UKbride Member Request 17 Feb 2019

Family drama

My sister seems dis interested and unhappy any time anything to do with my wedding is mentioned, if I involve her eg when I gave her will you be my bridesmaid gift, dress shopping for bridesmaids, family lunch after dress shopping. She is currently going through a divorce which I can appreciate is really tough but she has a new boyfriend ( well they’ve been together well over a year) they are looking to move in together also. I’ve tried chatting to parents but feel everyone is being too sympathetic and keeps saying it must be tough for her.... but all I want is her to seem happy for me? Am I asking to much in the circumstance?

Kat Emily
Kat Emily 17 Feb 2019

I’d ask her directly how she’s feeling about it all, maybe there’s something she’ll want to get off her chest

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Feb 2019

She might feel like she's not in the best place to be a bridesmaid b3cause she wants to be a happy for you but part of her can't because of what she's going through . And it just reminds her that her marrage didnt work but what a wedding day she had. Ask her if she actually wants to be part of your wedding or if she just feel like she has to because she's your sister .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Feb 2019

Yeah so she's getting divorced but she has a new boyfriend so I can't see what her problem is to be honest, it's not like she's lonely and reminiscing. I'd ask her directly why she doesn't seem happy for you and see what she says x

.Melanie Brice
.Melanie Brice 18 Feb 2019

Not at all she's clearly having jealousy issues and probably still wounded over her divorce. However it's nothing you couldn't speak to her about, and if she still not showing interest ask her if she would prefer not to be involved at all. Sorry but I wouldn't put up with any crap. She's ya sister and should be happy for you. Me and my partner have been brutal in our wedding plans and invites because of similar issues regarding family and now there not invited and we are going abroad because of they love us they'll be there for us and be happy, if not they can stop at home and be bitter on their own. Simple as that but their not ruining mine and my partners day.

Charlotte Brown
Charlotte Brown 18 Feb 2019

Ask her directly. Or tell her simply be excited or chose not to be involved. Fact is it’s your day. It’s not about everyone else it’s about you and your husband to be.

Christine Gordon
Christine Gordon 18 Feb 2019

Definitely not asking too much. The divorce must be taking its toll on her and it can be hard to feel happy for someone when you’re going through personal problems but she could at least try. It’s not like you’re getting married to rub it in her face, I think she needs to remember that.

Kimberley Wilson
Kimberley Wilson 18 Feb 2019

Honestly your allowed to be happy and I’m sure she is for you Hun but having being through a divorce myself she’s probably in a bit of a bad place herself, have a one to one chat with her she might need to vent, saying that it’s time she put on a brave face and started getting excited for you and your wedding, talk to your sister try and come to an understanding x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Feb 2019

Not at all sorry but she's being insensitive to your feelings, she's had a wedding and all the happy durrum to do with it so should appreciate the fact you would like the same, yes she's going through a divorce but she's obviously moved on and isn't too cut up and traumatized she's happy with a new partner and her life is moving on in the right direction. I'd just ask her outright does she want to be a bridesmaid or is that making her feel uncomfortable if so then go without and enjoy your day! Good luck and congratulations! Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Feb 2019

I don't think it hurts to be sympathetic of what she's going through

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Feb 2019

It's great that you appreciate what she must be feeling going through the divorce, sounds like she has unresolved issues there in spite of the 'new' boyfriend. If you do sit down for a chat with her go at without prejudice, don't go in all 'why can't you be happy for me?' As it will just make things worse. Go somewhere nice for a catch up not a 'we need to talk' as this will just set nerves on edge. Biggest tip: just listen, let her talk if she can, if she can't, try talking about non-wedding stuff; you might be surprised what comes up. Confrontation is not going to benefit either of you. And if she's just a drama queen you'll need to ignore it, be the bigger person. Good luck x

Bethany Hardcastle
Bethany Hardcastle 18 Feb 2019

Well on my wedding day no one not even family gave a shit no one talked or danced loads of family left really early me and my husband only had 3 drink then went home and had a Chinese our wedding day was shit but in the end it really doesn't matter what does is the fact your married and love each other and can get through anything together it's after the wedding which is most important x

Charlotte Ward
Charlotte Ward 18 Feb 2019

Almost half of all marriages end in divorce so maybe she just isnt seeing the point of "marriage" at the moment. Maybe have a chat with her and see if she wants to be involved, if not just let her be a special guest or see what role she would like to play?

Daidze D?di?a
Daidze D?di?a 18 Feb 2019

Never ask her to be happy for you. She has to be naturally.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Feb 2019

Mine didn’t come to my wedding sod em is my attitude

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 21 Feb 2019

I would maybe go out just the two of you and have a wedding free topic day, maybe she just needs a break feom all the wedding talk. Just because shes with some one new doesn't mean that your impending marriage isnt bringing back painful memories. So maybe just take a step back, go for a girly lunch and have fun. Let her know at the end that you want her to be as involved as she wants bit that you won't find offence if she doesn't/cant. Our upcoming weddings aren't as important to everyone else as they are to us x

Jessica Pearce
Jessica Pearce 26 Feb 2019

Personally I do not think you would be asking too much for her to be happy for you, however you do need to talk to her about it and let her know how her actions are making you feel.


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