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UKbride Member Request 28 Jan 2019

Help, I'm having major panic moment. The day is all planned, seating plan...

Help, I'm having major panic moment. The day is all planned, seating plan has been roughly worked out, invitations are all ready to go. But I can't shake the feeling that no-one is going to come, most of our guest list is family, and most live a fair way away. What am I going to do if people can't or don't want to come. All the plans will be wasted. I can't help but think we shouldn't have bothered. Is it just nerves or should I be really worried??

26 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

I have this issue my family are 4 hours away and my other half’s live here. A few f my family have already said they are not coming. Don’t panic you can always upgrade people to the daytime I also have a separate list as the venue has a maximum when someone declines another gets in

Christine Gordon
Christine Gordon 29 Jan 2019

I have the same thoughts, but I honestly just think that I’m marrying the man I love and who loves me back, that’s the important thing 🙂
Following for any useful advice from others.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

I'm feeling exactly the same about my day in 2 months as I have family coming from Australia

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

Research local hotels, see if any can offer any deals and send a list with the invitations

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

Different scenario but I get married Saturday, I live in Wales and I'm having major panics because of the snow they're promising through the week. I don't want people to feel obliged that they have to travel in poor conditions.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

Deep breaths

Louise Lydia
Louise Lydia 29 Jan 2019

I’m getting married 500 miles away from where I live. I have 4/5 people coming all day that live in the city I’m getting married in the rest are al over the place!
As long as you and you h2b are there (and witnesses) there’s no more you need ☺️

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

I feel your pain

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

100% recommend leaving the seating plan as late as possible. We needed to get ours to the caterers 2 weeks before the wedding. People drop out, people get added in, things change. Don’t stress about it until you get your RSVPs in, otherwise you’ll end up redoing it loads and that’s just extra stress you don’t need!

Hayley Hockley
Hayley Hockley 29 Jan 2019

I went to 6 weddings last year. 3 of which were in quite remote places and people travelled from all over to get there, those 3 weddings were family so it was the same people doing it 3 times. People love a wedding I wouldn’t worry!

Laurisa Kerr
Laurisa Kerr 29 Jan 2019

I have bad dreams every night that no one comes to the wedding and my dress shrinks and he dont turn up

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 29 Jan 2019

We did our seating plan literally 2 days before our wedding due to people saying they they weren’t gonna be able to make it etc, only one person didn’t turn up out of 67 due to personal reasons. If people really want to go they will definitely! Don’t stress over it, it’s about you & your h2b I wouldn’t worry about it.. x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

We got married in an area which was quite a drive and remote. It was a small venue so small amount of guests. The people that didn't turn up were family members or his best man! You will have people not turn up Hun, that unfortunately is the way some people are. What I will say is you are enjoying your day so much you won't necessarily notice. The people who do come and make the effort are the ones that matter X

Michelle Goldsworthy
Michelle Goldsworthy 29 Jan 2019

We thought this so we over invited and 90% are coming, oh well😊 most of our guests are travelling a minimum for 4 hours to be there, people surprise you, they did me x

Kathy Deane
Kathy Deane 29 Jan 2019

Loads didn't come to ours... those who matter did and I didn't even notice the ones who didn't.... get up and dance and don't worry about it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

I think its natural to feel like this. I was so worried no one would turn up but 60 out of 65 turned up & they came from all over the country. Include a list of local hotels in with the invites xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

I have had a similar panic, my RSVPs are due back next week and having chased people up only 9 out of 110 guests can’t come. There is a lot of travel involved for the majority of our guests. Getting married in Wales and most are London based. Plus Australian and French family. Don’t worry until the RSVPs are due and definitely don’t start seating plans until then.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

Don't worry until you've had your rsvps back, even then, if the numbers are not what you expected, just think of it as a financial saving

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jan 2019

I felt exactly the same but mainly for the cost of the day time guests, we really didn’t want to pay such a large amount for a guest to not turn up and have an empty seat. We were very lucky and every single guest turned up. On the night we had a couple drops outs for unforeseen circumstances but even had some people I hadn’t thought to invite pop in so all worked out well! Honestly stop worrying and enjoy some excitement now everything is more or less sorted and as long as you and the groom are there that’s all that matters

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Jan 2019

Hey don’t panic! We got married hours away from every single guest! 140 people showed up! Set an rsvp date and write on the invitation somewhere that people must rsvp or they don’t get dinner! Trust me you’ll still be chasing people! I set the rsvp date for 4 months before the actual wedding so I have plenty of time to rearrange and rearrange when people kept changing their minds and then asking if they can bring a friend and then changing their mind about bringing a friend etc etc..... but please don’t stress, your wedding will be fabulous because even if no one shows up, you’re getting married and it’s all about you and your partner! So congratulations and good luck! Xx

Tracy Bailey
Tracy Bailey 30 Jan 2019

Oh bless ya, I'm 4 months away from the big day and worried we're not gonna get rsvps back. Had 2 so far, but we put to send back by 1st Apr so plenty of time yet. Try not to worry, you've got enough to think about. It'll be ok, why would people not want to come? I just don't like the idea of having to chase people up if they don't respond 🙄

Gem Jennings
gemma Jennings 30 Jan 2019

I feel the same tho future down the line invites sent almost 3 weeks and about 3 replies

Caroline Larner
Caroline Larner 30 Jan 2019

All the important people will be with you on the day. It's natural to be worried but try not to panic. As soon as you start getting your RSVPs through that worry will disappear. A few people may not be able to come but just rejig your seating plan and enjoy your day. You honestly won't notice anything but your new husband on the day! 😊

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Jan 2019

Send out your invites and then do your seating plan. You don't want all of your planning to be for nothing. I had a few that couldn't make it for a number of reasons including a few on the actual day due to extreme weather conditions where they lived. You can plan meticulously for every minor detail, but the more rigid plans you make can become more of a bigger problem if things change. Don't feel like you have to get everything done months in advance. Seriously... breathe, relax and enjoy.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Jan 2019

The day is about the two of you. Appreciate the ones who make the effort to turn up, and anyone who doesn't after saying they will isn't worth the worrying about anyways. If they have rsvp'd and you have set a place for them, expect them. If they don't show, that's their loss. You will enjoy your day whichever way it turns out. Don't ever doubt yourself because of other people. Live your life for you, and the one you love.

Jessica Pearce
Jessica Pearce 31 Jan 2019

I do not think it would be a waste, you can still have your day as it is about the two of you and not who comes. Try not panic as you still need to wait for RSVPs. If you start to get them back and most cannot attend, try inviting a few more friends etc.

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