Feeling down right now. My H2B and I had finally started making decisions about our day like our wedding colour scheme, invitation design etc and then today, after showing his mum and few of our ideas she told us she doesn't like any of it ! :O I understand everyone has their own opinion but she's literally said she can't stand our colours and doesnt like the designs etc. It's thrown me right off, and i feel like our wedding will be stupid (even though we know it wont) im now rethinking all of our choices and I don't want to be worrying about what people think but now it's all playing on my mind
Who's paying for wedding? If just you both then really it's what you both want. Even if people are paying a bit it's still your day and so you can take their option on board but it's your choice at the end of the day.
My MIL doesn't seem to be on board with anything we want for our wedding, she didn't like the idea of either of the places we thought for the wedding, the colour scheme, nothing.
She even had issues with our ideas for combining our surnames.
I'm now just ignoring her and doing what we want. If she doesn't like it, tough, it's my wedding
Your wedding, your day.. Your going to get people like this.. Luckily I haven't
Foreal, it’s not her wedding. Do what makes you happy. If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t need to go.
Stop showing other people!
It’s between you and your husband to be - simples
Honestly hun it's yours and your h2b's day. It's down to the pair of you as to what you want to do. Yes it's nice to include people and get their opinions but everyone will want something different. I know a few people who planned their weddings for other people instead of themselves and they regret every second of it. Do it for you! Xx
If she’s paying then sure, if not then tell her where to go.
Can i ask what difference it makes what she thinks? Is she paying towards it? If not then she really hasn’t got a say and you should both do what you want x
It's not her wedding. It's yours! You are allowed to have what you want x
Dont tell anyone anything! Learnt that myself. There is always an opinion, idea or negative from someone. Its your wedding both of you so do what you both want. Sod anyone else xx
Don't worry about anyone else's opinion it's your day no-one else's... and regardless if anyone has contributed financially it does not give them a say in anything!!.. do what you love and just enjoy it?
Me and h2b were like that as well but now we r doing wat makes us happy and because I stood up 2 my dad who was trying 2 put his foot down on things his side of the family aren’t coming and neither is he or my mum and if that’s the way it has 2 b I’m fine with that they will miss out make it about wat u and ur partner want not any1 else xx
Tell her to stuff her opinions. IT'S YOUR WEDDING! Seriously, why care what anyone else thinks
Just don't show them anything , do it your style and then you can go ahead and do it how you wish xx
Do what I've done.... Don't invite her... Your day no one else's xx
That's why you dont show anyone anything!
Not her wedding.
She isn’t the one who is getting married. You are!! Tbf you shouldn’t care what people are gonna think. It’s your wedding day at the end of the day. You shouldn’t have I worry or please other people. Only your H2B and yourself
It's your wedding day, you have what you want, even if the mum is paying she shouldn't be putting her opinion, she had her day
Quite a few of my family members mocked my ideas and didn't like the idea of me doing a Halloween wedding instead of doing it the traditional way. I think sometimes people forget that it is YOUR day and not theirs. If you and your fiance have decided what you want then you should stick to that. Don't change your plans to put the happiness of others before yourselves on your wedding day.
Don’t re think. Ur wedding ur choice. U can’t please everyone and a colour scheme won’t affect her x
For any future choices you make with your wedding, don't tell anyone. We all know the phrase "too many cooks"! It's not fair for her to dump all over your wedding like that, regardless of whether she's paying for anything or not. If you and H2B are happy then that's what's most important! She sounds like she only wants to criticise which is her issue not yours. People can get ridiculous during a wedding, don't let them spoil anything for you and have a lovely day!
Nothing to do with her its your and ur H2B wedding forget her and go with what you want x
I don't care who's paying for it, stop listening. It's YOUR day, who cares who likes it, who doesn't??? No one paid for mine, I had what I wanted, no one got asked and no one told me they didn't like it... it was so stress free, seriously if you and h2b like it forget everyone else, what does your mil know that makes you doubt your choices??? Ignore her and move on xx
Your day, your choices
Make it your special day , keep planning together. X
Hmm it is your wedding babe. Not anyone else’s. Do what you want to do
Good job it’s not her wedding ha
Unless whoever you’re telling is paying for it then don’t tell anyone anything. It’s amazing how everyone has an opinion in your day. Organise it yourself and when everyone turns up they’ll be fine and happy and wouldn’t dare say a word.
