So I got engaged on Christmas Day. We are planning on having a small wedding in either 2020 or 2021. I have been trying to plan things me and my partner would like but I feel his parents are taking over. They are looking at halls and trying to book them before I’ve even seen them myself. Obviously I appreciate the help, but I want to see where things would be taking place before anything is finalised! My partner had tried talking to them but they don’t listen to him. How do I ask them to back off slightly without seeming like a right cow?
Why don’t you say to them that you and your h2b are going to look at some places, as you need to see the one that you can visualise yourselves getting married at. Remember it’s YOURS AND H2B DAY and not his parents day. Yes they can help with things but that’s it help not take over. But be nice about it dont forget you will be related to them soon.
Are they helping to pay for the wedding? If so then they should be slightly involved.. As for venue etc, they shouldn't be involved in that. If you've already tried to have a polite word then may be it's a case on being a bit more forceful. It might offend to begin with but they'll understand.
That's a pain! Try speaking to them and respectfully saying that you are really excited for yours and your h2b day,and you're looking forward to planning it together. If you mention that you feel they're planning it, more than you..then hopefully they will back off! It's lovely that they are excited and involved but sometimes it can be a little much! My MIL bought us all of our centrepieces after I made a passing comment that I liked the look of something.. (luckily I love them so it worked out) once the excitement wore off, she was less involved... good luck! Xx
I disagree, if they are helping to pay for the wedding it’s because they love the couple and want to support them with the biggest day of their lives, giving money shouldn’t mean they get to make the decisions. My best advice would be just to explain that you are really excited about planning your own wedding and want to take some time to check out venues yourselves so you can picture your big day.
Remember it’s your day and no one else’s, and you are doing this to be married to the love of your life, everyone else needs to respect that.
I just opted for the bitch approach and said I appreciate the help but its our day and we will make the decisions. I always tag on the end if you dont like it you dont have to come just for extra effect.
But myself and my partner are paying for our wedding and if were spending our money on it then its what we want.
I'd be tempted to carry on as you are and book the place you like when you are ready. They've been asked to back off so it's their own fault if they have to go through the embarrassment of cancelling it
Why not give them another job such as flowers, centre pieces, little decorations for the venue. Hopefully it will take their mind off the things you and your fiance need to be doing yourselves. Good luck xx
I think the best thing to do is just sit with them go through it all and say that it is your weeding day and its how you would like but all suggestions are welcome but that at the end of the day it is going to be your choice hun and also remember they are excited and prob see it as they are helping not interfering.
I have just yesterday told my family we are doing our wedding the way we want too and not had any bad feed back as they are all happy that we are getting married. Best of luck with the out come.
Your day you decisions your wedding your life..... Get them told how it is straight away so to avoid anything like this happening again. You have to be strong and sometimes brutal in these situations. Have a talk with the hubby to be and do it together. Strength in numbers!!! and try to be nice but straight to the point so theres no miscommunication.
Tell them the places you are considering and they can come with you to see them if they want, try to involve them, maybe thats all they want, but it's your decision at the end of the day!
How can they book a hall if u haven't finalised a date yet lol. They are just excited but can't actually do anything without ur say so with no date set.
Tell them it’s not their wedding and if they don’t stop taking over they won’t be involved in any planning whatsoever.
It depends how strongly you care about them, if you care, maybe say we are looking at some places soon, if I book the day would you like to come to? If you really don't give a damn. Sit them both down, tell them you love them, you don't want your special day without them, but it is your day, they need to be taking the lead from you not the other way around. You won't be entertaining the idea of them booking things for you, although you are open to suggestions that is as far as it goes x I'm pretty straight forward. Everyone could put forward ideas, if I didn't like them I'd say no. You never know they might suggest somewhere that is perfect x
I would just tell them you're putting it back a couple of years to concentrate on such and such and then book it when they aren't concentrating on it 😄
I just went ahead and booked what we liked. Didn’t even ask the parents opinions!
You're not being unreasonable and I think you need to be frank with them. Just tell them it is your and your h2bs day not theirs. They have no right booking things for your big day and if they keep persisting then maybe even consider cutting them from the wedding overall. Might seem a bit extreme but this is the most important day of YOUR AND YOUR H2BS lives.
Hi they maybe just caught up in the excitement and will calm down x
Ask them to list the ones' they like & you & HB will take a look...my daughter actually booked a recommendation from her MIL, one we had not even thought of xxxx
Join UKbride for FREE today to submit your questions to hundreds of thousands of UKbride Members.