Hi, can I get everyone’s opinions on this please. Top table dramas! My mum and dad are divorced, no proof but my mum believes my dad cheated and tbh it does look very suspicious. His now current wife is this lady. My mum has said she will be civil on the day but she has strong beliefs that his wife should not be on the top table. My dad and his wife have contributed to the wedding financially so I don’t feel like I can say no you can’t be on the top table with my dad. I don’t want to disrespect anyone so I feel like it should be no parents at all at the top table.
Put them on opposite ends mix up put your mum with your partners dads and then your dad with your partners mum?
That way as well everyone is mixing and making effort to got on, on your day.
Why not have each parent couple 'host' a table of guests. That way neither mum or dad need to be on the top table nor on a table together?
I have the exactly the same problem! My dad is with someone else and my mum is remarried. Mum said she will be civil on the day. I am only putting my mum and dad on the top table along with my partners parents, not having my step parents on the top table. But sitting my mum with my partners dad, and dad sitting with my partners mum.
They are also both contributing to the wedding x
Both sets of our parents are divorced so our top table was bridesmaids and best man/ groomsmen. Worked perfectly for us xx
I'm not having a top table my parents are also separated and have both refused to sit on the same table so my partner suggested scrapping top table
We're avoiding top table drama by only having the two of us (and our newborn baby) sat there
I don't think it's unusual to have only your parents on the top table - blame it on numbers. Will she know other people there? If so, seat her with them
Has your step mother had a positive impact on your life? If you like her then why not have her there after all she's apart of your life now.
That sounds like a good idea, just have you your husband and bridesmaids on the top table, it saves all the hassle of fights, hopefully nothing will happen and if your parents cant get along for 1 day your special day then thats their problem
don't have a top table. :) for many reasons, me and my fiance are choosing to have a sweethearts' table; just the two of us.
I am getting married in may and my top table will just be my husband and myself , both of his parents are not with us any longer so it was easier just to have us
I personally wouldn’t even if she contributed to your wedding, if my mum was married to a different man it would still be their job as a couple to help you pay, same with your dad & his wife. But if your dad won’t sit with your mum and be civil like your mum will be then split them up like the traditional way. But personally I wouldn’t have the step mum on the top table. Just wouldn’t feel right.
My current mother in law and her partner (husbands mum and step dad) didn’t come to our wedding so we had his brothers sat on top table with us even though his step mum came.. just didn’t feel right x
I wanted both sets of parents at the top table but dad's one side mums the other or one of each sides parent each side so it wasn't uncomfortable. But his dad wouldn't. I didn't feel I could have some but not all parents at the top table, so in the end had bridesmaids and best men ext. Still wish I had my parents up there, and I think his mum would of liked to of. That was my only regret!
Have a sweet heart table with just the 2 of you. You can then have 2 tables to either side and have them on separate tables
We had our best man, sons and our 2 bridesmaids on our top table x
The easiest way (besides paying yourself and doing whatever you want). Have a sweetheart table. That way it's only you and your partner and you can sit your families as far or close to each other as you like.
Have your dad host a table one end and your mum host one the other end
We only had best man, MOH and our daughter at the top table
Too tables are over complicated why don't you just have bride groom, best man, chief bridesmaid/maid of honour
We aren't having a traditional top table (I also have divorced parents). We haven't quite decided what we're doing instead, but we've had suggested and like the idea of having the parents 'host' a table. So your Mum is the host of a table, your Dad and his partner host another, your fiance's parents host one. You could ask siblings or grandparents to host tables too, so you have the right number. They feel the lack of top table is normal, and nobody has their feelings hurt. You and your fiance can have a 'sweetheart' table for two, leave empty seats at each table and move around, or just sit with your bridal party.