It's very hard to picture everything together anyway so it will turn out on the day that she loves how it all turned out. We didn't have a clue really and we did bits and pieces and couldn't imagine quite how it would look all together in the room and you know what it was perfect and it was really thrown together. We dressed our own room you see so had plenty to sort but it all looked great. She will love it in the end.
Uninvite her and put a stinking turd in her handbag.
Nope nope nope its ur wedding. If u so everything she wants, u will regret it
Don’t worry about it. It’s your wedding not hers. Do what makes you happy. X
God it’s so frustrating! Tell her you’ve decided to wear a shell suit then the other stuff she’s winging about will be small fry!
Please don’t let it upset you, as comments above lesson learnt and don’t say anything moving forward. Xxx
It’s your day and you should do what you want . don’t let others dictate . Some people will
Never be happy
We got married in summer and we went for burgundy and ivory, my dad told me it was too much for a summer wedding and burgundy was more of a winter colour and that we should change but we stuck to our guns as it was OUR wedding and everything was so perfect I wouldn't have changed anything. My advice is do what makes you happy not everyone else it's YOUR day and you want to enjoy what you choose not what everyone thinks you should have. Good luck and enjoy the planning xx
It's ur day do what make you feel happy not everyone else
Get HTB to tell her that it's not her choice but to trust you both. Believe me, this is really important to set your stall out with her now! She will continue to battle with you, on bigger issues like kids etc So stand up for yourself now but make hubby deal with it and stand up for your ideas .
Yawn...
It's yours and h2b's big day ignore the rest of the family, if they don't like something tell them not to come.
Some people just can’t be impressed! Have what you want. It’s your day. It’ll be amazing whatever you decide don’t worry
Even if your mother in law is paying for the wedding it is your day. She is not the one you are marrying. Tell her you appreciate her opinions but if she can’t be nice about it then you are going to have to exclude her from the planning and preparation part. I know it’s hard but you don’t want the added stress of having to please her, it’s your day do it your way
Not one opinion matters , it’s you and h2b’s wedding. Don’t show anyone anything just do what you both agree on and like and let everyone turn up and enjoy YOUR day x
Tell her to do one!
It’s your day it’s a day that is special to you and your H2B don’t let anyone try and ruin that! If you want something it’s your decision not theirs! Have your day the way you want it!! Make it the best day and don’t let anyone bring you down! It’s all about you for that day 💕
I can’t understand people who think they can talk about a close relative’s wedding like that to the bride/grooms face. Our parents have both said it’s our decision as a couple who talk s dcqem
My mother has poo poo'd everything to do with my wedding. I've stopped listening to other people's opinions. It's your day and your choice, unless someone else is paying, f**k 'em.
Only share the information you want and don’t mind being judged on- people will always have an opinion and don’t feel like you have to listen to it. Just nod . It’s yours and your partners wedding no one else’s. Same for when you have children, they’ve had their kids.
She sounds really rude. Don’t show her anything else
My mum hated everything about my plans too. Doesn't like roses, doesn't like the thought of me wearing white because I had my son outside of marriage, didn't like the colour. I told her, my wedding, my way. People will have an opinion, whether you like it or not. Either don't tell people your plans or grow a thicker skin
Speaking from experience.. you will never please everyone do what makes you happy. 💕
Get a grip! It's your wedding who gives a damn if anyone else dislikes it. Will you be letting her decide on colour schemes etc if you ever want to redecorate your house?
I feel like people in this group forget the purpose of wedding.
It’s not to please others, it’s two people in love having a day the way they want it.
Stop sharing your ideas with her and just ignore her comments. X
Dont show her anything else..
It’s not that she hates them she probably hates she hasn’t had input. This is usually where the monsters surface in them. If you like it and know it looks nice then go for it. You can’t judge art half finished
It’s yours and your h2b’s day. Other people’s opinions don’t come into it. Have what you both want, otherwise in years to come you’ll look back and wish you hadn’t listened to others.
Don't involve anyone else but you and your H2B in decisions of your perfect wedding! It's your day and everyone else can showe their opinions where sun doesn't shine! Yous do whatever your hearts think of! Seriously! Wedding day is not for pleasing everyone else. It is for both of you... It's Your day. 💕
Aw no . I generally think that planning a wedding is only stressful because everyone else has an opinion on the matter ! You can’t please everyone . And shouldn’t haveto . Do what you both choose or you might not enjoy your day if you know it’s not what you truely wanted. It’s not about anyone else . Enjoy this time , it only happens once...most of the time xx
Id be like 🖕
At the end off the day it's your choice nobody else's it's your big day and if you like it so be it don't have to please everyone hun it's your big day not there's as long as you like them and your H2B that's all what matters don't stress out over it you don't need it at all xx
It’s got absolutely nothing to do with her. Your wedding, your choices! Xx
Your day.. your wedding.. simple.
