Hello I’d like some friendly advice please. When I first started...

Hello I’d like some friendly advice please. When I first started planning my wedding at the beginning of the year I was only going to have two family members as bridesmaids. I have about 5 individual good/best friends. They are pretty much my social circle who I see individually. I couldn’t afford to have them all plus if I had all of them who would be waiting for me to arrive at the church. One friend boldly asked outright if she was going to be a maid. I told her no as I didn’t want to have friends as they’re all my best friends so going to stick with just family. A month later I did a spur of the moment decision I asked one of my friends (who at the time I considered the one I was closest too) to be a bridesmaid as my family said I may regret not having a friend with me on the day. I probably should have thought it through more but that’s just me. I do before I think. Now I have two of my friends upset that I didn’t ask them. One have verbally said to me her upset the other I think is giving me the silent treatment. (With that one I haven’t actually told her I’ve chosen a friend to be a maid) In fact I haven’t told a couple of them out of fear of upsetting them (I suffer with really bad anxiety) as I have been friends longer with them longer than I have the one I’ve asked. I’ve been a complete coward about it as I really don’t want people to be upset because of me! Should I message them and explain myself or do just let them find out as and when and hope they respect my choice of not asking them! It’s making me feel super stressed and at the moment I just would rather elope!! And I wish I just did that in the first place! Sorry for the essay! I need a rant as well as advice Thanks in advance.