Advice needed. We have both been married before, are in our 50s. We have our own place and everything we need. I don't want to come across as being rude but how do we go about asking people to donate money, if they want, instead of gifts. Money would really help us out. Is there a card or something we could post. We haven't done invites just called people personally to save on postage and printing.
Hi when people ask what you would like tell them you would like money as you want to buy something maybe new fireplace or something :)
If you wanted money for honeymoon you could ask for travel vouchers. x
I found this which I thought was nice and not too pushy, could amend wording slightly. More than just kisses so far we have shared, our home has been made with love and with care.
Most things we need we've already got, and in our small home we now can't fit a lot.
Our next wish once husband and wife, is to buy a house and enjoy married life.
We can't wait to see you on our wedding day, to enjoy all the special moments and party away!
But please, only IF you wish to participate, a donation of money would be ever so great.
And when we are sat in our home so new, we can look back and say it was all thanks to you.
With love, the soon to be Mr & Mrs.
Myself and my H2B are in exactly same position and after talking to some guests quite a lot were struggling for gift ideas as we already have out own home , I found these on e bay and am popping one in each invitation x
Say your that short on money you had to ring people instead of sending invites
We did this
For a couple of years we have lived in sin,
We have a toaster, kettle & a stainless steel bin.
Saucepans & towels we have many,
Corkscrews & flannels we don’t need any,
We just want you with us on our special day.
But if you insist on a gift,
What we’d really like is a gift of money
To send us on our way to somewhere hot & sunny!
My friends wrote a little poem about them having all their pots and pans so instead help them fly to a faraway land or something along those lines. Which I will be doing aswell. We're young but we've lived together for years so have all we need. It's the honeymoon we want more :)
Put it in with the invites
We put a poem in our invites saying that we didn't want any presents as we had been living together for years and if so desired people could give us money or voucher for specific places, used the vouchers for a new bed. I googled and found quite a few suitable poems.
when we were asked about presents we said gift vouchers as we had all the things needed for a home every one was happy with that some of our friends gave us money so we got our wish without upsetting anybody
Don’t use a poem they are really naff.
Personally I find it rude when people ask for money as a gift
Gift Vouchers https://www.johnlewisgiftlist.com/giftint/JSPs/GiftList/HeadersFooters/AboutUs.jsp
Personally I’d say nothing. If someone asks then by all means be honest but other than that I’m not a fan of even mentioning gifts.
Have a look online there's lots of lovely poems which help it come across in a fun and polite way that you don't need more toasters and stuff :)
Lots of weddings we’ve been to used a nice poem... another way would be through a website like
Where you can put in different parts of your honeymoon, like a meal out, glass of fizz on the plane, room upgrade, flights etc and break it into denominations (e.g a £500 flight you might break into 10 x £50 gifts) that way people feel like they have bought you something and chose what it was used for, although it’s still gifting money for a honeymoon or whatever project/purpose you have in mind x
You could on the invites state “no boxed gifts “
Thank you everyone. There are some great ideas there
We just put in lieu of gifts we would like a contribution towards a family caravan however there’s no obligation to do this. We don’t gifts. We’ve been together for over 10 years so have everything we need and don’t want people wasting their money. We won’t be upset if people don’t give any cause not everyone can afford it which is why we’ve said there’s no obligation. The caravan isn’t just for us so will be offered to family to use too. Xx
We have just put ‘Your presence on our special day is the greatest gift we could ever have. However if you did wish to give us a gift, a contribution towards our future would be gratefully received’
We hoped that was not too rude but also clear. It’s always going to be slightly awkward asking for money, but every wedding I’ve been to in the last 6 years have asked for money so we didn’t feel too bad. 😬
We are same people keep asking us what we would like and i just say nothing as we have everything some have said family members i will put money in a card then x
It’s tradition with Italians to give money to the bride and groom at weddings also it is in some regions tradition for the bride to carry a satin purse where male guests give her envelopes of money for a dance . Being Italian I don’t consider it rude I have been to weddings where the bride has notes pinned upon her dress and she’s covered in cash I don’t understand the whole money hang up thing just coz it’s tradition to have a gift list in the uk
Keep it simple ..... Just choose a shop you like we chose John Lewis & asked for vouchers .....we were overwhelmed how many vouchers & cash we got !! ....just got married September in our 50's ..... Saved the vouchers for January sales ......returning for June summer sales ...
I wrote a little poem asking for money towards our honeymoon instead and no one thought it was rude! They were actually just happy they could give us something we wanted! 😊
(The image attached is similar to what we did) xx
On the invites say no boxed gifts