Why can't people/family be happy for people on their wedding day anymore. Just seem to have more opinated selfish people. Do what you want to do it's your day x
This is your wedding your day and you have what you want.its a celebration of you uniting together not a fashion statement for everyone else so go for what you both want and be proud of your choices. I wish you good luck on your day! X
Its not her wedding...
Dont stress....The wedding is yours and your h2b,s.....you invite people to share your wedding,so any decitions are between u two... its a honour to share someones wedding with them....make it your own lovely....she will just have live with your choices.x
Sorry to this but it's YOUR wedding not hers.......you have what colours you and h2b want x
Good job it’s your wedding then and not his mums!!
No offense to your MIL but she sounds horrible. When it comes to YOUR wedding she should be more tactful if she doesn't like it. People have this weird idea that they have the right to equal input to weddings if they are parents or in the wedding party! They don't! Next time she says something like that tell her if she gets married again she should choose something else! My FIL is a questioner - why do you need to do that, it's cheaper to do this, even to the point of " why does the groom need to wear a suit, why not just a smart pair of jeans a shirt and tie" I just look at him like he is an idiot and get on with planning OUR day!x
A daughters a daughter for all of her life a sons a sons a son till he marries a wife !!!! I think your mother in law to be is being pedantic because your taking her little boy away ? Most rational people would not be so blatant about not liking your theme and colour etc even if they hate it . You have the wedding you want and if she’s not happy about it tough !!! Maybe your Fiancé needs to have a chat with her !!! Good luck hunni 😘
Weddings arn't weddings without 1) a clash of ideas for the big day 2) someone being offended by the guest list. 3) bickering throughout - either the bride and groom, family memebers and of course the obligatory butting of heads by the guests on the day itself just to liven it all up a bit haha. It will NEVER run completely smoothly. The sooner I realised that, the easier it was. Do exactly what YOU want to do. Everybody else does!! And (hopefully lol) you'll only be doing it all only once so sod what everyone else thinks! It's your day, not anyone elses. Congrats by the way! :) Oh and here's an example - someone said "Oh you've gone with purple.....they say purple is the colour of DEATH." I actually chortled. I said "Yes! Perfect, you've helped me pick the song for down the aisle...we can walk down the the Death March!" She wasn't amused hahahaha.
Ignore her. Carry on with what u and ur husband to be would like
To put it simply: it’s YOUR day. Nobody else’s !! Unless she’s paying for everything and it’s costing her an absolute fortune to go for that colour scheme.. then she needs to butt out.
Oh for Christ’s sake, she’s going to a free party celebrating the marriage of her child! Sounds like she needs to treat herself to a step back and check herself. If I were you I’d keep ideas to yourself and just make yourselves happy.
Theres always someone who will try and put a downer on your day, i have had to put up with it myself and it annoys me so much but my OH has kept stong saying no its what we want so thats what we will do. I hope you manage to keep to your ideas, id hate for you to regret not sticking to your ideas x
It's not her day it's yours. I didn't involve anyone else in our wedding decisions. We paid so it's our choices
Doesn't matter it's your day to celebrate with who and how you please.
We all have different tastes. Your wedding - your choice. Nobody else's business. Good luck
Oh well, it's not her wedding 😁 Have what you want & like.
Its your wedding go with what you want x
How horrible and sad. She should be happy she's gaining a daughter and support you. Even if it's not to her taste, that's what family should do. Ignore her and do your thing that makes you both happy.
