UKbride Member Request 31 Mar 2019


Hi, So i need help, I'm getting married in November this year. I have to pay per head and one off my guests have said they might come they might not. What do i do? Thanks in advance xx

Dannielle Bird
Dannielle Bird 31 Mar 2019

Hi, when you send your invites you usually out a date to RSPV by. Most venues don't expect to have final number until about 4 weeks before.

Hayley Marden
Hayley Marden 1 Apr 2019

Message or speak to her and make sure shes coming. Whens the RSVP date as you still have a while before the wedding?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Tell them you need to know by September (Assuming your venue only needs 4weeks notice for numbers)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Just tell her you need a definite answer as your paying per head ,she should understand xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Yeah I’d tell her you need to know ASAP otherwise she cannot come. And to be honest I think you’ll find quite a few people will say they’re coming and not come even though you’ve paid for them anyway unfortunately.

Rachel Doxey
Rachel Doxey 2 Apr 2019

Explain that you need to know a definite answer- and if she can’t tell you say that she can’t attend as your paying a lot , people don’t always understand how much it cost sometimes

Andrea Lawlor
Andrea Lawlor 2 Apr 2019

I had a guest like this. I told them that I had to know a minimum of 4 weeks before and if they didn't tell my by then, then they weren't coming as simple as that.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Someone did this to me and I left it as long as I could but I had to ask them to make an ultimate decision and explained to them the reason I needed a definite answer but said they could come to the evening still.

Samantha Small
Samantha Small 2 Apr 2019

We get married in August and on the invites we said they have to confirm by 1st June or they won't be catered for xxx

Keisha Hull
Keisha Hull 2 Apr 2019

Be firm if they won't give you an answer by your deadline tell them it's too late.

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 2 Apr 2019

I would give her a set date and tell her that if she hasnt told you by then that you'll have to sadly assume she isnt coming as your venue are pushing for final numbers by that date.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Tell her you need a definite answer for numbers, even jokingly mention if they are a no show then you will bill them for their meal. We had people pull out 3 days before the wedding as they were collecting a puppy, it was the best man and his partner. He kindly appeared half way through the meal, she didn't appear at all. I don't think people realise the stress they cause when they do things like this.

Laura Shergold
Laura Shergold 2 Apr 2019

We gave a slightly lower number of guests to venue. We get married next Friday and we’ve been told we can add 1 or 2 on a few days before. Check with the venue x

Debby O'Gorman
Debby O'Gorman 2 Apr 2019

Check with your venue if they will let you add a couple of extra people at the last minute. Pay the deposit for the rest and if nec add them at the end then you don’t loose out. Saves on the awkwardness then.

Shakira Badwal
Shakira Badwal 2 Apr 2019

Just say if she can't give you a definite answer then you'll only be able to invite her to the evening bit x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Tell them they might get fed they might not

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Even people who tell you they're definitely coming can not turn up on the day. You can ask them to let you know by X date, but you can't really force them to come. They'll either say yes then not come, or no and then come or vice versa. If they don't give you an answer then assume they aren't coming

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Explain u need to know by certain date

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Spell it out to her - "we have to pay £97 per guest, obviously we'd love to spend that on you, but if you don't intend to come, I need to either fill your space or save my money."

Amy Vigor-Green
Amy Vigor-Green 2 Apr 2019

Give them a deadline date to decide. Everyone knows it costs the couple money so they will understand.

Amy Glasgow
Amy Glasgow 2 Apr 2019

Tell her to bring a chair and a sandwich 😂 this annoyed me at our wedding. People don’t realise how expensive it is and mess you about!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Be prepared for it happening. Tell them you need to know because it costs you money.... and so you can ask someone else x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

I had 5 drop out on my wedding after rsvp’ing yes, 2 of those were on the day! So if they can’t give you an answer then I wouldn’t count for them! Or count them and have someone reserved to bump up to a day guest if they let you down.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Just invite them to night time do ..then if they turn up its ok if they dont .there loss .

Jenny Hirsh
Jenny Hirsh 2 Apr 2019

Have a buffet per head, it'll still get eaten if they don't come that way.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

Tell them they are uninvited!!! No time for people to mess around for me, youve invited them to be present at the biggest, best, most important day of your life. It's either a yes or a no simple if it's a maybe then I'd just have to take it as a no Hun their loss not yours, they can still attend in the evening xx

Amee Goulding
Amee Goulding 2 Apr 2019

Give them an rsvp date and if they dont let you know by then, dont pay for their meal. Theyve had plenty of time to get back to you x

Rachael Morris
Rachael Morris 2 Apr 2019

Id tell them that without a definite yes you'll have to mark them as a no just to the fact you have to pay per head.. You can be polite about it and no shame in that.. and if they get funny they are not really friends/worth worrying about...xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Apr 2019

You have to allow for some people not to go. People will get ill or not be able to make it who have confirmed. There are empty spaces at all weddings. So you could miss them off then add them last minute if you need to.

Hayley Muir
Hayley Muir 2 Apr 2019

Give them a deadline and tell them that if they haven’t told you by that date they came come as you haven’t counted for them

UKbride Member 3 Apr 2019

Try to really set the date by you need to know, as people don't realize it's so important. So giving them heads up on how much you paying maybe? We made ultimate date till we needed to know as our families have to travel from far, so gave them 1 advance, which is long enough for everyone to make up their mind and safe the date :)

Claire Newstead
Claire Newstead 3 Apr 2019

Give them a deadline for if they're coming or not. If they say no and still turn up then tough tits for them. If they say yes and then don't come then unfortunately you'll be out of pocket a little bit. I'd send them the bill afterwars but I'm petty 😂

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2019

I have told all of my guests I need to hear by May this year if they are coming or not and I’ve said no maybes. My wedding is in October and I need to plan my table plan and I have said to all to ease stress I want it all sorted in advance

Wendy Greenaway
Wendy Greenaway 3 Apr 2019

I had to give a date to say when the cut off point is and if I don't have a deffent answer I would put them down as not going as don't won't to pay for people who are not going to turn up

Natalie Austin
Natalie Austin 4 Apr 2019

Give them a rsvp date. If they are undecided or haven’t replied take them off your list. Simple as.

Sian Whelan
Sian Whelan 4 Apr 2019

If the guest is saying they may or may not come surely your better off not inviting as anyone who cares about you and loves you and wants to share that special day with you would have said yes straight away xx


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