Claudia Brett
Claudia Brett 23 Mar 2019

Family

What’s the best way to make everyone happy? My fiancé’s family won’t travel far for anything not even his wedding !!! My family couldn’t give a damn they’d do anything for me and my fiancé but his family live on a farm and they won’t leave the farm without someone on it. Any ideas of what o should do

45 Comments
Sarah Harris
Sarah Harris 23 Mar 2019

We live 45 minutes to an hours drive away from my partner's family, we have booked 5minutes away from our house. If they want to come they will travel.

Hayley Marden
Hayley Marden 23 Mar 2019

At the end of the day its between you two and family regardless will make the effort to come

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 25 Mar 2019

My mother in law didn’t come to our wedding because she didn’t agree with us getting married so soon even though we have been together for 4 years and have 2 children.. so we got married without her.. if family don’t make the effort to come is it really worth worrying over? Do what makes you both happy x

Dani Smith
Dani Smith 25 Mar 2019

Yours and your partners ha ppiness is what matters most. You have your wedding however you want. I'm sure they can make arrangements in time, don't let this upset or stress you out. :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Don't bother inviting them or tell them where it is and when then do nothing, it's not your problem it's theirs to sort x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Plan the wedding you two want. The family that support and love you will be there no matter what. It's you and your partners day, do what makes you guys happy xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

If you’re marrying into a farming family then get used to it! Time to learn about their way of life and try to understand exactly why they can’t leave the farm easily. Not saying you should change to accommodate them but don’t take it personally or that they don’t care about him...it’s a completely different way of life than most of us are used to.

Amy Vigor-Green
Amy Vigor-Green 25 Mar 2019

It's you and your husbands special day. Do what makes you both happy. Invite everyone and it's up to them to make the effort.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

You can't please everyone, so please yourself. Don't let them hold you to ransom. Make your plans and get married, with or without them

Amanda Cox
Amanda Cox 25 Mar 2019

They can easily find someone to look after the farm even if they hire someone or get a cousin to look after it. If they can’t be bothered to go then screw them

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Ouch, some people are harsh. Everyone has their own life and own commitment. And a farm is a huge one! Hi can’t just disappear for a day, even if it’s for a wedding! I’m sure they’ll need a lot of notice and distance will be an issue as it adds to the time they are absent. Can you chose a venue closer to them at all? Does your partner want them there? If so, a little bit of compromise will help everyone be happy. Yes, it’s your day and you should have it as you want it, but the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around that day.

Nicole Gomer
Nicole Gomer 25 Mar 2019

In a normal situation I would say stuff them, but they probably havent had a day off in years. I'm sure they would love a holiday, or even a christmas day off! But it truely isnt that simple with a farm, dont take it personally x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Yes get married where and when suits you 2... if they care they will come x

Cassie Bush
Cassie Bush 25 Mar 2019

Have the wedding on the farm!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Elope

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Wedding on the farm, hay bales, marquee, amazing food and drink and see if you can get glamping tents as accommodation for yourselves and guests, or get people to stay in caravans (their own touring ones). Would have loved this for ours.

Karolina Kozak
Karolina Kozak 25 Mar 2019

Wow, and my family and friends are coming from a different country. I think your partner needs to have a word with his family and make it clear to them that it’s your day and you would both love them to be there. If they want what’s best for him they will come. If they still don’t get it, do you really need them in your life?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Marquees or teepees on the farm?

Hayley Wright-Mitchell
Hayley Wright-Mitchell 25 Mar 2019

Maybe have the wedding on the farm? Have they got a barn?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Perfect solution ! Have a farm wedding. Barn/ marquee. Search on Pinterest I would have loved a barn wedding if I did it all again

Louise Lydia
Louise Lydia 25 Mar 2019

Don't try and please everyone. Someone will always be unhappy with something.
It's hard, it took me a while to get my head around it, but YOU and your future husband getting married is all that married. If they love you both and you give them enough notice they will be there. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Do wot makes YOU and ur FIANCEE happy, sod everyone else and if his family cant make the effort for their sons big day then it's their loss not urs x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

I like the idea of eloping because that's what I did but your family wants to be there so I'd consider the farm if that's a possibility.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

If it’s a dairy farm have wedding about 12 ish then they have time to milk and get back to milk later..try and have it near to them if they want to come to wedding.,get hubby to talk to them.ihad my wedding so my dad had time to do everything.he went back to milk later then came back to night do.venue was only 30 mins a way.we got some help to do other jobs.always some family member that would help.xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Elope

