My sister is getting married later this year, my wedding is booked for 2021. My sister asked me to be her MOH which I agreed and have been busy planning her hen party etc. When I got engaged the majority of her wedding was already planned but we have been going to wedding fairs together and generally discussing what we like etc. My problem is that she is now taking all my ideas and using them for her wedding!!! She has so far changed her bridesmaid dresses and centre pieces to be like what I wanted and has been talking about changing her music and cake! I’ve dropped hints that I’m upset but she has just shrugged them off. I know other people probably wouldn’t even notice if they were the same I’m more upset because I would never do it to her! I feel like I can’t plan anything now until hers is over and am starting to resent putting any effort into hers. Should I say something to her or just get over it and pick something else?
If your genuinely upset, it’s your sister so she would understand. You need to sit her down and tell her how you feel.. if she doesn’t understand or change back to her original ideas then tell her you’ll no longer share wedding ideas etc, that’s what I would do anyway x
Your wedding is still a way off yet. Chances are you will see different things that you like between now and then. After your sisters wedding you might decide that you don’t want your original ideas anymore. Your whole day will be totally different to hers - venue, guests, colour scheme etc so I wouldn’t worry too much. As long as she hasn’t picked the same dress as you x
Remember it's your sister so u should both always talk honestly. Instead of thinking she's taking all ur ideas maybe think different. She mite be indecisive or look up to ur opinion and not even realise that's she's up setting u. Talk it out. Make a joke u don't want everything the same with same guests. Ask why she's changed plans. U don't know what she's thinking without talking. Good luck
I wouldn't say anything to her personally. As yours isn't for a while you're likely to change what you want anyway. I reckon you should not share what you want with her in too much detail but look on the positive side, copying is the best form of flattery. Like you said even if you did end up having similar, know one would notice and even if they did, they wouldn't say anything x
I wouldnt say anything to be honest. Your wedding is still a way off and its highly likely you'll change your mind too.
If it really does niggle at you then maybe just be honest with her. She is your sister after all
I’d start going to some wedding fayres alone and finding other things you like and don’t tell her just jot down the info on everything you like because this time next year you may decide on other things you like a lot better
I wouldn't say anything just enjoy the fact you have amazing ideas, so much that your sister loves them too.
Your sister's support and love each other on each other's special day. Remember why your getting married.....none of the table settings, cake, colours, or even dresses after the day, it's the love, vows and the promise you say and make to each other on the day you will remember and cherish xjx
Say something to her, but also DON’T DISCUSS YOUR WEDDING PLANS - especially if they’re getting married near or before you! Progress in silence, that’s something I had to learn the hard way, not just through planning my wedding, but in running my business too.
Fashions change and you’re going to the same wedding fairs. Are you not just having the same ideas from seeing the same things? Also, 2021 is quite a way off and things might change again so you may not even want those things by there when you see new things offered.. xx
Take it as a compliment that you have such fab ideas but from now until her wedding, don't mention what you may or may not be doing :)
With this sort of thing as her wedding is first it’s likely that people will see it as you are jealous (even if not) unless everything is absolutely identical it’s not worth upsetting yourself over.
Have a quiet word and just say you are flattered she likes your taste but you are unhappy that some of your ideas have made their way into her day. Also recommend keeping other features of your day quiet as it’s nicer to have a surprise.
Oh bless u, i think the best thing to do it just wait til her wedding is over and when you are closer to your date start thinking about your day because you will change your mind on things anyway, but when talking to your sister maybe look and discuss ideas that suit her and keep your ideas to yourself xxx
Like others have said your wedding is quite a way off at the moment. Plenty of people change their colour schemes and what they actually want when they get closer to their wedding, so by the time yours comes around you may well have changed your mind. Also people wont always remember what they saw at your sisters wedding as it will be 2 years apart.
Dont worry yourself about it, plenty of other things that you can do differently
In 2021. Bridesmaids dresses and colour schemes will have changed to something else.... I wouldn't worry
My daughter is getting married this summer... I'm bloody glad that she's not worrying over things like colour n dresses.
Just don’t tell her anything else and start re-thinking the bits that she has copied you’ll find something else will come out and like it so much better. Don’t worry too much, you’ve obviously got such amazing taste that she feels the need to copy it.
