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UKbride Member Request 24 Jun 2018

I’m confused on what to do my partner and I are getting married in June...

I’m confused on what to do my partner and I are getting married in June 2020 but not sure where to get married as our family’s are 50 miles either side of us if we get married where we live now some of our family’s won’t come and will want buses put on so trying to please both sides but so hard to do question is do we just do what we want or try to please everyone I’m really close to my family partner not so much

38 Comments
Jodee Francis
Jodee Francis 24 Jun 2018

I'm getting married in June 2020 too.

Personally I habe chosen to please myself rather than others, as long as you can stand your ground and not get offended or upset by peoples decisions. It also seems to me that this happens regardless of what you do which is another reason why I'm doing what i want ! Let us know what you decide x

Natalie Ridsdale
Natalie Ridsdale 24 Jun 2018

Do what you and your partner want. We have family in Ireland, south Africa and various locations across the UK. If people want to be there they will be no matter where you have your wedding. If they have plenty of notice they have time to arrange things too. We get married July 2019 and have sent save the dates to let people know. Remember it's about you and your partner. Hope things go how you want x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

its your day, you must do what works for you not your guests. if they love you and wnat to be there then they will travel to wherever you wish, those that dont were not worth the invitation in the first place.

Amy Eager
Amy Eager 26 Jun 2018

Do what you want. My philosophy is, if people want to be there they will! Ours is on a Thursday and just over an hour away from us. If people don't want to travel or get the time off work.. I don't want to pay £100pp for them to have a meal!

Heather Perry
Heather Perry 26 Jun 2018

My family is 3 hours and his family is hour and a half. If they want to come, theyll get here. If they dont want to come ill be marrying the love of life with a few witnesses, the important people will be there x

Rhian Priest-Dibben
Rhian Priest-Dibben 26 Jun 2018

Some of my family is 3/4 hours away, some 45 mins away, I am getting married, around 1.5 hours from the closest and 3 hours away from the others. Somewhere slightly to benefit the ones coming from a far

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

I agree, do what you want or you will regret not making your own choices for your own reasons. We're getting married in a central location, some will need to travel more and some will need to travel less. We've been pleasantly surprised at how well people adapted, booking their accommodation and coming up a night earlier etc.

Katie Lou Allaway
Katie Lou Allaway 26 Jun 2018

Its your day, you do what you want to do, you will never please everyone and if they love you etc they will respect that, im getting married in April next year and i was worrying about that sort of thing, but i have found that i did not have to worry about that at all. Think about what it is you want to make your day special cause hopefully you will only get married once so make it the best ever, congratulations and all the best for the future x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

Do what you want, 50 miles isn't that far in the grand scheme of things. I'd say around half our guests are coming at least that far. And I've been to weddings where the majority of guests have come much further

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

Do what makes you happy. If family/friends really want to come and celebrate your day then they will travel. I am getting married this summer and all our family and friends live 90 miles away, however with plenty of notice all that have been invited have said they are coming. Hope you have a lovely day xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

My opinion would be "if your families want to see you get married they will travel" make sure there are some hotels close to the reception venue and let them know with plenty of notice so they wont have chance to plan anything else!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

get married at whatever venue you want! if your guests want to be there they will be there! 50 miles is nothing and im pretty certain that they would be able to travel for 60 minutes to get there! 60 minutes is nothing to travel for a wedding and at the end of the day its what works best for you!

Laura Bardon
Laura Bardon 26 Jun 2018

Choose a venue you love and decide between you and your other half.

People who want to come will come and will try their hardest to be there. It's plenty of notice.

Those who can't be bothered to come are not the family / friends you want at your wedding.

And one upside the less people who come the less mouths you have to feed.

I've decided to invite the majority of my family, and if they don't want to come that's their problem not mine

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

We personally don't have that issue but my uncle lives in America and he and his son travelled to the UK for my other uncle's wedding so I'm sure your family will make the effort if they really want to be there. When you send your invites, give them a list of hotels and B&Bs in the area so they can make arrangements.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

I would say you should get married where you want. If you can't please everyone why stress yourself out trying. My family live down south and I live in Lancashire, did consider getting married down south but decided to do it locally to me as it's easier when planning - I can go to look at reception venues and speak face to face with caterers/ florists etc, also for things like my hair and makeup it is a lot easier as I can get trials done to make sure it looks as I want it. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

My mum lives 120 miles away & is still comin 2 my wedding next week. She's making her own way there aswell

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

My parents and 2 brothers live the other side of the country, my partner's dad and step mum live in Portugal lol we're having it local to us as we loved the first place we viewed

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

It's two years away which gives plenty of time for the people who want to be there to make a plan. I had guests travel to Oxfordshire from Scotland - if they want to, they'll make the effort.
It's your day, you are the only two people who you need to please

Sharon  Fowles
Sharon Fowles 26 Jun 2018

Do what suits you... I have relatives that live 10 mins up road that arent coming... But my future sister & brother in law are bringing they family from Abu Dhabi, so if they want to be there, nothing will stop them...