I had issues.. and i wish i had just not done a top table and just had me and hubby as no matter what i did i couldn't please people, which resulted in dramas after the wedding. So my advice would be if ut seems like too much drama.. don't have a top table xx
My mum and dad are divorced both had new partners and both were at my top table without their partners. They were there as my parents to support me and my husband .. everyone was civil .. both parents contributed to the wedding and no one had an issue with this .. xx
Have a sweetheart table of just you and groom or if you have kids have you, groom, best man and your children. This is what we are doing ourselves
My parents are divorced and my mum has remarried but my dad hasnt. We asked everyone what they wanted and so my dad is going to have his own table with friends and well have a round table with me my fiance my mum n step dad and his parents which will be in with everyone elses tables so no official top table
We had a top table with with bridesmaids and best man and partners. Then three long rows of tables on which we seated parents (and new partners) on the seats closest to us. We has their seats reserved but no seating plan for the rest of the guests. Worked really well. At least it did until my drunk dad decided seat swapping ala Alice in wonderland tea party would be a good idea, and some people went along with it but not many!
It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but when I got married we just had my husband and myself on the top table and then the 3 tables closest were my dads, my husbands parents and then my mums, it worked really well and my dad said he really liked that he could see me x
Can I just ask please.. People who's parents are divorced and with new partners that only had their parents not the partners on the top table how was the partners reactions when they found out they were being separated during the meal?
Its ur day so have who u want at top table and if it was me it would be mum & dad only and the new wife should understand x
We didn't have anyone on the top table just ourselves and our girls. X
I think your mother would be very upset I'm sure your fathers wife won't mind ? If she has children I'm sure your father wouldn't be sitting at the top table at her son or daughters wedding or walking her down the aisle. At the end of the day money is nothing if its going to upset your mother who brought you up I wouldn't.
I don't feel that you need to have partners at the top table. My mum and dad are divorsed and I had them on the top table with my husband's parents. My dad's partner sat with other family members on his side.
We had just us, bridesmaids and best men (we had 2) on the top table with us and families sat either side of the venue but almost level with us to stop any arguements and friction...actually worked really well x
Two options - either put them at opposite ends of the table so there can be no hostility during the meal or have a sweetheart table and put your parents on separate tables with people they know and get on with. Do whatever you feel is least likely to placate everyone and what will make your day go smoothly.
At the end of the day it's a sensitive issue but it's your wedding so do what will make you happiest.
Why would you have her on the top table? she isn't a parent, she should sit elsewhere and be happy with that! If you don't want tradition then have a sweet heart table just you and your husband x
In this situation I would have (from left to right) bride mum and partner, groom mum and partner, groom, bride, bride dad and partner, groom dad and partner. Or whatever order suits you as long as you keep them separate they can all be part of the top table x
Any issues, have a sweetheart table, just you and your partner. Takes away the issue of the top table and still means they are all equal.
Yep none of them I agree! Your mum can't stipulate who sits where although I understand why she feels like that so all or none then nobody gets offended x
No parents at all! We had a long top table with our son between us, my husbands two best men his side, and my maid of honour and closest bridesmaid my side. We then had a round tables for the rest of the space. A table with my mum, her partner and kids, and my bro. A table with my dad, his partner, my uncle/aunt their kids and my grandad. Then a table with my husbands parents and family, infront of us, with the other tables of friends behind.
Worked perfectly for us 🙂
At my daughters wedding in Cyprus she had only the best men and bridesmaids as there was no room for second wives and husbands we were fine with it good luck
Don't let family dramas ruin your big day. My mom and dad are not together and becasue of a few dramas it's just going to be me and my husband on the top table. The others will be in tables nearest 😊xx
We aren’t having parents 🤷♀️ our wedding. I don’t give a shit if someone CHOOSES to financially contribute that’s their choice not a payment for a list of options that they decide.
Iam having my mum and dad on the top table, and there partners are on guest tables.. it's only for the meal, so cant see it as a problem x
Have your bridal party and groomsmen on top table instead of parents
My mum's boyfriend is not sat at the top table. My dad is dead and my brother will be in his place. He is not my dad so nice as he is he has no place at my top table.
