Okay, so my H2B doesn't get along with his dad. He doesn't want his dads surname anymore and wants to take my name when we get married. Has anyone else done this? I'm the only one with my exact surname (my parents were never married so I have a double barreled surname and am an only child) I'm worried about coming across as a control freak with him taking my name, or even little things like getting personalised gifts with the wrong surname on! What do we do?!
Announce it as *insert name here* wedding and make sure your wedding party are aware. Trust me it will spread :) as for what people think, don't worry. I'm taking my husbands name and people keep saying it's a controlling old tradition. Nope it's just what we want x
Put it at the end of your invites..'we can't wait to see you for our day when we will become Mr and Mrs....'
I would speak to your registrar or the church depending on where you are getting married.
As for the gifts I would word your invitations so that guests know whose name is going to be used e.g.. mr & Mrs...??.. 2 be wish to invite etc. As for other opinions...it's not their decision it's you and your h2b!.
You could both change your name to something you both agree on if you don't want to take yours. Xxx
Do what works for you if you are happy to keep your name then go for it I’m sure your family will love it as your an only child
I'm taking my fianceès name. From the onset we have called it the McGuire wedding (McGuire being her name obviously) and if people mention my surname I make a point that it won't be my surname for much longer. I haven't come across any negative feedback or comments on it. Most people think it's cool.
For the legal side of it, I have just googled this and it says if the groom wishes to take your maiden name this is ok but he will need to do it officially by deed poll to be able change it on official documents like passports etc. I would give the local registry office a call as well to confirm this and have a little look on the government website. I hope this helps.
Do what makes you both happy. If he wants to take your name then let him - it's his choice and has no reflection on you, why would it?! Would you feel this way if it was the other way round? Probably not as that is seen as 'normal' (even though the basis of a woman taking a man's name is steeped in sexism as she was merely a possession to be passed on from Father to husband!) Simply because it's not traditional it doesn't mean it's wrong and from what my registrar told me then this is becoming more and more common so your partner is certainly not alone!
Who says you have to take his name! It’s 2018 and you can choose! It doesn’t make you a control freak it is a decision you and your h2b have made together, which is what marriage is all about! I’m marrying a girl, and I’m taking her name because we personally preferred it to double barrelling our names (it would have been a mouthful!) no one thinks she is a control freak!
As others have said just put on the invites what your names will be so any personalisation will be correct!
Best of luck with it all xx
Nothing wrong with it at all; i know a couple have done the same. It's nobody's business anyway why the name is chosen.
You'll be family by the end and that's all that matters.
We are Mr and Mrs Luck, which was my original last name 🙂
Oh and we didn’t need to change it by deed poll, everywhere just accepted it - modern life i guess!
I was Stück and him James, as you can see we both hyphened. We told everyone the name we intended, put it on Facebook and still got loads of things with Mr and Mrs James on. Just one of those things xx
Ive had 2 friends both change too theirs new wifes name... theres no wrong or right hun... u both do what you think best xx
My husband took my name. You do you :)
My friend was very close to her father who passed away before the wedding and her husband originally had his stepfather’s surname whom he never got along with so he took her name. It was easy to do, he just provided his marriage certificate and said he was going by his wife’s surname (where required).
All that matters is that bride and groom are doing what they wish. Any guest should be honoured to share it day with u. No one's thoughts or opinions count. Be happy and good luck xx
My husband and I didn't change either of our names. We both have our original names. We had been together for 11 yrs when we got married and our older children had my surname and our youngest my husbands. It worked for us, we spoke to the kids who wanted to keep their names so we stayed as we were. Who cares what people think, do what's right for the two of you as a couple x
I'm getting married next yr and my h2be is taking my name. Hes getting it changed by deed poll through solicitor.It's his choice. Do what you feel right as a couple. Xx
I think that sounds awesome 🙂
It's a deed poll change, marriage is only a legal name change for women. It's really simple, you can do it online
We are double-barrelling his last name with the name my family have, as I am the odd one out! It will mean some paperwork after the wedding but no one will think it’s strange or that you are a control freak. We have made our new last name very clear on the invites in the hopes of avoiding any mix ups congratulations x
My best friend and her husband both took her mum's name and in their invites the put a little card that said their new name.
I think this is a lovely idea! As for personalised gifts why not use your invite to get across the surname?
You are invited to the wedding of John Smith and Jane Doe as they become Mr and Mrs Doe.
(Or something like that?)
He can change his surname to his mums maiden name if he wishes by deed poll.
See Christoph Majewski 's post below/above (not sure how this will display) .... I'm the lucky lady that gets to marry Christoph and no one has ever thought that I'm a control freak or that he's under the thumb or anything like that, most people are pleasantly surprised and think it's awesome and very cool of Christoph. In fact his cousin and best friend in Germany did the same thing. Each had their own reasons, but once you start telling people that you are doing it, you hear a lot of people who have done it. Go for it and don't worry about it.
We get married in 2020 and he is taking my name as we don't get on with his family (none will be attending the wedding) and our children have my last name too so it seems the logical thing to do. I would put something like someone suggested about "cant wait to see you on the day we become mr and mrs..." xx
People will judge you anyway! Do what you and your fiancé want! Or he can take that name, own it and make it into something he can be proud of! Your name doesn't define you and neither does your family. Xx
Honestly it really doesn’t matter, you can literally change your name to absolutely anything you want. See friends “princess Consuelo banana hammock” and “crap bag”. It’s literally an old sexist traditional thing as the man would be taking ownership of a woman it’s from the arranged marriages times where women’s parents decided who she was marrying, so she’d have to take his surname because she belonged to him. New times go be mr crap bag !
I'm a lucky lady whose husband took her name. When it was originally discussed there was mainly positive attitudes towards it but a couple of people where negative towards it. We decided not to announce it and when we were introduced as a couple it was the new Mr and Mrs. We signed our thank you cards with our name and no one has questioned it. We sent off for a new passport with the marriage certificate and his name was changed. I think it's lovely that he wants your last name. Good luck.
We double barrelled
I was Stewart, he was Hammond we are now both Stewart-Hammond, best that he changes his name before the wedding though, it’s a little easier x
My friend and her now husband both took an entirely new surname on..... You do what you want to do as a couple and sod what anyone else does/thinks!