Hannah Cregan
Hannah Cregan 4 Jul 2018

Hi everyone I'm in a bit of a situation that i don't want to be in. Me...

Hi everyone I'm in a bit of a situation that i don't want to be in. Me and my sister have never got on and when it comes to choosing a maid of honour I want my best friend of 20 years. My sister also refuses to be a bridesmaid! Even though we don't get on i think i would regret not involving her. Has anyone had 2 maids of honours? And what would you do in this situation? Thanks! Xx

Sarah Pollard
Sarah Pollard 5 Jul 2018

I had 2 maids of honour , 3 bridesmaids & 2 flower girls & 2 confetti girls ....
It's your wedding , so feel relaxed to create jobs so everyone feels included in some shape or another ....if money is tight hopefully true friends will understand as we are not made of money and don't wish to go into debt ......
They can read a poem or sing a beautiful song ,
There's no right or wrong way to do your wedding .....
It's your special day xx

Suzanne Hunton
Suzanne Hunton 5 Jul 2018

I can't imagine anything remotely stressful about making someone you don't get on with, and who doesn't want to participate, be an unwilling member of your wedding party 😐 What is it you think you'll regret??

Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
Siobhan Knight-Potgieter 5 Jul 2018

If your sister is going to refuse a bridesmaid position I would say she isn’t deserving of a maid of honour position.

Let her be her as just from that attitude think about the stress she could potentially cause.

If she or anyone kicks off say I asked her to be bridesmaid and she refused because she didn’t feel that was good enough but it’s not about her it’s about me and my future Mr or Mrs.

Kathy Deane
Kathy Deane 5 Jul 2018

You'll be more stressed having her as a MoH if you have never got on as she won't have your back or help with what you want or need. I would just let her get on with it and not be involved. Ask her to do a reading if you think that would be more fitting but you need a bride squad you can rely on x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

Having someone you don't get along with in your wedding party - sister or not - is a recipe for disaster. She doesn't want to be in your party anyway,from the sounds of it (or is that she wants to be MOH)?Of course,there's no law saying you can't have 2 MOH but this page is filled with stories from brides with difficult bridesmaids,and this problem is always compounded when someone has felt obligated to include someone because they're blood,despite not actually getting along. My advice would be to not have her involved so closely,and maybe look at alternative ways she can be involved

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

As long as you invite her to be a bridesmaid, you are doing your part. If she refuses, it's on her. You don't have to ask her to be your maid of honour just to please her.

vicki taylor
vicki taylor 5 Jul 2018

Do you have children? Does your sister have children? I’ve got my eldest daughter as my maid of honour and my nieces and nephews as bridesmaids page boy and usher. If you have nieces and nephews say you are having your best friend and your nieces nephews as bridal party.

Laura Roberts
Laura Roberts 5 Jul 2018

I wouldn't have her as my maid of honour, and if she's refusing to be a bridesmaid then just leave it at that. You've asked her to be a part of your wedding and she's refused so that's her choice.

Catriona White
Catriona White 5 Jul 2018

Personally I think that’s emotional blackmail if she refuses to participate unless she is MOH and I wouldn’t allow it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

Against my better judgment I asked my sister to be bridesmaid (always had sketchy relationship, but all other siblings were involved) then 4 months before wedding she pulls out after an argument with our mother. Was left with a dress I couldn’t return, and she didn’t even come to the wedding.
Personally if she has said no to bridesmaid I’d ask if maybe she wanted to do a reading?

Bonnie Ramsey
Bonnie Ramsey 5 Jul 2018

I don’t get along with my sister we never have but my niece is the flower girl at my wedding. My sister isn’t involved at all with the wedding she’s just coming as a guest.

Sara Hughes
Sara Hughes 5 Jul 2018

Have a maid of honour and a chief bridesmaid if your sister is still not happy with that then personally I would just keep her as a guest as its your day and she is being unreasonable. Hope you have a lovely day!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

I'd pick your friend.... I picked my sister thinking it would be amazing, we went to one dress shop, then nothing.... asked her to help my into my dress before the wedding.... said she would plan a hen thing, didn't, finally said she wouldn't be going to the evening, I told her not to come at all, I had no maid of honour.... no one to fit my dress properly, it truly sucked. Go with the one you want to be there. She will be there or she won't, it's your day, don't let her dictate x

Michelle Rew
Michelle Rew 5 Jul 2018

Pick your friend. No obligations just because of blood, it's the relationships we (all) build that matter most x

Nicole Gomer
Nicole Gomer 5 Jul 2018

Don’t do it!

Gwyneth Bland
Gwyneth Bland 5 Jul 2018

If like me, my Sister has cut me off in the recent years (more so when dad died last year), so I've chosen my daughter & little granddaughter as bridesmaids & old school friend as Maid of Honour/Bridesmaid. My Sister never came to any social events when invited in the past ,so I knew I would be wasting my time.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

Personally if you dont get on sister or not i wouldnt ask her, i have a feeling that you might well end up having more problems with her being in the wedding party rather than just a guest.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

My daughter got married December last year & had 2 maids. Her bestie & her sister. Both able to tell if she was getting ott. If you want 2 maids go for it. If sister awkward ask her to be bridesmaid, if she says no, it's her choice. Whose going to be best at sorting you out on the day? Good luck & have a fantastic day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

I am having two maid of honours. No bridesmaids. There are no rules, have what you want.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

I dont get on with my sister and never have so im not inviting her to my wedding. Sure it will cause a few grumps with in the family but I dint want my day ruined.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Jul 2018

You could start out saying you're only having bridesmaids and no maid of honour. Then see who rises to the occasion. If one does step up into the role and really help you out, you can then add the title nearer the day and the evidence/actions will be hard to dispute.

Rhian Priest-Dibben
Rhian Priest-Dibben 6 Jul 2018

Perhaps get her to be a witness rather than pushing something that doesn't need to be done. If she doesnt want to be part of the bridal party and you dont get on, you do not have to have family atall in your bridal party.

Jo Clayton
Jo Clayton 8 Jul 2018

You can have whatever you want!

Kelsey Todd
Kelsey Todd 16 Jul 2018

Personally I think you've done your part by asking her to be bridesmaid and it's her issue if she refuses. In regards to having two maid of honours though - that's what I'm doing :) my little sister wanted the position but she is no help at all, just because she doesn't know and can't be bothered to do the research, so I have my best friend as made of honour no 2! :) They're both happy and I'm not stressing haha x


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