My partners parents are also divorced but we aren't having my partners dad's girlfriend on the top table, just parents x
My htb and I are not having a top table for this exact reason. We are having a sweetheart table that is just me and him and then everyone else will be mixed in with the rest of the guests
Im only having a sweetheart table for me and hubby.x
i’m thinking of just having me and my partner at the top table. a sweetheart table i believe it’s called xx
When my step daughter got married, myself and her mums fellas were sat in with the other guests. It didn't bother either of us cos it was only for the meal, the rest of the day and the reception we mingled etc x
I like the just u and ur husband or something on top table but I think if u don’t put ur mum on top table it may feel a little like ur punishing her? I know that wouldn’t be the case and I don’t know your mum so maybe that isn’t how she will feel at all but just thinking how she may feel. I personally would put ur dads new wife on a different table with people she knows? I’m sure they didn’t contribute so ur step mum could get on top table they did it because ur dad loves and supports u and that’s lovely I’m sure he will respect whichever decision u make xxx
Have a sweetheart top table or just a round table. Easiest solution then they can be on separate tables
For our table we will be having the bridal party and the parents will sit with family on the tables closest.
How about a sweethearts table?
We're not having a top table because of complicated families too! We're just having me, husband to be, best man and his girlfriend and my chief bridesmaid and her boyfriend x
My husband to be parents r on the top table and my mum but her partner isnt he is only coming to the evening but i have out my nan on the top its your day so your decision
Don't have a top table. Me and my H2B are sitting with friends and our families are sitting together so they are with people they know and are comfortable with.
I had separate tables for all parents. Mum was on hers with her family, dad on his and the in laws on theirs etc. Thse 3 tables were directly in front of the top table. Our top table consisted on us our best man and m.o.h . Everyone was relaxed happy and enjoyed themselves with this set up x
We have same issue with split families on the other halfs side. We are going non traditional and our top table is just us 2 and our children. Every one can sit together on their own tables! Then there's no dramas!
We had the same separated parents, our top table went like this
Bridesmaid - step father groom - mother groom - me - groom - father bride - mother bride - father groom - step mother groom - best man
That way they are on opposite ends!
We are having the same problem with my parents. So myself and partner have both said that no parents will be at top table just us and bestmaid bridesmaid x
Do whatever makes u happy and they can suck it up and get on with it because the day is about you and your partner and nobody else.xxx
Buffet, sit where you want, why be so formal. We had a hog roast buffet in a pub garden under a marquee. Everyone said it was the best reception they'd been to.
We same but we only having parents on top table
Step parents can mingle with rest of wedding party
For me step parents had no dealing in my up bringing so they don’t have a say really were they sit...
I’d have a sweetheart table with just you and your husband.. that way you can seat everybody else on tables with people they’d like to be sat with and people can communicate as little or as much as they want to with each other. Yes they should all be adults on the day and it’s your day etc... but this is the real world and you’ll want to feel relaxed not looking up and down the top table to assess if there’s any friction. Have a lovely day.xx
Top table - myself, my husband and my two daughters. That’s it. Family dramas here and I will not tolerate it at our wedding
Go for no parents on top table and save yourself the aggro - sit with bridesmaids / groomsmen / friends / siblings
My partner's parents aren't together but have remained friendly thankfully! I'm planning on having both parents and our brothers on our top table, new partners mixed in with family members. :)
Its nice to have a top table but if they don't get on or it'll cause more upset than good just don't have one.
No parents at all on the top table, make sure they all get a thank you in the speeches though.
I did no parents at all. We had a table for two! which was nice meant we got a few moments together. Because same as me, divorced parents and only my dad is with someone.
No parents on top table. This is what me & h2b are doing for various reasons x
Stop trying to people please and do what you want not what others say or expect personally there are people in my wedding who don’t get on tough shit there sitting where I put them x end of day top table is parents usually so if you go with tradition no one can moan and whether they are financial contributing or not shouldn’t matter x I’m sorry if I sound a bridezilla but I get fed up of hearing people moaning about the weddings I’ve had it my answer is you don’t like it how we’ve done it don’t come problem solved and if they can’t be civil again problem solved don’t come x everyone should make it about you and your husband not them xx
My h2bs dad cheated on his mum with his now wife. So to avoid any drama we have decided to have a sweetheart table and let them and their partners host a table each. And have put the bridesmaids on a table in the middle 😂 This way no one will feel like they have to act civil if they dont want and eveeyone can just enjoy themselves
We are having a sweetheart table, so we can have a little bit of time just is to chat and take in the day. I would do the same if I was you. Let your parents sit on separate tables and host these to save upsetting anyone. But at the end of the day it is your wedding. Not theirs.
