UKbride Member Request 22 Oct 2018

need advice! Getting married in 2020. Had a letter to say our mortgage and...

need advice! Getting married in 2020. Had a letter to say our mortgage and other monthly costs have now gone up massively. Our parents are helping where they can but due to the new costs we are going to have to reduce the budget by £5,000/£6,000. Obviously gutted as we can’t have the day of our dreams. When we got engaged I was so excited and asked my sister and 3 friends to be bridesmaids. But now We are having to cut costs i was planning to speak to 3 friends and ask them to just be guests instead. My fiancé says they should understand if they are true friends but I still feel awful about it all. Is it understandable or just harsh? Thanks in advance!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

I wouldn’t ask them to not be bridesmaids - just ask them if they’d mind paying for their own stuff due to the new circumstances and if they don’t then that’s their choice - not you telling them you don’t want them anymore xxx

Lucy Glew
Lucy Glew 23 Oct 2018

Could you maybe explain the situation to them and ask if they would mind contributing to the cost or even just buy their dress?? Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

Do a groupon wedding

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

I would explain the situation and give them the choice - pay for their own outfits or be guests for the day. Either way if they are true friends then I’m sure they would understand your predicament. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

Not really the question you asked but have you looked at price comparisons from your bills?

They could still be part of the wedding party but could pay for themselves. We thankfully had the other way round and managed to pay for most of our bridesmaids day etc but they were all happy to pay their own way for dresses, makeup etc. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

My whole wedding came to less than the amount you have to cut your budget by and i had 11 bridesmaids. There's ways around everything im sure they wouldn't mind contributing towards thier dresses hair etc x

Demi Wright
Demi Wright 23 Oct 2018

Find cheaper dresses my whole wedding is 3ish grand in total with over 100 guests and I have 5 bridesmaids ,it's more important you're marrying the person you want to be with.

Chloe Mclean
Chloe Mclean 23 Oct 2018

I think giving the the option of paying for their stuff to be a bridesmaid or to be just a guest xx just explain your circumstances and they should be considerate due to it being your big day xx

Bethany-Rose Hughes
Bethany-Rose Hughes 23 Oct 2018

Your wedding, your decisions.
If they’re upset by your decision you need to re-evaluate your friendship.
😘 but maybe suggest they buy their own dresses or look for pre loved dresses xx

Rebecca Taylor
Rebecca Taylor 23 Oct 2018

Remortgage 🤷🏻‍♀️

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 23 Oct 2018

Have a look around as you may be able to find something cheaper. Also have a chat with your bridesmaids and tell then the knew situation and tell them that you still want them to be bridesmaids but can only afford the dresses but that they'd have to pay for shoes,hair and make up. I'm sure they'd understand x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

On the mortgage front, see a financial advisor and re-mortgage onto a better deal.

Rebecca Taylor
Rebecca Taylor 23 Oct 2018

**i was actually kidding about remortgaging. But if it has gone up a lot I’d probably take a look at it anyway?
The friends will understand. They could still be bridesmaids but they buy their own dresses? Or cut costs elsewhere. X

Donna Milner
Donna Milner 23 Oct 2018

If there working explain to them your situation and ask if they mind paying for there own dress it’s two years so they have plenty of time if there true friends they will understand x

Amee Goulding
Amee Goulding 23 Oct 2018

My whole wedding is £3700 less than what you need yo reduce it by.
Make your own table decorations, ask your bridesmaids to buy there own dresses if they want to be part of your day they will be happy to like mine did. There's lots of things you can due to cut your budget like make your own invites and save the date cards. I had a preloved dress cost me £135 and it fits like a dream and is exactly what i wanted. Get flowers from whole sale place a lot cheaper

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

Ask them to buy their own dresses and shoes etc xx

Sophie Jenkins
Sophie Jenkins 23 Oct 2018

I’d ask them to pay for their own dresses and there is a great group Chinese dresses on Facebook I got my bridesmaids dresses from China for 35 pound each and they were exactly the same quality as the ones the tried on in the shop xxx

Tracey Beet
Tracey Beet 23 Oct 2018

The cost won't give you a better day than a budget wedding. Live beyond your means,cut back where you can & you will still have the day of your dreams, just less money spent ,but same result.I would keep the bridesmaids as they have already been asked but choice cheaper dresses or ask as a gift if they would help out on the cost

Amy Vigor-Green
Amy Vigor-Green 23 Oct 2018

Look into doing your own decorations and flowers. The bridesmaids could pay for their own dresses. I got my bridesmaid dresses off eBay both were a total of £80 and they were stunning! Do your own makeup or vet one of the bridesmaids to do it. Keep your simple so again you or a friend can so it.
The cost doesn't mean anything as long as you have a great day xx

Charlotte Stück
Charlotte Stück 23 Oct 2018

How has your mortgage gone up? Have you left your fixed rate and gone on their variable (sounds like it). Shop around, I’m not saying just to spend it on the wedding but why pay more for the same thing?

