Stephanie Smith
Stephanie Smith 21 May 2018

How do I tell my partner that I'm not to happy about all the children he's...

How do I tell my partner that I'm not to happy about all the children he's inviting to the wedding? He hasn't seen these family members since before we got together in 2016 and he feels he has to invite them because he went to their weddings agessss ago. It shouldn't work like that surely. Ive tried to explain to him we should only invite people who actually make time for us and not just because you've been to their wedding. Am i wrong for saying this?

27 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 22 May 2018

Hi I agree with you I had the same talk with my H2B he saw the sense in this eventually :)

Tanya Alexander
Tanya Alexander 22 May 2018

I understand how you feel. My partner has a big I mean big Irish family . Half of them didn’t even bother coming to our sons christening. And we getting pushed to invite to our wedding . They haven’t bothered with us in the whole 2 years we been together. I understand family is family . But I think there is a limit. Inviting people just for a free piss up. We have compromised a lot. And put our foot down with MIL . Can you compromise in any way ?

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 23 May 2018

Maybe only have so many at the actual ceremony then more in the evening or you could go child free like a lot of people seem to do x

Nikita Byrne
Nikita Byrne 23 May 2018

Isn't it both of your wedding? Each of you invites half the amount of guests. That way if anybody wants to fill their half with kids that's their choice

Abbey Lawson
Abbey Lawson 23 May 2018

You invite who you want. We aren't having any children at ours.. might be different if We had our own x

Sammy Eldridge
Sammy Eldridge 23 May 2018

Had the same problem with my partner, he won’t say no to anyone. Decided to get married in Jamaica in the end. Strange how many people no longer want to come when they’ve got to pay rather than getting a free meal and a piss up 🙃

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

Just because you went to someones wedding doesnt give them a feee pass to yours. Get him to write a list of all the people he wants there. Then say you can pick say 50 from them (or half the number of guests you can budget for).
Then tell him we can only afford this amount of people so we need to choose those that are most important. The others can be in reserve should someone else nit be able to make it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

If it’s people he really wants there then yeah he should invite them it’s his wedding too. But if it’s just because he feels he has to or because he’s been to their wedding so he has to invite them then no xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

Same problem here. My partner has a big family so there are quite a few children, we agreed to have no children at the wedding .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

We’ve just split the amount of guests between us. We are choosing 30 day guests each. We are leaving it up to each other to decide who we want to invite, it isn’t up to me to choose who my partner wants to invite to the wedding from his side of the family

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

My husband's family is massive and we invited everyone, very few came of the ones he didn't see regularly but we had invited them so everyone was happy. Send your invites early and you may find they don't want to come then you can invite whomever you like!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

A member uploaded image

Clare Jane
Clare Jane 23 May 2018

How would you feel if he didn't want you to invite someone. If you would be happy with it then just go ahead and be honest and tell him. If it would upset you maybe let him invite who he wants to as well

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

We're having the same issue. I've employed a lady called marriage Poppins to come watch all the children and play games to keep them distracted. But not all the guests are keen. But it's our wedding. Xxx

Cecilia Lake-Benson
Cecilia Lake-Benson 23 May 2018

Absolutely right! You should only have people you actually wanna see

Amy Carr
Amy Carr 23 May 2018

What's with the troll on this post 🤔🤔

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

We went abroad to get married, then you can invite everyone. When they have to cough up to get to your wedding they wont come.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

Yup I agree!

Laura Stewart
Laura Stewart 23 May 2018

Try explaining how much it’s costing per extra child and show him the over all total, might help

We’ve said no child to day or night, our wedding and our choice

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 May 2018

We decided on how many people we could afford than halved the numbers to invite who we wanted, so responsible for half the guests each. children or additional people we would pay for individually.... amazing what happens when you work out the cost

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 May 2018

You're not wrong at all. I felt the same, just tell him how you feel and try to find a compromise. It's not a bad thing to invite family to your wedding who you havent seen for a long time though, it's nice to use it as a chance to catch up :) perhaps he would agree to only inviting them to the evening?

Rhian Priest-Dibben
Rhian Priest-Dibben 24 May 2018

I guess it depends on who is paying, is his family contributing? Would they be upset if some people aren't coming? I have a much much larger family than my other half, but he has just accepted i'll have much more guests haha

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 May 2018

We are having the same predicament. Why should I fork out 120 pp for a family of 8 that I've not spoken to in 3 years. Only trouble is it's my brother and his family and he should be there. 6 children who will run riot
Not too keen either so don't feel bad there's always going to be some issue over guests. I've made a rule however only day guests get to bring children and not evening guests

Amy Carr
Amy Carr 25 May 2018

OK so deleted my comment. Didn't mean to upset anyone with what I Said just passed on some advice I heard from my nan once! Didn't think it would upset the many of you who had been married for years. Seriously what's your problem???

Dina Gregory
Dina Gregory 6 Jun 2018

you could say you only want people who bother with you both at your wedding theres only room for close family and friends. We have had to reduce the amount of people we wanted to invite because it got way out of control and would basically invite everyone we know, but then i got to the stage where if they dont speak or see us why should we bother inviting them especially if we dont like some of them. we have split list in half and will choose the main people who we want to come also some that i want there are part of the wedding set up like my photographer my caterer are just a couple who i wanted to come anyway ive just got added bonus they are helping out by keeping costs low (i will be paying but not at silly prices) x

Stephanie Smith
Stephanie Smith 8 Oct 2018

Thanks for the answers guys I’ve set the guest list to 50 people each, if his is filled with peoples spawn then fair enough.. 16 of his are kids 🤨 I dare one to start moaning that they’re bored on the day.. they can sit outside on their own haha

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Oct 2018

I have the same issue with my other half but just said we cant afford to invite everyone as much as id love to. So we wrote a list if everyone we would invite if money was no object then said we can afford x amount of people so give each person a colour (green have to come, orange like to come but maybe just for evening and red for not fussed/ backup if anyone cant come)
This made him realise that sometimes sacrifices need to be made as we physically cant afford to have everyone there.

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