So I’m stuck, my friend got married last year and out 4 year old was not invited, now we get married next year and the same couple have just told us there having a baby ????. Asking if they can bring the baby it will be 4 months old on our wedding day. Help
As much as I would love to say tell her no. .. I think if your allowing other children at your wedding then I feel it wouldn't be fair to refuse her....however you could set a lower age limit or politely ask that if her baby cries during the ceremony she leaves x
I think if other children are there ( not just your own ) you can't really say no but as susie booth said if babe crys she is gonna have to be willing to take baby out
If your allowing other children at your wedding then you can’t really say no, you can’t just say no because your children couldn’t go to theirs x
Well it depends on whether children are welcome at your wedding. If children aren't welcome ask them to try and find a babysitter.
You can't just say "your child can't come to my wedding because my child wasn't allowed at yours" as that's just spiteful.
I think there’s a slight difference with babies and children... the baby won’t take up a seat as such.. where as a child would, their decision may have been based on numbers? Hence choosing no children to make spaces/seats for more guests. Up to you though. X
Or you can say you would rather not have children under the age of 2 for example if you don't want there baby to come
If she is breast feeding then it is difficult to leave baby anywhere. Also I was NOT ready to leave my baby at 4 months certainly not for a full day! I had 2 very small babies at my wedding and they were no bother at all neither cried and they didn't cost anything! The 4 and 6 year olds cost 15 quid a head at ours so maybe that's why they left your little one out? Xx
I had a no children rule at my wedding. Our only exception was for family kids, the youngest was 7 and our bridesmaid. There were 2 others aged 9 and 11 and then 2 older teens.
My best friend had 3 kids of similar ages and didnt mind not taking them despite having kids there on the day. A friend left her 6 month old with her parents and left after the afternoon meal to go check on babe and came back later on.
I think it’s different when it come to small babies (4 months is still quite small to me) you should let the baby come to the wedding. Tbh I don’t think you should expect them to find a babysitter for such a small baby. Xx
Ask if it would be possible for someone to keep the wee one for the service but your more than happy for baby to come and if baby cries when doing speaches could they move away for all older guests to hear what's being said. Think that's a good compromise if stated on everyone's invitations that are taking small kids then they won't feel like you don't want them there .
Did she have any other children at her wedding besides family? I think it’s a bit different a 4 month and 4 year old to be honest, at 4 months I wouldn’t of been as confortable leaving my baby to go to a wedding but at 4 I wouldn’t mind, the baby isn’t going to cost u anything isn’t going to take up a seat and may well be breast fed which would make it extremely difficult to leave at 4 they take up a seat, cost money and are more than happy to go stay with family it’s fun for them as well as a night off for u, if u say no it does look a little like tit for tat if u ave other children there , that’s just my opinion though it’s your wedding no one else’s so whatever decision you make will be the right one for you 🙂 xxx
A babe in arms is slightly different to a 4 year old. Your friend may be breastfeeding (and not all babies will take an expressed bottle or formula). Also,if she had a child free wedding (so it wasn't just your child who was excluded) then it's a little petty to be thinking that you won't invite the baby to yours because your child wasn't to hers. I'm sure she or her husband will take the baby out if s/he cries,and in terms of expense, a baby doesn't cost you anything
Do you really want to play tit for tat? If you're inviting other children then of course you need to invite the new baby.
A 4 month old babe in arms is very different to a 4 year old! We will allow babies, you can't ask a mum to leave a small baby all day, especially if breastfeeding.
If any friend of mine told me I couldn’t bring a 4 month old somewhere that would be the complete end of that friendship. Especially if the baby is breastfed. However I wouldn’t be offended if they said no to my 3.5 year old.
A babe in arms is completely different.
I have a 6 month old daughter and if we were invited to a wedding without her, I wouldn’t go at all. She is breastfed and I haven’t left her at all yet. Your friend may say the same, so it depends whether you’d be bothered if she didn’t come at all!
You can’t say no to a baby that young, what if she’s breastfeeding? If you want her there then the baby goes too. You’re not a child yourself deal with it in an adult way.
there's a huge difference between 4 years old & 4 months old. We had a 'no children please' policy at our wedding, but a friend of ours had a 4 month old. If we wanted our friends to be there, their baby had to come to - couldn't leave a baby at home! So she was the only child there that wasn't family, and was very good when it came to taking her away if she starting crying
Would it make much of a difference to you if the 4 month old is there? The mother may be breast feeding and it’s unlikely you would need to provide food for the baby. I think it’s a slightly different situation.
Your wedding your rules? My first wedding we said no children other than the bridesmaids and page boy! At 4 months she maybe breastfeeding but at the end of the day they can always say no they can’t come
I think it should be a decision that's made for all your friends and their children not just the one because they didn't invite yours. We're having children from the bridal party and family only for the day. We're a bit more open to allowing other kids in the evening but mainly down to the expense of it, so if it was a baby under 2 then I'd allow it. xx
A 4 month old will not cost you any money to have at the wedding it’s not like it’s gonna be eating so I would say yes.save yourself any hassle
I'd say no
I'd say no specially if they didn't allow children at their own I'd say no to them just very close family children sorry
No, i probably wouldnt let them, purely because i wouldnt have the space, depends on guest space, obv baby wouldnt eat ect but space really
We originally we're having no children rule except family but a few friends have had children so we changed the rule slightly. If they are under 1 they can come but only if parents are invited to the whole thing. We have not invited any children to the evening reception.
A 4 month old is completely different to a 4yr old. We didn't invite children for multiple reasons but one was because we were worried about the younger ones playing up during the ceremony etc. But a 4 month old isn't likely to cause any issues, and it's not fair to expect the parents to leave their new baby with someone else! Especially if it's being breastfed
Sometimes it’s on money per head people can’t afford to but in any case I’d be the bigger person and allow it it they are friends if u are doubting there friendshit then that’s ur decision they might of already seen this post good luck with the choice
If you aren't having kids at the wedding (or only your own maybe nieces or nephews) then no don't invite the baby. If you are then the question is childish as you are doing it as tit for tat x
I don't think their wedding decisions should make a difference. You should just decide overall if you're allowing kids/babies or not. If you decide you're not having them there then tell her that and you'll just have to respect her decision if she says she can't go xx
If other kids are invited (not including your own or close families obviously) I would say yes but if not then no. And she shouldn't be asking!
How dare they have a baby just to spite you, after you weren't allowed to take your toddler to their wedding?
This would have so much more validity as a question if you hadn't revealed that you're just hacked off that your kid wasn't invited and now you're trying to find a passive aggressive method of revenge. But yeah, tell them they can't have their 16-week baby who needs frequent feeds with them on your wedding day if it makes you feel better (and why are you inviting her at all? It doesn't sound like the warmest friendship in the world from where I'm sitting...)
Just say no! Do what makes you happy. It's your day. Bugger everyone else.
Honestly i wouldnt go if my child couldnt, dos not matter if they are 4 months or 4 yrs
Are you unsure about letting baby come because they wouldn't let your 4 year old? There's a big difference between a 4 year old and a 4 month old. Chances are if you don't allow the baby to come your friends won't come, especially if she is breastfeeding
I think a baby and a 4year old are a little different. You can’t really expect the to leave there new baby.