UKbride Member Request 28 Feb 2019

Family are upset at my bridesmaid choices

Just looking for some advice on how to handle a family situation. I picked my bridesmaids which where my two sisters and my two closest cousins. My family organised a dinner celebration and at that dinner i planned to do my bridesmaid proposals as well as my flower girl and page boy. Everyone in the family knew this was my plan. My uncle and his wife have a family of two daughters and a son and I asked their youngest daughter to be my flower girl (I asked their parents in advance and they were happy) I advised my uncle it may be best to bring along The flower girl to the dinner as I was doing my bridesmaid proposals. They decided to attend as a family which I was really happy about. Their other daughter was offended she wasn’t asked and made it clear to her parents she wanted to leave through the dinner. Was upset after that she wasn’t asked. Her mother voiced her annoyance at the dinner to several people that she was annoyed her daughter wasn’t asked despite knowing I was only including her youngest and I couldn’t have everyone in the wedding . I had to exclude close friends and even the grooms sister as a bridesmaid as we didn’t want a heard of people in the wedding party as we are paying for their dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, suits for groomsman and shoes as well as haircuts for the groomsman and also a suite in the venue the night before, we don’t have the expense to have more than four bridesmaids and four groomsman. My aunt and uncle are now not happy their daughter wasn’t included and are furious I asked one of my other cousins who is around the same age as their daughter. I asked her because I speak with her everyday and have a close bond and wanted her to be a part of it. I’m not as close to their daughter, not for any reason I’ve just been exposed to that side of the family more than them and it was a natural relationship. My aunt and uncle caused a massive fuss and now aren’t coming to the wedding. They have made me feel guilty that their daughter was excluded and I now feel terrible that she was so upset. What do I do?

Becky Mitchinson
Becky Mitchinson 2 Mar 2019

Stick with what and who you want you can't please everyone xx

Abigail Evans
Abigail Evans 17 Mar 2019

ive had the same issue but with mother in law dictating everything from flower girls dresses as her youngest is flower girl and also her grand daughter and its been non stop and shes had an argument with me about the fact her daughters arnt bridesmaids for their brothers wedding and how its apparently tradition for the grooms sisters to be bridesmaids, yeah shes been pretty full on the best thing to do is stick your ground and if they choose not to be there for you to support you on you day that is there fault they will be the ones that regret it down the line it happens once cant be done again xxx


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