I had no parents on top table, I had the wedding party only. No dramas occurred!
We decided to just have the two of us at the top table, cos too many people felt “entitled” to be there lol. I found that cancelled out any drama, and those nearest and dearest were put on the closest tables to us. Maybe put your parents on separate (but equally close to you guys) tables, if that would make them feel more comfortable?
Just have a sweetheart table, with you and the groom, and then place everyone else at a decent distance away from each other. xx
I didn’t have a top table persay I had a sweetheart table with just me and my husband. Because I didn’t want a top table a mile as both my parents are separated and with other people.
I am just having me and my H2B on the top table! That way we get some time to ourselves to take in the day!
Don't have a top table have a sweetheart table that's what my husband and I did on our wedding just he and I and a perfect time to have some alone time on your special day as it gets so hectic that way you don't offend anyone and you can seat everyone with people they would be happy to sit with still have your table in pride of place obvs but just the two of you x
Yep no parents is the best way forward I think put them near on family tables so they haven’t even got to be together x
From what you've said in your post I would say to defo not have parents sat at the top table and put them on completely different tables at opposite ends of the room!! X
Just have your bridal party and give your parents a table each to "host" nearest to your table. You can keep them separate that way
We’re maybe going to have the other half and their respective families on the table next to the top table and their seat be the closest to the top table. That way, they are an extension of the top table without causing problems. You can’t put everyone on the top table!
Do what makes you happy!
We only had the wedding party at top table and the two tables facing us were our parents and siblings
We didn't have ant parents on top table because both mine and my husbands parents have remarried etc so our table would've been massive, we had my maid of honour and his best woman on a table with us that was it!
Our top table was me my husband and our 3 children. Each of our 4 parents then had a table of their own with their family and friends. It worked really well. Hope you find a way that suits you xx
I have no parents on my top table for this reason. We are doing bridesmaids and groomsmen only.
My husband's parents are separated with new spouses, we had his mum and dad on the top table sat together! And there spouses sat on different tables with other family members.
Layout was his mum, his dad, our son, me, my husband's our daughter, my dad, my mum and my maid of honour
I had best man and maid of honour on top table and parents sat elsewhere !
I think me and my partner will have a lil table of our own
I’m having my parents and my partners Mum and Step Dad
My Dad has remarried and she believes that she should be on the top table for that reason but I won’t back down,she’s sitting on another table with some other family of mine and if she doesn’t like it then tuff
As a step mum myself to 2 daughters I would be really upset if I was asked to sit on a separate table. Your mum needs to understand they are together now. It's your wedding... if you want her on it then she should be
Sweetheart table for you two and let parents and others in bridal party “host” other tables. Worked for us.
We had my partners parents on the top table with out there partners. They were out on tables with family that they know. It’s your day and your dad should understand. Xx
Both my parents and my partners parents are separated and both our dads have new partners, but neither of them will be at the top table
I had my parents on separate tables because they are divorced, dads family with him and mums with her and then on my top table, best men and partners and bridesmaids x
Our to table consisted of me and my husband, my make d of honour and her husband, my husbands best man, my son and 2 other close friends we then had a table 1 side of us with my parents and family that they’re close to and on the other side of us my husbands parents with their close family, maybe you could do something similar to keep everyone happy? We had round tables so we were very close still
You could keep the top table for just the immediate wedding party (ie you and other half, chief bridemaid oh, best man oh) and get your mum with one table. And dad with wife on another. Any friends of theirs go on those tables.
My parents have been divorced for 20 years but my dad left my mum for his now wife. I did separate tables for both sides of my family and a third for My husband's immediate family. We just had my husband, MOH, her partner, and the best man and another friend as BM was single at the top table. Everyone behaved and the those tables were at the top near ours so noone could say they were being treated differently (I'm sure they would behave but it took the worry from me). Good luck!