Abbey Lawson
Abbey Lawson 23 Oct 2018

Just let them know circumstances have changed and that you can't afford to have them as bridesmaids now and give them the option to pay for things themselves.. it's not going to take away the fact you want them as your bridesmaids because you asked them to be.. just one of things it's hard to plan for these things so far in advance xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

Can’t you ask them to if they will make a contribution to their bridesmaid outfit. I would if my friend asked me.

Katie Pearson
Katie Pearson 23 Oct 2018

As a previous bridesmaid I've been asked to buy own shoes / pay for hair / make up and more then happy to do that.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

My whole wedding was under 2000. We had 65 guests and 20 evening guests. I think that even if youre cutting your budget by 5 grand youre living above your means. I think too many people have their priorities wrong, you can still have day of your dreams but if you think that comes down to money then it comes across that youre getting married to show off and not for the right reasons.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

Speak to your mortgage lender about a product switch. Usually offered at the end of your fixed term deal. Should be able to sort it 3 months prior to the fixed term ending. Ie I'm with nationwide and mine is due end of Feb so I can start looking what's out there end of November. Otherwise yes it will revert to variable and go up quite considerably. Doing a product switch with your current provider isn't as time consuming as remortgaging with another lender. Just a click of a few buttons on the computer or a quick meeting with a mortgage adviser if you didn't know what to do and required advice but basically choose an interest rate lower than you are on or about the same. Any questions feel free to message me.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

My bridesmaids and hubbys groomsmen all paid for their own suits, dresses and shoes as there was no way we could afford to. They were all happy with this and went ahead. What I did do though was I chose flower girls dresses when there was a 20% sale off at debenhams and got my adult bridesmaid dresses from Amazon for £35 quid each! The flower girls shoes were in the sale at Tesco, adult shoes in the sale at debenhams - this way nobody had to pay out an absolute fortune! I made my own favours with organza bags off Amazon (50 for £3) and got boxes of Thorntons chocolates from an outlet store on a multi buy offer. I entered a TON of competitions and won £150 off a photo booth package. Rather than getting the place cards to match my table numbers which would have been around £50, I got a very close match online, for £12! If you are prepared to put the time in, for shopping around online and finding the best value for money options, you can still have the day of your dreams!

Karen Howie
Karen Howie 23 Oct 2018

My whole wedding came to less than what you've reduced your budget by. I made all my own floral arrangements, decor. Veil, dress, garter etc all for a very good price. Ring wasn't overly expensive & bought cheap invites & made them prettier myself. It's 100% about the day not how much you spend!

Allison Craig
Allison Craig 23 Oct 2018

I am also getting married in 2020. I am currently a student so money isn’t always easy to come by but we have managed to book the venue of our dreams!! Also found some amazing suppliers!! Shop around you can find some amazing deals. I am also just having two bridesmaids. My best friends didn’t say a word when they weren’t asked! I don’t even have room to invite them during the day so they are evening only guests. Also couldn’t care less. True friends will always be happy for you!! Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Oct 2018

I got all 3 of my bridesmaids dresses for £107 they are doing there own hair and make up with some nice shoes and accessories from primark. Your wedding doesn’t have to be extortionate. Don’t believe they have to be.

Clare Mayfield
Clare Mayfield 23 Oct 2018

Ask the bridesmaids to pay for their dresses...they wouldn't mind if it was helping you out x

Bronwyn Spencer
Bronwyn Spencer 23 Oct 2018

Our wedding is coming in at £4000, with a contribution of a combined £2300 from parents. My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, and the groom's men are paying for their suits. We are putting a contribution towards them but not the whole cost. There are ways of going around it to make it cheaper but still seem expensive x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Oct 2018

They should understand but I think you should maybe see if they would be able to pay for their own stuff and find dresses on ebay or something I had dresses from ebay and they looked amazing and where only £27 each and found shoes in the sales for £5 each, that way its not a massive cost if they can manage it. Xxx


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