask for them to pay for their own shoes so long as you don’t dictate which ones they should wear. I got long dresses so it didn’t matter. Also, if you are looking for good quality cheaper dresses then go to Wed2b. I had 7 bridesmaids so they all wore the same colour, length and material or dress but chose the style the suited best out of 4 styles.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I asked them to be my bridesmaid so we paid for everything for them don’t think it’s fair for them to pay. I worked extra shifts to pay for them.

Rachel Doxey
Rachel Doxey 5 Apr 2019

It’s personally up to you. If there Children you should pay for them it’s generally an American thing for them to pay there own way . Could you pay for dresses and they pay for there hair ?Do there own makeup maybe? Or maybe find cheaper dresses or ask them if they mind ? Or do you have a family member who could help ?

Natalie Stavrou
Natalie Stavrou 5 Apr 2019

I was in the same situation. I have a lot of bridesmaids and so I kindly said to them how they would feel about contributing something to their dress. It didnt go down well so to keep the peace I said to forget about the whole thing. I do think that it is a very american-ised custom and it depends if you think your friends would be fine with that!

Maybe ask one of them on their own and gauge what they think first

Jessica Wilson
Jessica Wilson 5 Apr 2019

At the end of the day they are your friends and family and stuff the opinions of people on here. If you cant afford to pay for dresses shoes hair and makeup whatever then just tell them that this is the sort of style youre going for and the colour range etc and that they will need to purchase them, it also means that its something they like and might wear again. Theyre your friends and family at the end of the day and they will understand that its a lot of money. As for the people saying to cut it down, how would you feel if you got asked to be a bridesmaid and then told sorry you cant anymore because i cant afford it, youd bloody offer to pay! Its awful to make the bride chose which friend or family member "doesnt make the cut" or "is the least deserving to be paid for".
Every other guest pays for their attire on the day so why not the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Just do whats best in your opinion, my bridesmaids are all covering their own costs without even being asked to, some people clearly more understanding than others

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

We had one bridesmaid as we felt we should pay. I have beautiful friends who I see more that the bridesmaid I had 10 years ago at my wedding. I love them dearly. Friendships change, they come and go. Life changes. It all feels very important now. Getting married for me was not about the wedding but the marriage. Spending a lot of money on one day seems a little bonkers to me (unless you have the means).
There is a huge world out there and we are a tiny part of it. Try and stand back and see the bigger picture. The smaller detail doesn’t often matter.

Charley Kelly
Charley Kelly 5 Apr 2019

I have been a bridesmaid for both my sisters. One I had to pay for my own dress and paid for my own hair and did my own makeup and the other paid for my dress and hair and I did my makeup. It’s whatever you can afford. For my wedding I will be buying the dresses but if my bridesmaids want their hair and makeup done they can pay themselves as I don’t mind how they have it. If I had a specific look or wanted them all to have the same hairstyles or something I would pay. Hope this helps x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

My bridesmaids bought their own shoes and dresses, in a style that suited them. I specified the shade of purple that I wanted but other than that they had free reign. Meant that they both felt comfortable on the day and have worn their dresses since then to other events

Suzanne Hunton
Suzanne Hunton 5 Apr 2019

Did you think about this *before* you decided you needed 5 bridesmaids?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

We bridesmaids did our own hair for my brothers wedding and makeup and the dresses/shoes etc were paid for by our parents (as all the bridesmaids were his sisters/fiances sisters)
For my sisters upcoming wedding shes (currently) planning to pay for everything except our shoes.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I bought the dresses for my bridesmaids and would expect to. But I think prescriptive hair, make up and shoes is a bit draconian, let them choose their own style for that.
My bridesmaids were children though so the dresses weren't that expensive.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I paid for the dresses but my bridesmaids sorted there own shoes make up accessories etc.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I paid for all my bridesmaids

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I paid for my bridesmaid dresses and there hair and makeup and jewellery but they bought there shoes and done there own fake tan

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I wouldn’t expect my bridesmaid to pay as I was the one that asked them so it’s my job

Caroline Larner
Caroline Larner 5 Apr 2019

I paid for trials, hair and makeup on the day and their dresses but the bridesmaids offered to pay for their shoes, bag, jewellery, accessories etc. which was really sweet of them. I felt that I'd asked them to be part of my day so should pay for all the items to be honest.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

If these ladies weren’t in your wedding they would still be attending which would still cost them money for outfit, shoes, hair, make up.
I’m paying for dresses, hair, make up & I’ve bought them earrings as their gift. I don’t care what shoes they wear & what other jewellery they wear.

Jo White
Jo White 5 Apr 2019

We have paid for ours, shoes, dresses, hair accessories, suits and shoes for paige boy, etc etc

Aimeé Rolls
Aimeé Rolls 5 Apr 2019

It does add up. But ask if you really need to have someone do their hair and make up if you can’t afford it? Their dresses you should pay for though, but that’s my personal opinion.

Can any of the girls do hair or make up? They could do each other’s? Get some practice in beforehand and try some tutorials. Make it a bit more fun?

The only thing my girls are paying for is their shoes and bag, as they can use them again and again so they can keep them. I’m saving £16 a week for dresses and hair and make up. Which will also give me an extra £120 to spend on them for lunch or even accessories.