I'm not having any step parents on my top table and my motto is don't like it don't come 😂 xxc
We are just having parents at top table. Step parents are on different tables.
Unless your dad's new wife has no one coming that you could sit her with then I don't see why that should be a problem.
You can always say it is to keep the table even. It is traditional to put brides mum next to grooms dad and vice versa, so they don't have to sit next to each other.
Not having any parents on our top table, we are sitting with our friends and their sitting with guests their age
We just had me my husband, my two bridesmaids and the best man, seemed to work ok
I was at a wedding last year and the bride & groom had their table on the floor with everyone else so there was no top table as such. You could sit wedding party with yourselves and have your parents on different tables closest to you. Speeches and all the ususal stuff still took place.
My mum and dad split up when I was little and although it feels really difficult it's your special day so only your feelings should matter but for us I'm having me my fiance best man his mum and my mum and dad and then having another special table for my step dad, sisters and his sister xxxx
Several friends either because or divorce or in one case because both parents on one person's side where dead, just had bridesmaids and bestman/groomsmen on their top tables.
Don’t have a top table, I’m not.
My parents are separated and both with new partners
I had a big top table and had them all there
It’s your wedding, they all just need to be adult and remember it’s your wedding day, the only one you will have
We had the same situation, Both my husband's parents are re-married so we kept the top table my parents and his plus our son and maid of honour and their new partners sat with other family members close to the top table, They won't be sat apart for that long only during the speeches and meal. Worked out fine for us x
We didn’t have a top table at all to avoid splitting couples up. We wanted everyone to be comfortable x
Don't have any of them on the top table
I would put bridesmaid and grooms men on the top table and the put your parents on different tables at the front.
Have a couples table for you and your hub. Then have family group tables for everyone else! Xxx that’s what I’m doing!
Have your best man, maid of honor, bridesmaids/groomsmen! My husband's parents are divorced and both remarried so that was our solution! My parents completely understood the situation
On my top table I’m having best man, groomsman and bridesmaids
Your mum next to his dad, your dad next to his mum and the new wife on a different table with other family. Keeps your mum happy, it's only for a couple of hours and your step mum should understand.
Don’t put either on the top table. We had only the immediate wedding party on the TT
mum and dad on the top table partners elsewhere
Personally either have mum and dad or neither to keep peace. I had u shaped banquet tables and sat family together and friends together down each side so it was fair. My husband only has his mum so we had mums next to us and then best man and maid of honour either side
Hey, we had a similar situation, my parents both have new partners, they are all civil to each other but we thought our top table would end up huge if we had everyone! So we literally just had myself and my wife, her best woman and my moh... just the 4 of us and the same amount of wine as on every other table!! Winner....
Just do it as you want to, there’s no rules with weddings anymore, if you want your dad and his wife there then your mum should understand that it’s your day and let’s face it it’s only for an hour or so while you eat.
I have a similar situation. So me and my partner decided it would be just me, him and our 2 children. It saves any arguments or unwanted awkwardness x
I would put them all on the top table.
i have divorced parents and we are not having parents on the top table. i have a step dad and step mum both of whom i love dearly but i dont want to rock the boat. i will be more relaxed with just me my other half and the best man and MOH.
Why don’t you just have a sweetheart table just you and your h2b, that way no arguments of who is on the top table. And put your mum and dad on separate tables xx
If this was my parents I would tell my mum that this is my day and that my step mother had contributed to the wedding so I’m seating her there and give mum the option to have a plus one sitting with her so she doesn’t feel awkward and if she doesn’t want to sit with the step mum then I understand that but she will have to choose somewhere else to sit 🤷♀️
I think you should do exactly what makes you happy. It's your day, and even though they have helped you financially they should be mature enough to put their differences aside for you to have what you want so you don't worry. May be easier said than done, I completely understand! X
I don't have a top table to many people to have on it!