Katie-Louise Curnow
Katie-Louise Curnow 25 Mar 2019

Farming families can't just drop everything for a trip away, no matter how important it is to them. I bet they haven't had a day off in years. If you're marrying into a farming family surely you understand that farming is a way of life and not just a job you can arrange cover for? A farm is the perfect (free!) venue for a wedding. At the end of the day you should do what you want, but if they don't come it doesn't mean they don't care. Anyone who has said otherwise here clearly doesn't know any farmers 🤷‍♀️

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

My partner's family are Romanian, we have told them the date and will send invites nearer to the time and we are settling with whoever comes comes, whilst accommodating people is nice ultimately it's our day and along as we have given enough notice then it's down to them xx

Maria  Bywater
Maria Bywater 25 Mar 2019

Have the wedding on the farm!!! Invade the land. Use a barn. Then you have a free venue and can spend more doing it up. Space for people to drive or let people camp there and spend more on booze and food and music and decor and save all that money on a venue!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Tbh if they have animals that’s just a farmers life they come first before family it’s admirable if that’s why - I like the idea someone gave about a farm wedding tho

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

We live in Wales and are getting married at a local pub. We moved here together a year ago and it's our home now. My family are coming from Poland and Canada and his from East Midlands. Trust me, if they want to come, they will. No matter how far.

Laura Stewart
Laura Stewart 25 Mar 2019

Farm wedding, embrace the outdoors I guess x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

You could bend over backwards and still people won’t make the effort. It’s very much their loss! Have the day you and your partner want .. and whoever wants to be a part of it will be! Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

Perfect solution ! Have a farm wedding. Barn/ marquee. Search on Pinterest I would have loved a barn wedding if I did it all again

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2019

I had this issue for my previous marriage. His family had to attend a tup sale so they missed most of the day. I think there should be someone who can take care of the place, perhaps a neighbouring farm they are friendly with? Sadly farmers are not easy

.Melanie Brice
.Melanie Brice 25 Mar 2019

Couldn't you have the wedding at the farm. Do it up barn weddings are quite nice then they won't have to go anywhere.

Tiffany Carlile
Tiffany Carlile 25 Mar 2019

Invite them to where you want the wedding and let them sort it out.
If it truly matters to them to be there then they’ll be there

helen bavister
helen bavister 26 Mar 2019

Can you have the wedding in a barn or something on the farm?

Tracy Bailey
Tracy Bailey 26 Mar 2019

My family live on the other side of the country, my fiances dad lives in Portugal. They're all making the effort to come 🙂 if they don't wanna come that's their loss. You can't please everyone, just do what makes you happy. You don't need the worry of it on top of everything else.

Sarah Sharpe
Sarah Sharpe 26 Mar 2019

Can you have the wedding on the farm land? Big marquee? Hog roast , camping for guests who want to, amazing opportunity. Unfortunately farms cant just be shut for the day, but people pay a small fortune for them as a venue

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

If they can't all go because someone needs to be on the farm then that's just the way that's gonna go, have your wedding where you and your fiancé want to spend your special day and whoever can go will go

Amy Taylor-riseley
Amy Taylor-riseley 26 Mar 2019

Your wedding is for you not them, if they can't make the effort their not worth it xx

Caroline Larner
Caroline Larner 26 Mar 2019

Do what you and your fiance want to do. Those who want to come will come and those who don't won't. Don't arrange your day around other people - it should be the other way around! Have the day you want and as long as you are together and say your vows the rest is just trimmings so try not to worry. Good luck!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Our families live around three hours apart... So we said stuff them all and picked somewhere we wanted to get married. If they wanted to come they came and did the journey. If not they missed out. You can't please everyone, providing you aren't being purposefully difficult be confident in your big day. I wanted to run off and get married alone but due to family we had grandparents, siblings, their spouses and kids and a few friends, our wedding easily could have exceeded 100 people as I have a large family but even what we had felt too big for me! And I still upset people. Go with what you want. Everyone's a critic.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Mirin McAuley it wont load wanna read the comments kayer

Natasha Daas
Natasha Daas 28 Mar 2019

Do they not have any one they can entrust on the farm for half a day if they just come to the day time bit? I work in this sector so can understand their apprehension but I am sure they can find somebody trustworthy x

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