Personally think that is disgusting and I would 100% say something. Yes the 'trends' will have changed by 2021 but you may not have changed your ideas... Your sister should have had the respect to not use those ideas, especially as her wedding was already pretty much planned
I would tell her I’m upset, as it’s your sister. Hopefully she will see your side of it and be more considerate. If she’s not I would wait until after hers is over to plan anything else for yours or just don’t tell her anymore of your ideas. Hope it all works out xx
I would keep your ideas to yourself. Because your sisters I’m sure you share similarities. Your ideas may change between now and then . Maybe once her Wedding is over you set things in stone . If your very upset maybe you should sit her down and explain that it’s bothering you a lot and you would appreciate if she didn’t keep changing her ideas as your trying to come up with ideas for your wedding not for hers
I would keep your ideas to your self. Give your opinion on her ideas and which you prefer but if you’ve put your ideas out there in the open. And she falls in love with them, I’d just let it go. She is your sister. And you’ll forever know you made her day perfect. I promise you you won’t even like the same stuff in 2021 😂 fashion and decorations move on so fast. I changed my mind in 1 year to a completely different idea. Don’t stress just anything serious serious keep to yourself.
Take it as a compliment that she thinks your ideas are good but if it is upsetting you then don't tell her anything else.
Start writing down what you want and just don't tell her what your thinking or what you want. Give her advise and ideas but different to the wedding you want.
Also trends always change by 2021 there might be newer better trends for you to have.
I wouldn't confront it but you've dropped hints and could calmly mention that you're rethinking your ideas. Take it as a compliment and let it go. You both know where the ideas came from and you'll have better ideas for your own once you're over this hurdle. In the mean time don't tell her your new ideas and don't make a big thing of it. Styles, colours, trends change you can still have an amazing wedding it'll just be a little different to what you think right now. Good luck x
Styles and colours change so quickly! By 2021 everything you like will no longer be in.. so I woudnt worry or plan anything till at least end of this year
I wouldn't worry. You are not getting married until 2021 you may see something even better by then! Xxx
I wouldnt say anything atm as you dont want to ruin her experience,but I wouldnt plan your wedding with her until after she's had hers. You can always tell a little dib if she asks and just say that you want to help plan hers and give it your full commotment and then plan your afterwards.
Don’t say anything, it’s not worth it, just don’t discuss anything else, you have loads of time, anything you may like or want for your wedding keep quiet. I understand your frustration, but some people don’t have an imagination, so they need help, help her, just don’t give your ideas away that you want for yourself, also by the time your getting married different things will be in, and you may not like your own ideas by then, or you May have better ideas. X
You know if that was me and she was being nasty like that I'd be like ok and be that petty that I would be telling her stuff is beautiful that I hate so that she will change her mind and buy all the stuff you hate 🤣
Have a double wedding
Someone I know has consistently stolen my ideas so now I only tell her crap ones so she can steal those instead 😂. Not so much of an issue for me though because I don’t really like her 🙈🙈
Just don’t tell her your plans from now on
I would just let it go. Instead of thinking what is pretty you should start differently. We picked the place that reflected us best and then the dress matched the place and my bridesmaids matched and it all fell into place. This was because we put ourselves at the centre. If you do this she cannot have the same as your love for your partner is different. I agree stay quiet on those things you live from now on but look at it this way; what would her day look like without you? A mess probably!
Give her some really crappy idea... Hehehe. Write down and take pics of what you want and keep bits to yourself xx
Don’t tell her what you want then. Get her wedding out the way with what she wants then concentrate on yours. Xx
Reverse psychology.. Tell her what you like stuff make sure it's stuff you hate and not stuff you want.. As they say all is fair in love and war xx
You def need to speak to her about how you're feeling she may have no idea you feel like that but don't tell her what you like do the opposite xxx
I feel she probably isn't realising what she is doing. When you're getting married you become caught up in it and want everything to be perfect. I bet if she knew how you felt she wouldn't be doing it. I would not be doing what people are saying and telling her horrible ideas, she is still your sister. Just say that you fear many of the ideas seem similar and you want to ensure both her and your own wedding will be unique. I am sure she will understand
I’ve had this same problem! My H2B’s sister keeps asking me about my wedding ideas and she is already planning her wedding. Even though she isn’t getting married yet but she keeps putting all my ideas into her scrap book. I hated this idea as I want my wedding to be unique to me and my partner so I have stopped sharing ideas about what we are doing and are telling people it’s a suprise