We have me my mum and dad (they are together) hubby and his mum. Hubby's dad is on a table with best man and my adult bridesmaid xx
the same at my son's wedding his father insisted that his new "girlfriend " should be up the top table .. and my son only said they've set a date small minded people
One venue we went to suggested a sweetheart table which was just the married couple, therefore removing the top table issue
We chose to have our nieces and nephews who were our bridesmaids and ushers on our top table, we didn’t put parents on there! It worked really well!
Put them on the top table sitting next to each other, one of two things will happen, 1 they will respect that it's your day and behave with dignity.
2 the entertainment starts early.
My parents are divorced. They are still great friends so I won’t be having this issue but I do feel that your parents should be at the top table and should bloody well behave with each other. If they can’t sit next to each other for two hours then they really need to take a long hard look at their lives and wtf they are playing at
My parents are divorced, similar situe, dad has a new wife but my mum doesnt bacw a partner, whoch i think makes a bit of a difference, but my husbands parents are together. I decided that top table would be just briad party, so is the groomsmen and bridesmaids and also my nephew was next to me Cos he was the only kid there. My hisbands parents sat on the table in front of us, my mum to one side and dad to the other on opposite ends of the room. It worked out because I explained that we would do this early on and why so no one was offended.
My father isnt attending my wedding nor is his dog of a wife, but if he was then he would sit with his family, not on my top table. My mum is walking me down the aisle too 😊
Have a sweetheart table where it's just you and hubby and the rest can be arranged on different tables so everyone is happy.
It's simple really, it's your day, its what you 2 want xx
I agree no parents on top table.
You should have who you want ....I don't get this whole it has to be mum and Dad. If you want her on the top table then have her. Your family should respect what you want to do on YOUR day and put a smile on their faces and get on with it.
Charlie Neave I bet you anything there isn't an equivalent ukgroom site where men stress over stuff like this...book a honeymoon, rent a suit, turn up.
My partner and I aren't having top table just us as awkward with my parents and step parents so putting them on different tables with other family members
She has no place to be there... you want traditional and have a top table you cannot let the D word become a thing at your wedding as it’s bad taste. Explain the situation but surely there are people that she could sit with who are nice?
You either go for tradition where she has no place on that table as only your parents do or you can do what many couples are doing and opt out of a top table
You could always sit your mum one end of the table and your father & step mum the other end.
I have this problem too but what we decided is to have the bridesmaids and best man on the top table and no parents - not the usual way but will keep the peace. However at the end of the day it’s your wedding day and everyone should be on their best behaviour, after all it is only 1 day.
Or as other people have said, just have your mum and dad and not their partners. Just because they have helped financially doesn’t mean they get priority on things in my opinion.
You have 1 father 1 mother - they produced you, new wife didn’t have anything to do with your upbringing, so finances isn’t a prerequisite for a position at the top table. Why should your mum pay the price cos your dad remarried and her not have chance to sit by her daughter.
Have father and mother and put the new wife near the top table near people she can chat to, it’s 2 hours of eating, don’t make an issue where there doesn’t need to be one
I can feel bun fight coming on (Excited )
️️️ we did similar to Linds. Our top table was literally my husband, myself, our 3 boys and the best man. The 3 long trestle tables with parents, grand parents and bridesmaids seated positions and everyone else sat where they wanted. Worked brilliantly well for us.
Shoot all your relatives, problem solved!!
I personally would put them both on top table but putthe new partner on a different table with space for the dad if he chooses to sit there with her xx
Just doing bridal party on mine.
Parents are divorced and I want them to sit with their partners so on their own table.
We recently went to a wedding where the only people on the top table were the bride and groom - it worked really well and they got to eat their meal and relax and enjoy their wedding ! X
I had the exact same scenario... my top table I moved my maid of honour off which meant I had best man, father of the groom, mother of bride, our daughter, groom, bride, our other daughter, father of the bride, mother of the groom, stepmum worked fine xx
If you have 3 courses you could have 3 top tables. Each set of parents on a different table and sit a different table for each course. I've seen this done before and it worked surprisingly well! Also meant the bride and groom could sit down with more guests :)