UKbride Member Request 20 Jan 2019

Evening venue possibly cancelling

I'm so tired of being knocked back, I had a phone call off the owner of our evening venue. They mauve getting bought out providing the company buying them out are accepted on their planning permissions. If this happens the venue will no longer be a function venue but a store of some description. So the owner has said "we may or may not be open the month of your event. We'll happily give you your deposit back if you wish to cancel" we've decided to start looking for another venue but this place checked all the "check boxes" we set for the venue. Then to top it off, months ago I arrange with a hairstylist for my wedding date she was happy to do it and when I suggested her taking a deposit but she declined. A week or so ago I arranged the trial and everything was fine, literally 5 days later I messaged her to ask a couple of questions about the trial and she replied "sorry I was just in the process or messaging you, I've stated a new job and unfortunately it requires me to work weekends so I'll no longer be able to do your hair." When I messaged her about the trial she did say she was changing her location but didn't say anything about changing jobs all together. I'm happy she's got a new job and doing what is best for her but surely she could have told me this whilst we were discussing setting the trial date. Everyone has told me everything will be fine on the day and I should be happy about just getting married but I'm hurt and frustrated and I just want to know that I'm not in the wrong of feeling how I fell. That it's justified.

Christine Gordon
Christine Gordon 21 Jan 2019

First of all you have a right to feel what you’re feeling. Don’t be ashamed and don’t apologise for it.
As for the venue it looks like you might have to find somewhere else, yes it won’t be the exact venue, but unless you’re willing to postpone your wedding then I’d definitely look elsewhere that’s within your budget.
The hairdresser should have mentioned even if she was looking for another job or to relocate before you got our hopes up. She should have forewarned you. By the looks of things that why she didn’t want to take a deposit from you, since she knew there was the possibility of getting a new job that would prevent her doing your hair for your wedding.
Again, it’s totally okay to feel what you’re feeling, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. They’ve either never been engaged and planning a wedding or it’s been that long they don’t remember what it was like.
Yeah on the day you’ll probably not notice these things as much, and when you’re older you’ll still look back at the best day of your life because you married the person you love the most in the world. But that doesn’t invalidate what you’re going through right now.
I hope everything works out for you 💖

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Jan 2019

To me its signs that it wasn't the perfect place and she def wasn't the one to make u feel special. X Feel how u are feeling and make it more of a drive to look for other places and specialists.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Jan 2019

You have a right to feel the way you do and it is to e expected given planning a wedding is one of the most stressful life experiences. The venue and the hairdresser have not provided you great experience here....


At least it's happened now not on the day. Some things are meant to test us and It clearly wasn't meant to be.

Take a deep breathe and striaghten your crown. You can do this and you will find your happily ever after.

Have an amazing wedding day and enjoy every second.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Jan 2019

Oh bless you.... I'd feel the same, so you're not wrong to feel like this!!!! You know when you've found the one (husband), the dress, the venue etc, end of day you want your day to be perfect for you and your family.... I'm sure you'll find another fabulous venue, but yes I'd be upset in your situation..... however try enjoy every minute, it's so magical and exciting..... we get married November 2020 and loving the planning xxxxxxxxxxx

Jan Hirst
Jan Hirst 22 Jan 2019

I can understand why you feel as you do. We have had a few major hiccups during the beginning of planning to the point where I was saying to H2b that maybe we weren't supposed to get married (not that we shouldn't be together just that fate seemed to be throwing obstacles in the way of the wedding) . Everything is on track now though and looking forward to a wonderful day in August.

Meghan McCrimmon
Meghan McCrimmon 22 Jan 2019

You will be ok. You’ll find an even better venue and an even better stylist. You got this.

Louise Newson
Louise Newson 22 Jan 2019

I would be fuming! The lady that was meant to be doing the flowers for the church cancelled on me last week. Just sent me a very casual message saying she couldn't do it. I asked if one of her colleagues could step in and she said she would ask bit she didn't think so. No apology just a very casual can't do it now. The reason we asked her is cos she was right for our very tight budget, looks like we will have to do it ourselves now the night before or morning of the wedding! Just what you want right! It's so frustrating so I'm with you, I completely get where your coming from. I would say from now on insist on putting a deposit down and get something in writing where possible.... makes it harder for people to let you down! Good luck. Hope it all goes well.xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Jan 2019

Whats the date of your wedding and Where are you based im a hair stylist! X

Caroline Larner
Caroline Larner 22 Jan 2019

I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason. This wasn't your venue and she wasn't your hairstylist - you will find better versions which are more suited to you and on the day everything will go without a hitch.

In saying that, you have every right to be peeved. It's very naughty of the hairstylist to take the money for the trial when it seems clears she knew she couldn't do the day. The venue are being too vague so I would get your deposit back whilst you can and look for somewhere else. You must have seen other venues and had a second favourite so try for that and remember the the venue is what you make it - all your little touches will make it perfect for you and your fiance.

Finally, I know it all seems overwhelming now but believe me on the day you won't care a jot as you'll be floating on Cloud 9 with your lovely new husband and all this will seem a distant dream!

Good luck :-)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Jan 2019

Completely understandable that it’s stressed you out, but everything happens for a reason! Hairstylist should be easy enough to find and as for a venue that’s rough but there are loads of beautiful places to get married, instead of being upset and angry about what you’ve lost, refocus and get excited about finding a new even better venue! If you haven’t already splash out on wedding insurance, luckily for you in this instance they’ve offered to return your deposit but if something bad happens closer to the date and they can’t refund you etc it’s best to have insurance to fall back on.
Wishing you all the best moving forward from here, remember to relax and enjoy it! This is your wedding, how exciting is that!! Xx

Jessica Bateman
Jessica Bateman 22 Jan 2019

I know how your felling, my make up artist has now said she can’t do my make up! So I though I do my make up everyday il just do it myself!!! Try not to stress everything will come together for you.

Jessica Pearce
Jessica Pearce 25 Jan 2019

I think your feelings are justified! I know it is hard, but I am strong believer that because of these situations, it was not meant to be, but do not let that take away from how you are feeling as I wold be the exact same and very disappointed. i wish you the best and I am sure your venue and hair stylist will be even better than those originally you were going for.

Becky Mitchinson
Becky Mitchinson 25 Jan 2019

you have every right to feel this way planning a wedding is not easy and all though the main part of the day is marrying the love of your lie everything else you choose is for a reason there for if you cant have that for whatever reason it is upsetting and a big stress xx


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