Hayley Parsons
Hayley Parsons 26 Jun 2018

I'm getting married Aug 2019. My partner is from Scotland and we will be having a lot of family and friends travelling over 400 miles to our Somerset wedding venue. IMO its not your job to provide transport, its your job to invite. If they can't make arrangements themselves then they don't care enough about you or your wedding to be there - not your problem!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

I have such a variety of distances from my venue, it’s an hour from where majority live, 3 hours from my mum, but then we also have people coming from Ireland, Australia and New Zealand! When we hand out the invites we’re providing a list of local hotels/b&bs etc for those that it is a bit too far but they have the option to stay if they want!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

Two of my best friends picked hotels miles away from their home towns and we all paid to stay at the hotel about £100 - £120 a night but they had the hotels to themselves and we all had breakfast together in the morning included in the room price it was lovely and worth every penny if people love you and want to be at your wedding they will be there just get married where you want to

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

50 miles really isn’t that far, pick the place you want to get married and if they want to be there they’ll make the arrangements.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

One thing I've learnt from planning my wedding. You can't please everyone! Please please do what makes you happy. There's plenty of time for people to organise travel or a hotel! I have someone coming from holland to mine!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

We're getting married in the middle

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

Do what you and your partner want to do. After all it's your wedding. Any one that cares for you will be there for you.

Gemma H'ins
Gemma H'ins 26 Jun 2018

I'm getting married 6 hours from mine, family will just have to come or miss out. It's their responsibility to get themselves there if they really want to go.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

We have gone for our village church and a local-ish (40 mins away) hotel reception. Were in Oxfordshire and have family in Ireland, Somerset, Dorset and London. We took the stance that if they matter, they will come. If they don't come, they probably don't matter. Most people are coming. The only thing that would have maybe swayed us to plan differently would have been if we had loved ones not able to travel far due to ill-health.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

Don't try to please both sides. Do you what you want to do, it's YOUR day as a couple and if they don't wanna make the journey it's their loss.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

Where are you based?

Tiffany Carlile
Tiffany Carlile 26 Jun 2018

You find the venue you like. If they want to be there, they will make the effort to get their own transport.
You’re giving them a beautiful day out - all for free and to see you get married. The least they can do is make their own bloody way there!

My partners family is all over in Ireland. And mine around 80miles away from where we live. Brother over in Wales, sister a bit further up north-east. So where are we getting married? Where we live.
Most of my family and friends will be able to make it as they want to be there. Even his family members who we really want there have said they’ll fly over for the few days - they will need flights, transport (or the ferry and their own cars) and hotels yet they’re happy to do that. Because they want to see him get married.
There are some that won’t be able to make it and those who won’t want to come over (Ireland/British thing which I still shake my head at...I didn’t do anything! Come and see me get married!!!) so we are going over for an engagement party in July and will probably have a little thing next year before we get married for those who can’t make it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

My husband and I love in York. I'm from Lincoln. He's from York. His family from the border with Lancashire. My family everywhere from London to Glasgow and out to Spain. Our friends from Wales to England. We chose church in my family home and hotel 30 mins away from it. People who mattered, and who cared, made the effort and travelled. We chose our venues for us and no-one else. Good luck x

Enid Eggleton
Enid Eggleton 26 Jun 2018

My family live in Norway and we live in Scotland. We are getting married in Scotland knowing that all of my family can’t come. My parents and siblings are coming anyone else who makes it across is just a bonus. You have to do what is right for you - people who want to come will manage 50 miles.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

We have family in Cornwall, Buxton, Wales as well as others dotted around. We Live near Wolverhampton so are planning the wedding there. Everyone we want there, will be invited and if they can't make it, that is up to them. Your wedding is about what is best for you not your families.

Caddy vollands
Caddy vollands 26 Jun 2018

Getting married where ever you like.. we had friends / relatives who travelled from Qatar, Germany, London Yorkshire,Lancashire to be there... if they really want to come they will come.. I wouldn't stress about it.. it's your day x Good luck x ❤

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jun 2018

I have family travelling 700miles to be at my wedding...if they have enough time to arrange transport/time off work etc there shouldn’t be a prob.we haven’t put on no busses or transport and were told by our guests that if they chose to go then they would be happy to pay their way..you have enough expense with your wedding without that added to it.you should do your wedding for you..not for anyone else. enjoy your day your way xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jun 2018

Do what u both want it's ur special day .families have to compromise. If they want to be with u on your special day they will xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jun 2018

You will never please everyone so do what u want.find a venue u both like.give everyone plenty of notice about the wedding then they can decide if they want to attend.if they are real friends they Wil, turn up no matter how far it is.my daughter and hubby went from Manchester to Bristol for a wedding.with a two yr old.his sister.had great time.x

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