Good luck. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Maybe ask them to pay for shoes but the rest I would pay for x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I have been bridesmaid 4 times, once as an adult. The dress was handmade but I did own make up and paid for my hair to be done (to the bride's spec might I add!). She asked us to buy our own shoes but gave us a minimum of what she wanted (heels no bigger then x, must be white etc.)... I don't think it is unreasonable to ask the bridesmaids to buy a few things - if they don't want to they don't have to be bridesmaid!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Normally the bride pays for their bridesmaids. If you can't afford to do that then you really should've considered whether 5 bridesmaids was a good idea!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I had 5 adults and 2 flower girlsi bought their dresses bit left them to buy shoes and pay for the hair and make up if they wanted which most did x

Clare Fallon
Clare Fallon 5 Apr 2019

I’m paying for dresses and hair as I want them all to be the same. With shoes and make up they can wear what they want and I have asked if they mind paying for them. They are all more than happy to pay!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I paid for dresses, hair and accessories. I asked them to get their own shoes but they could have whatever they wanted in gold. They paid for their own makeup if they wanted it

Sarah Gardiner
Sarah Gardiner 5 Apr 2019

I was originally only having 2 bridesmaids due to what we could afford (my step-daughter to be and my cousin as my maid of honour). I had a really emotional chat with my best friend of over 20 years as I knew she'd be expecting to be asked, I explained as much as it broke my heart, I couldn't afford to have her as a bridemaid. She said if that was the only reason for not asking then she would happily pay for her dress. So now I can have the 3 I want - I've kept dress cost down as I didn't want me or her to pay much (£27 on ebay), they can wear whatever shoes they want as you won't see them under the dresses, I am paying for hair as I have some styles in mind (approx £35 each), I have told them I am happy for them to do thier own makeup but if they want it done by makeup artist they would need to pay (approx £35 each), I have bought some flowers from Hobbycraft and B&M to make their poseys (about £10 per posey) and I have got some bracelets from Ebay with coloured stones the colours of our wedding to give to them (£7 each). So all in all, their costs are optional - makeup and possibly shoes if they don't have anything they want to wear (apart from one who has paid for her dress).

.Melanie Brice
.Melanie Brice 5 Apr 2019

I'v got 6 bridesmaids and the only thing iv asked them to pay for is their own shoes.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Don't think there was any need for all the arguing on this.
I had 5 bridesmaids and I paid for their dresses and hair and shoes they all did their own makeup and had their own jewellery I think if you're asking them to be your bridesmaid you should pay but also think its upto you at the end of the day if others are happy to pay then go for it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

Of course you should pay, it’s very American thinking of expecting bridesmaid to buy there way into a bridal party

Mel Ive
Mel Ive 5 Apr 2019

My bridesmaids know myself and h2b are paying for everything ourselves, they have offered to pay for their dresses and hair and are wearing their own shoes. Being honest couldn't do it without them xx

Laura Wombwell
Laura Wombwell 5 Apr 2019

Wow some of these comments are very rude!
I got married 10 days ago. I paid for the dresses, my bridesmaids happily paid for alterations, their own Shoes(most wore what they already had) and I asked if they wanted hair and make up doing (which they paid for) when you are paying out thousands to get married, buying gifts and paying for their meals asking them to help if they want things done is not rude or selfish

Deborah Pennick
Deborah Pennick 5 Apr 2019

I bought dresses and flowers they bought shoes and paid for hair and makeup and I gave them a bag with necklace as their thank you gift. I only had 2 bridesmaids x

Tanya Alexander
Tanya Alexander 5 Apr 2019

I’m having 5 bridesmaids. I paid for dresses. Was going to pay for hair each but at £50 each we Couldn’t do it. Do my bridesmaids mind . Nope. Not paying shoes or make up. We just can’t afford it all. We have a big wedding. Due big family . If my bridesmaids thought was rude or disgusted by then they have choices to make ;
1) be fine with it and understand
2) be a guest not bridesmaids .
Things cost and add up. Added expensives crop up to. Yes we would love to but need to be realistic. Great if other brides who can do that. Sorry we can’t.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I bought the dresses the flowers and the shoes, which they chose and still wear. I wasn't bothered about them having professional hair and makeup and I couldn't afford for it for them. My sister paid to have her own makeup done which was her choice so she had it how she wanted it. I think if it is a set image and style you want the you should try and pay for it yourself. The only thing I wanted the same was the dresses so I bought them but I also paid for their room as I know that money is also tight for them and they preferred that

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I also had 5 bridesmaids. I paid for the dresses, flowers and hair piece. I bought them necklaces and earrings to wear on the day, which doubled up as their present. They all wore there own shoes, as floor length dresses it didn’t bother me what they wore. And I said they had the choice to pay for their own make up and hair or do it themselves. They all paid to have it done. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

I had SEVEN bridesmaids and paid for everything I was dictating which included the dresses, hair and flowers of course. I then gave them option as to whether they wanted their makeup done by my makeup artist (which they would pay for) and some did, some preferred to do it themselves. I also let them wear shoes of their choosing. And I brought a bracelet each as a thank you to wear on the day. xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2019

You should pay for everything
If you can’t afford it don’t have bridesmaids

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2019

I stuck to the rule of ‘if you pick it, you pay for it’. I wanted my bridesmaids to have matching dresses, matching shoes and matching hair so I paid for all that. I didn’t think it was fair to make them pay for things I had chosen.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2019

We paid for everything apart from their nails,tan and hair/makeup trials xx

Leigh Hanley
Leigh Hanley 9 Apr 2019

I'll pay for my bridesmaids dresses, but everything else will be left up to them x

Julie Jones
Julie Jones 1 Oct 2019

I have been thinking the same and trying to decide what to do 🤔 we will be paying for hair &makeup, gifts to say thank you, flowers and planning on dresses (if dresses are too expensive I think we will be asking BM to pay half) and they are to buy their own shoes. X

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