I’m reading the room here and thinking I mustn’t swear. So I’d ask her politely to “go away...”. Bless you though. What a crappy thing to be feeling. I agree with the general consensus: it’s not up to her. (And have a wonderful wedding) xxx
it’s your’s n your h2b’s day and nobody else’s , you have what u want to have and don’t now start re-thinking the planning u have already done.... just remember it’s ‘YOUR’ day!! good luck, but stand your ground x
I had the same issue and I stuck to my guns had a fab day and everyone loved it you’ll get a lot of this along the way just stand by your choices and if they don’t like it well that’s their problem not yours
If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to come. Its your day, not hers
Never let other people upset how you and he feels or wants its your life ..your day be who you both are ..be true to yourselves x
Just saw this and thought of you 💕
DONT tell her ANYTHING. This isn't her wedding it's yours. Even if she's paying or not it's your day, your choice. Just day if she asks anything were not telling anyone anything now as some people like what were choosing and others don't so we're just going to choose what we both like and give everyone a nice surprise on the day. If you show people your ideas you'll get feedback and not always in your favour. Either be strong and go with what YOU like or be prepared to have a wedding designed by everyone else. You only get one shot at this so don't wake up on the morning of YOUR wedding hating your day as it's been designed by your opinionated mother in law. Old enough to get married, old enough to stand up for yourself and plan YOUR own wedding. Don't tell anyone anything if your not strong enough to fend off the negative comments. Less saudvtje better and then you'll have a day YOU like. Good luck.
It's your wedding so do what you want and choose what you like. We all have different tastes and your Mum should respect that.
Aww Angela it's your special day sweetheart of which you have been so excited about and looking 4ward to .stick to what you have already planned .I know it's wills mum but she will get over it .and you and Will are going to have a brilliant life as MR & MRS 🤗xxx
People go crazy when it comes to weddings honestly think it brings out the worst in some people! At the end of the day it is yours and your h2bs day no one else's. You can't please everyone so don't even try just so what makes u both happy and let everyone else like it or lump it! X
Don’t show people x
Its ur wedding day and, sorry to sound harsh, bit of she doesn't like it, Tough Shit!!! Its about u and h2b, crack on with wot U want and dont worry about wot she thinks xx
Her boy is getting wed syndrome. Maybe she just finds it hard to let him go so dislikeing everything is her way of trying to stop the marriage. So stop worrying she as the problem not you.
its your wedding not hers ! she might need reminding
Why is your h2b asking his mum for her opinion, it’s your wedding , the two of you should be making the decisions, unless she’s forking out for the day , she has no opinion ! .
Put her in her place now or she will get worse my dad was a nightmare, nearly took over the whole thing
It's not up to her damn rude of her tbh. It's about what you and your h2b want not her. Do what makes you happy! Tell her to do one!
Sounds like your MIL is a narcissist.
Keep parts of the wedding a closely guarded secret. Me and my husband had fun doing it that way and deepened our bond. We shared some stuff with others, obviously, like with my MOB, and even then I didn't tell her everything. When it came to the day, when everyone saw all the strings of organising pulled together, it will be lovely. Sometimes people don't have vision and see everything as a piecemeal and some ideas in isolation seem bizarre. I do not think there is a single bride on here that has not come across some sort of snide comment or criticism - it comes with the territory I am afraid - so enjoy the process, have what YOU want, but also dont discount what others day, what you may see as interference, you can also weigh up and see as either constructive advice, or something to throw out the memory bank.xx
How rude! Tell her she's welcome to attend but it's not obligatory!
It’s up to you and your husband to be! If she doesn’t like it, then that’s her problem! She is out of order telling you she doesn’t like it anyway. It’s your day, you have what you want
We didn’t consult anyone on our colour scheme or invite design. We picked what we wanted and went with it.
That's so bloody rude Han .... can always arrange for you to just bugger off to the Caribbean and have a free wedding in the sun!! ....just say the word bird! xx
You do it your way!
Its your day not hers
Tough shit, it’s YOUR wedding and no one else’s. Do you.
Do your own things
U and ur partner spent that time together, choosing together. That is special. I wud stick with wot u wer both happy with x
You should make your day your idea of perfect.
No one but you and your H2B will even care on the day what it looked like.
My husband didn’t even have one bit of involvement. He would of got married in the toilets for all he cared!😂
The only thing people even remember is the music and the atmosphere. Nothing else so decorations are just for you tbh. Don’t make it what you think everyone else will want. It’s what YOU (as hubby) want. Xx
My mum didn't like anything I picked. Then on the day when she saw it all come together she absolutely loved it
My mother in law used to walk out of the room every time our wedding was mentioned due to jealousy xx ex mother in law now 🥳🥳🥳
It's your wedding and if your paying for it tell go forth and multiply
I think she just wants to feel she has had influence and helped you make some decisions. Maybe ask 'what do you think of...?' and see what she says next time.
Darling it's your wedding your day. Make it special for yourself, not to please someone else x
Join UKbride for FREE today to submit your questions to hundreds of thousands of UKbride Members.